MEN! - a vent

[trillionaire]

So, a week and a half ago, I get a message from a friends boyfriend asking how I was, and if I was going to be in the area anytime soon, and by soon, he meant the upcoming weekend for a VERY BIG SURPRISE! (read: engagement!). I''ve known his GF since I was 15, we were in HS together, our moms were good friends before their family moved out of state, and my brother took her to homecoming and prom when he was in HS! So, this is a really good family friend who I love to death, and I REALLY like her BF (and I usually don''t like ANYONE''s BFs!), so I decide to make the 4 hour drive to go celebrate with them. I asked him if he was 100% certain that this would be worth the trip (I had already been out of town 2 out of the last 3 weekends), and he said definitely yes.

So I was thrilled!

I get into town, and two hours after I get there, he sends me a text saying the plans have been postponed for a few weeks, due to car problems, ring issues, and not having talked to her parents yet.


WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!

Can someone PLEASE tell me why you would be inviting people to celebrate a proposal when you have NO ring and you have NOT talked to her parents???
So I can presume that I was invited to the engagement celebration, but her parents were not??? WHAT?!?!?!

Like I said, I''ve known this family for years... my friend is an only child with VERY overbearing parents, and they would absolutely travel crazy distances and do ANYTHING to be included...

Now, the only upside to this story was that I got to spend the weekend with my SO, and I was sick, so he took care of me all weekend, but I was still PISSED that I drove 4 hours for no reason. I am only working part-time and money is VERY tight! So when I felt better and got back home, I called him to see WHAT in the world was going on!?!

He had a tire blow out... ok, unforseeable... but it was on the way to visit her parents. He called them and left a message to say he was coming on Thursday evening, but didn''t mention that it was a secret or not to mention to his GF, so they called her and asked why he was going to be in town.

The ring: She wanted a Cushion cut ring, so that''s what he was having sourced for her. He talked to a jeweler who had 3 cushions in stock, so he was going to stop by and pick one out. When he called back to speak with the jeweler, they had all been sold. And it sounded like they were loose diamonds, so really, he had no diamond OR ring picked out, but was making plans with other people?!?!?!?!?! Sheeeeeesh!


MEN!!!! I swear! When do they grown up and get some common sense? This guy is in his 30''s! Geeeeeez!

 

[Tuckins1]

Men-Common sense?.....

I don''t think they ever really get it... Maybe some, but the rest of them-

 

[NakedFinger]

Thats like when men say (at 27) when you ask where you see yourself by the time your 30, "Oh I see myself married with two kids". Ummmm dont your realize you have to PROPOPSE, plan the wedding for at least a year, get married, try to concieve, get pregnant, and then it takes 9 months to give birth! Its like, you realize you are already late right? LOL Men have no sense of time.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 6/4/2009 4:37:51 PM
Author: Tuckins1
Men-Common sense?.....

I don''t think they ever really get it... Maybe some, but the rest of them-

nope. they dont. my father, the wonderful man he is, put plastic in the microwave monday.

they never learn...

 

[princesss]

I can definitely see my BF doing that. Just thinking it would all work out just because he wants it to, and then...poof. Plans go up in smoke.

Crazy, crazy menfolk.

 

[miss_flo]

That''s terrible trill! It was irresponsible of him to involve other people in something that he hadn''t 100% prepared for. I admire his thought process (inviting friends) and applaud him for moving forward with his relationship, but he should have been beyond confident with the plans he made before inviting others. I don''t know about you, but the gas prices here in California are back up toe $3.00/gallon so a four hour drive would have seriously killed my bank account. The fact that he thought he could just go and pick up a loose stone just confuses me, but I digress - I know that not all guys understand the buying process. I hope that he is a little more prepared next time!

 

[Squirrly]

Date: 6/4/2009 4:33:47 PM
Author:trillionaire
MEN!!!! I swear! When do they grown up and get some common sense? This guy is in his 30''s! Geeeeeez!

i believe this is where the 8 ball says "doubtful"

however if you can invent a common sense pill you''d be unimaginably wealthy and be on oprah at least once to talk about your motivation for designing it.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/4/2009 5:29:56 PM
Author: news_girl
That''s terrible trill! It was irresponsible of him to involve other people in something that he hadn''t 100% prepared for. I admire his thought process (inviting friends) and applaud him for moving forward with his relationship, but he should have been beyond confident with the plans he made before inviting others. I don''t know about you, but the gas prices here in California are back up toe $3.00/gallon so a four hour drive would have seriously killed my bank account. The fact that he thought he could just go and pick up a loose stone just confuses me, but I digress - I know that not all guys understand the buying process. I hope that he is a little more prepared next time!

