Wedding called off...

[loriken214]

Just checking on you and sending positive thoughts your way....my heart is with you and I wish you lived close by...I''d take you out on the town!

Lori

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Whoa...I am just so sorry.

::shaking my head::...I know this probably isn''t the right time to say this, but girl, you didn''t need that. He''s a schmuck and better you know today than 3 years from now with a baby on your hip. As they say, good riddance to bad rubbish.

Now...did you kick his parents out? Because NO WAY should they be in your home after what they son pulled.

 

[february2003bride]

Beadchick- I am SO sorry! First, (((huge hugs))). There is a blog (that I don''t think I''m allowed to link too) called Colorblind Cupid. Someday, go to it and read through it. You are so not alone in what you went through and reading through the blog may even be theraputic.

Keep the ring as he gifted it to YOU. You get to decide what you want to do with it.

I know it''s been posted before but, it would have gotten worse after the wedding with the inlaws and yes it is better that this came out before the wedidng and not after. I am so so sorry.

 

[princesss]

Hey hon, just checking to see how you''re feeling today.

When you hit the anger stage (at either of them) there''s a country song that''s just come out that''s kind of controversial but is perfect for situations like this. I''m not going to post the lyrics, but it''s called "I''ll Pray for You". I know country isn''t for everybody, but it''s the perfect funny, angry song for when you just kind of want to hit something/somebody. (Anger issues? Me? Never....

)

 

[dragonfly411]

Princess - I hate that song lol. I thought White Liar as well though....

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/24/2010 10:58:08 AM
Author: dragonfly411
Princess - I hate that song lol. I thought White Liar as well though....

So do I, DF! But I've got to tell you, I wish that song had been out when I was going through some BS with my ex. It would have suited my mood perfectly!

ETA: OMG, I meant to put this in Parsley's LIW thread! No here. Dang it. Doesn't fit this situation nearly as well. Or, you know...at all.

Sorry, beadchick!

 

[TooPatient]

BeadChick--
I''m so sorry to hear this.
Take care of yourself.



ETA: Take a look at Kiss This by Aaron Tippin.

 

[beadchick]

Thank you ALL so much for the supportive and encouraging words. I feel so fortunate to have so much encouragement from people in my life and on PS. I know the situation is for the best, but its still just such a shock. You have to go from "I''m in love w/ an amazing man and I''m going to marry him," to "wait, what the hell is going on?," to "WTF?????," and "OMG, he isn''t the guy I thought he was. How the heck did I let this happen to me?" But, love is blind and I guess we all make compromises for the guys we love, or think we love, or think love us.

We had an anti-wedding this weekend. (probably not the forum to post this in, but there it is.) A lot of people planned to come in from out of town anyway, so we just had everyone over to the condo (we being my mom and I). You end up feeling super-guilty over all the money that got spent: by your family, your friends, non-refundable plane tickets. And, I have yet to feel interested in doing much of anything other than sleeping and watching tv. I feel guilty b/c I can tolerate people for about 2 hours, but then I want to run home and be alone.

I still can''t believe this happened to me. I mean, I wouldn''t want this to happen to anyone, but now I''m one of those creepy girls w/ a wedding dress and no groom (did I say that before?). And I''m far enough out from the event that I can''t get as fired up as I have been days before. Its so weird, I''m not as upset as I thought I would still be. Maybe I''m in shock? I keep wondering what will happen when my mom leaves and goes back to Florida. Am I going to go nuts? Maybe you''ve only got an allotted amount of tears for one relationship? I wish he would resolve this, and give me an explanation, but then I remind myself that he probably doesn''t see why what he did was wrong.

So, I''m surviving. I''m more than surviving, but, am I going to decompensate or am I going to be okay? I guess that''s what I''m wondering right now...

 

[choro72]

*hugs* Beadchick. I'm glad you have a wonderful circle of friends and family. I can't imagine the pain you are going through right now. Do you have close friends once your mom leaves? Will she be able to stay longer if you need her?

 

[beadchick]

No, choro, she''s got to go back to work. But, I do have a lot of family in the area, and I have several good friends. If worse comes to worse, one has a spare bedroom and she''d be happy to have me stay w/ her for a while.

The other thing I forgot to mention, and this makes me SOOO angry: the dog has spent the whole day in the dining room, lying on the rug and staring at the wall where his desk used to be. I am SO mad at him over that. I feel so awful for her. Its not like she understands, "Baby, daddy''s a jerk. He isn''t coming home."

 

[Prana]

Oh Beadchick! You didn''t tell us that there were ''children'' involved!

That just speaks VOLUMES on his character....that he could not only walk away from you so abruptly, without a second look back over his shoulder, but also something else that he ''supposedly'' loved, your dog!

Your poor puppy must be so confused. But it sounds like you are pulling through this with such a level head and so much grace. Keep your spirits up, even though this whole situation is just a nightmare! You are amaziing! And so is your dog!

 

[katamari]

Wow, beadchick, my heart really goes out to you. I really think you are handing it the beautifully, considering. Please do not feel any guilt. Your friends and family were happy to be able to support you, and I am sure they feel the travel was worth it. I know I would. So many (((((hugs))))) to you while you are dealing with this.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 5/21/2010 10:35:26 AM
Author: decodelighted
The man is a child. He''s only comfortable in the ''child'' role. While you were together -- you were the parent. Coaching about his finances ... coaxing him into doing things he didn''t want or didn''t know how to do himself. Then his parents arrive. They trump you. They''ve parented him for longer + all the cultural stuff attached to his view of his parents. You couldn''t REALLY REALLY ''see'' him until you saw him with his parents. That''s the truth of who he is. Would you have WANTED to marry that? That him? I''m guessing the answer is ''no'' - which is why you''re not falling apart, work or not.


Of course it hurts. Of course its a traumatic change and the dismantling of a lot of hopes and dreams for that particular relationship. The GOOD news is that you actually have a much better chance to live the life you WANT now that he''s out of the picture. He wasn''t the man you wished he was. He was still a child in a man''s body.


**hugs***

I love this answer - I think you got it completely right Deco.
I can''t believe your story beadchick - my mouth was actually hanging agape by the end of your post and that NEVER happens. I''m glad that you found this out now rather than after a wedding, but I''m sorry that your life has changed so dramatically in only a few weeks..

 

[S&I]

Beadchick, I''m so sorry! I don''t really have much else to offer that the other find people here haven''t already said, but I just wanted to say that it sounds like this is all for the best. Yes, it may suck now, but it could be worse - like others have said, better now than 3-5 years from now with (human) kids.

When you do get mad, just remember that you have the entire PS community here to listen to you rant about him and/or his parents!

HUGS!!!