What''s been the biggest surprise so far?

[musey]

How has your spouse surprised you so far?

For me...
There was a pretty quick shift in my husband, over the first three months or so, from boyfriend to husband roles. He fell into the "I want to provide for my family" thing before I realized it was happening. He was always the supportive/nurturing type, but this I-want-to-take-care-of-you attitude is relatively new, unexpected... and super cute.

Everything else has been pretty un-surprising

 

[Haven]

My husband is obsessed with coasters. He spends quite a bit of time making sure that everyone is using coasters whenever we have company. My mom calls him the coaster police.

It must be a byproduct of growing up in a family that owns furniture stores, but it shocked the heck out of me when I woke up the morning of our first big house party to find coasters placed at regular intervals on all of the surfaces in the house.

 

[iheartscience]

Hmm...I don''t know if there''s been any marriage-related surprises, but we closed on our house right after the wedding and it''s funny how being homeowners has changed us both. We don''t put off chores, we were both way too excited about the lawnmower my parents bought us for a housewarming gift, he couldn''t wait to mow the lawn, etc. We''re basically old people now!

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 9/20/2009 1:05:20 AM
Author: Haven
My husband is obsessed with coasters. He spends quite a bit of time making sure that everyone is using coasters whenever we have company. My mom calls him the coaster police.

It must be a byproduct of growing up in a family that owns furniture stores, but it shocked the heck out of me when I woke up the morning of our first big house party to find coasters placed at regular intervals on all of the surfaces in the house.

LOL!!!

 

[Bliss]

Date: 9/19/2009 9:06:50 PM
Author:musey
How has your spouse surprised you so far?

For me...
There was a pretty quick shift in my husband, over the first three months or so, from boyfriend to husband roles. He fell into the 'I want to provide for my family' thing before I realized it was happening. He was always the supportive/nurturing type, but this I-want-to-take-care-of-you attitude is relatively new, unexpected... and super cute.

Everything else has been pretty un-surprising

Me, too! I honestly thought being married would be the same as dating DH or being engaged to DH. But it totally changed. It's like a whole new level of intimacy. I feel also that DH turned into an even more dedicated caretaker. He feeds me vitamins, worries about my health when I have a tummyache... makes sure I always have enough money in my wallet just in case...gets worried when I come home late after meeting friends. It's really amazing because I did not expect it at all. He was already like this but now, it's way more intimate.

Don't get me wrong, we still have the "I want to kick u in the butt" moments like normal couples - but he has really turned into a protective bear since we got married.

 

[Elmorton]

Yupp - totally agreed about how there''s some weird maternal switch that got turned on when DH and I got married. He''s very, very, very caretaking. He cares a lot less what his friends think - not that this was a big issue before getting married, but he doesn''t seem to really care where his friends are in life, he just forges along with me.

 

[bee*]

Date: 9/20/2009 11:02:43 PM
Author: Elmorton
Yupp - totally agreed about how there''s some weird maternal switch that got turned on when DH and I got married. He''s very, very, very caretaking. He cares a lot less what his friends think - not that this was a big issue before getting married, but he doesn''t seem to really care where his friends are in life, he just forges along with me.

Yeah D has been acting similar to that as well. And although he was always physically affectionate, he''s doubled that as well. He''s always hugging me, giving kisses etc. It''s lovely.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 9/19/2009 9:06:50 PM
Author:musey
How has your spouse surprised you so far?

For me...
There was a pretty quick shift in my husband, over the first three months or so, from boyfriend to husband roles. He fell into the ''I want to provide for my family'' thing before I realized it was happening. He was always the supportive/nurturing type, but this I-want-to-take-care-of-you attitude is relatively new, unexpected... and super cute.

Everything else has been pretty un-surprising

Musey, that is so sweet!

We had a subtle change in our relationship as well. Like others mentioned, we feel more intimate, more like a ''team''. Which is strange because we never weren''t a team. But I like this feeling of a family unit, and we can''t get past calling each other husband/wife, especially in coversations with random people! Loving it!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

What was the biggest surprise for me was that the transition to marriage was easier for D than me.

Because D had commitment issues, my fear was that I'd see a similar pattern when it came to other "big" decisions--buying a house, starting a family, etc. When we got married, however, he was the one who was more ready for all of the next-steps. I also saw him slip more into the "provider" role, and to be honest, I slipped more into a "domestic" role. When we lived together, everything was 50/50--finances, chores, etc., however when we got married we fell into roles that I think are more natural for us and to be honest, it made living together easier--like everyone has mentioned, it made us feel like a team.

 

[Lilac]

It''s hard to explain because even before we were married we had "felt" like we were married in the sense that we thought about each other when making any decisions, we looked at our money as shared money between both of us, and we felt like a team. But somehow, after we got married all those things intensified - I think he feels even more so like it''s his responsibility to take care of me and, although I didn''t think it was possible to feel even more like a team than we already did, we DO feel even more connected and like a team.

