The LIW Small Talk Thread

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:26:27 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:22:22 AM

Author: TopoDazzle

Elle, where did you go to look at dresses in A2?

B. Ella Bridal on Plymouth Road (Hated it)


Darling Bridal Showcase on Jackson Road (Loved it, found my dress there)

Cool! Thanks.

 

[misskitty]

Thanks, ladies! (lots of replies just popped up while I was typing that one)

I really appreciate all of your suggestions. I hope he meets people pretty quickly. My guess is that if he has friends around, it''ll buffer the impact of the transition.

I think the family is considering rearranging our Thanksgiving plans this year, and going out to see him. Hopefully that will help, too.

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:31:26 AM
Author: Lilac
MK - I also think therapy is a great suggestion, but I do think there''s only so far a therapist can help for this PARTICULAR situation. If he was afraid of something or had a specific fear I would say therapy would definitely help. But the fact that he''s worried about not knowing anyone will really only go totally away once he meets people.


However, I would still suggest the therapy to him. Maybe phrase it like ''I know a lot of people who really feel better when they know there''s a specific person they can go express all their thoughts to every week. Maybe that would help for the first few weeks you''re there?'' Or something like that.

Just as another take, I actually have found therapy works even better when there isn''t a specific issue. For me those were the times when we revealed the emotions that i was having that i wasn''t even aware of, and siphoning all that off was what put an end to the panic...like that *snaps fingers*

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:31:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5
Maybe I should take my own advice. I had TWO panic attacks yesterday.

say what?

Really? What triggered?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:40:59 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:31:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5
Maybe I should take my own advice. I had TWO panic attacks yesterday.

say what?

Really? What triggered?

Me being crazy.

Seriously though... no idea. I had one at work, and then one later at home that night.

I get them pretty frequently. I''m not the best at dealing with stress, and I''ve been eating crappy and not exercising as much lately, which make more stress.

I just need to get back on track and I should feel better.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:40:19 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

Date: 7/14/2009 10:31:26 AM

Author: Lilac

MK - I also think therapy is a great suggestion, but I do think there''s only so far a therapist can help for this PARTICULAR situation. If he was afraid of something or had a specific fear I would say therapy would definitely help. But the fact that he''s worried about not knowing anyone will really only go totally away once he meets people.

However, I would still suggest the therapy to him. Maybe phrase it like ''I know a lot of people who really feel better when they know there''s a specific person they can go express all their thoughts to every week. Maybe that would help for the first few weeks you''re there?'' Or something like that.

Just as another take, I actually have found therapy works even better when there isn''t a specific issue. For me those were the times when we revealed the emotions that i was having that i wasn''t even aware of, and siphoning all that off was what put an end to the panic...like that *snaps fingers*

No I agree with what you''re saying - and I''ve been to therapy for the "no specific issue" thing as well and it''s always been GREAT and really helped me. But I think in this case there is sort of a specific issue in the sense that he is specifically anxious about not knowing anyone. And the only solution to that is to meet people. The therapist can help him talk about his feelings which will probably help (which is why I think he DEFINITELY should try seeing a therapist) but to actually fix that problem he just needs to be put in that situation and actually meet people in his new city.

 

[misskitty]

I''m sorry to hear that, elle. I know those are really miserable to go through, and I hope you feel back on track soon.

 

[misskitty]

p.s. I swear I''m not running away from this thread, I have to go to a meeting! Thanks, ladies...I''ll be back around lunchtime

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:43:04 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:40:59 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:31:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5
Maybe I should take my own advice. I had TWO panic attacks yesterday.

say what?

Really? What triggered?

Me being crazy.

Seriously though... no idea. I had one at work, and then one later at home that night.

I get them pretty frequently. I''m not the best at dealing with stress, and I''ve been eating crappy and not exercising as much lately, which make more stress.

I just need to get back on track and I should feel better.

I''ve never experienced a panic attack. The only thing I can relate it to is the anxiety I feel when I have to do presentations.

 

[princesss]

MK, where is he moving? Is he into sports at all? I moved to a brand new city last year after graduation, and I joined a recreational sports league (Ultimate is always good for finding quality people, but other sports are good, too) to meet people. I made a lot of phone calls to friends the first few weeks and hung a lot of pictures. Also, I got a cat. Sounds crazy, but having something that loved me and relied on me really made me focus on something outside of how miserable I was.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:46:40 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:43:04 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:40:59 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:31:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5
Maybe I should take my own advice. I had TWO panic attacks yesterday.

say what?

Really? What triggered?

Me being crazy.

Seriously though... no idea. I had one at work, and then one later at home that night.

I get them pretty frequently. I''m not the best at dealing with stress, and I''ve been eating crappy and not exercising as much lately, which make more stress.

I just need to get back on track and I should feel better.

I''ve never experienced a panic attack. The only thing I can relate it to is the anxiety I feel when I have to do presentations.

