absolut_blonde
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2008
- Messages
- 808
I completely understand where VG is coming from.
Similar values are critical. What she described with her ex was clearly a massive clash of values. Some women, like my BFF, would be happy supporting their H while he worked PT to pursue his (impractical) dreams... I am not one of them. Call me old-fashioned, but if anyone will be working PT (or not working) then I want it to be me so that I can be with our children. [Not to say I''m opposed to SAHD for others]. I would support SO temporarily if he were pursuing something practical such as more schooling, however - just not what VG was describing.
It''s not the money that matters so much as the ambition and desire to provide. My SO has both and I am thankful because frankly, I would not be happy with a partner who was 100% fulfilled working at a video store part-time while I busted my butt in a professional 9-5 job. That isn''t compatible with how I was raised, what I was taught to value and the kind of lifestyle I want to lead. I have 2 degrees and I want someone equally ambitious (though, my SO has less schooling than me and that''s fine).
I want a man who makes it a priority to ensure our family will have a comfortable lifestyle where we don''t have to worry about money all of the time. Even if things don''t pan out that way, the fact that he at least WANTS that and is striving to make that happen is important to me.
And if, god forbid, anything ever happened to SO that made me the breadwinner of COURSE I would stick by him. That would be the result of circumstances beyond his control, and not inherent personality traits & values that he possesses.
Similar values are critical. What she described with her ex was clearly a massive clash of values. Some women, like my BFF, would be happy supporting their H while he worked PT to pursue his (impractical) dreams... I am not one of them. Call me old-fashioned, but if anyone will be working PT (or not working) then I want it to be me so that I can be with our children. [Not to say I''m opposed to SAHD for others]. I would support SO temporarily if he were pursuing something practical such as more schooling, however - just not what VG was describing.
It''s not the money that matters so much as the ambition and desire to provide. My SO has both and I am thankful because frankly, I would not be happy with a partner who was 100% fulfilled working at a video store part-time while I busted my butt in a professional 9-5 job. That isn''t compatible with how I was raised, what I was taught to value and the kind of lifestyle I want to lead. I have 2 degrees and I want someone equally ambitious (though, my SO has less schooling than me and that''s fine).
I want a man who makes it a priority to ensure our family will have a comfortable lifestyle where we don''t have to worry about money all of the time. Even if things don''t pan out that way, the fact that he at least WANTS that and is striving to make that happen is important to me.
And if, god forbid, anything ever happened to SO that made me the breadwinner of COURSE I would stick by him. That would be the result of circumstances beyond his control, and not inherent personality traits & values that he possesses.