 

[allycat0303]

Well. I''m much happier in the relationship then I thought I would be. I had a lot of fear associated to the marriage. I was worried that it would change the GOOD things about the relationship, and accentuate the problems. Surprisingly, that didn''t happen. In addition, he adjusted to my crazy schedual very quickly, much more so then I thought he would. I never thought it would be me that would find the work/life balance difficult, but that''s the case.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 9/20/2009 12:01:08 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 9/20/2009 1:05:20 AM
Author: Haven
My husband is obsessed with coasters. He spends quite a bit of time making sure that everyone is using coasters whenever we have company. My mom calls him the coaster police.

It must be a byproduct of growing up in a family that owns furniture stores, but it shocked the heck out of me when I woke up the morning of our first big house party to find coasters placed at regular intervals on all of the surfaces in the house.

LOL!!!

LMAO!!! That''s classic.

 

[Haven]

Date: 10/2/2009 11:19:45 AM
Author: geckodani

Date: 9/20/2009 12:01:08 PM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 9/20/2009 1:05:20 AM
Author: Haven
My husband is obsessed with coasters. He spends quite a bit of time making sure that everyone is using coasters whenever we have company. My mom calls him the coaster police.

It must be a byproduct of growing up in a family that owns furniture stores, but it shocked the heck out of me when I woke up the morning of our first big house party to find coasters placed at regular intervals on all of the surfaces in the house.

LOL!!!

LMAO!!! That''s classic.

I suppose I can laugh about it, now. It was extremely bizarre and a little disturbing for a while, but I''m embracing his coaster obsession.
In fact, I just bought two sets of apple-themed coasters to use for our Apple Fest party this Sunday. He was so excited.

 

[princesss]

Date: 10/2/2009 7:57:43 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 10/2/2009 11:19:45 AM

Author: geckodani

Date: 9/20/2009 12:01:08 PM

Author: vespergirl

Date: 9/20/2009 1:05:20 AM

Author: Haven

My husband is obsessed with coasters. He spends quite a bit of time making sure that everyone is using coasters whenever we have company. My mom calls him the coaster police.


It must be a byproduct of growing up in a family that owns furniture stores, but it shocked the heck out of me when I woke up the morning of our first big house party to find coasters placed at regular intervals on all of the surfaces in the house.

LOL!!!

LMAO!!! That''s classic.

I suppose I can laugh about it, now. It was extremely bizarre and a little disturbing for a while, but I''m embracing his coaster obsession.

In fact, I just bought two sets of apple-themed coasters to use for our Apple Fest party this Sunday. He was so excited.

Awwwwww.

 

[noelwr]

nothing has changed between us as we''ve already been living together for 7-years, are co-owners of our homes and have been filing our taxes together, but...

my dreams have changed. DH used to hardly be in my dreams, except that horrible dream I have once a year that he''s been cheating and my heart is so broken (only to wake up and realize he''d never do that, of course).

since we''ve returned from the honeymoon, he is always with me in my dreams. not the subject of my dreams, but always by my side going through everything with me.

 

[musey]

Date: 10/5/2009 12:57:18 PM
Author: noelwr
nothing has changed between us as we''ve already been living together for 7-years, are co-owners of our homes and have been filing our taxes together

Really?? Nothing? We''d been together for a very long time, and living together for most of it, but there were still some subtle shifts in the dynamic of our relationship. It really surprised me, but I guess it surprises me even more after having experienced that to hear that someone saw literally no change in their relationship after the wedding.

Of course, that''s probably a good thing in that you truly were already "married" in your hearts

 

[kama_s]

Date: 10/5/2009 9:32:30 PM
Author: musey

Date: 10/5/2009 12:57:18 PM
Author: noelwr
nothing has changed between us as we''ve already been living together for 7-years, are co-owners of our homes and have been filing our taxes together

Really?? Nothing? We''d been together for a very long time, and living together for most of it, but there were still some subtle shifts in the dynamic of our relationship. It really surprised me, but I guess it surprises me even more after having experienced that to hear that someone saw literally no change in their relationship after the wedding.

Of course, that''s probably a good thing in that you truly were already ''married'' in your hearts

Sorry for the mini-threadjack, but just yesterday I was wondering where you''ve been! Haven''t seen you around much...I was beginning to miss your posts!

 

[noelwr]

kama_s do you mean me or musey?

musey really, no noticeable change. the first week we were back from honeymoon I was afraid something bad would happen to him and that would be the end of our perfect life together. not that there was anything to make me worry, I guess I just thought it was all too good to be true! but I didn't let him know this as I was just being silly.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 10/7/2009 12:04:07 PM
Author: noelwr
kama_s do you mean me or musey?

Oops, it was directed towards Musey. So sorry for the confusion

 

[musey]

Hi Kama!!

I've gotten busier and busier with work over the past four months or so. Actually, soon after (a couple of weeks) I hit 10k I got a new job and sorta dropped away from PS (at least comparatively so). People probably thought I was one of the hit-10k-and-run variety!! But I've just been busy.

It's nice to pop in and chat when I can!

 

[kama_s]

Date: 10/7/2009 1:53:42 PM
Author: musey
Hi Kama!!

I''ve gotten busier and busier with work over the past four months or so. Actually, soon after (a couple of weeks) I hit 10k I got a new job and sorta dropped away from PS (at least comparatively so). People probably thought I was one of the hit-10k-and-run variety!! But I''ve just been busy.