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just "in... out...." That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

 

[Lilac]

I''ve experienced a few panic attacks, but the worst one was about a year ago when I saw an ex-friend (the friend I posted about in Hangout just now). That panic attack was really just horrible...

I''m sorry you''re having them and you''re so stressed out elle.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:46:40 AM

Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:43:04 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:40:59 AM

Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:31:41 AM

Author: elledizzy5

Maybe I should take my own advice. I had TWO panic attacks yesterday.

say what?


Really? What triggered?

Me being crazy.

Seriously though... no idea. I had one at work, and then one later at home that night.

I get them pretty frequently. I''m not the best at dealing with stress, and I''ve been eating crappy and not exercising as much lately, which make more stress.

I just need to get back on track and I should feel better.

I''ve never experienced a panic attack. The only thing I can relate it to is the anxiety I feel when I have to do presentations.

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Yeah that''s what it was like.. just like your chest feels like it''s tightening so much you can''t breathe, dizziness, crying, heart pounding so hard you can''t hear yourself think. Haven''t had one in a loooong time which I am really grateful for.

I also get EXTREMELY anxious when I have to do presentations (heart racing, shallow breathing, extreme nervousness) and I thought those were "panic attacks" until I actually had one. I don''t know how it feels for everyone else (I would assume it''s similar) but a panic attack is about 50x worse than that nervousness/anxiety before presentations.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

 

[elation]

I totally agree with princesss, getting a pet always helps and it doesn''t reeeally detract from going out to meet people. I think the usual scary thing with moving out to a new place is missing the sense of community that a person''s built for their life, but maybe he''ll find it as a time to start doing all the things he''s wanted to achieve on his own!
I''m sorry I can''t really offer any advice MK, I''m not familiar with anxiety attacks or therapy.. all I can offer is best wishes for the situation!

Btw, tea is an awesome idea!

 

[CNOS128]

I had one once. I can't imagine having more than one in a day. It took me like a day to stop trembling.

ETA: that was in response to the panic attacks...

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:55:14 AM
Author: Lilac


Yeah that''s what it was like.. just like your chest feels like it''s tightening so much you can''t breathe, dizziness, crying, heart pounding so hard you can''t hear yourself think. Haven''t had one in a loooong time which I am really grateful for.

I also get EXTREMELY anxious when I have to do presentations (heart racing, shallow breathing, extreme nervousness) and I thought those were ''panic attacks'' until I actually had one. I don''t know how it feels for everyone else (I would assume it''s similar) but a panic attack is about 50x worse than that nervousness/anxiety before presentations.

Oh absolutely, it''s not even in the same realm, IMO! You feel like you may actually be having a heart attack. They can be scary!

I''m glad you haven''t had one in a while... they are just miserable! The one last night happened after an particularly emotional episode of "Intervention"

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:57:57 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

Thanks B.

Whats the status on the job you applied for? Any news??

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:01:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:57:57 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

Thanks B.

Whats the status on the job you applied for? Any news??

NADA

I applied online on Thursday...not sure how long it takes to hear back if they show interest. It''s the NYC Dept of Health, so it could take a while. I''d love to work there but I''m afraid to be too excited for fear I won''t hear back, you know? I hate being rejected! LOL

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:05:17 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 11:01:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:57:57 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

Thanks B.

Whats the status on the job you applied for? Any news??

NADA

I applied online on Thursday...not sure how long it takes to hear back if they show interest. It''s the NYC Dept of Health, so it could take a while. I''d love to work there but I''m afraid to be too excited for fear I won''t hear back, you know? I hate being rejected! LOL

Probably weeks... at the very least.

I hear you! I''ve been applying for jobs here and there and haven''t heard back AT ALL. I haven''t let myself get excited, because I realize there are NO jobs in Michigan, and a call back is really unlikely right now.

I just applied for a victim rights/witness advocate position for my county. I would LOVE this job... but am trying not to even think about it.

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:05:17 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 11:01:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:57:57 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

Thanks B.

Whats the status on the job you applied for? Any news??

NADA

I applied online on Thursday...not sure how long it takes to hear back if they show interest. It''s the NYC Dept of Health, so it could take a while. I''d love to work there but I''m afraid to be too excited for fear I won''t hear back, you know? I hate being rejected! LOL

They will probably send you a letter letting you know they''ve received your application and that it''s being processed.
NYC loves doing that.

And then in a month they will call you.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:07:54 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 11:05:17 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 11:01:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:57:57 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

Thanks B.

Whats the status on the job you applied for? Any news??

NADA

I applied online on Thursday...not sure how long it takes to hear back if they show interest. It''s the NYC Dept of Health, so it could take a while. I''d love to work there but I''m afraid to be too excited for fear I won''t hear back, you know? I hate being rejected! LOL

Probably weeks... at the very least.

I hear you! I''ve been applying for jobs here and there and haven''t heard back AT ALL. I haven''t let myself get excited, because I realize there are NO jobs in Michigan, and a call back is really unlikely right now.

