please send prayers & positive thoughts for my dad...

[kaylagee]

my dad (i mentioned in another thread a few weeks ago that he has cancer) went back and was admitted to the hospital today again. things aren''t looking so great. :/ even with the chemo his doctor is giving us only a few months. he''s lost/is losing so much weight! (has very little appetite..it''s hard to figure if it''s all the disease & chemo or if it''s depression & his pain killers too/..probably a blend of the above) and is very weak.

the drs. are now trying to figure out if the stress of the chemo is even worth the dip in quality of life left. he had surgery last summer but when they went in the found that the cancer had already spread to his liver, stomach and lower lungs.

so, today his dr. said if there''s no improvement soon they''ll just stop treatment. My mom is doing really awesome considering everything(they have/had a business too). I''m just feeling spaced-out with a huge lump in my chest(it''s been like this a little for awhile but now it''s worse... the visit today felt so hopeless). It''s so weird too because I''ve never had anyone close to me so sick like this. i guess i''ve been fortunate until now.

i''m helping and trying to be upbeat as much as possible but there''s that feeling of uselessness that there''s nothing I/we can do to get him back to health.

I''ll appreciate any positive thoughts/energy and prayers for my dad! TIA

Best, k

 

[Kaleigh]

Oh Kaylagee,
I am so very sorry. I have been there with cancer many times. Best advice as a caregiver myself is to get hospice involved. They will allow your dad to go in peace and with dignity. They are wonderful at controlling pain and any other issues that come up. They have been a huge help to me in taking care of my Nanny. I also can tell you as a care giver that you need to take care of yourself. They can help with that as well. I am glad your mom is doing so well under the circumstances. You have a wonderful family and lots of support. I just found out my mom is very ill too. I am not sure I know how to cope with that yet. But god bless and my prayers are with you and your dad. Big hugs!! Lisa

 

[decodelighted]

I''m so sorry you & your family are going through this! Sending my best wishes ....

 

[bookworm21]

Kayla, I''m sorry about your dad. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you and your family to be going through this.

My thoughts and prayers are with your father. Please feel free to share any thoughts or feelings when you need to.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Kaylagee

sorry to hear this kind of news.yes, try to stay upbeat as much as possible.

 

[strmrdr]

prayers outgoing.

 

[Jelly]

Kayla I''m so sorry to hear this. Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[movie zombie]

good thoughts outgoing.

movie zombie

 

[Lorelei]

Kaylagee I too have been in this terrible situation with this disease afflicting a beloved parent and I know how devastated you must be feeling. Prayers are outgoing and if you want to chat you know where I am.

 

[sunkist]

Kaylagee, my heart and prayers are going out to your father, you and your family. Let him know how much you love him. When a family goes through something like this, I think your love for eachother is what matters most.

 

[blodthecat]

Hi kaylagee,

I know how terrible this feels, watching someone you love go through this. I am keeping you in my thoughts and in my prayers.

love Bloddie

 

[iceprincess]

Kaylagee, you and your family are definately in my thoughts and prayers.
Kaleigh, I''m praying for your mom, too.

 

[AGBF]

I am so sorry. It is so totally awful to be helpless in the face of a disease taking away someone you love. Keep telling him how much you love him, sweetheart. I will be thinking of and praying for him, you, and your family.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[valeria101]

Date: 2/2/2006 1:03:22 AM
Author:kaylagee

I''m just feeling spaced-out with a huge lump in my chest(it''s been like this a little for awhile but now it''s worse... the visit today felt so hopeless). It''s so weird too because I''ve never had anyone close to me so sick like this. i guess i''ve been fortunate until now.

Yes... you were lucky. I''ve been through this with close relatives (parents are OK, knock wood) and I can tell you that the six''th time was no easier then the first. It helped to make the best of every day and make so that wishes (mine and theirs) are met and enjoyed, that nothing remains untold and we speak our heart without holding back regardless.

I am praying for your strength

 

[crafftygrrl]

Kaylagee,

Prayers and best wishes outgoing.

I know this is really awful time in your (and your family''s) life. You need to be strong and help your parents as best you can.
When my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers, I was devastated. But, I had to get through my emotions, so I could help.

When my Mom when into hospice, I traveled to Florida to help my Dad. It was one of the hardest, yet best things I have ever done in my life.