News girl, you have no idea! I''ve been to DC THREE times this month, in addition to NYC and Charlotte, oh, and don''t forget the pet sitter that I had to pay! And work has been SLOW because I am in a college town and it''s summer now

So yeah, gas is a BIG issue for me!

The upside to this whole debacle is that I think that he and his GF and her family are all talking and on the same page, so he''s not trying to rush and ''make'' things happen magically anymore. THANK GOD. Geez, talk about EPIC FAIL! Honestly, she might be better off getting a surprise proposal and picking the ring out together afterwards!


NakedFinger, your post had me dying laughing!!! I swear, putting up with men is a full time job, and everyday, I thank my lucky stars that I only have to deal with the one I have! HAHAHA!

 

[purrfectpear]

Tell me you ladies aren''t seriously complaining that the guy screwed this up

Given the fact that PS is full of LIW whose BF''s have NO idea if they''re going to propose ever, I''m going to give this guy a complete pass on the screw up and an E for effort.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/4/2009 6:50:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Tell me you ladies aren't seriously complaining that the guy screwed this up

Given the fact that PS is full of LIW whose BF's have NO idea if they're going to propose ever, I'm going to give this guy a complete pass on the screw up and an E for effort.

sometimes it is good to have a reminder that men and women are clearly totally different SPECIES! And yes, I can complain because he involved ME! The GF was no worse for the wear, but I travelled eight hours r/t and didn't even get to see pretty sparkles or a happy friend?

ARGH!!! Stoopid boys and their stoopid boy proposals!

ETA: and better to gripe about her man than to mull over my own LIW status, which at this point could cause so much destabilization as to cause seismic shifts!

Today the SO was discussing his new raise and planning a trip for us to go to Europe next year! Which naturally made me want to kill him.

At this point, I realized the being a LIW is a dangerous condition, and it is very good that we are LDR... because I know where he keeps his fish heads...

Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!

 

[miss_flo]

PP, nobody''s saying he screwed up I think we''re mainly expressing sympathy for trill since she made a really long drive for something that wasn''t properly thought out. This would have applied to a birthday party or a baby shower - you just don''t ask people to travel that far unless you have the logistics confirmed. My big birthday party was in April and I felt guilty just inviting people from one hour''s distance away. I wouldn''t have even thought to ask friends to drive that far, even for my "big" quarter century birthday

In regard to the proposal attempt, of course he gets a free pass. His heart was in the right place and I bet he worked his butt off to get as far in the planning as he did. I''m sure that when the time comes, he''s going to know exactly how to avoid the snafus he ran into this first time around.

 

[trillionaire]

FWIW, PP, my response we completely in lighthearted jest, as that''s how I took yours! I''m not really planning to poison my boyfriends fish heads... seriously I am not. No really. I promise. Swear to God... cross my heart and hope to... oh EFF it! Imma kill him!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Lol!!!

 

[Indylady]

Aww, I am so sorry you had to drive out so far!


That being said, I probably laughed for about 5 minutes after reading this thread. Hahaha does he realize you have to set the diamond once you get it? Which requires picking a setting? Haha it sounds like something my SO would do. He tries/often does wait till the last minute to do anything jewelery or present related.


I spent months researching natural pearls one year, and he waited till the DAY OF Valentine''s day to try to call them and order one! Every single pearl is different, stock changes all the time, and so do prices because it all depends...buying jewelery=not like picking up a DVD.

 

[wishinpink]

oh man!!!!

Hopefully he''ll learn his lesson =D

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 6/4/2009 6:50:36 PM
Author: trillionaire

NakedFinger, your post had me dying laughing!!! I swear, putting up with men is a full time job, and everyday, I thank my lucky stars that I only have to deal with the one I have! HAHAHA!

HAHA exactly!!

 

[purrfectpear]

Speaking of fish heads, that reminds me of the time in the 70''s when a GF of mine discovered her BF had been cheating...

She enlisted my help for some revenge. He was out of town on business but she had the key to his apartment in Marina Del Rey. We went to a fish market and bought some Mackeral. Now they stink on their own, but after putting them in a black garbage bag in the sun for 2 days in her backyard, they really reeked.

We put them in the trunk of her car, drove to Marina Del Rey, opened the door to the apartment, tore open the garbage bag (gag), threw the fish in, and locked the apartment.

He wasn''t due to return home for another 4 days.

 

[Patiently_Waiting]

Date: 6/5/2009 9:59:45 AM
Author: purrfectpear
Speaking of fish heads, that reminds me of the time in the 70''s when a GF of mine discovered her BF had been cheating...

She enlisted my help for some revenge. He was out of town on business but she had the key to his apartment in Marina Del Rey. We went to a fish market and bought some Mackeral. Now they stink on their own, but after putting them in a black garbage bag in the sun for 2 days in her backyard, they really reeked.

