Wanting but Waiting...

[Haven]

That's very exciting, NEL! I can't wait to hear good news from you two!

And, I like the image of your husband failing to take out the garbage, but with grace.

I can't believe he started college at 14, that's really remarkable. I teach gifted kids on Saturdays, and so many of my students tie their identity and sense of accomplishment to their academic achievements. Gifted ed has a special place in my heart, and I love working with them, but there are so many complexities that come with what I like to call the burden of giftedness. (We also call our Saturday program "Social skills for the gifted"! It really is a great way for these kids to socialize and become comfortable interacting with other children. They're amazing, I had two boys who developed a real language together in an inventions class, once. It was a REAL language, it had productivity, displacement, everything. Amazing.) Anyway, sorry, I could talk about this stuff forever. I teach gifted and developmental students, so you could say they fall on both ends of the learning spectrum, but their needs are SO similar, and I love helping all of them succeed. It sounds like your husband is very gifted.

Back to the topic of this thread: I met my best friend's baby last night. He's amazing. I love him already.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Yes, I promise not to threadjack anymore! But Haven, I think what you're doing is so important--focusing on the social skills of your gifted ed students. I honestly feel that if there had been more focus on D's social skills when he was younger, his anxiety/OCD wouldn't have been so difficult to overcome as an adult. Your students are lucky!

Aww, so sweet that you got to meet your best friend's baby! Hanging out with my friends and their babies is like crack for me. Seriously, watching them grow in their first years is truly amazing. I hope your friend is doing well!

 

[Haven]

I had a dream that I was pregnant. First, they were fraternal twins (they run in our family, every generation has a couple sets and we are a SMALL family) and THEN each fraternal twin split into a set of identical twins, so I was pregnant with QUADS! Deity-of-your-choice help me, I cannot handle multiples.

That dream scared me back into the almost-ready-but-not-quite closet. I have this fear that we're going to have a litter of children all at once. The twins run in the family, and my lady doctor always teases me at my annual by saying "You know Lori, the older you are when you get pregnant, and the TALLER you are, the higher the chances that you'll have multiples, especially if they run in the family." He knows my heathen twin cousins, so he thinks he's funny, but it is not funny! I'm 5'10", that's considered tall, right? We're doomed. DH is short, does that help? He's old though. AAAAAAAAAAH!

Just thought I'd share my neuroses with this thread. I know the odds of having multiples are low, but my family is dripping with fraternal twins and it's always been something that scared the heck out of me.

 

[MuffDog]

I had a dream that I was pregnant. First, they were fraternal twins (they run in our family, every generation has a couple sets and we are a SMALL family) and THEN each fraternal twin split into a set of identical twins, so I was pregnant with QUADS! Deity-of-your-choice help me, I cannot handle multiples.

That dream scared me back into the almost-ready-but-not-quite closet. I have this fear that we're going to have a litter of children all at once. The twins run in the family, and my lady doctor always teases me at my annual by saying "You know Lori, the older you are when you get pregnant, and the TALLER you are, the higher the chances that you'll have multiples, especially if they run in the family." He knows my heathen twin cousins, so he thinks he's funny, but it is not funny! I'm 5'10", that's considered tall, right? We're doomed. DH is short, does that help? He's old though. AAAAAAAAAAH!

Just thought I'd share my neuroses with this thread. I know the odds of having multiples are low, but my family is dripping with fraternal twins and it's always been something that scared the heck out of me.

Haven that is hilarious. Don't let a dream mess with you. It is probably just your subconcious freaking out about the big change in attitude. I think the fear of "am I really ready for this" stays with every woman even when they know they ARE ready. You know what I mean?

For eons I've thought I might be a childfree kind of girl. Not because I don't like kids (well, maybe that is part of it haha) but because I can't see myself changing my lifestyle and putting my relationship to such an insane test for kids. However, over the past year I've changed my tune and am in the "wanting but waiting" boat, and STILL freak out about what this really means.

I had a dream last night that my mom bought me an IPAD, but that ain't gonna happen, just like your QUADS.

