The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[monkeyprincess]

SS, good luck with the timing this month. I had a crazy travel schedule the past few months, but somehow, the timing for the appointments and IUIs always worked out. I hope the same things happens for you, and that you don't have to resort to cars or bathrooms

LV, logically, I know you're right that I shouldn't compare my situation to others, but emotionally, I just don't know how not to do that. After having trouble conceiving Ev, I was open to having a baby again as soon as possible, and if it had been up to me and I was a normal person who got pregnant by having sex with her husband, I'd have a baby or be about to have a baby. When I see other people who are now in that position with little to no effort (or who can plan exactly when they want their baby to arrive), I can't help but compare and feel sad that it's not me experiencing that. I guess that's what makes me human.... At the moment, I'm just not feeling very hopeful and it doesn't feel like an end is in sight. Out of all of the months of TTC we've had (at least 24 cycles), I've only conceived once with the helpf of clomid and IUI (even though I've had 5 IUIs and had 6 other medicated cycles), so I'm not very hopeful a spontaneous pregnancy is in the cards for me anytime soon (I know it's not impossible, just not very likely), and at the moment, the extent of treatment I'm willing to try doesn't seem to be helping. I'm sure that I'll feel more hopeful once we get a chance to see the RE and learn what are options are, but at the moment, I'm having trouble not feeling sorry for myself.

Anyway,I am wishing you all the best as you embark on your IVF journey. I so hope the protocol you and doctors have decided on works really well for you and that the time between now and retrieval goes quickly with as little stress as posible. Keeping my fingers very tightly crossed. I'm so very hopeful for you, and I appreciate all the support you've given me and others these past few months. Really hoping your good news is just around the corner.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - Sorry, I didn't mean to discount your feelings at all. I just don't want you to be sad. For me, fortunately I guess, since we've been trying, I've only had one person close to me get pregnant and already have her baby, and for some reason, it didn't really bother me. AND, she is the most annoying pregnant lady ever. Like, when I was pregnant, you might not even have known. She is like totally in your face pregnant lady . . . the world must know and be made aware of it constantly pregnant lady. So, yes, she was super-annoying, but I didn't feel very envious or any more sad for myself. I am not sure why. Anyway, I think you will feel a lot better once you get to talk to your RE and have a plan moving forward. It sounds like you are in a little bit of a funk right now. I hope it passes soon. We all know I've been there too!

 

[random_thought]

It sucks MP. We pretty much have our plan in place and it still hurts to see people get pregnant. I've had at least 10 people get pregnant and have their babies in the time we have been trying and one is even pregnant again I just don't know why the universe is this way and I hate it. I try very hard not to get upset or jealous or whatever but it's not easy. I know I should be happy that other people don't have to deal with the crap that I'm having to but my brain just doesn't process it that way. I don't have any advice but, I just wanted to say that, I know how you feel and that I'm sorry this is happening for all of us.

ETA: I also know a girl who had 3 kids, lives off welfare, has no job, never leaves her house and she's planning to have her 4th in the fall right now so that she can have a baby in summer, fall, spring and winter It takes every fiber of my being not to kick her in the face. *Note: I don't mean that literally, I can't kick that high

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I appreciate the support you've always given me, and I totally understood you were trying to make me feel better. But yes, I'm definitely in a bit of a funk right now. Hopefully, I can turn my attitude around and have something more positive or optimistic to say. I know everybody on here feels similarly and understands the frustration and heartbreak of infertility. I really believe it is one of those things you have to experience yourself to even begin to understand how it feels, which is why I'm so relieved to have this forum.

Random, yup. That's a lot of what I'm feeling right now. I feel really guilty that every pregnancy announcement I hear makes me feel like I can't breathe for a moment and puts me in a funk. It's not that I'm not happy for other people or don't want good things for them, but it just reminds me what I don't have and can't make happen. Anyway, thanks for understanding. I'm sorry you have to experience it because I wish that none of us had to.

