Why can't we wish people dead?

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I don't think its wrong to wish someone dead/. Wishes are just wishes. I have been known to put curses on people. I enjoy doing that. I have also discussed assassinations with a friend of mine. We expect the FBI at our doors soon. Since my thoughts have no power, I will remain free , as we once were as children who used to say, drop dead! to people they were mad at. Its a hard habit to break.

I cannot find the immorality in this. I have never used my curse power or name calling wishes on any one on pricescope.

But Someday Maybe.... Annette

 

[Cerulean]

That is your point of view. You are not in my mind and cannot say what I feel with that statement. I don't wish people harm because I don't. It isn't who I am. I treat others the way I want to be treated. YMMV. And obviously does.

I didn't say "wishing people dead is wrong"...I was quoting Matata. See her above post.


@Cerulean You feel very strongly about this. Perhaps you are the one who is feeling guilt about how you feel since you seem intent on trying to prove that I am feeling guilt. I did say I don't think it is OK from my POV to wish someone dead. But I wasn't putting that on others. This is what works for me and who I am.


FWIW I am not religious in any way and never have been.

I don't even know how to unpack this without coming off as more aggressive (how relevant) than is reflective of my actual attitude towards this.

I have no stake in this. I think you are misunderstanding my perspective, to be honest. I do not intend to target you or presume to know your thoughts. If I came off that way, it was unintentional.

I am however exhausted by how freely people seem to determine what is right and wrong. To say something is wrong is in fact a moral judgment. That doesn't mean that I think you are going around telling people they are being bad, etc.

I particularly have no interest in casting human behavior that is in the realm of acceptable norms (e.g. wishing someone dead) into a moral spectrum of right and wrong. I think it obfuscates the reality of who we are, how we behave, and how we can operate as a society. That is what I care about with this discussion. I care about an understanding of human behavior.

Aggression is an aspect of human nature. There is evidence of this throughout human history, although I think the concepts of these tendencies are a bit more recent (~late 1500s)...we can thank the philosopher Hobbes for that

It is totally unrealistic for any person to not have "bad" or violent thoughts about other people. Whether it takes the form of wishing someone dead, cursing at them, snapping in frustration, feeling a moment of pleasure when something bad happens to someone...the details are irrelevant. We just happen to be talking about a specific instance.

Thought is far healthier for a society than action (provided, as I think @ItsMainelyYou you pointed out, you aren't fixated...then you are talking about pathology).

And yet, many of us believe that even thought is not okay. I think that is a mistake, and I think it is repression. That's all.

 

[GeliL]

Editing to add: I also think there is a bit of self righteousness by saying exceptions are ok. Who are you to decide what is wrong-ENOUGH to make it ok? Based on the laws of man? The laws of your religion? The comings and goings of a simple whim? By saying I decide these exceptions are ok, you are still inputting your own morality into the situation.

But that's just it. Everyone has their own opinions and laws, and the extent you can really go is to decide what is right and wrong for you. That's why people disagree.

But there are still situations where most people agree on one thing, and that's how laws are made. It's not religions that makes people think one way, I mean, how were they even created in the first place if no one really agreed with their ideals? Whether or not that's "right" is not relevant.

 

[telephone89]

But that's just it. Everyone has their own opinions and laws, and the extent you can really go is to decide what is right and wrong for you. That's why people disagree.

But there are still situations where most people agree on one thing, and that's how laws are made. It's not religions that makes people think one way, I mean, how were they even created in the first place if no one really agreed with their ideals? Whether or not that's "right" is a whole other debate.

Great point. Saying "I won't do this because I feel XYZ" is totally different (and more acceptable) than "YOU shouldn't do this because I feel XYZ". But that's how I feel about religion/religious based laws in general.

 

[GeliL]

Great point. Saying "I won't do this because I feel XYZ" is totally different (and more acceptable) than "YOU shouldn't do this because I feel XYZ". But that's how I feel about religion/religious based laws in general.

The concept of teaching exist because of people spreading their morality, so there is a reason behind why people think it's ok to decide whats right and wrong for others. Not saying whether or not that's acceptable, but the whole point in preaching is that sometimes it works! It is a form of communication and can sometimes bring in new ideas and perspective, from which others adapt their thoughts and processes. It's not a good or bad thing, I just think it's a form of gaining new knowledge. Of course, this is only limited to preaching via reasoning and respect, not through coersion and harm where no meaningful discussion is made.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

As a Canadian, you are now dead to me.

I had to because I thought of you.
NooOooOooOoo! Poutine!

https://twitter.com/x/status/1403415924753850368

 

[missy]

It is totally unrealistic for any person to not have "bad" or violent thoughts about other people. Whether it takes the form of wishing someone dead, cursing at them, snapping in frustration, feeling a moment of pleasure when something bad happens to someone...the details are irrelevant.

