Were There Times in Your Life When You Felt Beautiful?

[Jambalaya]

When I moved to Ireland in my twenties, all of a sudden my midwestern all-American girl looks suddenly jumped up a couple points on the attractiveness scale.

I love that! LOL!

It's a big compliement, too, because many Irish people are absolutely gorgeous, in my experience!

 

[doberman]

That doesn't sound so fun! What happened?? I'd have thought being a beauty would be fun. And, can we see a picture of you in your glory days? I hope you made some money on the side as a model! I'd have tried, in your shoes. Better than waitressing!

Maybe there's something in here that you can relate to. I thought it was an interesting read about what it's like to go through life as a really beautiful woman. Did you have the same experiences as the writer with other women, when you were younger?

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/what-its-like-to-be-a-really-beautiful-woman.html

Lol. Are you a model? Can I tell you how many times I heard that? Or "Aren't you somebody". Yes, I'm Greta Garbo, I vant to be alone. So go! But I wasn't tall, so modeling was out, and it wasn't something that interested me.

So, strange things:

I was approached on the street in NYC. A car literally drove up on the sidewalk so the guy could hand me a card which was a pass to an audition for a reality show. Apparently they were cruising around looking for people with a certain look for the show. This was not fly by night, it was legit and had two big names attached to it. "You'd be really great for this part" the guy said.

I will say with the article that I call bs on a woman who said she's been tortured by other women because she's too beautiful. Chances are she's not got as lovely an inside as an out. Sure some women can be mean, but you have to outthink them, not cry in your tea

But I had to work at trying to brush things off. When you're in your first days at school, having never been away from home before and some weird guy you just met at a party the night before kneels down in front of you (and your whole dorm floor) and says that he just wants to kiss the hand of the most beautiful freshman girl, this is not fun. I dearly wished the floor to open up and swallow me because the looks I was getting from the other girls were not nice.

When you're on a business trip and meet a girlfriend for dinner and are happily relaxing, some guy walks over and says his friend is getting married that weekend, and he'd like to pay 2k for your company. It's 1984, and 2k is a lotta money, but all you can think is wtf did I do to deserve this, I was just eating. Since this is PS, the creepy solicitor told me that he was a jeweler and his friend bought his fiance's 5ct diamond ring from him.

I could tell so many stories. So many stories. But I'm old now and I strive for cool and laid back. I'm around 55 or 56 in this photo, but I like it because it's how I see myself, if that makes sense.

 

[Cerulean]

Yes! I lost a ton of weight very rapidly after being extremely overweight

I dropped 8 sizes in what felt like overnight. I’ve been told I have a pretty face, I think I do too, but never had a body to match

But then I felt like a knockout for the first time, and honestly the shift in attention towards me was extremely dramatic.

I’m very tall and command attention anyways, but when I lost weight all of a sudden people who never gave me a second glance pandered to me.

It felt powerful, but was actually uncomfortable in many ways, and I didn’t know how to manage all of the attention. Women were less friendly towards me, and men much more attentive. It was a roller coaster!

I’ve kept most of the weight off. I’ve regained a little so instead of being thin, I’m average. Attention has died down a bit and I feel way more “me” which is the best of all.

 

[Jambalaya]

Doberman, being asked to provide "company" for 2k when you're just relaxing over dinner with a friend sounds horrible! I think I might have lost my temper, in your shoes. I mean, how dare they??

Why didn't you do the show?? It sounds GREAT!

And yes, you are very beautiful! ETA: And early to mid thirties, not mid fifties!

 

[Jambalaya]

Cerulean - it's a pity that people are so reactive to looks, isn't it?

Personally, I think it's off-color for people to comment on others' weight loss unless it's someone close. For all they know, the other person is battling health issues, like cancer treatment! And it's just generally disrespectful. I'm in the process of losing weight, and if I succeed, I do not look forward to those comments. I don't want attention drawn to how I looked before. Anyway, I've got about 100 pounds to go before that's an issue, lol!

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have felt beautiful most of my life, more so in the latter half 24-48 because I went through the typical awkward teens and insecure early adulthood. As I matured, and “came into my own” my confidence grew and it reflected on the outside as well. However, to this day I would rather receive compliments on my inner beauty or accomplishments than my looks.

 

[Jambalaya]

However, to this day I would rather receive compliments on my inner beauty or accomplishments than my looks

Oh, x a million! For SURE! I would, too. And women are too often subject to observations about their looks. "Have you lost weight? Your hair's different. I like you in a skirt. I don't think those jeans are flattering on you. Wow, you have a big collection of scarves." On and on and on.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Ladies, please post some pics of you in swimsuits ...

