So moms, are you a total "sap" now after having children?

[fieryred33143]

In other words, are you really sensitive?
Were you really sensitive before?
Are you about the same now?

I was reading 19 Minutes as part of a book club. It''s about a tragedy that occurs in a high school and goes into details about a boy that was picked on starting in elementary school. I couldn''t do it anymore. I kept thinking to myself what would happen if DD gets picked on when she goes to school and I swear the words "home school" entered my brain just to shelter her from bullies and I started crying.

I was never like this before. I was the kind of person that hated happy endings in movies because it was so "predictable"

 

[Pandora II]

Far, far worse...

I watched ''Casualty'' the other night (like ER) and the main scenario was one of the doctors having a car crash and ending up in a frozen lake with his wife, two kids and a small baby. The kids got out, but the car went under the ice... all I could think about was the baby and I felt sick.

They all got out eventually, but the baby died later in hospital.

I would have watched it fairly emotionlessly in the past, or at least realised it was just TV!

 

[ChinaCat]

Me too, me too!!!

Was NOT sensitive before. Not a crier at all. Now anything that has to do with babies or kids and I'm a mess. CANNOT read anything about violence or abuse to kids.

For example, a friend was telling me about the movie Precious, which I previously wanted to see. They made a slight mention of some abuse that went on and it was like a switch, floodgates of tears. This was at work, mind you. Along with that was a searing heat of anger that went through me. Guess that's the mother protective instinct, huh? Anyways, can't see that movie. Can barely watch the news anymore either.

You know, you read all about changes to your body during pregnancy and PP, but I think someone should have warned me about all of the other changes. To my identity most of all. I'm like, who IS this person?

ETA: Fiery, I read that book pre-preggo and barely gave it a thought. You're right, probably couldn't handle it now. Or any of her books probably, now that I think about it!!!!

EETA: OH God, does this mean our moms were probably actually cool and normal before us and WE made them into the worried over-protective dorks we thought they were????

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I was a sap even before! I do think crimes against children are even more upsetting now that I have a child though.

 

[somethingshiny]

In general, I think I''m much more cut and dry now. Becoming a mother really brought out the "right and wrong" for me. The only thing I think I became sensitive about is true crime. I have an extensive collection of true crime. I would latch on to a particular case and read everything I could about it. Now, I can''t even pick up one of those books.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 1/4/2010 3:54:23 PM
Author: Pandora II
Far, far worse...

I watched ''Casualty'' the other night (like ER) and the main scenario was one of the doctors having a car crash and ending up in a frozen lake with his wife, two kids and a small baby. The kids got out, but the car went under the ice... all I could think about was the baby and I felt sick.

They all got out eventually, but the baby died later in hospital.

I would have watched it fairly emotionlessly in the past, or at least realised it was just TV!

I saw that episode too. It had me awake and worrying half the night. I probably wouldn''t have given it a second thought before I had a baby. It was heartbreaking.

 

[TravelingGal]

I''ve said this before, but basically before I had kids, I''d cry when I''d read horrible stories in the news about children. Now I can''t even read them...I''m a wreck when I do so.

I think it comes from watching your babies sleep. Is there anything more peaceful and wonderful than watching a child slumber? And is there a greater ache in your heart when you realize there is only so much you can do to keep them safe and peaceful always?

Ugh, I''m not cut out for this.

 

[ericad]

Add me to the list!

It started when I was pregnant and never left me. I sob uncontrollably if I see anything tragic on TV or even remotely sad in person. My husband is also way more sensitive now too, so we are two big cry babies when anything sad to do with children crosses our path. I prefer to avoid it altogether, but then I watch the news and hear about the Shania Davis' of the world (only one among the many recent kids in the news) or flip on Gray's Anatomy or some random movie and I just come unglued and want to pack up my kiddo and move to a remote island somewhere.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/4/2010 6:36:25 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I''ve said this before, but basically before I had kids, I''d cry when I''d read horrible stories in the news about children. Now I can''t even read them...I''m a wreck when I do so.

I think it comes from watching your babies sleep. Is there anything more peaceful and wonderful than watching a child slumber? And is there a greater ache in your heart when you realize there is only so much you can do to keep them safe and peaceful always?

Ugh, I''m not cut out for this.

I feel the same way and my kids are grown.

I think once you become a parent, it''s just how it is. You always worry, you always care. If that''s being a sap, well I am a sap, LOL!!! And darn proud of it.

 

[vespergirl]

Definitely - I was abused and bullied as a child, so I''ve always been sensitive to those injustices, but now that I have a child, I am even more so. I think that it has made me a little overprotective of my son, but I think that''s better than the alternative.