 

[random_thought]

So...where is everybody at right now with cycles and what not? I wanted to read back and see but it was kind of hard to keep track

I'm CD 7, planning (yeah right) to ov around CD 14 since i had a 28 day cycle last month. Going by the EOD method right now until I get crosshairs on FF. Things we're using this month- green tea, metformin, preseed and pineapple core. This marks cycle 27 for us *bangs head against wall*

 

[split_shank]

CD4 here, Day 3 of Femera with much more stomach upset and nausea than last month on it. Its bearable but lots of rumblings and questionable trips to the restroom!

So now that persuing advanced measures is on the radar, DH is now all of a sudden not so keen on "contributing" to his end of the deal. I didn't get too deep into it with him when I brought it up and he shot it down because I was way too hormonal and tired to keep it civilized. I managed a "I'm the one that gets probed 3 times a month and has to take $h***Y medications all the time, the least you could do is take one for the team". I left it at that, not sure if he got the hint or not. Haven't brought it up since. How do you help the DH's with the stigma of producing a sample in office? They don't get the whole idea that this is what these professionals do every day for a purpose, its not something they are going to laugh at you when you open the door! Ugh!!!!!

 

[random_thought]

S_S I had the same problems with DH. I basically had to keep reiterating over and over again what you did tell him. Also, my RE at the time allowed him to produce it at home as long as I got it to their office in time. Is something like that an option?

If you don't mind me asking, why do you take the femara? I've been looking into it since I know it helps pcos and endometriosis which would be awesome for me. Is it horrible or do you not mind it so much?

 

[split_shank]

RT, in this cycle's instance, we won't be at home at time of triggering/BD'ing. We will , however both be in the city that the RE"s office is in for meetings so if things look well, it would be an option instead of the backseat car theory earlier .

I am on my 2nd cycle of Femera after previously doing a 50 and 100 cycle of Clomid, which blew my ovaries up into hyperstimulation. I have PCOS symptoms without the actual classic polycystic ovaries, if that makes sense. We did find out from the clomid that they are sensitive little buggers tho! I believe I need the trigger more than anything. I have a stressful worklife lately so I'm sure that plays in to the systemic effect on me this go 'round. My RE mentioned that Femera is much gentler and has more dosage options but I seem to be reacting well to the lowest dosage, 2.5mg 2x a day. Last month I had little symptoms, maybe some dizziness but this month has had more stomach upset. I'm trying to figure out if it is indeed the medication or me introducing some foods back in my diet after being on vacation.

Also from what I understand, Femera works a little differently by inhibiting estrogen production whereas Clomid causes an increase in one of the FSH/LH's. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[aviastar]

I'm CD 20/ DPO 4 over here. Man, I am in such a better mood these past couple of days! It's the weather- 50 whole degrees! And daffodils sprouting! And the sun doesn't set till after 6! We were goofing off last night when DH said he was glad that I was happier- he was really worried about me last week; I was quiet, slept all the time, cried every day. I know how it felt to me, but I didn't really pay much attention to what it must look like from the outside. The only thing I could say back was 'I was too sad.' And it scares me that I got to that kind of place. I know that the sadness will come and go, but it reinforces to me that I can't do this indefinitely.

Monkey- we are right there in this rut with you, we Sisters of Disappointment, Warriors of the OPK, Dreamers of Babies. I have managed to run into someone I know- pregnant someones- the last two times at the midwives' office. Luckily, they were acquaintances so I could pretend I didn't recognize them and just avoid eye contact. It's a gauntlet of announcements, and bellies, and babies out there. Do not let it conquer you! Take your beautiful boy out into the sunshine, buy yourself an ice cream, and cry every night if you need to. I wish we all knew each other in real life; I would be honored to cry with you.

We've only had to do one SA but we were also allowed to collect at home and drive it in immediately. There was grumbling, but here's the bottom line: Is he willing to stop trying to have a baby over this? Would he put in adoption papers, right now, instead? Because this is it, this is where you are and what he needs to man up and do if he wants to continue trying to have a biological child. If the answer is no, then he is pouting and he needs to be a little more sensitive to the physical and emotional awkwardness and discomfort you have put up with for the cause. As my DH himself said, when I was cranky about my skin breaking out because I stopped the pill, "This may be the first sacrifice you make for our child, but it certainly won't be the last. It's worth it."