 

[missy]

I thought it was an interesting read about what it's like to go through life as a really beautiful woman.

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/what-its-like-to-be-a-really-beautiful-woman.html

I think there are always going to be petty/small minded people who will dislike others for superficial reasons.

But if the woman in this article never found people who could accept her for her and not judge her by her appearance I have to wonder why.

It's like being super smart or very talented in a specific area. It is just one part of who you are. But who someone really is has nothing to do with their appearance. It's who you are as a person and how you treat others. It is about the content of your character and your values.

The problem with getting one's self worth from their appearance is if we are lucky we all get old and looks do fade. What happens to one's self worth then?

Personally I know many beautiful women and they have good friends and a good life. This is but one woman's experience and I have to wonder why her experience is what it is. Something isn't adding up. IMO. I do have compassion for her but I do not think we are getting the entire story.

 

[Cerulean]

Cerulean - it's a pity that people are so reactive to looks, isn't it?

Personally, I think it's off-color for people to comment on others' weight loss unless it's someone close. For all they know, the other person is battling health issues, like cancer treatment! And it's just generally disrespectful. I'm in the process of losing weight, and if I succeed, I do not look forward to those comments. I don't want attention drawn to how I looked before. Anyway, I've got about 100 pounds to go before that's an issue, lol!

Yes totally agree! I’m rooting for you on your journey! Overall the health benefits outweigh any of the changes to looks!

 

[doberman]

Ladies, please post some pics of you in swimsuits ...

 

[Jambalaya]

And yes, you are very beautiful! ETA: And early to mid thirties, not mid fifties!

Doberman - I've just re-read this and realized that it sounds as if I was saying that you're lying about your age. I meant to write that you LOOK as if you're in your early to mid thirties, not mid fifties!

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Last night I was debating whether I should post the other time I felt beautiful, which involved a raincoat> I have decided to forgo that pleasure and say the following.

One of the nicest things for me to watch is little girls who have a new outfit on, or are playing dress-up and put lipstick on, and just beam out-- I know I look beautiful. When I see that look, and many little girls have it, I tell them they look beautiful. They smile back and I have made them and myself happy.

Annette

 

[doberman]

When I moved to Ireland in my twenties, all of a sudden my midwestern all-American girl looks suddenly jumped up a couple points on the attractiveness scale. It was really odd, and for the first few weeks I felt out of place and that I must have spilled something on myself since so many men were staring at me. I didn't like it, and am much happier here at home blending in at casually pretty lol.

Hey, be nice to the Irish lol, says she who is 3/4+ Celt Anglo. My husband thought the Irish were nice looking. I know that they couldn't have been nicer or friendlier people. My problem with the Irish is their spelling. I was in the Cork station....spelled Cobh. Seriously? Are the Irish on a secret mission to drive us crazy?

So there I was in the Cork spelled Cobh subway statiin waiting for a train with my husband,, and a man a bit younger than I am asked if I was Irish. I said I was half, and from County Cork area. "Ah, all the best ones leave" he said. That was a nice moment.

 

[nala]

I just realized that there was a period in my life in which I got all kinds of attention from men. I’m not kidding. It was right after my divorce and at the time, I must have welcomed it. Funny. 17 years later and I guess that I didn’t internalize the attention, the grand gestures they made, etc. It was kind of crazy, now that I think about it. I had a man whom I met at my friend’s office and said hello to once—find my address, knock on my door and serenade me. He freaked me out! Then I met one man in Cancun, a chef from Chicago, who flew down for my birthday to cook for my big 3…O.. I was so naive at the time that I didn’t realize that he wanted more than friendship. I had spent 10 years married to my high school sweetheart and had no clue about dating. I have quite a few stories about that summer ( and only summer bc in the fall I met my hubby). In retrospect, that must have been my hot girl summer . I guess that I don’t dwell on those memories tho, lol.

All this to say that when I first responded to this question—I focused on the term “felt” and I realize that others’ reactions to me did nothing to help me feel beautiful or internalize that feeling. Interesting. I could go back and recall how many times I was berated for not being pretty by my family, but I didn’t internalize that either bc I have never felt ugly either. I realize that I’ve always felt average and maybe that’s a good thing because there’s always someone more beautiful out there—so there’s no sense in perceiving yourself as Ms. Universe.