If I ever read anything about children being hurt or abused, it is incredibly upsetting to me. I am also more upset when I see illness in children - another Picoult book, My Sister''s Keeper, really killed me.

 

[packrat]

Things w/kids always bothered me, but after having my own, it''s become so much worse. To the point where I wonder if I shouldn''t maybe see a therapist about it or something. Reading news articles about things that people do to kids keeps me up at night and I''ll just lay there and cry. The Mystery Diagnosis shows on Discovery always have me in tears if they''re about kids, and also those shows about..well, there was one about a little girl who had a tumor on her face and it was slowly killing her, and one about a little girl who was born that had basically no face and all the surgeries and I felt so awful for her..I just sat in my chair and sobbed, but I couldn''t change the channel.

 

[jewelz617]

Every time I hear about a missing or hurt, murdered, abused child I cry for days. I can''t handle it.

 

[taovandel]

love Picoult novels by the way.

I''m a sap now..I can barely say some things to Evan without crying (like whispering to him about things I want for him when he gets older)...I was super hard core before getting pregnant....

 

[curlygirl]

Date: 1/4/2010 6:36:25 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I''ve said this before, but basically before I had kids, I''d cry when I''d read horrible stories in the news about children. Now I can''t even read them...I''m a wreck when I do so.

I think it comes from watching your babies sleep. Is there anything more peaceful and wonderful than watching a child slumber? And is there a greater ache in your heart when you realize there is only so much you can do to keep them safe and peaceful always?

Ugh, I''m not cut out for this.

Ditto!!!

Also, I can''t watch violence of ANY kind anymore. I was never a huge fan of violent movies but now even the littlest things have me turning away or covering my eyes.

Another Picoult fan here and let me tell you, I cried through the entire book of My Sister''s Keeper and was a hysterical, sobbing mess at the end to the point that DH was worried about me. Ugh, total sap but I just can''t handle anything like that.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Alright ladies, you're freaking me out

I'm already a sap and can't watch scary movies. What is in store for me when we have a little one?!?!?!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/4/2010 10:27:00 PM
Author: taovandel
love Picoult novels by the way.

I''m a sap now..I can barely say some things to Evan without crying (like whispering to him about things I want for him when he gets older)...I was super hard core before getting pregnant....

Ha, I just put Amelia to bed a little bit ago. TGuy wasn''t home yet and I was about to say bedtime when she just came over to me and hugged me (I''m sure this was a stall tactic, but I''m not one to ever turn down a hug, kiss or cuddle). We just sat there hugging and still for a little bit and I simply whispered, "I love you, always." And then I started crying.

Do tear ducts or something get bigger when you have children? Gah.

 

[packrat]

I bought this book for London for her 1st Christmas when she was not quite a month old. The very last sentence is "Now sleep, child of mine, while the stars shine above-I love you as much as a mother can love." And I don''t think, of all the times I''ve read it to her, I can say that line w/out my throat closing up and my eyes stinging.

There''s a Pampers commercial they play during the Christmas season of babies sleeping, and it is enough to make me bawl. Those little faces and teeny little puckered mouths..sigh..

 

[NakedFinger]

Haha i cant speak from personal experience because I dont have kids yet, but my parents tell me this all the time. My dad was mr. macho in HS when my parents started dating. Such a tough guy. Now he cries at b-day cards, father of the bride (every time, lol), when all 6 kids are over for dinner and he just watches us, etc. Both of them are just big piles of sappy love when it comes to children. Crying about everything (recently for my mom, every episode of A Baby Story, lol)

I told my mom once that I wish my SO would be that emotional when we have kids, but he said he doesnt seem like "the type" to cry at every recital, card, etc. And she said, "are you kidding? daddy wasnt either. I say all the time he isnt the man I married 27 years ago (in a good way). Trust me, it will come when you have kids". I guess we''ll see...

 

[Mara]

you girls are scaring me. i am not a sap at all, but i have caught myself reading birth stories and other kid related stuff to greg and choking up on certain things. picking out a card for greg at xmas had me all teary eyed. rats i'm doomed.

 

[lilylover]

I think I am in big trouble. I don''t have children and don''t want them for a few years, but just reading some of the posts in this thread is making me tear up! Uh-oh.

 

[PrettyBlues]

My baby isn''t here yet, but I have turned into a total sap these past few months. I was hoping it would go away after he is born, but I guess it doesn''t seem likely!