We put them in the trunk of her car, drove to Marina Del Rey, opened the door to the apartment, tore open the garbage bag (gag), threw the fish in, and locked the apartment.

He wasn''t due to return home for another 4 days.

LOL nice

 

[lilmissrugger]

Bwahahahaha. that''s pretty hardcore revenge, right there!!!

I''m so sorry you had to drive all that way- but that''s just the way (most) men are. If I don''t sit my FF down and explain to him how the process of anything that is more "girl-oriented" works out, he would never understand. Hell, they''re like puppies- cute, but they''ll mess in the house a dozen times until you stick their nose in it and say "no".

...not that my FF has ever actually made a mess in the house. that would just be awkward.

 

[tlh]

men are from mars.

 

[idreamofcushions]

Date: 6/4/2009 4:41:25 PM
Author: NakedFinger
Thats like when men say (at 27) when you ask where you see yourself by the time your 30, ''Oh I see myself married with two kids''. Ummmm dont your realize you have to PROPOPSE, plan the wedding for at least a year, get married, try to concieve, get pregnant, and then it takes 9 months to give birth! Its like, you realize you are already late right? LOL Men have no sense of time.

You said it. That about sums it up.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/4/2009 6:50:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Tell me you ladies aren''t seriously complaining that the guy screwed this up

Given the fact that PS is full of LIW whose BF''s have NO idea if they''re going to propose ever, I''m going to give this guy a complete pass on the screw up and an E for effort.

Ahh, but nowadays people give out E''s instead of F''s, so you failed him in the end too.

Have to agree with NakedFinger--lots of guys just have no sense of time. Mine included, alas.

 

[tigian]

Date: 6/4/2009 4:41:25 PM
Author: NakedFinger
Thats like when men say (at 27) when you ask where you see yourself by the time your 30, ''Oh I see myself married with two kids''. Ummmm dont your realize you have to PROPOPSE, plan the wedding for at least a year, get married, try to concieve, get pregnant, and then it takes 9 months to give birth! Its like, you realize you are already late right? LOL Men have no sense of time.

Seriously!

 

[laurenfischer5]

haha, you guys are cracking me up!

 

[HpiRally]

Date: 6/4/2009 4:33:47 PM
Author:trillionaire
<rant>

So, a week and a half ago, I get a message from a friends boyfriend asking how I was, and if I was going to be in the area anytime soon, and by soon, he meant the upcoming weekend for a VERY BIG SURPRISE! (read: engagement!). I''ve known his GF since I was 15, we were in HS together, our moms were good friends before their family moved out of state, and my brother took her to homecoming and prom when he was in HS! So, this is a really good family friend who I love to death, and I REALLY like her BF (and I usually don''t like ANYONE''s BFs!), so I decide to make the 4 hour drive to go celebrate with them. I asked him if he was 100% certain that this would be worth the trip (I had already been out of town 2 out of the last 3 weekends), and he said definitely yes.


So I was thrilled!


I get into town, and two hours after I get there, he sends me a text saying the plans have been postponed for a few weeks, due to car problems, ring issues, and not having talked to her parents yet.



WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!


Can someone PLEASE tell me why you would be inviting people to celebrate a proposal when you have NO ring and you have NOT talked to her parents???

So I can presume that I was invited to the engagement celebration, but her parents were not??? WHAT?!?!?!


Like I said, I''ve known this family for years... my friend is an only child with VERY overbearing parents, and they would absolutely travel crazy distances and do ANYTHING to be included...


Now, the only upside to this story was that I got to spend the weekend with my SO, and I was sick, so he took care of me all weekend, but I was still PISSED that I drove 4 hours for no reason. I am only working part-time and money is VERY tight! So when I felt better and got back home, I called him to see WHAT in the world was going on!?!


He had a tire blow out... ok, unforseeable... but it was on the way to visit her parents. He called them and left a message to say he was coming on Thursday evening, but didn''t mention that it was a secret or not to mention to his GF, so they called her and asked why he was going to be in town.

The ring: She wanted a Cushion cut ring, so that''s what he was having sourced for her. He talked to a jeweler who had 3 cushions in stock, so he was going to stop by and pick one out. When he called back to speak with the jeweler, they had all been sold. And it sounded like they were loose diamonds, so really, he had no diamond OR ring picked out, but was making plans with other people?!?!?!?!?! Sheeeeeesh!



MEN!!!! I swear! When do they grown up and get some common sense? This guy is in his 30''s! Geeeeeez!


</end rant>

I am going to step into this bash fest and say a few things, being a man and all.....