I just applied for a victim rights/witness advocate position for my county. I would LOVE this job... but am trying not to even think about it.

I know, me too! Applied at three places, no call backs so far

I would love to work at the Dept of Health...and if I do get a job there (pleeeeeease!!!), or in a hospital/non-profit, I think I''ll go back for a second Masters in Public Health or Epidemiology. Based on my current field of study, while I love the work, I know I won''t love working in a compltely corporate setting. Which is too bad b/c that''s where all the money is!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:14:36 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 11:07:54 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 11:05:17 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 11:01:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:57:57 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

Thanks B.

Whats the status on the job you applied for? Any news??

NADA

I applied online on Thursday...not sure how long it takes to hear back if they show interest. It''s the NYC Dept of Health, so it could take a while. I''d love to work there but I''m afraid to be too excited for fear I won''t hear back, you know? I hate being rejected! LOL

Probably weeks... at the very least.

I hear you! I''ve been applying for jobs here and there and haven''t heard back AT ALL. I haven''t let myself get excited, because I realize there are NO jobs in Michigan, and a call back is really unlikely right now.

I just applied for a victim rights/witness advocate position for my county. I would LOVE this job... but am trying not to even think about it.

I know, me too! Applied at three places, no call backs so far

I would love to work at the Dept of Health...and if I do get a job there (pleeeeeease!!!), or in a hospital/non-profit, I think I''ll go back for a second Masters in Public Health or Epidemiology. Based on my current field of study, while I love the work, I know I won''t love working in a compltely corporate setting. Which is too bad b/c that''s where all the money is!

I''d love to work for the department of human services. The thing is.. if I work for the county (the one I applied for) I get 50% off tuition.. so I can get my MSW.

I considered MPH because I found my medical sociology class so interesting!

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:09:53 AM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 7/14/2009 11:05:17 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 11:01:41 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:57:57 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/14/2009 10:48:56 AM
Author: elledizzy5

They''re not fun. My chest gets really tight, I feel like I cant breathe or swallow, my heart races, and I start sobbing uncontrollably because of an impending feeling of doom. The more wound-up you get, the worse they get. I have to really focus to try and regulate my breathing. Just ''in... out....'' That helps bring me back to reality.

It is especially not fun to get them at work.

Sorry babes...

I hope you never have one again (hugs)

Thanks B.

Whats the status on the job you applied for? Any news??

NADA

I applied online on Thursday...not sure how long it takes to hear back if they show interest. It''s the NYC Dept of Health, so it could take a while. I''d love to work there but I''m afraid to be too excited for fear I won''t hear back, you know? I hate being rejected! LOL

They will probably send you a letter letting you know they''ve received your application and that it''s being processed.
NYC loves doing that.

And then in a month they will call you.

Well I got the standard "Thank you for your interest at the NYC Dept of Health and Mental Hygiene. We received your application and have added you to our searchable database...."

And now, I wait...

 

[Bia]

Elle, did you finish planning your honeymoon yet?

FI and I were talking and he said he'd like to do a week in Canada (December in Quebec >>) and then a week somewhere HOT where I can walk around practically naked

Two-week honeymoon??? Is that pretty standard?

 

[Lauren8211]

So far I''ve applied for the advocate position, an academic advising position, benefits/hr position, and I think one other position and have heard nothing.

I''m going to be stuck at my current job forever.

 

[CNOS128]

Bia, Elle, you will both get fabulous, non-corporate, non-law-firm jobs!! I asked my magic 8 ball.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:22:27 AM
Author: Bia
Elle, did you finish planning your honeymoon yet?

FI and I were talking and he said he''d like to do a week in Canada (December in Quebec <<<brrr>>>) and then a week somewhere HOT where I can walk around practically naked

Two-week honeymoon??? Is that pretty standard?

I''d say that''s normal. We are only doing 1 week, but that''s because our wedding came up so fast we haven''t had time to save for anything longer.

I''m trying to plan but FI is making it difficult. I can''t get him to sit down and make a decision. His ADD is making planning hard at times. We need our invites done, and that''s taking forever.... and I can''t do anything to expedite it because I don''t know photoshop.

The cold-to-hot honeymoon would be fun! It would also destroy my sinuses.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:24:54 AM
Author: TheBigT
Bia, Elle, you will both get fabulous, non-corporate, non-law-firm jobs!! I asked my magic 8 ball.

After working in the law firm I work at now. I would never, ever, ever entertain the idea of going to law school. EVER!

I like your Magic 8 ball.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 11:23:16 AM
Author: elledizzy5
So far I''ve applied for the advocate position, an academic advising position, benefits/hr position, and I think one other position and have heard nothing.

I''m going to be stuck at my current job forever.

I applied for a Associate Staff Analyst position (''Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff''). I even googled the people in those positions right now and actually found some of them. Then I searched them on FB. Am I craZy?

Yes. I know I am.