Honestly, men are such babies!

 

[monkeyprincess]

SS, there's no getting around the awkwardness of the guy's part if they have to do it in the office. I realize we get poked and prodded much more than they do, but honestly, I can't even imagine how embarassing and emasculating it is for them to have to produce a deposit in the office. So, I really do have a lot of sympathy for them. My DH was not at all happy about having to do it the first time, and he was really stressed out and worried he's have performance anxiety, but he survived. Poor guy has had to do it 5 additional times for IUIs while TTC#1 and TTC#2. After a couple times, he sucked it up and just did it because he knew he had to do his part, and he hates seeing how sad our infertility makes me, so he'd pretty much do anything to make it happen. I'm sure your DH will come around. I recommend just being as sympathetic as you can and don't try to minimize what he is doing, even if it feels like you are taking more for the team.

Aviastar, I'm glad you are feeling better. It is all cyclical for me, depending on where I'm at in the process. I always feel pretty happy the week following ovulation, and then I start to get worried and anxious the next week, and then I get depressed when AF comes, and then then O seems to come so quickly, and I start the whole process again. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement and support. I'm actually feeling not as sad about TTC today, and that's probably because I'm more focused on how irritating it is not to have a phone (which my little guy pulled off the counter and broke this morning). Seriously, what did people do before cellphones? I feel so isolated!

 

[random_thought]

Monkey- we are right there in this rut with you, we Sisters of Disappointment, Warriors of the OPK, Dreamers of Babies. I have managed to run into someone I know- pregnant someones- the last two times at the midwives' office. Luckily, they were acquaintances so I could pretend I didn't recognize them and just avoid eye contact. It's a gauntlet of announcements, and bellies, and babies out there. Do not let it conquer you! Take your beautiful boy out into the sunshine, buy yourself an ice cream, and cry every night if you need to. I wish we all knew each other in real life; I would be honored to cry with you.

This should be some sort of IF anthem. Very well written avistar.

I believe the femara does inhibit the estrogen and that is why a lot of women with pcos and endo take it because it helps stimulate the ovaries without releasing a ton of estrogen, is that right? I know endo thrives on estrogen so that is why I was looking into it.
I don't know for sure what our next step will be but I just assume it will be clomid or something similar. Do you always have to chunk out a ton of money for clomid, like they always do the u/s monitoring? If that's the case, I may wait a few months just to try and save up some extra for it. I am only on my second normal cycle following surgery so I have hope that maybe this month or next month will do it for me.

 

[random_thought]

Sorry to be posting so much but I came across this today and got excited and wanted to share! Has anyone heard of IVM? I found it in a few articles, I can't remember if we can post links or not but if you google IVM you can find out more about it. Here's an excerpt from what I just read…

"After a little Internet research and a discussion with her doctor, Joel Batzofin, Timney decided to try in vitro again. But this time, she would undergo a lesser-known alternative, known as in vitro maturation (IVM). While the likelihood of pregnancy was slightly lower, Batzofin explained, the upsides of IVM were clear: a price tag at around a third of IVF and no hormone shots.
IVM and IVF are qutie similar: Both involve the retrieval of eggs from a woman’s ovaries, followed by fertilization in a lab, and then implantation of one or more fertilized embryos back into the woman’s uterus. The crucial difference is the state of the eggs at retrieval: With IVF, the eggs are matured inside the ovaries, while in IVM doctors remove immature eggs and then mature them outside the body.
As such, IVM requires no hyperstimulation of the ovaries, meaning the daily shots are almost entirely eliminated. (IVM patients do need to take three to five hormones prior to surgery,and may also take estrogen for 12 days following their period tostimulate uterine development.) “Anyone who’s ever seen the needles you use [to inject hormones for IVF] knows they’re giant,” Timney says. “It put a big strain on me, and my husband, who did the injecting. IVM has a totally different protocol—you might take hormones as a pill, or a suppository.” After the scaled-down hormone treatment and one or two ultrasounds,patients come in to the clinic for egg retrieval.
Once they are removed, the immature eggs are placed in a petri dish and exposed to a combination of luteinizing hormones and follicle stimulating hormones. The eggs are typically left in this medium for 24 to 48 hours; if they've reached maturation, they're then inseminated. The newly formed embryos are then transferred back into the uterus within four days. The fertilization and transplantation processes are generally the same as in IVF."