 

[CoffeeAndDiamonds]

Hey, be nice to the Irish lol, says she who is 3/4+ Celt Anglo. My husband thought the Irish were nice looking. I know that they couldn't have been nicer or friendlier people. My problem with the Irish is their spelling. I was in the Cork station....spelled Cobh. Seriously? Are the Irish on a secret mission to drive us crazy?

So there I was in the Cork spelled Cobh subway statiin waiting for a train with my husband,, and a man a bit younger than I am asked if I was Irish. I said I was half, and from County Cork area. "Ah, all the best ones leave" he said. That was a nice moment.

Ah please don't misunderstand - I love Ireland so much I moved there... twice! Unfortunately the weather really doesn't agree with me. My husband and I were planning to buy a house there after we moved (second time), actually went sale agreed on a home in Dalkey before realizing I really need more sun on a regular basis. I think the people are absolutely lovely, and we still have many friends there

 

[Jambalaya]

I just realized that there was a period in my life in which I got all kinds of attention from men..the grand gestures they made, etc. It was kind of crazy, now that I think about it. I had a man...serenade me. Then I met one man in Cancun, a chef from Chicago, who flew down for my birthday to cook for my big 3…O..

In the immortal words from When Harry Met Sally, "I'll have what she's having." Lol! Can you bottle whatever you have, nala, and ship me some? I would like chefs cooking for me and bottles of champagne, and flight upgrade, too! (Got to get on a flight first!)

As for your family berating you for not being pretty.....WHAT?!

 

[nala]

In the immortal words from When Harry Met Sally, "I'll have what she's having." Lol! Can you bottle whatever you have, nala, and ship me some? I would like chefs cooking for me and bottles of champagne, and flight upgrade, too! (Got to get on a flight first!)

As for your family berating you for not being pretty.....WHAT?!

Hahaha! Must have been the recently divorced glow or vibes I was emitting! Seriously. I am nothing special. But how people react to others is more of a reflection of them? Don’t you think? Like chemistry?
My family has always looked down on me bc of colorism. Like they typical Latino family, there is every shade of brown and they prefer the less brown which they perceive as white and pale skin. Yup. But that’s a topic for another thread.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

For me, it was when I finally cut OFF my hair. I always had long hair and wanted short hair. SHORT. My Mom would never let me, my DH always said he preferred long. One day I didn't care anymore and cut it ALL off. My Mom loved it, DH is obsessed. It's been a few years now and I'm never going back to long hair!

 

[doberman]

Ah please don't misunderstand - I love Ireland so much I moved there... twice! Unfortunately the weather really doesn't agree with me. My husband and I were planning to buy a house there after we moved (second time), actually went sale agreed on a home in Dalkey before realizing I really need more sun on a regular basis. I think the people are absolutely lovely, and we still have many friends there

I'm with you on needing more sun than Ireland gets. Good for the skin, tough on the soul!

 

[LLJsmom]

When I was 22-30, right before I had kids, and then nursed them both for a year each. I was done after that.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

It's going to sound stupid, but I renewed my license when I was 27....and now at 43 I still have the same picture on my license. Each time they'd just look at it and then look at me shrugged and said, "You look pretty much the same, do you want a new picture?" and I'm not going to say yes to a new picture. The funny thing is that I'm a bit fatter and older and it shows, trust me. Of course I'm gonna take the no double chin starting pic of my heyday. I think maybe it's a case of the DMV doing me a kindness. But it made me feel beautiful. Totally cheating in a 2x2 pic, but beautiful!
I know it's not going to be happening next time. Next time, it would be even more ridiculous than it is now.
This is me when I was in my mid twenties- it's not a great quality picture but I actually don't really take pictures. So I don't have many. I don't like them. It's super embarrassing to me to even put this one up.
Now just picture me fatter. And middle aged.
I wasn't causing accidents or anything ridiculous, but I got along okay.

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

That doesn't sound so fun! What happened?? I'd have thought being a beauty would be fun. And, can we see a picture of you in your glory days? I hope you made some money on the side as a model! I'd have tried, in your shoes. Better than waitressing!

Maybe there's something in here that you can relate to. I thought it was an interesting read about what it's like to go through life as a really beautiful woman. Did you have the same experiences as the writer with other women, when you were younger?

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/what-its-like-to-be-a-really-beautiful-woman.html

Well, you weren’t addressing me and I’m about to sound like a total puke, but here we go.

