ulualoha
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2005
- Messages
- 274
Hi Everyone,
Ok I have a complicated situation that I really need advice on. I ask your patience as I try to give an abridged version of the situation. I have an engagement ring from a person that I am no longer with. Even though he cheated while we were engaged, I offered to return the ring, my only stipulation was that he pays for the postage/insurance (he lived out of state). He refused to do so and asked me to meet him halfway between CA and NV in a little town called Calico...basically the middle of the desert. I should add that this man lied to me when I first met him on Eharmony saying he was divorced...I later found out much later on that he wasn''t (which is against the policy of Eharmony).
When I first met him, he was the classic case of being ten years older and 30 pounds heavier than the picture he posted. But looks is not the most important thing to me so I ignored it...but it should have been a warning sign of what was yet to come as the writing was already on the wall. Here''s a little more background of what I dealt with while I was with him...a poor choice on my part- I know.
We emailed back and forth for quite a while and talked on the phone and then he flew out to meet me for the first time. We actually hit it off quite well. By the end of his trip, he and I had agreed we were in a committed relationship. After he returned home he called and told me after we spent the weekend together, he had a one night stand.
He said he was sorry and he wouldn''t talk to her anymore...big surprise, he lied again. She called his cell phone the next time he was visiting me. He promised again to not speak to her anymore...this time, as far as I know, he kept his word. For a while he seemed normal and I wasn''t catching him in lies. We got engaged on New Years Eve and then shortly afterwards, I found his profile on Yahoo Personals following my gut instinct. It showed the last time he logged in and it was the day I found it.
I called him on it...and that was the end of the relationship- I know, long over due!
Anyhow, getting back to the ring...I was admittedly hardheaded about being the one that should be saddled with returning it or meeting him in the desert to return it to him...oh yeah, forgot another lie (so to speak), he carried guns on him at all times, without a permit. So knowing that....that whole idea of meeting in the desert was a big NO. I even stayed with friends for a little while as I wasn''t sure what he was capable of. So after exchanging many emails, he sent me a nasty email and said I could keep it. Shortly after he sent that email, he got married. He has periodically sent me emails which I have ignored. He scared me so badly with some of his emails and phone calls I reported him to my security department at work.
Fastforward to now...I have since married (in December) to a wonderful man but I still have that ring sitting in a drawer collecting dust. My concern is that being as spiteful as I saw him be when we were arguing about how he would get the ring back, I wonder if he reported it stolen so that if I ever did anything with it I would get in trouble. I have saved all the emails from him so I would have proof of the situation but I really don''t want to go there if you know what I mean. So I guess I am wondering what I should do? I thought about making it into a right hand ring. I don''t have any of the paperwork or stats on the stone. I don''t even know how big the stone is...but it''s pretty and it seems a shame for it to be collecting dust for 3 years now.
Does anyone have any advice? Can a trace be put on a stone like the microchips that are in pets? I just assume let it collect dust if there is any chance he might have done something spiteful. I really appreciate any advice you can give....and yes, I more than learned my lesson from this situation.
Please try not to be too hard on me for my bad judgment.
Thanks in advance,
ulualoha
Ok I have a complicated situation that I really need advice on. I ask your patience as I try to give an abridged version of the situation. I have an engagement ring from a person that I am no longer with. Even though he cheated while we were engaged, I offered to return the ring, my only stipulation was that he pays for the postage/insurance (he lived out of state). He refused to do so and asked me to meet him halfway between CA and NV in a little town called Calico...basically the middle of the desert. I should add that this man lied to me when I first met him on Eharmony saying he was divorced...I later found out much later on that he wasn''t (which is against the policy of Eharmony).
We emailed back and forth for quite a while and talked on the phone and then he flew out to meet me for the first time. We actually hit it off quite well. By the end of his trip, he and I had agreed we were in a committed relationship. After he returned home he called and told me after we spent the weekend together, he had a one night stand.
Anyhow, getting back to the ring...I was admittedly hardheaded about being the one that should be saddled with returning it or meeting him in the desert to return it to him...oh yeah, forgot another lie (so to speak), he carried guns on him at all times, without a permit. So knowing that....that whole idea of meeting in the desert was a big NO. I even stayed with friends for a little while as I wasn''t sure what he was capable of. So after exchanging many emails, he sent me a nasty email and said I could keep it. Shortly after he sent that email, he got married. He has periodically sent me emails which I have ignored. He scared me so badly with some of his emails and phone calls I reported him to my security department at work.
Fastforward to now...I have since married (in December) to a wonderful man but I still have that ring sitting in a drawer collecting dust. My concern is that being as spiteful as I saw him be when we were arguing about how he would get the ring back, I wonder if he reported it stolen so that if I ever did anything with it I would get in trouble. I have saved all the emails from him so I would have proof of the situation but I really don''t want to go there if you know what I mean. So I guess I am wondering what I should do? I thought about making it into a right hand ring. I don''t have any of the paperwork or stats on the stone. I don''t even know how big the stone is...but it''s pretty and it seems a shame for it to be collecting dust for 3 years now.
Thanks in advance,
ulualoha