 

[split_shank]

I believe the femara does inhibit the estrogen and that is why a lot of women with pcos and endo take it because it helps stimulate the ovaries without releasing a ton of estrogen, is that right? I know endo thrives on estrogen so that is why I was looking into it.
I don't know for sure what our next step will be but I just assume it will be clomid or something similar. Do you always have to chunk out a ton of money for clomid, like they always do the u/s monitoring? If that's the case, I may wait a few months just to try and save up some extra for it. I am only on my second normal cycle following surgery so I have hope that maybe this month or next month will do it for me.

if you meant the cost of Clomid, it was cheap. I have adequate but not stellar insurance and it cost me less than $5 a month. Same for Femera, which I was preparing to be much more. Everyone's price is different however, but it helps that there are generic versions of both. It's the US's and subsequent radiologist reads that are so dang expensive and add up fast. Not sure how many doctors would allow unmonitored Clomid cycles, but I would want to know if I was overstimulated (which I could definitely feel) even if just for the knowledge of risk of multiple mature eggs.

 

[random_thought]

I believe the femara does inhibit the estrogen and that is why a lot of women with pcos and endo take it because it helps stimulate the ovaries without releasing a ton of estrogen, is that right? I know endo thrives on estrogen so that is why I was looking into it.
I don't know for sure what our next step will be but I just assume it will be clomid or something similar. Do you always have to chunk out a ton of money for clomid, like they always do the u/s monitoring? If that's the case, I may wait a few months just to try and save up some extra for it. I am only on my second normal cycle following surgery so I have hope that maybe this month or next month will do it for me.

if you meant the cost of Clomid, it was cheap. I have adequate but not stellar insurance and it cost me less than $5 a month. Same for Femera, which I was preparing to be much more. Everyone's price is different however, but it helps that there are generic versions of both. It's the US's and subsequent radiologist reads that are so dang expensive and add up fast. Not sure how many doctors would allow unmonitored Clomid cycles, but I would want to know if I was overstimulated (which I could definitely feel) even if just for the knowledge of risk of multiple mature eggs.

Right, I was talking about the monitoring. As soon as they introduce clomid in, insurance doesn't cover it anymore and we recently had to spend our money on some other things to replace (like dh's glasses that C ripped in half and our broken tv...ok that isn't a necessity but ...it kind of is, lol) I have my consultation with the RE today so I'll know for sure by the end of the day but I'm thinking the plan will be maybe one more cycle after this and then hop to the clomid which is fine by me.

 

[random_thought]

So I had my consultation and the consensus is, I was misdiagnosed with pcos. The only symptom I have had is the acne, weight gain and the insulin resistance. However, my periods are regular for the most part and I do ovulate. So that was that.

As for the endometriosis, she told me she typically tells her patients to try for 3-6 months to get pregnant after surgery. We're on cycle 2 of trying since surgery and it took 7 cycles to conceive my son. It did happen during a period of weight loss so I'm thinking maybe that really is the answer, that I need to just buckle down and lose some weight. So if I'm not pregnant by the middle of june, back I go to the new RE.

She also said if the endo gets bad enough to come in earlier since the only way to cure it is pregnancy pretty much and we'll need to be more aggressive about it. She seems to know a lot more than the doctor I was seeing so I'm just gonna go with it until the summer.

