iLander please help! can't find my ering =[[[[[[

[sonnyjane]

I am beyond relieved. I cried when I saw it.

I spoke to my in laws and found out why they haven't called her.......


sigh...

Two pieces of my father in laws jewelry went missing.

I know she is in a bad position right now with her husband being sick and not having insurance. She told me shes paying out of pocket.

I keep rewinding trying to remember if I did put it in there and I cannot for the life of me remember that. Its a tie dye bag with underwear in it. I feel like I would remember that. I don't know. This all played out weird. I'm confused myself. Was this all a coincidence? Did she actually take it and then return it?

What I do know is that I will be getting insurance on Monday.

I wouldn't second-guess. It's all too much of a coincidence... You said you tore the place apart, the incident with your parents, the fact that she found it while alone... Even if she DIDN'T do it, if you have that seed of doubt and can't trust her completely anymore, she shouldn't be working there anymore anyway. Tough times fall upon many people. There are other ways to go about it. Hell if she's been a loyal employee she could have even asked you for an advance, or asked you to refer her to your friends, etc. etc. There are lots of other options that do NOT include theft.

 

[missy]

Oh I am so relieved for you! Definitely get a new cleaning person and just as importantly please get a safe that is bolted down to the floor or wall to put all your valuables in whenever you have people working in your house or are not wearing your jewelry.

So glad you have your ring back AN!!!

 

[derbygal]

What a relief! I agree-- very clever to let her "find it". Congrats on this turning out positively!

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

Im so happy you found your ring! Reading thru this entire thread I was afraid you might never find it. I'm really, really, REALLY so happy for you!

 

[marymm]

Um, AN, were you a bit *something* when you realized your in-laws never let you and your DH in on their suspicions about your cleaning lady back when they stopped using her? Not trying to stir the pot, but I'd be kind of miffed if I were in this situation, because armed with their suspicions even if you chose to continue employing the same cleaning lady, likely you would have been even more vigilant with safekeeping your treasures.

 

[GemFever]

Again, I'm so glad you have it back. This is going to be the push for me to insure my stuff as well.

What I wonder -- if she took it (and I think she probably did) -- why did she end up bringing it back? Did she think you wouldn't notice for a while? She knows it's your engagement ring, right? Did you say something that would scare her into putting it back (like that you want her to be present while a police report is filed)? I'm just trying to figure out the psychology of the situation so -- god forbid -- I can be prepared should anything similar happen to me someday (knock on wood).

 

[Autumnovember]

Um, AN, were you a bit *something* when you realized your in-laws never let you and your DH in on their suspicions about your cleaning lady back when they stopped using her? Not trying to stir the pot, but I'd be kind of miffed if I were in this situation, because armed with their suspicions even if you chose to continue employing the same cleaning lady, likely you would have been even more vigilant with safekeeping your treasures.

Yup. That was the FIRST thing I thought of when she told him that today. I instantly thought, "why wouldn't she let us in on something like that knowing she cleans our home too?"

I'll be seeing them tomorrow to see how legit their claims are and I'm gonna dig a bit deeper. Just for my own knowledge.

I asked husband, he has no answer to that either.

I'm getting insurance for the ring on Monday AND I'm getting a safe. No more effing around...I was sick to my stomach today. The ring is completely irreplaceable without insurance.

 

[orbaya]

Does your diamond have fluoro? If so maybe you could use a blacklight at night?

eta - I should have read ahead!

 

[woofmama]

AN- I am soooo happy you got your ring back. I just read the entire thread and thought it was your cleaning lady sad to say.
I have a cleaning lady and she grabbed my hand to look at my rings the first time she worked for me. I am going to get a safe after reading this. I have been hiding my jewelry but now I'm paranoid.

 

[Autumnovember]

omfg. I just typed out the ENTIRE story and it went blank. Greeeaaaaaat.

