What do you think of push presents?

[kenny]

The mum still has to push quite a bit to help the doctor get it out, though!

So we'd call it a push-pull present.

 

[Roselina]

that implies that mothers who give birth via c-section don't deserve this present because they didn't "push". So what is the gift for? Pushing? I think the whole concept of this type of present is offensive to women. I'll just leave it at that.

That reminds me of a story… my friend adopted a baby after years and years of trying to have one, endless visits to the doctors, many tears… at the same time the wife of her husband’s brother had a baby too. For some reason she had to have a C-section. Her mother in law (and my friends mother in law) presented her with a extremely beautiful ring that once belonged to the grandmother because she felt bad for her that she could not give birth „naturally“. She then went to my friend and told her, that the other was so happy about this gift… ah, thanks… not so nice. My friend was rather crushed - not because she didn’t get a present, but because she felt that having a baby through adoption somehow meant „less“. That was sad. And yes. That term is stupid!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

that implies that mothers who give birth via c-section don't deserve this present because they didn't "push". So what is the gift for? Pushing? I think the whole concept of this type of present is offensive to women. I'll just leave it at that.

I do beleave vulgar is the world you are looking for Dear Missy

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

That reminds me of a story… my friend adopted a baby after years and years of trying to have one, endless visits to the doctors, many tears… at the same time the wife of her husband’s brother had a baby too. For some reason she had to have a C-section. Her mother in law (and my friends mother in law) presented her with a extremely beautiful ring that once belonged to the grandmother because she felt bad for her that she could not give birth „naturally“. She then went to my friend and told her, that the other was so happy about this gift… ah, thanks… not so nice. My friend was rather crushed - not because she didn’t get a present, but because she felt that having a baby through adoption somehow meant „less“. That was sad. And yes. That term is stupid!

People - especially family, can be so cruel

 

[Jambalaya]

If you don't like the term "push present," what about the phrase "too posh to push"?

I believe this one originated with Victoria Beckham, aka "Posh Spice," who chose to have C-sections with all four of her children. I think it refers to people who simply have a preference for a C-section, NOT to people who need one for medical reasons.

 

[Ionysis]

If you don't like the term "push present," what about the phrase "too posh to push"?

I believe this one originated with Victoria Beckham, aka "Posh Spice," who chose to have C-sections with all four of her children. I think it refers to people who simply have a preference for a C-section, NOT to people who need one for medical reasons.

Don’t get me started!

I had two elective c sections and the easiest pain free experience you could imagine.

If I was going to have a tooth out I wouldn’t say “oh don’t give me pain medication or the latest surgical techniques. Just pull it out with pliers”.

I think any woman should have the birth experience of her choice but for me I could t logically fathom why I would want anything other than an efficiently planned, pain controlled experience which had the highest probability of avoiding unexpected adverse events. And kept my much loved vagina in one piece!!!

 

[Ally T]

I am in the UK & think the term is completely vulgar. I also saw a post the other day (elsewhere) showing off a piece of jewellery from an American acquaintance that said "My baby daddy did good". I could have actually vomited at that phrase, if I'm honest.

If a man chooses to buy a gift to commemorate the birth of a child, then that's absolutely lovely. I had a surprise gift on both births (emergency C-secrions both times, the second under general anaesthetic & my heart stopped twice) but they were never 'push presents' or any terms like that. The first section was only mildly stressful & about 2 weeks later, Mr T surprised me with an unheated pink sapphire solitaire ring in platinum with our daughters name & DOB engraved inside. It's a 1ct oval, so pretty small, but to me it's a treasure. The second failed labour was FAR more traumatic & I was in hospital for 11 days after surgery. The day after daughter 2 was born however, Mr T rocked up with my full eternity & wedged it on my swollen finger. I had 92 stitches & was delirious (section scar 1 ruptured during labour, so that had to be fixed before a new incision was made to deliver baby, during which I was cut from hip to hip) as he had planned to seal our family with that handmade ring he had poured SO much happy thought into with the jeweller behind my back, as I was advised to have no more than 2 babies due to a medical issue.

For my husband, the first ring was a celebration of our daughter & the second ring was a full stop on the baby train.

Push present? No. Commemorative gift, absolutely. And when my girls are old enough, I shall pass them their respective rings & hope they treasure them as much as I do.

 

[MollyMalone]

I think my feelings about "push presents" are colored by my deep distaste for that crude term, but to me, it conveys the view that I'm valued for my reproductive capability, being a broodmare... and honestly, that doesn't sit well with me.

 

[Jambalaya]

^Ah, I don't see it that way. I just think it's a nice commemorative and /or appreciative gift.

 

[Lookinagain]

I think my feelings about "push presents" are colored by my deep distaste for that crude term, but to me, it conveys the view that I'm valued for my reproductive capability, being a broodmare... and honestly, that doesn't sit well with me.

This. Exactly. Or that somehow the female is giving the male a "present" of a child or an heir, so she gets something back. To me it really diminishes women which I think i said above and said I'd shut up, but I didn't. But now I will.

 

[Jambalaya]

^^Well, talking of being made to feel like a broodmare, I felt like that for years after I got engaged and married. The pressure to reproduce was absolutely crushing. Many women experience this. I should have got a diamond just for resisting all that pressure! Y'know, because diamonds are formed by huge crushing pressures. Point is, you certainly don't have to be given a push present to be made to feel like a broodmare. Far from it. I was treated like one anyway, with or without a push present, so I might as well have taken the present (if I'd been in a position to get one)!

Women put up with so much crap in their lives in so many ways that I think we should get as many blingy gifts as we can get our hands on!

 

[Jambalaya]

I wonder what the opposite of a push present is? I think I should get a present for NOT pushing and therefore helping to save the planet!