 

[megumic]

Haven I think dreams like that are great to help us process what may be a reality and yes -- the dreams are usually fears that we have! I totally believe you could handle multiples if it did happen -- you would be so grateful and you'd rock the multiple-mommyness! What's funny is, I would love love love to have multiples! We don't have them in our family, but it would be a dream come true. (Is that weird??)

 

[Haven]

I had a dream last night that my mom bought me an IPAD, but that ain't gonna happen, just like your QUADS.

AHAHAHAHAHA! This line has me laughing out loud! You're right, I know you're right.

megumic--I actually wouldn't mind having twins, but I'd be lying if I didn't say spending time with my twin cousins scared the hell out of me. They're wild women. I don't think I could handle quads, though--that is a lot of children all at once!

 

[mayachel]

I have an update! I've been totally MIA from pricescope these past few months as I'm in the final countdown of my residency and have been busy staying up all night too many nights, and catching lots of babies. Over the past two months, I turned that magic 30 number many of you have commented on. And I spent it with my dearest friend who has a one year old. This set off lots of fabulous conversations with the hubby about TTC and being a family with a kid, from the serious to the silly. We decided that end of April, early May would be a good time to start trying. Yeah, well I just went back and read my post from Feb on here. The one where I emphasized folic acid and prenatals? I should have taken my own advice!

I got the shock of my life today, when scoffingly I took a pregnancy test, just to prove to myself that it was just my crazy schedule making my (often irregular) period late. And it came up +! Since I'm pretty sure I'm exactly 5 weeks along, right around the time the neural tube is supposed to close, I am kicking myself for not taking the time to pick up the folic acid. AND still sitting here dumbfounded. My DH is at work all day today, so I haven't told him yet. I am very excited, but a little bit stressed since I still have a giant exit exam to get through in the next 3 weeks. Luckily a week ago I contacted the midwife I wanted to start using for my well woman care. I expect to call her on Monday and tell her I need to change it to prenatal care

 

[Haven]

I have an update! I've been totally MIA from pricescope these past few months as I'm in the final countdown of my residency and have been busy staying up all night too many nights, and catching lots of babies. Over the past two months, I turned that magic 30 number many of you have commented on. And I spent it with my dearest friend who has a one year old. This set off lots of fabulous conversations with the hubby about TTC and being a family with a kid, from the serious to the silly. We decided that end of April, early May would be a good time to start trying. Yeah, well I just went back and read my post from Feb on here. The one where I emphasized folic acid and prenatals? I should have taken my own advice!

I got the shock of my life today, when scoffingly I took a pregnancy test, just to prove to myself that it was just my crazy schedule making my (often irregular) period late. And it came up +! Since I'm pretty sure I'm exactly 5 weeks along, right around the time the neural tube is supposed to close, I am kicking myself for not taking the time to pick up the folic acid. AND still sitting here dumbfounded. My DH is at work all day today, so I haven't told him yet. I am very excited, but a little bit stressed since I still have a giant exit exam to get through in the next 3 weeks. Luckily a week ago I contacted the midwife I wanted to start using for my well woman care. I expect to call her on Monday and tell her I need to change it to prenatal care

OH MY GOODNESS! Wonderful news, mayachel! I wish you lots of good healthy pregnancy dust!!!!
I feel like it's so special that you came to share the news in this thread before you told your DH!
Looking forward to many exciting updates from you over the next year!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

CONGRATS!!!! That is so special and I hope that you are able to concentrate on the next few weeks (exams and whatnot) and fully enjoy a happy and healthy pregnancy!

 

[megumic]

Wooo hoooo! Congrats mayachel! So excited for you and your DH. What a surprise!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

MAYACHEL! Congrats, congrats, a thousand times over! Wishing you a happy, healthy, wonderful 9 months.

Let us know your DH's reaction, too I'm sure he's going to be thrilled!

 

[mayachel]

Thank you so much for sharing in our excitement! I did get to tell DH this morning, and he was so excited as well as all the normal anxiety I expected. In the first hour, he already worried about how we're paying for college, where we might move, what if we move during the pregnancy, what if something goes wrong with the pregnancy etc... I just assured him I had already had a full day to process the news and it was totally normal. He also as expected was "disappointed" we didn't get to try longer. He' so predictable, but in the best of ways.