 

[yssie]

OMG. I'm SO glad you have it back!! And I'm so sorry about this - revelation - I have to admit that I'd be furious with my ILs if they had neglected to tell me something like that

Your DH was very astute to recognise that giving her the opportunity to replace it without anyone watching was probably the best way to recover it.... and I'm buying a safe this weekend.

 

[Autumnovember]

Again, I'm so glad you have it back. This is going to be the push for me to insure my stuff as well.

What I wonder -- if she took it (and I think she probably did) -- why did she end up bringing it back? Did she think you wouldn't notice for a while? She knows it's your engagement ring, right? Did you say something that would scare her into putting it back (like that you want her to be present while a police report is filed)? I'm just trying to figure out the psychology of the situation so -- god forbid -- I can be prepared should anything similar happen to me someday (knock on wood).

Here's the thing - we're thinking that since we called her yesterday and asked if she misplaced it and whatnot she got nervous. Then we called her today and asked to speak to her in person. Apparently she drove up from 25 mins away to talk to us. Now, the place where it would have been sitting, in the jewelry holder, had a bunch of jewelry in it. We're thinking she may have thought that I wouldn't notice it. Also, we did say something to scare her.

When she came over, the first thing we asked her was if she had anyone helping her. She said no. She said that the girl that does help her has been working for her for a very long time and she brings her every now and then because she helps clean the bathrooms which she personally hates doing. My husband told her that we trusted her but not necessarily the girl that helps her and if anyone was with her Monday to please tell us because we had filed a police report and they were going to do an investigation because the ring is highly expensive. Then she told me how maybe I had left it out because she has noticed in the past that I leave jewelry out. This is true, except its always been costume jewelry, never ever ever ever my diamond ring. She asked me where I thought I left it. I was careful not to say exactly where and I just said my closet. Then she suggested we go and check my bedroom and she would help me look again. She moved the dresser, was checking under it, and we didn't find it. Then she said we could check the vacuum bag because she only cleaned our home and one other this week and didn't change the bag yet. We looked, wasn't there. We went back in the house and she started looking where my black stacked bins were. I told her I looked multiple times there and moved everything out of the closet to find it. She kept looking. Then she told me to go look in the couch cushions because "you never know, you may have dropped it there and don't remember." So I said fck it and went searching. Hubby came out after me about two minutes later and whispered to me that this was her chance to put it back if she had it. 5 minutes later, I went to my garage to search the trash bags after hubby told me hadn't emptied the trash yet. I was almost done looking through all of it and he came into the garage with the ring in his hand.

She came out shortly after and I asked where it was and she said she found it in the black bins in a bag. I cried because I was just so relieved to have it back. I wasn't really saying much and she just kept saying "its okkkkk, don't worry I understand. No problem." almost like, "its ok that you thought it was me!" The last thing she said before she left was "Make sure you still call me once a month!"

I just got back home since I got the ring back. I retraced my steps again. Opened the bag as if I was putting the ring in there and everything. It's not triggering any memory of doing that previously whatsoever. When I saw that bag earlier today when I was searching, I didn't have that "AHA" moment at all. Not even for a second.

My husband thought it was interesting that she came out with the bag and the ring still in the bag to show him that it was there. He thinks this was part of her way of playing it off.

I don't know. The whole thing is strange.

And yes, if you don't have a safe, get one. I learned a real serious lesson here and I'm hoping everyone else that doesn't have a safe or their ring insured did too. My best friends ring is not insured either and I'm going to make sure she gets insurance. It's so much more worth it to just spend the money on insurance and have peace of mind knowing that if anything DOES happen, you'll at least be able to replace it. Maybe not the sentimental value of a the piece but still. It would have been real difficult for me to have to go out and buy an identical setting and have to stick a CZ in it. I would have had to sell my watches plus another diamond ring I have just to afford the setting alone. Doubt I would have ever been able to replace the diamond and my husband has made it clear many times that he would never spend the kind of money he did on that diamond ever again.

