Absolutely HUGE ditto to this, Holly!Date: 8/4/2008 12:30:17 PM
Author: HollyS
I''m sorry he was so rude that you actually felt threatened or harrassed. It''s tough being in a foreign country, not fluent in the language, and not so aware of local or national customs -- which can be a lot different than the US. Take heart in the fact that it was an isolated incident; you said you haven''t felt any hostility or ill will before.
Makes you think though; we should all be mindful of the foreigner in our own midst who is unnerved by our way of doing things. They could use a little of our kindness. They probably feel harrassed when we talk louder and louder because they don''t understand English! We have a lot of ''not born in America'' folks in my area: Koreans, Germans, Pakistanis, Mexicans (of course), and a smattering of Eastern Europeans that would have been Soviets in a different decade. When you''re in retail, you learn to get by with a lot of sign language, etc. I''ve always said, ''they speak better English that I speak _______.''
Date: 8/4/2008 1:59:13 PM
Author: Ellen
Date: 8/4/2008 1:39:48 PM
Author: Brown.Eyed.Girl
Ellen, I didn''t think of this until you mentioned the mace, but in Kyoto, I did buy a sword....
It''s a replica. But it looks real enough. I should start carrying it on the subways! (and to complete this mental image, imagine a tiny, 5''1'' Asian girl in a suit and heels, wielding a short sword in the subways of Tokyo!)LOVE it!! That''d work.
Date: 8/5/2008 3:28:13 AM
Author: Deelight
Date: 8/4/2008 1:59:13 PM
Author: Ellen
Date: 8/4/2008 1:39:48 PM
Author: Brown.Eyed.Girl
Ellen, I didn''t think of this until you mentioned the mace, but in Kyoto, I did buy a sword....
It''s a replica. But it looks real enough. I should start carrying it on the subways! (and to complete this mental image, imagine a tiny, 5''1'' Asian girl in a suit and heels, wielding a short sword in the subways of Tokyo!)LOVE it!! That''d work.
This made me giggle, I am sorry this happened to you like the others I would learn some key words and use them at will.
The guy sounds like an unstable perv
GO, PANDORA!!! You're my new hero!!!Date: 8/5/2008 11:16:10 AM
Author: Pandora II
I'm sorry you had that experience - how very frightening!
I was in China 10 years ago and a guy tried to grope me in the street. Luckily I saw him coming. When I was at boarding school, they made us all take self-defence lessons for two years. I had never needed to use them, and it had been 8 years previous that I had done them, but it just came back like clockwork. I blocked him with one hand and drove a fist in under his ribs without even thinking about it.
I then chased him up the road and gave him a massive big kick up the backside!Geez, it felt good!
I was with an American girl called Holly at the time and I remember her shouting at me to come back and leave him alone. We couldn't stop laughing afterwards, but I was just sooooo angry at the time.
BEG,Date: 8/5/2008 3:12:39 AM
Author: Brown.Eyed.Girl
Frekechild, I love the new shoe (or the same shoe??) in your avatar. The color''s awesome. And I have to say, my two favorite things to collect are pretty gemstones and swordsUnfortunately, I can''t afford the real ones (swords) for a couple more years yet (whew! They were so expensive!).
Brazen_Irish_Hussy, I''m actually not sure about mace laws here in Japan. I''m leaving in 3 weeks so I won''t chance it, but I''m going to take comfort in the fact that my purse, carrying books, coins, camera, will pack a wallop if anyone decides to push his luck further on the subway!
Pricesss, I totally agree. There was actually a few considerations for not causing a physical scene - 1) the guy could be a psycho and I didn''t want to chance that; 2) who knows if anyone would have done anything? Nobody really batted an eye when we started yelling at each other; 3) DEFINITELY would not want to be arrested/deported - for the usual reasons, and also that I''m in law school going into interviews in a month, and things like that definitely wouldn''t look good
Bliss, your headline made me laugh! I love it and thank you. Obviously the guy needs a lesson on why you shouldn''t bully or underestimate small people - we''re feisty!