The details are relevant though. I was responding to *wishing* someone dead. I personally don’t feel that’s constructive for me. Not telling you how to feel. A question was asked and I answered it. You made a leap to other things such as snapping in frustration, cursing, etc. Nowhere did I say I’m for repressing one’s feelings or thoughts.

I, too, have no stake in this. Perhaps there’s been misunderstanding on both parts.

Did I ever wish anyone dead? No.
Do I think we should repress our feelings and thoughts? No.

 

[Tarquin]

Speak for yourself. I am a baby boomer/gen x. No snowflake genetics here.
Actions always speak louder than words but words can harm and one should choose their words carefully.
Plus, we are speaking about thoughts here anyway and i stand by the fact that it harms us more than the person we are wishing harm to. However YMMV and clearly does.




For some “nice” is a dirty word. :/

I think there are snowflakes in every age group.

Speak for yourself. I am a baby boomer/gen x. No snowflake genetics here.
Actions always speak louder than words but words can harm and one should choose their words carefully.
Plus, we are speaking about thoughts here anyway and i stand by the fact that it harms us more than the person we are wishing harm to. However YMMV and clearly does.




For some “nice” is a dirty word. :/

Ehh. I've never cared enough or been harmed enough to wish someone dead. However, I'm not going to judge someone that wishes someone that harmed them dead.

Nor does it bother me if someone in a traffic altercation or being sexually harassed tells some to "drop dead' rather than "F off". It seems less vulgar to me actually.

I agree that its bad karma to actually wish someone dead. The proper wish is that they get what they deserve and to leave it to the fates to serve that up.

 

[Cerulean]

I had to because I thought of you.
NooOooOooOoo! Poutine!

https://twitter.com/x/status/1403415924753850368

Man, I’m getting hungry

 

[Gussie]

And yet, many of us believe that even thought is not okay. I think that is a mistake, and I think it is repression. That's all.

This is quite judgemental. Some people choose to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts in order to protect their own well being. That isn't necessarily repression. For some of us, it is the healthier route.

 

[MamaBee]

Superstition can be powerful. My mother's side of the family is Italian. Anytime someone got a headache they'd go to my grandmother to see if they had maloik (evil eye). She'd sit mumbling unintelligibly over a bowl of water into which she dropped beads of oil. If the oil formed an eye shape, the person was a victim of the evil eye. My grandmother could sometimes identify the perpetrator of the curse. It seemed the only way to rid oneself of maloik was to cast a curse on the original curser which led to a curse war and a lot of headaches

@Matata I’m all Italian…I only knew one grandma..I feel cheated…Mine could only make great meatballs..

 

[canuk-gal]

Man, I’m getting hungry

It is a scientific fact that they who eat poutine will eventually die.

Hence the segue of poutine into this conversation is in fact a death wish for those who imbibe.

I just had to point that out.

Sorry.

 

[Matata]

It is a scientific fact that they whose eat poutine will eventually die.

Hence the segue of poutine into this conversation is in fact a death wish for those who imbibe.

There are far worse ways to die

 

[missy]

For all my Poutine loving friends.




And some lasagna for those who might prefer that. You can’t go wrong with lasagna.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

It is a scientific fact that they who eat poutine will eventually die.

Hence the segue of poutine into this conversation is in fact a death wish for those who imbibe.

I just had to point that out.

Sorry.

HA! That's right kiddies!
Yeah, I said it!
A PO(utine)X on ALL your houses!

 

[canuk-gal]

HA! That's right kiddies!
Yeah, I said it!
A PO(utine)X on ALL your houses!

And I've got a Hallmark card with your name on it.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

But what if you were wishing them dead while being efficient?

Say you wished them dead while making pancakes and scrubbing floors?

Is it just because it's "not nice"?

Or is the idea that you will be distracted cursing them, add too much baking powder into your pancakes, ruin your pancakes, hence the bad energy argument?

Or do you think the cosmic forces will make a car hit you if you wished so and so dead?

On that note I'm off to assemble mango pancakes and no I'm not wishing anyone dead!!! Using frozen mangoes which are problematic so can't afford bad vibes!

Hmmm
No to this in combo with baking
Food needs love

However when scrubbing the toilet - well that is a different matter entirely


Enjoy your pancakes

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I had a yoga teacher who at the end of every class encouraged us to think about someone we didn't like. We had to imagine that person and slowly surround them with a gentle light. Sometimes it would work for me and sometimes it wouldn't - but it has absolutely nothing to do with the person on the receiving end of your glowing light, they are none the wiser. Like @Gussie suggested, it has everything to do with not destroying the insides of your own head.