I appreciate the dust! I expect to get myself in gear to participate fully here once again in about three weeks time. Tonight I am working at the hospital and contemplating talking someone into giving me an unofficial ultrasound if it's slow and the right person is on with me.

 

[Dandi]

WOWEE, congratulations mayachel!! How excting! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!!

I'm really enjoying reading this thread and realising that I'm not weird or completely out of the ordinary re. how I feel about starting a family! Thanks for all your honest posts ladies. I have my 'I'm ready' days and my 'ARGH! Not yet!' days too!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Oh my gosh, Mayachel, that is great news!! Yes, it's a surprise, but you were right on the cusp of TTC, anyway, so it isn't the kind of surprise that will completely uproot your life, you know? Your DH sounds like he's going right into "dad" mode, which is cute. I'm excited for you and wish you a happy and healthy 9 months!

 

[amc80]

I'm wanting but waiting...since we aren't getting married until November. But we are going to start trying immediately. We will both be 31 at that point and we want 3-4, so we need to get started. Not to mention I have 3 friends who have had 4 miscarriages between them in the past year. I don't anticipate any problems since I'm healthy and have never had any female issues...but none of them had either, so I guess you never know. It was sort of fun to tell my gyno that I may not be back in a year, since I'll have to switch to an OB/GYN.

 

[kittybean]

Mayachel--congrats, lady! What fun and exciting news! I'm so happy for you and your DH. It's so cute how he reacted to the news!

AFM, I had my first TTC convo with a real-life friend this past weekend. It was kind of surreal! I didn't mention what our timeline was (mostly because we don't really have one yet), but she was telling me she thought she might be pregnant around her 30th birthday, which is just over a year away. It sounded so very, very soon to me! Guess I should get used to the idea of my good friends having children--eek.

 

[blacksand]

Almost all of my friends and FI's friends have children, and they're already getting so big! It's a little sad, since I'd always hoped that my children and my friends' children would grow up together and be friends. but the age difference is going to be huge, so that's not likely! Oh, well.

The good[ish] news is that I talked to FI (in case you didn't see it elsewhere on the forum, we got engaged a few weeks ago) about my baby urges. He was more or less understanding. At least, he didn't run screaming, so I think that's good progress. I asked him point blank when he would want to start TTC. He answered that he'd be ready pretty much as soon as we got married! He even talked for a bit about baby names and whether or not pregnant women should eat peanut butter. Ha! He was actually into the conversation. Now, the bad news is our wedding is currently planned for December 2012. I'll be entering my second semester of student teaching in January 2013 (this is a planned career change; I hate my current job), and we'll be poor from just having had a wedding, so we probably wouldn't be able to start trying until that summer at the earliest. So it looks like Summer/Fall 2013 is our timeline. That seems incredibly far away, but I'm sure it will go by fast, especially once I get into wedding planning, start student teaching, etc. I am so incredibly relieved that FI is on board with this! I'll be 32 by then. No spring chicken, but not too old, either. I'm pretty happy with that.

 

[sctsbride09]

Hi Blacksand! Ive got a bit of a wait to TTC too. Our timeline is summer/fall 2012, Ill be 30 then. I think early 30s is a great time to have kiddos, old enough to have experienced lots of different things, but young enough to still chase a toddler! The time will fly by, just know your not alone in your wait. Somedays Im like "its KILLING me!!" and others, I just love having DH all to myself and enjoying the last of our kid free lifestyle. Congrats on your engagement by the way!!

Hi to everyone else!! And congrats to Mayachel!! That is so cute about your DH ie Daddy mode.

 

[sctsbride09]

Umm yeah. I also have to add a confession. I have completely stocked up on cloth diapers in nuetral colors. Can anyone else say WIERDO?! haha.

 

[mayachel]

Sctsbride-Stocking up on cloth diapers? NOT WEIRD AT ALL! I totally wanted to do this before TTC, 'cause I've watched my friends either outlay a ton of money buying new, or waiting and scrounging throughout transition stages for good condition used. I didn't get there-but I totally understand the desire. Now I'm planning on relying on their purchases and expertise! We've already discussed it in fact, down to the cloth wipes.

