Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestants"

[redwood66]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

HC I am sorry this happened to you and that you have to deal with this person now so many years later. Please be strong. He should not have this hold over you. Think of what you do have and not about him or his wretched act.

My prayers are with you.

 

[House Cat]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

HC I am sorry this happened to you and that you have to deal with this person now so many years later. Please be strong. He should not have this hold over you. Think of what you do have and not about him or his wretched act.

My prayers are with you.

Thank you redwood. You are always so kind.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

Oh, HouseCat. I am so so sorry for everything you've been through. It is totally understandable that some of the very insensitive comments here have made you physically hurt. I'm sure it's like a punch in the gut to read things like that. And I just want to tell you (I know you already know this) that it was not your fault.

 

[AGBF]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

House Cat-

I am so, so sorry for what you went through and continue to go through. I cannot imagine the horror of having to face a torturer from my past throughout my life. I lived through a very harrowing suicide attempt by my daughter when she was 15 that sounds similar to the one you underwent, the one aborted by your angel, and I can only say that I thank God your angel was there. I hope there will be more angels in your life to help to carry you. You deserve them.

I, also, wish you continued strength. You are, and have always had to be, a very strong woman to survive.

Hugs,
(((House Cat)))
Deb

 

[Calliecake]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

House Cat, Hugs, hugs, hugs and more hugs to you. I am so sorry about EVERYTHING you have been through. Are you seeing a counselor who can help you? If not, Please contact a rape crisis center in your area and ask them if they can provide a list of couselors in your area who have experience counseling rape victims. Your post literally has me sick feeling. About 15 years after I was attacked someone at work was discussing a website that listed those who have committed sexual crimes in the area. I entered the zip code I had lived in at the time of the attack. A man I had known for years was on this website. Everything suddenly fell into place. Things he said during the attack, the way I could tell this man was trying to change his voice. I was sitting at work frozen as I looked at the screen. I contacted the court system to find out details of what he did then immediately contacted the police. The statue of limitations had run out (at the time is was 2 years) but everyone helped me get as much information as possible. The police detective and a rape counselor also thought this was more than likely the man who attacked me. I went thru a wide range of emotions. I can only imagine how you are feeling and what the past three weeks have been for you having seen this man. Is there anything I can do to help you? can I research counselors in your area who can help you? Is there anything I can do. If so please, please let me know. I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

Ada Beta, The comments you made in this thread disgust me.

Redwood, One of the reasons I am a democrat is because I had a year of hell after I was attacked. I contemplated taking my life because I felt the pain was never going to subside, that I would never look in the mirror again and see who I was before the attack. The election after I was attacked, the republican candidate was going full throttle how all abortions should be illegal, even in cases of rape and incest. Had I gotten pregnant as a result of the attack I really don't know how I would have survived if I would have been forced to carry that monsters baby. When I get all emotional and passionate during these elections talks (which believe me I wish they didn't anger me the much as they do) it's because I know the sexual assault statistics and can't fathom a world where a victim would be forced to go thru with a pregnancy. When I say things that tick you off, which I am sure I have, please try to remember why my views are the way they are. I tell myself all the time that you have seen so many things I have not and I know that shapes and influences your view in politics as well. I have a lot of respect for you Red.

 

[lovedogs]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

HC I am so sorry for your horrific experience. I wish you the best in dealing with having to face him--I cannot imagine how horrible that must be. Luckily I have not been forced to see either of my abusers in person, but am unsure how I would react if I did run into them. I wish you the best, and send huge hugs!!!

 

[monarch64]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

Callie, your post made me cry. I am heartbroken for everyone who has had to go through these ordeals. With winter coming I will not be able to get out and volunteer at community gardens as much, and I am inspired by this thread to go help out at one of a number of local places that helps women. I used to work for a non-profit here that clothed women who needed attire for job interviews. That was very fulfilling for me and helpful for them. I know there is more I can do on an even deeper level, though.

 

[House Cat]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

Monnie, Thank you. It took about 15 years and a lot of therapy to realize that this incident wasn't my fault. Although, if I am being 100% honest, I still feel responsible sometimes. The shame that comes with being raped is so immense that sometimes pulling yourself out of it becomes a long process. I know it is daunting at times, but I am also constantly growing and getting stronger.

Deb, my heart broke when I read your message. I am sorry you have had to endure so much with your daughter. I have a bit of an idea of what you go through with her. You are her angel. Thank you for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me.

Callie, Hugs right back to you! Your story is so frightening and heartbreaking. It boggles my mind that they could ever have thought that two years was a suitable time for a statute of limitations. I am so, so sorry that you have lived through such an ordeal! I do have a therapist. I have been having extra sessions since I have seen this attacker. Your offer to help actually brought tears to my eyes. You are so sweet. Thank you very much.

Lovedogs, thank you. I hope you never lay eyes on your attackers either. It isn't a good experience. I'm not sure why life is doing this right now. I'm always one to go into deep reflection about the "why" of it all. My aunt told me that she believes I am being presented with this because it is time to forgive and move on. I'm not great with forgiveness. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty terrible at it. My heart turned cold, black, and hard the moment she mentioned forgiveness for this person. I don't think she can relate to what this idea did to me. Only the people who have been involuntarily initiated into this horrific club can relate to what it might be like to be faced with the notion of forgiving this monster.

I want to thank all of you again. Although I knew that I would receive an outpouring of support from exactly the posters who gave it, that wasn't the reason why I wrote the post. I wrote it to give the real life example of the damage that perpetuating rape culture does. I believe in my heart of hearts that the first step in conquering this issue is for the women to stop turning on one another and accusing them of deserving it, asking for it, lying about it, putting themselves in that position. Women need to believe in with every fiber of their being that women (people) don't ever deserve rape, period. Rape is caused by rapists, period. Rape is in the hands of the rapist. To say anything else is to do harm.

 

[redwood66]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

Callie I cannot say anything the others have not already said. I pray for you to be strong.

We don't have to always agree in order to care for each other. Hugs to you.

 

[AGBF]

Re: Trump brags, "I 'inspected' nude Miss Universe contestan

Thank you for your last posting, House Cat. I think you are correct that when a woman tells her complete story and is not even naming the man who raped her, it is clear to everyone that she can have no agenda other than to open the eyes of others around her. She is obviously not trying to blacken some man's character (as a politician might claim if a woman came forward and accused him of rape). Therefore your brave recounting of your experience was beneficial to everyone. It is a pity that anyone can ever claim that a woman who tells a story of her rape is doing so for a self-serving purpose.

I also want to tell the other women who have been sexually assaulted here, and I know that Calliecake and Lovedogs are among them, but I do not know how many others there may be, that they also are in my thoughts. Serious assaults like the ones they endured must be nearly impossible to get over, because i find that I can easily summon up the tiniest of events.

I doubt that there is a woman today who has not been the subject of some unwanted sexual aggression-I have remembered two incidents out of my own past in past two weeks as all this unfolded-but neither of mine involved rape. The fact that I remember them now says something, however. One incident happened when I was about 15, and was very minor. A friend's father groped my breasts in a darkroom when we were developing photographs. The other was minor, too. A relatively young, married man kissed me passionately in a room full of copying machines off the main office in which I worked. he was someone with whom i was was friendly, had flirted. I was 22 and in graduate school. I felt confused by the kiss, as if I had asked for it. But I remember crying so hard on the subway on the way home that I kept falling down and a nice young woman stopping me and asking if I needed help.

If I can remember these small incidents 40 years later, how deeply traumatized must a rape victim be?

AGBF