This reminds me of the Buddist meditation i used to go to
In a past life your best freind may now be your enemy and vica a versa

I do try to remember unpleasent people in my prayers because sometimes they have troubles we dont know about that make them unpleasent

But when it comes to people like Hitler.....

 

[GeliL]

Man, this thread is drawing out my Canadian-ness and making me hungry for poutine.

 

[Arcadian]

My middle brother would tell me "I wish you were dead" and it used to sting. It lost its sting around high school and I would tell him to "wish harder".

To that end, I don't wish people were dead because I feel like, that carries bad energy. Thats energy I can put to use somewhere else. I can't hang on empty thoughts. If I go that route I may try to make it so.

 

[voce]

Is it worse to wish people dead in a completely statistical, abstract way or a specific person dead?

Is it worse to wish someone dead or to wish they were never born?

I don't really hold on to negative energy, or wish ill on any one specific person. However, I hold the view that humans are one of the worst ecological disasters ever and wish more people would stop having so many children that population grows exponentially. So in a very abstract sense I wish most of the people on Earth were never here. Is this offensive?

 

[kenny]

Recently two different posters have somehow misinterpreted a post as "wishing death" upon someone.
Both occurrences were in this thread, "99.2% of recent US Covid deaths were unvaccinated people".
It happened to me in that thread, see posts # 165 through about 199.
It also happened to Westofhere, see posts starting with # 533.

I was mystified at the coincidence of two people making the same irrational, bizarre, and inexplicable mistake in reading comprehension, so I asked my SO.
He immediately said, “Oh, those two posters may have been raised Catholic.”
He was not only raised Catholic, his mom’s a Catechism teacher, so this 'disgusted at wishing death on someone' reaction was no surprise to him.
The Catholic Church’s Catechism, aka CCC, is nearly 1000 pages of Catholic teachings, I presume for the training children and adult converts in the Catholic ways.

Per the CCC wishing someone dead falls under the seven deadly (mortal) sin of wrath.
(CCC 2302–03) "Hatred is the sin of desiring that someone else may suffer misfortune or evil, and is a mortal sin when one desires grave harm."
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins#Wrath
Here we also see the term 'hatred' connected to 'wishing death on someone'.

I’m not saying both of these posters are Catholic, but religious teachings do find their way into secular American life.
Just look at a US dollar bill.

 

[kenny]

Time for some light and fluffy humor ...

Why can't we wish people dead?​

Because wishing is not very effective.
Perhaps try a gun.

 

[voce]

Time for some light and fluffy humor ...

Why can't we wish people dead?​

Because wishing is not very effective.
Perhaps try a gun.

Somehow when you mention the word "gun" it sucks out any levity in the joke.

 

[kenny]

Somehow when you mention the word "gun" it sucks out any levity in the joke.

... for you.

Dark humor's not everyone's cup of tea.
Nothing is.

 

[voce]

... for you.
Not everyone appreciates dark humor.

Your humor is very dark indeed. I can appreciate it, but you are coming from a very dark place if you considered that one light and fluffy.

 

[kenny]

Your humor is very dark indeed. I can appreciate it, but you are coming from a very dark place if you considered that one light and fluffy.

Irony
Sarcasm

 

[qubitasaurus]

Mmmm I can't see anything wrong with privately wishing someone dead. You could write a list of pros/cons and possible consequences from doing this but if its making you feel better and you're not doing anything that could cause them harm then I don't see the problem.

What I'd be more worried about is that this will drain you emotionally and you won't feel better (even if it's momentarily satisfying). It probably won't have any external effect other than to make you concentrate on all of the reasons you wish they were dead-- all probably negative thoughts. And you'd be better off just finding a hobby you really enjoy like cooking, or snuggling with your husband and kid and throwing whatever time your using for this into planning the next meal/reading a baking blog or deciding on something you'd like to do with them.

 

[GoldenTouch]

Wishing and doing are two different things. You can wish for all you want and and as long as you don’t act on you thoughts you are not a band person.

I grew up going to church & I don’t believe that as humans ANY of us have never wished ill on someone.... if you say you haven’t I’d think you were a fibber...

Honestly I have thought of things and have I hoped terrible things would happen to a horrible people - in my opinion - way worse than death. Some people I hope can suffer I like they have made their victims suffer. A sudden death is too kind for some people in my opinion.

I have high morals but I will not morn a death of someone nasty. Yes, I do feel for those that cared and loved for them because it is horrible to lose someone we care about.... but for that person no.

My last psych test for a job came back that they had never come across a more honest person. It is how it is.

like the idea of karma.... but I don’t believe in what goes around comes around because there are too many nasty, evil arses walking around.

 

[Babyblue033]

I'm not quite a "death wisher", but I've been known to wish diarrhea on people on occassion. Like the time when I woke up one morning and found my car sitting on bricks with all 4 tires missing And I'm not sorry about it