It''s nice to pop in and chat when I can!

Congrats on the new job! I can imagine that would be keeping you quite busy. Glad to see you around though, I really do love reading your posts

 

[musey]

Date: 10/7/2009 11:05:27 PM
Author: kama_s

Date: 10/7/2009 1:53:42 PM
Author: musey
Hi Kama!!

I''ve gotten busier and busier with work over the past four months or so. Actually, soon after (a couple of weeks) I hit 10k I got a new job and sorta dropped away from PS (at least comparatively so). People probably thought I was one of the hit-10k-and-run variety!! But I''ve just been busy.

It''s nice to pop in and chat when I can!

Congrats on the new job! I can imagine that would be keeping you quite busy. Glad to see you around though, I really do love reading your posts

Likewise!!

and thanks for the congrats!

 

[HollyS]

Nothing is surprising about The Hubs - - his persnickity habits, etc. We''ve known each other too long for that.

But, I didn''t realize how much I would miss being ''alone'' when I wanted to be. NOT thinkinig about what someone else wants for dinner, NOT participating in said dinner, NOT talking when I didn''t want to, NOT watching TV together. . . just being able to do my own thing. Flop on the couch, stare at a wall, crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head when the day sucked. That stuff. Gosh, I miss that stuff. But I''d miss him more if I really was alone.

 

[musey]

Date: 10/8/2009 1:29:52 PM
Author: HollyS
But, I didn''t realize how much I would miss being ''alone'' when I wanted to be. NOT thinkinig about what someone else wants for dinner, NOT participating in said dinner, NOT talking when I didn''t want to, NOT watching TV together. . . just being able to do my own thing. Flop on the couch, stare at a wall, crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head when the day sucked. That stuff. Gosh, I miss that stuff. But I''d miss him more if I really was alone.

Why on earth can''t you still have that stuff?

I REALLY need some alone time sometimes, and so does he. We just spend the evening ignoring each other sometimes

I don''t feel like marriage has to mean being tied to the other person and their activity schedule at all times.

 

[Diva0413]

Even though I''ve only been married for 20 days, DH has already started talking future. Not that we weren''t doing it before, but before, it was more so me talking about it and him listening. Now, he''s always talking about it, with a HUGE smile on his face, and he always says at least once a day, "I want to be a good husband." Awww...

 

[noelwr]

Date: 10/7/2009 1:53:42 PM
Author: musey
Hi Kama!!

I''ve gotten busier and busier with work over the past four months or so. Actually, soon after (a couple of weeks) I hit 10k I got a new job and sorta dropped away from PS (at least comparatively so). People probably thought I was one of the hit-10k-and-run variety!! But I''ve just been busy.


It''s nice to pop in and chat when I can!

musey what is 10k?

 

[Smurfysmiles]

a 10k is a marathon, right musey? i forget how long it is though...10 kilometers?

 

[KatyWI]

She meant when she hit 10,000 posts.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Date: 10/8/2009 1:29:52 PM
Author: HollyS
Nothing is surprising about The Hubs - - his persnickity habits, etc. We''ve known each other too long for that.

But, I didn''t realize how much I would miss being ''alone'' when I wanted to be. NOT thinkinig about what someone else wants for dinner, NOT participating in said dinner, NOT talking when I didn''t want to, NOT watching TV together. . . just being able to do my own thing. Flop on the couch, stare at a wall, crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head when the day sucked. That stuff. Gosh, I miss that stuff. But I''d miss him more if I really was alone.

I''ve always loved my alone time, but strangely enough in the past year or so I''ve preferred less alone time. When we were dating, D was in consulting and would travel all week, then be home on the weekends. I always loved it, but now I''m glad he no longer has that schedule. I think about one "alone" evening a week is good for me. After taking a vacation together, 2 days of alone time might be better

Then again, D is on a vacation with a friend right now and I miss him, so I might feel differently in a week!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 10/8/2009 2:44:59 PM
Author: musey

Date: 10/8/2009 1:29:52 PM
Author: HollyS
But, I didn''t realize how much I would miss being ''alone'' when I wanted to be. NOT thinkinig about what someone else wants for dinner, NOT participating in said dinner, NOT talking when I didn''t want to, NOT watching TV together. . . just being able to do my own thing. Flop on the couch, stare at a wall, crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head when the day sucked. That stuff. Gosh, I miss that stuff. But I''d miss him more if I really was alone.

Why on earth can''t you still have that stuff?

I REALLY need some alone time sometimes, and so does he. We just spend the evening ignoring each other sometimes

I don''t feel like marriage has to mean being tied to the other person and their activity schedule at all times.

It''s not that I can''t do those things, it''s that it isn''t the same as being alone. If, for instance, crawling into bed at 9PM without dinner seems like a good idea to me (and something I might do if I were alone), that activity would seem alien/abnormal to him - - and need explanation. And then we would have to have the "Baby, are you alright? Can I get you anything? What''s wrong? Are you sure you''re okay?" conversation. . . which I wouldn''t have to have if I were alone. See the difference?

But, it''s a small thing.