 

[aviastar]

Wow, so glad this new doc seems knowledgeable, Random! Thanks for posting the info about IVM, too. To elaborate on the answer already given about clomid costs; the medication itself cost me 10 bucks. The monitoring, which my office requires, is about $450/cycle. But if you are ovulating on your own you probably won't need it!

 

[pancake]

Just ducking my head in to say that RT, do you have polycystic ovaries on ultrasound? Diagnostic criteria for PCOS are highly controversial and still discussed in a very heated manner at international meetings, but generally these days it's 2 out of the following - androgen excess (either clinically or biochemically), infrequent or no ovulation, polycystic ovaries observed on ultrasound. In any case it sounds like for you, weight loss may be a key to getting pregnant, plus or minus metformin, depending on your complete clinical picture.

 

[random_thought]

Pancake- I did have the cysts on the ultrasound which is the other reason I was originally diagnosed with it. It's hard to say for sure I guess, but whether I have it or not, you're right, weight loss is probably what will help the most. I'm down about 20 lbs almost from November (consider we had the holidays in between lol) so I'm only 3 lbs away from what I conceived my son at. Hitting the p90x today and gonna keep eating as low carb sugar free as possible

 

[BrightSpot]

RT, ditto to the excellent advice you received from pancake. Weight loss can make a huge difference with pcos. Have you tried Metformin? Wishing you & all the lovely ladies here the best!!

And thanks so much, mayerling (&, of course, MP!)

 

[pancake]

RT - 20lb since November is AMAZING! Fantastic work, keep it up. From what you have mentioned, I think you do meet the diagnostic criteria for PCOS, however regardless, the management in this case would be the same anyway. Hopefully weight loss will improve your insulin sensitivity, settle the androgens down and be just what you need - fingers crossed for you!

 

[random_thought]

Thanks Pankcake!
BS- I've been on Metformin since October so I think is part of the reason I was able to lose the weight so easily, most of that was without exercise lol

Also I have a question - Has anyone ever ovulated super early before? I've been doing p90x the last 2 days, maybe that is affecting my bbt as well?

 

[aviastar]

Hi Random, I've never ovulated early, but I think you need 3 days of elevated temps to really pinpoint O, so just keep temping for the next few days and see what pattern emerges. And I know CD10 is way early for you and it would be for me too, but it's not actually too insanely early in the grand scheme of 'normal'.

I had another question for you, too, Random. Did your previous RE manage your lap surgery or did you have to see an OB surgeon? My appointment next month is with an OB surgeon, which I am hoping will help me get some insurance coverage, so I was just curious. And have you seen any improvement in your endo symptoms since then? Fewer cramps or anything?

 

[random_thought]

Hi Random, I've never ovulated early, but I think you need 3 days of elevated temps to really pinpoint O, so just keep temping for the next few days and see what pattern emerges. And I know CD10 is way early for you and it would be for me too, but it's not actually too insanely early in the grand scheme of 'normal'.

I had another question for you, too, Random. Did your previous RE manage your lap surgery or did you have to see an OB surgeon? My appointment next month is with an OB surgeon, which I am hoping will help me get some insurance coverage, so I was just curious. And have you seen any improvement in your endo symptoms since then? Fewer cramps or anything?

I've never ovulated early either. I cheated and added 2 days of high temps in and it would put ov at cd 9 so good thing i got that quickie in on cd6 lol!!!

My RE managed my lap and since it affects your mentrual cycle, there is no reason they should have to list it as a fertility procedure, I know that my doctor didn't. I have noticed that the pain is considerably less since having the surgery and the flows aren't as heavy. However, I am starting to have the lower back pain come back again which really stinks. Keep in mind that the first period after the surgery doesn't really count because your body is readjusting itself so it might still be pretty heavy but after that it should get better.