1) Yes its a big hassle for you to go down there and it cost you money to do so. However...dont be so negative about the situation. You got to see your SO, and this proposal is about HER....not you and your 4 hour drive. was it a pain? Yup...but its not the end of the world.
2) Could he have planned better? Yes...no doubt in my mind...but give him a break. At least he is going to ask.
3) Girls! When will they just grow up and stop being such emotional cry babies!? Seriously...she is in her 30''s and all she does is cry!- See how ridiculous and degrading that sounds? Not very nice now is it? Is it true for ALL woman? No...therefore you should not group all men into the category of lacking common sense.

Question for you though....Do you know what else he has going on in his life? Do you know his day to day life down to a T? you don''t know what he is battling with right now.


I understand this is an exciting moment....its about her and no one else and maybe he is trying to accomplish that for her not you. Being a guy who is proposing in 3 weeks I will have you know that everything has been booked and taken care of for the past 2 months. The ring was designed and custom made in March. Not all guys are grouped into the category of lacking common sense and the skills to plan things out.

Joe
aka- Defender of Men everywhere!

 

[HpiRally]

ARGH!!! Stoopid boys and their stoopid boy proposals!

I wanted to quote this message...because words are like an arrow let fly. Once you say them you can never get them back. Be careful you BF doesn''t see these words and then not do a big proposal for you. Why do I have a feeling...if he didnt you would be here to rant about that too?


...just trying to put things into perspective. Be happy your friend is with a man who loves her and wants to take care of her for life. that in itself is way more important than any ring....

congrats to your friend.

joe

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/7/2009 11:56:54 AM
Author: HpiRally

ARGH!!! Stoopid boys and their stoopid boy proposals!

I wanted to quote this message...because words are like an arrow let fly. Once you say them you can never get them back. Be careful you BF doesn't see these words and then not do a big proposal for you. Why do I have a feeling...if he didnt you would be here to rant about that too?


...just trying to put things into perspective. Be happy your friend is with a man who loves her and wants to take care of her for life. that in itself is way more important than any ring....

congrats to your friend.

joe

Hi Joe!

As this is the 'Ladies in Waiting' forum, we come here to rant. We can clear out our heads here of all the wild non-sense that we think, so that we can be sane people in real life. True story. I wrote what I wrote because I needed to get it out. Unapologetically. If you hang around here a bit, you'll see that many of us have a flair for the dramatic... because it's fun, and a safe place to do it. And you don't have to come here to defend men. We are a bunch of women who love our men SO MUCH that it is actually making us crazy. Hopefully you are proposing to your GF before she gets to that point

Otherwise, your share responsibility in our collective mental state!

And of course we all know that some men are planners and others are not. My dad is a master planner. My boyfriend is a pretty pitiful planner.

As far as proposals, one on the hand is better than two in the future!

A simple proposal trumphs no proposal anyday! Plus, this post wasn't about my BF or I anyway, just that it is inconsiderate to involve other people in half-baked plans. I complained to this forum, but when I talked to my friend's future fiance, I gave him helpful tips, told him NOT to feel bad about involving me, and encouraged him. I let him know that I am very excited about their upcoming engagement, and that I couldn't wait to celebrate with them. But, here, that's not fun to say. It's more fun to talk about how crazy men are, because other women here will get a laugh out of it and relate!

And if a girlfriend of mine was proposing and included me in some half baked debacle, I would rant about her too! We are adults! Learn to plan!

That said, glad to have a guy around these parts!

This is a fun forum, and male input is hard to come by!

 

[HpiRally]

I understand...I was just giving you another perspective. Us men love our woman, just as much as woman love their man. We don''t understand females and females don''t understand us. its always been that way...lol. Its a given and ranting is a good thing...

I am not going to say it wasnt rude of him, it was...but this stuff is a lot harder to plan than people think.

if men arent truly allowed in here they can block us from coming in..

again..congrats to your friend and to you, and as for me. She is expecting it in July/August and I am doing it in 3 weeks.

joe

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/7/2009 4:31:10 PM
Author: HpiRally
I understand...I was just giving you another perspective. Us men love our woman, just as much as woman love their man. We don't understand females and females don't understand us. its always been that way...lol. Its a given and ranting is a good thing...

I am not going to say it wasnt rude of him, it was...but this stuff is a lot harder to plan than people think.

if men arent truly allowed in here they can block us from coming in..

again..congrats to your friend and to you, and as for me. She is expecting it in July/August and I am doing it in 3 weeks.

joe

Congrats to you and your lady, Joe! What an exciting time! And we don't want to block men from coming in here at all! We love the male perspectives when we can get them, guys just tend to go to Hang Out, the Proposal Forum, Grooms Grooves, and Rocky Talk...not LIW!

And for great advice on women... Get this! I'm not joking, it's really good insight!

 

[princesss]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh my God. I''m totally giving that to BF as a late birthday gift. That is WAAAAAY too funny.

FWIW, I told my BF your story. He laughed about it, but he''s done some pretty similar things (not on as big a scale, though).