One thing that I did do is to knit the most complicated sweater I have ever made in my life. Concentrating on something like knitting is very grounding, and kept my mind from getting too emotional when things got rough. My Dad and I also went birding and walked wildlife refuges to put life into a better perspective. The key is to find something that will work for you -- an outlet, so you can have some respite. I hope this helps.

I wish you the best.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

It''s awful to see a loved one suffer. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Gemklctr]

I am so very sorry you and your family have to go through this. We lost my Dad last September after a lengthy illness. Those of us in the family that have been able to deal with it best are the ones who were able to spend the most time with him over the last months. Every family situation is different, and I don''t know your living/working/location of parents circumstances, but I know it helped me tremendously that I was able to move my parents into my home and make sure my Dad was taken care of by family, the same way he had taken care of us throughout his life. You''ll never regret the minutes you can spend with your Dad now, whether there is improvement in his condition or, and especially, not.

That said, I second Lisa''s comments re a hospice if, unfortunately, things go that way. It was very helpful when we lost my first wife''s father.

My prayers for you, your Dad and your family, and for you and your mom and family too Lisa.

 

[fountainfairfax]

I am sorry so to hear about your Dad. The feeling of being powerless during times like these can be overwhelming and you have to remember that it''s ok to feel however you want- sad, angry, confused or just stunned, as you are now. You will be such a comfort to Dad just by being with him now, that''s the greatest gift he could ask for.

Try to take care of yourself as well during this difficult time and know that we are all thinking of you, Dad and your family.

 

[mrssalvo]

prayers for you, your family and your dad..

 

[ame]

Oh man, so sorry to read this.


~~~~****Positive Vibes!****~~~~

 

[monarch64]

Kaylagee, sending my positive thoughts and prayers your way, and your father''s way too. I, too, have been in your shoes with having a father who''s struggled with cancer for the last two years... I understand the feeling of uselessness. You may not be able to save your dad or make his cancer go away, but you can focus on doing everything you can to be there and support him and try to lift his spirits.

I say this as though it''s easy to go and see your dad in the shape he''s in and try to be cheerful. I remember visiting my dad in the hospital and just trying so hard not to cry every minute I was with him some days. He is also the first person close to me that I have gone through a serious illness with. What helped me was to talk to other people, and my mom put together a small photo album of pictures of happy moments in our family''s life for us to look at with him. As depressed and low as he ever felt, he would still look at the pictures and smile, and we knew that for a minute he was able to think about a happy thought, something other than all the pain and discomfort he was going through physically.

Hang in there, Kayla--{{{hugs}}} wish I could make you feel better! Take care of yourself.

 

[moon river]

I''m so sad to hear this Kaylagee.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


Just a note about painkillers. I am recuperating from 2nd and 3rd degree burns over a large part of my right side and have been on every painkiller they have from morphine to vicoden and let me tell you, it makes you sooo sick and mentally it does alot too. I''ve had depression and mood swings for months because of them.

I''m sure the treatments on top of all that is enough to weaken anyone. I hope they find some combination of things to help him while not making him feel so weak and sick. Your mental state has alot to do with physical recovery.

 

[orangevixen]

Kayla -

I''m so sorry to hear that you all have to go through this...You and your family are in my thoughts.

 

[Patty]

I''m so sorry to hear that, kaylagee. And Lisa, I''m sorry to hear about your mom too.

I''ll be thinking of you both.

I like craftygirl''s suggestion to do something that helps YOU at this time. I found that walking/hiking helped me a lot when we were losing my mom.

 

[flower12]

Kaylagee, I am so sorry to hear that.....
my heart and prayers are going out to your father you and your family

 

[curlygirl]

Oh, Kaylagee, I''m so sorry to hear this news. I will keep you, your father and your family in my prayers.

 

[kaylagee]

Thanks so much for all of your prayers and well-wishes! the dr. says he should be able to take the chemo by the weekend/early next week...they''re going to do 3-4 more runs of it and then see what happens.

I''m sharing your lovely notes and advice with my mom too! Feels good that it gets beyond sparklies here(yes, diamonds rule but..sigh)

best,
k

 

[Shay37]

Prayers for all of your family. You mom and you for strength and peace, and your dad for healing.

shay

 

[pebbles]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[sevens one]

K I''m so very sorry about your Dad''s illness.
This is going to be such a tough time for you.
(((((((***hugs***)))))))