The main issue I had with all of it was that I respond badly to anesthesia and I ended up missing almost 2 weeks of work trying to get it all out of my system, I constantly wanted to throw up

Another nice thing is that my cycles are more consistent now, my last one was 28 days and before they were about 32 days.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Random, that would be a really early ovulation especially if you are not a typical early ovulator. You'll have to keep temping to see if it was a fluke or what. I am a relatively early ovulator, but I can't remember ovulating before CD11 or 12. It's not unheard for people to ovulate super early though, so who knows?Oh, and I didn't realize you were so fresh off endo surgery. Hopefully, you'll be able to take advantage of the next few cycles just in case your endo starts causing problems again. Congrats on your weight loss as well, hopefully, both that and your surgery will be the key to getting you pregnant again.

Aviastar, how's it going? I know you're in the 2ww, but I can't remember if anyone else is right now. It would be great to get more good news around here!

Hope everyone else is hanging in there - LV, SS, SB and others.

Nothing new to report on my end, and there probably won't be much of anything until I get an appointment with my RE. It's our first unmonitored cycle in quite awhile, so I better break out the old OPKs this week, so we can give it the old college try. I suppose stranger things have happened, but I'm certainly not holding my breath. And LV, you're right, it is pretty nice not having to worry about appointments, etc. for awhile.

 

[random_thought]

MP- Ya never know!! And either way, it might be nice to have a cycle without the stress of all the monitoring? I know last month when we got sick and missed our chances, it was almost nice in a way to just know what was coming and not have it on my mind all of the time.

 

[royalasscherlover]

Sorry for disappearing, last week was crazy at work and I had a tough weekend. But I was thinking of all of you.

bright, thanks for the info on the royal jelly. I hope your move went well and you're settling in.

LV, good luck with the IVF, I really hope it works for you.

aviastar, awesome news on the lining! Keeping my fingers crossed.

ss, I hope you get the timing worked out this round.

mp, I hope that you can enjoy your time off and get into the RE sooner. I also feel left out by all the other people in my life who are getting pregnant easily and often. This is such a struggle.

rt, keeping my fingers crossed that you have success in the next few months after your endo surgery. Awesome about the weight loss too!

brightlight, thinking about you.

AFM, I'm CD 5 and got the all-clear to start Gonal-F on Saturday. I'll go back in for an ultrasound Wednesday to see how it's going. The theory is that my lining should be better with just the injectibles without the estrogen-inhibition from Femara - we'll see. I'm pretty anxious since the lining problem last cycle was very disappointing and I'm scared I'll have problems this time too. I was super emotional and sad over the weekend - I just felt like this was all so hopeless and couldn't stop crying. Plus, it doesn't help when people tell you that life is meaningless without children - I don't necessarily think that's true, but I definitely didn't need to hear it on Saturday when my emotions were already high. I feel a little better today, but still not great. I feel like I'm getting pretty desperate and this one bad thing is overwhelming the multiple wonderful other things in my life.

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, keeping my fingers crossed for you that you do not run into the same lining issues this time. And I'm so sorry you had a rough weekend. Big hugs to you. Infertility is such an all encompassing, overwhelming cross to bear, so don't be too hard on yourself. Looking back, I was so fortunate the my first IUI worked last time. I cannot even imagine what a mess I would be if I were still trying for my first and had experienced four failed IUIs (like I have this time) and had no assurance that I would ever be able to get pregnant. I really feel for you and will be keeping you in my thoughts. It's just so darn hard sometimes to not let infertility overwhelm you and consume most of your energy. I don't think anyone who is not experiencing it really gets that. Sending you all the best this cycle.

 

[royalasscherlover]

Thanks MP, I appreciate it. It helps to know there are people out there who understand. Keeping my fingers crossed for you too.

 

[random_thought]

So, after talking to the new doctor, she had mentioned that if we can't get pregnant by June that depending on what stage my endometriosis was that we might have to consider IVF. I had thought based on the info the doctor gave me after the surgery that it sounded like stage 1 so was like ok whatever, that's fine. I called today to ask and find out for sure what it was because I never found out. Yeah, effing stage 3. I could punch something or cry right now, ugh. How disappointing. I don't even know how I'm going to tell dh

 

[aviastar]

oh random, that sucks! nothing else to add, just standing in solidarity of suckiness.