We had to suddenly purchase a new dryer on Sunday (the day DH first found out) and while we were in HD, he was all- Aww, you're happy cause you are thinking about how it's going to be drying the cloth diapers...it was true!

 

[suchende]

I am so happy to hear about the unexpected pregnancy, Mayachel! Life has a funny way of beating you to the punch, huh?

Talked to my curriculum advisor today about possibly planning around a 3L baby. She seemed to think it was a possibility, which I was happy to hear. Initially I thought I would have to be a visiting student at an NYC school, but as long as I don't burn through my allotted credits for externships and research papers before 3L, it should be possible to do an externship and a research paper that year.

A friend of BF and mine is due on Saturday and I went shopping for her today -- the little baby clothes were definitely giving me pangs. It also didn't help that I managed to get onsies for $1.50 each -- and they say babies are expensive!

BF and I have a bit of an ongoing dialogue about timing. He is less excited about the prospect of 3L baby right now than I am, but I have a feeling he'll be more excited about the possibility if/when he gets an offer after this summer. I think that would smooth over a lot of his provider anxiety.

 

[sctsbride09]

Mayachel- Im so glad someone understands! Makes me feel less strange. I dont know if you are ok with buying used cloth diapers, but the ones I bought (mostly) came from ebay, they have some really great deals. I also got a few from craigslist. I managed to build the whole stash (26 all in one-one size) for a bit under 300. I think its so cute that your DH is already in daddy mode, congrats mama! Hurray for a new dryer before baby comes too.

 

[Jen_91909]

I had a dream that I was pregnant. First, they were fraternal twins (they run in our family, every generation has a couple sets and we are a SMALL family) and THEN each fraternal twin split into a set of identical twins, so I was pregnant with QUADS! Deity-of-your-choice help me, I cannot handle multiples.

That dream scared me back into the almost-ready-but-not-quite closet. I have this fear that we're going to have a litter of children all at once. The twins run in the family, and my lady doctor always teases me at my annual by saying "You know Lori, the older you are when you get pregnant, and the TALLER you are, the higher the chances that you'll have multiples, especially if they run in the family." He knows my heathen twin cousins, so he thinks he's funny, but it is not funny! I'm 5'10", that's considered tall, right? We're doomed. DH is short, does that help? He's old though. AAAAAAAAAAH!

Just thought I'd share my neuroses with this thread. I know the odds of having multiples are low, but my family is dripping with fraternal twins and it's always been something that scared the heck out of me.

eek, Haven, I have the same concerns! I am a fraternal twin myself and we twins are a dime a dozen in my family! I'm terrified of having them myself! I'm 5'7 and age 30 by the way.... I knew the age thing came into play but never heard the height connection before...

 

[Haven]

Jen--You are in trouble, lady! A fraternal twin yourself? And you're tall? AND in your thirties? Watch out! I'm going to have quads, and you'll have quints!
Seriously, though, I think it would be a ton of fun yet terrifying all at the same time.
I'm still wavering on a daily basis--today I think all babies look like my grandfather, which kind of repulses me. Yesterday, I was pairing first names with our surname to see which sounds best. I'm definitely not quite ready, yet!

 

[MuffDog]

Congratulations to Mayachel!! That is super exciting!

I for one have stopped taking HBC - not because we are 'trying' but because I have finally had it with some of the side effects. I figure that if we are planning on starting down this road in late summer anyways, it isn't SO risky to be off the pill.

I know I have to wait a while to start feeling 'different' (if I will at all) but already I feel like there is a cloud that has been lifted off me.

This is my first pill free week (other than the usual week off) since I was 19 (I'm 31 now). That is crazy.

I'm also taking folic acid just in case

Haven - of topic - but HELLLLOOOO to your new ring! I've been out of the RT and SMTR sections of the site and was floored when I saw your new ring! Yowsas!

 

[katamari]

Congratulations, Mayachel!!

I am also officially off HBC (which I had been on longer than not, so freaky). By the nature of my job and the culture of department, I cannot just get KTFU any time, but DH and I have decided we will be trying every September, October, and November from here on out for a summer LO (and possibly in March/April for a December/January LO if that doesn't work).