This article is obnoxious (to me). I’m quite classically beautiful (we are on the Internet so I will forgo false humility). Professionally modeled, break necks on the street, got jobs I was probably underqualified for, all that jazz. And in some of those jobs, I had coworkers (and superiors!) who actively tried to sabatoge me, for reasons that almost certainly had to do with looks and, frankly, their own baggage. I’m often mistaken for aloof (or a moron) when I’m really just shy or tired. Please enjoy the musical stylings of this tiny violin. My diamond shoes are also too tight.

Anyway, back to the point. I do not identify with this writer at all. This sounds like a personal problem, and frankly quite paranoid. Anyone who says they can’t get along with ANY AND ALL WOMEN is...idk, questionable to me. Really, half of humanity despises you? Because of your cheekbones? I do think some women (and men) can treat pretty women poorly, for myriad (bad) reasons. But lord, just make a self effacing joke, get a little folksy, or, ya know, have an EQ greater than a manatee’s and you’ll win ‘em over right quick.

 

[missy]

Well, you weren’t addressing me and I’m about to sound like a total puke, but here we go.

This article is obnoxious (to me). I’m quite classically beautiful (we are on the Internet so I will forgo false humility). Professionally modeled, break necks on the street, got jobs I was probably underqualified for, all that jazz. And in some of those jobs, I had coworkers (and superiors!) who actively tried to sabatoge me, for reasons that almost certainly had to do with looks and, frankly, their own baggage. I’m often mistaken for aloof (or a moron) when I’m really just shy or tired. Please enjoy the musical stylings of this tiny violin. My diamond shoes are also too tight.

Anyway, back to the point. I do not identify with this writer at all. This sounds like a personal problem, and frankly quite paranoid. Anyone who says they can’t get along with ANY AND ALL WOMEN is...idk, questionable to me. Really, half of humanity despises you? Because of your cheekbones? I do think some women (and men) can treat pretty women poorly, for myriad (bad) reasons. But lord, just make a self effacing joke, get a little folksy, or, ya know, have an EQ greater than a manatee’s and you’ll win ‘em over right quick.

I would just like to love this post.

Thank you for sharing and making the point I was trying to make. Definitely something else going on here.

 

[diamondringlover]

no I have never felt pretty...

 

[stracci2000]

I have a friend who is a truly beautiful woman.
I think it has been hard for her. She has two divorces and one broken engagement under her belt.
Men fawn over her, and I know she hates it.
I have seen men paw at her and ply her with drinks.
She is 60 but looks 40. Now single, she does not date and is happier for it.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I have 3 sister-in-laws (husband’s sisters) that I had difficult relationships with in the past. My husband and I attributed their jealousy over my looks. 2 of them lived with my father-in-law and resented seeing my pictures all over “their house” because my father-in-law was very proud of his only son and attractive wife, and had our pictures displayed everywhere in HIS house. One SIL was married and said that her husband was not to look at me or acknowledge me when we went to visit my FIL! This was so ridiculous and I used to be so sad and distraught over this. The SIL’s have removed and hidden my pictures from my FIL. It took years to win them over, and they realized I wasn’t “out to get their husband” or take their Dad’s love from them! My other SIL that didn’t live with them also fought frequently and publicly with her dh if he chatted with me at family gatherings and events. I’m not joking when I say that they men in the family were not allowed to talk to me!

I finally won them over about 10 years into our marriage. After hosting countless family gatherings, and being treated like dirt at my own house. All is well now that I have been in the family for 20 years and still happily married to their BROTHER!

edited: just realized this was posted in the wrong thread, supposed to go in the “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” thread.

 

[monarch64]

Ladies, please post some pics of you in swimsuits ...

 

[ZestfullyBling]

in My 20’s and 30’s I did used to model and perform (singer/songwriter/producer). I felt like I was not so shabby at that point in my life.

you know some days I feel absolutely gorgeous and other days I don’t. I am extremely insecure. So much so when people make notice of my looks I get extremely defensive. shucks DH and I were a blind date and spoke on the phone daily for almost 4 months before we actually met.

now I’m two years shy of 50, 30 years happily married with a 24 yr old son, and lovely nieces and nephews...and not so insecure as i get older I soak up the attention like a sponge.




one of my random aspiring to be like Tyra bank moments






and me and DH

 

[jaysonsmom]

Never modeled professionally, but in college,I was asked to be in a music video taped in a club, and a hair model for a salon and the face of some company brochures in my mid-twenties. Here is a incognito selfie of mine in my mid 40s. I’m now 48…