MiraclesRule, I''m sorry you had a not so good experience on your trip. I guess I''m really sad to realize that some people will not cut any slack for foreigners when it comes to their customs or way of doing things. I doubt you were going around saying ''excuse me'' in a condescending voice or anything! They should have realized that you just didn''t know and let it go. It seems like you had a great time though taking in the sights and beauty of the city! And I think you were a very classy tourist in trying to figure out what was going on and trying to be polite (in their language no less!)
Diamondfan, It''s seriously so disturbing how perverted some people can be. After this incident, I kind of catch myself looking askance at the Japanese men around me on the subway. I''m sure 99% of those men are perfectly fine and innocent and not perverts, but that 1% really helps to ruin your general perception. And part of it is just the creepiness factor, and how you just don''t expect it at times. In Spain, I knew that men catcalled and would make overt remarks, but I also knew that for the most part, it''s totally harmless, and I felt safer even among that kind of attention than I would in an unsafer area of a major American city where you don''t know what the people around you are thinking or how they''re reacting. I think for me it''s the same here- people are much more reserved so you don''t expect this kind of behavior, and when you encounter it, wow, it''s creepy.
Anastasia, you reminded me of something else I read yesterday when I was reading up on Japanese customs. There was a Japanese person who mentioned that many women will now do this motion where they press their palms against the side of their legs going up the stairs, in order to close off their skirts so no one on a lower step can see up the skirts. Apparently this has become such a problem that holding your skirt down has become a pretty prevalent practice! Ugh. Really, it is sad that such signs and motions are necessary to preserve your own sense of privacy about your body.
WishfulThinking, you reminded me of something else I read! I apparently got past my shock last night by trying to absorb all the cultural stuff about JapanAnd this is that usually people will back off if you start speaking loudly in English, realizing you''re a foreigner, maybe, or just realizing that this is way too much trouble to go to. I was pretty surprised it didn''t work, although now that I think back on it, I think switching to Korean (which I''ve been doing here lately when English doesn''t quite get through) incensed him more. One friend asked if maybe there was a racial element. I have no idea. But either way, he wouldn''t back off. I found it surprising and probably indicative of the fact that he really is a unique (hopefully) nutcase.
Choro, you described him almost to a T! Except he actually had hair, no comb-over. But 4''8'' or not (I''m only 5''1''), I still say you have to watch out for the short girls. Odds are, most of them will be wearing sharp high heels
Alexis, thanks for the advice! I actually only have a couple more weeks left so I probably won''t get a pocket translator, but it definitely would have made my life (and shopping and eating experiences) easier if I had had one. Fortunately, most of our wanderings in and out of Tokyo are organized by my work, so we''ve been spoiled by having native Japanese people guiding us. I have to admit, I doubt sumimasen would have worked, only because when I finally figured out what was going on (that he had a problem with my crossed legs), my sense of stubbornness and indignation kicked in and I really wanted to piss him off. So I know part of the situation was definitely of my own making. Unfortunately, I hate letting people like that get away with imposing their views on others...
Phoenixgirl, you''re amazing and rue the day another guy comes up and accosts you. I would never have had the nerve to say that, so I applaud you for turning the tables back on that horrible pervert (omg, seriously??? You would have been justified in slapping him) and making him run away. But what an awful incident. He probably got off on the invasion of personal space/non-consent element, so I''m glad you creeped him out. He deserved it!
Jewelerman, were you okay??? I can''t believe nobody helped you - was it just one guy who attacked you or several? I actually live on the south side of Chicago and heard horrible stories about my neighborhood. One story is a guy, walking back home in one of the ''safer'' areas, got jumped by a gang, and nobody helped. He finally broke out of the circle of kids (seriously, just like 14 or 15 yrs old) and ran out into the street. He nearly got hit by a car, but fortunately the car stopped in time, and the driver, who saw some of it while approaching, opened the door for the guy so he could escape. I hope you were okay and not seriously hurt
Oh, I can tell you stories about how I warded off chikans. They usually go for the conservatively dressed little girls because those girls tend to not do anything about chikan. All of them were in for a shock with me.Date: 8/5/2008 3:12:39 AM
Author: Brown.Eyed.Girl
Choro, you described him almost to a T! Except he actually had hair, no comb-over. But 4''8'' or not (I''m only 5''1''), I still say you have to watch out for the short girls. Odds are, most of them will be wearing sharp high heels
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