I would love multiples. I was an only child and hated it. And, due to my age (all y'all get the heck out of here with your I'm 30 and gotta get moving noise ), having a second that we didn't adopt would be riskier. I would love to adopt; DH is less sold on it. Alas, I am short and there is only one set of twins in my family (due to fertility drugs, not genes), so it is unlikely. Haven, Jen perhaps I could take one of yours off your hands, Raising Arizona style.

 

[Jen_91909]

Jen--You are in trouble, lady! A fraternal twin yourself? And you're tall? AND in your thirties? Watch out! I'm going to have quads, and you'll have quints!
Seriously, though, I think it would be a ton of fun yet terrifying all at the same time.
I'm still wavering on a daily basis--today I think all babies look like my grandfather, which kind of repulses me. Yesterday, I was pairing first names with our surname to see which sounds best. I'm definitely not quite ready, yet!

To the bolded part - lol!

I am the same way with wavering back and forth on a daily basis. There are times I wish we had started trying a year ago and times I can't imagine trying for another year at least. I can only imagine this is somewhat common though.. at least I hope.

I have to admit I have read no less than 3 articles within the past couple of weeks about all of the benefits of remaining child-free, including one linked to in this forum. I was surprised at how much I actually let them get under my skin. I know in my heart I absolutely want to be a mother, but I think I'm most concerned with being overly stressed out. My husband is not one to handle stress wonderfully; He gets flustered by even smaller amounts of multi-tasking. As for myself, I will need to work full-time as we rely on my income, and can't fathom working at my current job and having a child to care for.

Does anybody else relate to these types of thoughts? I think as the reality of becoming a parents creeps closer it is bringing out some fear in me...

 

[Jen_91909]

Congratulations, Mayachel!!
Haven, Jen perhaps I could take one of yours off your hands, Raising Arizona style.

I'll keep that in mind

 

[Dandi]

Jen, I have the same... well 'fears' for lack of a better word, about my DH. He works from home sometimes and gets irritated at the slightest interruption, like if the phone rings, I can't imagine him cradling a baby with one hand and typing with the other! But he expresses his desire to be a daddy all the time, so who knows, he might surprise me!

He recently applied for a job, an internal position within the company which just meant a swap to day shift (he currently works 3:30pm until midnight, Monday to Friday). He worries about the prospect of there being kiddies in the home with me alone of an evening, he worries it's too much pressure on me, and that he will lose too much contact with the future bebe(s). He didn't get the job and was really disappointed (the whole process was a waste of time as someone was already earmarked for the job, so GRR ), as he's keen to start trying for babies now. I don't really see that as being a reason to wait, I'm sure it won't be easy for either of us, but it is what it is. I reassured him it would/could work, he'll have all morning with said child, which will allow me to return to work (I absolutely want to) in the mornings. The upside is, his current job earns about 30% more than the one he applied for, so dropping to one wage which has been significantly reduced would be a shock to the system! We'd manage comfortably on his one current wage, so I don't know... blessing in disguise, maybe? UGH, this makes my head spin.

I think we'll probably start really trying in the later half of this year, but he's really hung up about the evening shift thing, but at this stage there isn't anything we can do about it. Hrmph.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Congratulations, Mayachel!!

I am also officially off HBC (which I had been on longer than not, so freaky). By the nature of my job and the culture of department, I cannot just get KTFU any time, but DH and I have decided we will be trying every September, October, and November from here on out for a summer LO (and possibly in March/April for a December/January LO if that doesn't work).

I would love multiples. I was an only child and hated it. And, due to my age (all y'all get the heck out of here with your I'm 30 and gotta get moving noise ), having a second that we didn't adopt would be riskier. I would love to adopt; DH is less sold on it. Alas, I am short and there is only one set of twins in my family (due to fertility drugs, not genes), so it is unlikely. Haven, Jen perhaps I could take one of yours off your hands, Raising Arizona style.

Katamari, I am an academic too and got knocked up in October, as did my other female colleagues Too funny. May - July is a great time to have a baby in this job. Does your school offer any sort of matenity leave?