My SO and I were watching Desperate Housewives on Sunday, and one of the characters went into pre-term labour with her twins. As soon as they said she had do this for the babies, I started literally sobbing. And then when she lost one of them, I was crying again. Luckily for me, my SO gave me hugs and cuddles even though he most likely thought I was certifiable

I have also been waiting to read both My Sister''s Keeper and The Lovely Bones, but I guess there will never be a good time again for books like that.

 

[Jas12]

Oh Gosh YES!!!! Esp when it comes to stories about kids!

I wasn''t much of a sap pre-kids. Not hard as stone or anything, but not easily provoked to tear-up. Now it takes very little. Even a commercial for goodness sakes

Just before xmas a little boy fell over a railing at the Toronto airport. He was in his mom''s arms when it happened and she was dragging a suitcase while walking by the railing holding him in the other arm and he squirmed and fell to his death. That story would have made me feel sad before having kids, but now, as a mother, it made me physically ill. Really, i couldn''t listen to reports. I just couldn''t imagine the pain.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 1/4/2010 11:24:17 PM
Author: packrat
There''s a Pampers commercial they play during the Christmas season of babies sleeping, and it is enough to make me bawl. Those little faces and teeny little puckered mouths..sigh..

I LOVE that commercial! I will stop whatever I am doing just to watch it. Gah, they are so cute, their little mouths sucking even in sleep.

I am a big sap anyway, but since I have been pregnant everything makes me cry. EVERYTHING. I found a blog a few days ago about a mother of a baby with a heart condition, that fought the good fight for a year before finally passing away. I was all but hysterical, and my husband was asleep next to me so I was trying soooo hard to be quiet. And Micah was moving and kicking all over in my belly, like he felt my anxiety. I wish I could just put him in a bubble once he comes out!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/4/2010 11:24:17 PM
Author: packrat
I bought this book for London for her 1st Christmas when she was not quite a month old. The very last sentence is ''Now sleep, child of mine, while the stars shine above-I love you as much as a mother can love.'' And I don''t think, of all the times I''ve read it to her, I can say that line w/out my throat closing up and my eyes stinging.

There''s a Pampers commercial they play during the Christmas season of babies sleeping, and it is enough to make me bawl. Those little faces and teeny little puckered mouths..sigh..

I love that commercial! It is the cutest thing ever. I''m going to have to get that book!

 

[ChinaCat]

Jas12- See that''s just the kind of story that makes my physically sick. The grief that poor mom must be going through. The intense feelings of protection overwhelm me sometimes.

Fiery and Packrat- Have you guys read the book "On The Night You Were Born"? Oh man, I read it to my son when he was a newborn and had tears literally streaming down my face. It''s so beautiful. I give it to everyone as a gift now.

 

[D2B]

A total sap!!!!!

before I was sorry for bad things that happend to children / parents on an intellectual level, now I am just an emotional mess. I feel bad if I see children being put down by their parents verbally, let alone even more horrible things that happen. world famine, wars etc they have so much more emotional impact now that I am a mother, I just cant begin to imagine how those other mothers are coping and what would I do if the same happend to me and my child.

 

[msb700]

Date: 1/4/2010 11:13:54 PM
Author: TravelingGal


Ha, I just put Amelia to bed a little bit ago. TGuy wasn''t home yet and I was about to say bedtime when she just came over to me and hugged me (I''m sure this was a stall tactic, but I''m not one to ever turn down a hug, kiss or cuddle). We just sat there hugging and still for a little bit and I simply whispered, ''I love you, always.'' And then I started crying.


Do tear ducts or something get bigger when you have children? Gah.

TGal: I read this and started bawling my eyes out...i think this is proof enuf of what i have become after becoming a mama...

 

[lyra]

I didn't think I was much of a sap, but I do remember a particularly sad incident from the past. We went to the library for a "story time" when the girls were quite young, maybe 5 and 3. The book was Munsch's "I'll Love You Forever". I never read it before. Well, I was bawling my eyes out by the end. Look it up if you haven't read it yet. Man, it was awful (for me!!).

I also once followed a boy home from the bus stop to confront his mother upon hearing that he had hit my youngest daughter on her way home from school the previous day. I stood on her doorstep and actually yelled at her, told her to get her kid in anger management and such! Can't believe I did that.

 

[asscherisme]

Yes, totally. I have always been sensitive to kids issues. but now when I hear new stories about bad things happeneing to kids, abuse, etc It tears me apart. Espeically when the kids are the same age as mine. Nothing like being a mom to make you learn what worrying is all about!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I''m sensitive about stupid stuff now, like babies and puppies etc. I cried the other day in BRU when I saw some itty bitty baby socks. If I''m this bad now, I can''t imagine how bad I''ll be once I have a kid.