If she did indeed take it, I forgive her and God will decide how to handle that. I'm not angry about it. I just wanted my ring back. I try to see the good in people and I get that people can do some really dumb stuff when they are desperate. I hope if she did take it she gets how wrong of her it was and its not the way to go. I'm also hoping she doesn't make the mistake again. I guess I'm not ever gonna know 100% but I'm glad I have it back.

 

[arkieb1]

Talk to your relatives.

This is what I am getting. She took the ring. She has severe money problems. Despite the fact I don't think anyone should steal she is not a bad person there is someone sick in her family like a child. I saw another person involved a female so maybe it is her daughter, it was taken because of the relative, I just didn't get the connection, she needed the money for someone else not for herself of that I am sure. I see a tidal wave of pressure with her and money. She thought she could take it and you would think you have misplaced it or lost it, file insurance and it would be fine. She was going to sell it. When you kept on about it and mentioned the police she brought it back. She has been in trouble before and did not want to be again, your husband frightened her, his plan worked you both scared her enough she put it back. Ask your relatives more about her "history" if you wish.

Heaps of Pricescopers prayed for you and sent you good karma to the universe and the universe has returned the ring to you. Get insurance, get a new cleaning lady. I did not sleep well last night because I got your distress and I am sorry for you, but it is back now. You can't prove she took it so have compassion and let it go she is in a very ugly place right now in her life. It is not right to steal but she has so many negative vibes in her life anyway trust me and let it go.

 

[Dancing Fire]

 

[Autumnovember]

Talk to your relatives.

This is what I am getting. She took the ring. She has severe money problems. Despite the fact I don't think anyone should steal she is not a bad person there is someone sick in her family like a child. I saw another person involved a female so maybe it is her daughter, it was taken because of the relative, I just didn't get the connection, she needed the money for someone else not for herself of that I am sure. I see a tidal wave of pressure with her and money. She thought she could take it and you would think you have misplaced it or lost it, file insurance and it would be fine. She was going to sell it. When you kept on about it and mentioned the police she brought it back. She has been in trouble before and did not want to be again, your husband frightened her, his plan worked you both scared her enough she put it back. Ask your relatives more about her "history" if you wish.

Heaps of Pricescopers prayed for you and sent you good karma to the universe and the universe has returned the ring to you. Get insurance, get a new cleaning lady. I did not sleep well last night because I got your distress and I am sorry for you, but it is back now. You can't prove she took it so have compassion and let it go she is in a very ugly place right now in her life. It is not right to steal but she has so many negative vibes in her life anyway trust me and let it go.

Oh, I know she is not a bad person. Definitely never ever got that from her. Her husband is sick right now and they can't really figure out whats going on. Her cleaning business was booming once upon a time when the economy was ok but it has suffered tremendously. She does not have insurance so she has been paying out of pocket for hubby. I have advised her several times about what her options are regarding her husbands health and have offered to help any way possible. I do feel sorry for her and the situation she is in. It's in my nature to be that way and I will still help her if she needs it (not money wise obviously but I will continue to point her in the right direction if she needs it). She has two sons and I do know she is struggling with the money situation because of the loss of business. I think she will be ok though and same goes for her husband. She is forgiven. I actually started tearing up at one point when she mentioned that she was scared because this has never happened to her. I just try to see the good in everyone. And I easily feel sorry and badly for people. Bad habit? Maybe...but thats just how I am. I don't know. I'm still gonna pray for her at night time - especially her husband.

And yes, the thoughts helped. I wouldn't have gotten through work today if I didn't have you guys thinking of me. It was the same thing when I had the whole dog situation. I always know that I can come here for support if I need it when something bad happens to me. Feels good to know that I have people pulling for me even when I don't know them in real life. I'm thankful for that.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I scanned this thread on and off today even though I didn't get the opportunity to post. I just kept hoping that the ring would turn up. I am so thankful that you have the ring back. I understand you being able to overlook almost all of it just because you have it back on your hand.

It definitely sounds like she or someone with her - even if she says there was no one else - took it. I guess the mention of the police really shook her up and thank goodness she had the good sense to return it or to get it back from whoever had it. