Pandora II
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2006
- Messages
- 9,613
Okay, here is a rundown on the situation...
May 2006 - FI''s 25 year-old brother T has a brief 4 week relationship with 20 year-old F. She tells him she''s taking Depo and so they take no other precautions.
June 2006 - T and F break off contact.
November 2006 - F is set to join the RAF and takes a medical - they tell her that she''s pregnant. F texts T to tell him she''s pregnant and he''s the father.
New Year''s Eve - F has baby girl (T has secret paternity test done, and the baby is his.)
F comes from a not great background. Mother has new bf and he doesn''t want a baby in the house. Her father walked out when she was 12. She has very few qualifications - but is not completely stupid. F is madly in love with T.
T comes from a very loving family who have always supported him, and who are highly educated and intelligent. T want''s his daughter brought up in an environment where there are books and a proper education.
T moves F and baby into his house. F develops depression. She has counselling and takes antidepressants and is now much better. She has also gone from a size 10 to a size 20 which is making her unhappy. She is still madly besotted with T.
T is more interested in his daughter, but is trying very hard to make things work between he and F. This isn''t easy as they never had a proper relationship and he is not and never has been in love with her. F is continually pushing to get engaged and married and to have another baby.
I spent a week with them last week and had a long talk with F. She seems to get what I am saying at the time, but as soon as she''s with T it all goes out the window. She was very upset by FBIL''s wedding as T''s brother''s relationships are all very different. FI and I are engaged and younger brother has very serious gf who he worships!
T and F have big row on way home from the wedding and F hits T. FMIL (who is a trained counsellor and has been amazing over it all) is desperate to know what to do. She feels for both of them, but thinks two unhappy people don''t make good parents, and wants to know what I think they should do.
I''m trying to see the situation from an outside viewpoint and was wondering what you guys would advise...
May 2006 - FI''s 25 year-old brother T has a brief 4 week relationship with 20 year-old F. She tells him she''s taking Depo and so they take no other precautions.
June 2006 - T and F break off contact.
November 2006 - F is set to join the RAF and takes a medical - they tell her that she''s pregnant. F texts T to tell him she''s pregnant and he''s the father.
New Year''s Eve - F has baby girl (T has secret paternity test done, and the baby is his.)
F comes from a not great background. Mother has new bf and he doesn''t want a baby in the house. Her father walked out when she was 12. She has very few qualifications - but is not completely stupid. F is madly in love with T.
T comes from a very loving family who have always supported him, and who are highly educated and intelligent. T want''s his daughter brought up in an environment where there are books and a proper education.
T moves F and baby into his house. F develops depression. She has counselling and takes antidepressants and is now much better. She has also gone from a size 10 to a size 20 which is making her unhappy. She is still madly besotted with T.
T is more interested in his daughter, but is trying very hard to make things work between he and F. This isn''t easy as they never had a proper relationship and he is not and never has been in love with her. F is continually pushing to get engaged and married and to have another baby.
I spent a week with them last week and had a long talk with F. She seems to get what I am saying at the time, but as soon as she''s with T it all goes out the window. She was very upset by FBIL''s wedding as T''s brother''s relationships are all very different. FI and I are engaged and younger brother has very serious gf who he worships!
T and F have big row on way home from the wedding and F hits T. FMIL (who is a trained counsellor and has been amazing over it all) is desperate to know what to do. She feels for both of them, but thinks two unhappy people don''t make good parents, and wants to know what I think they should do.
I''m trying to see the situation from an outside viewpoint and was wondering what you guys would advise...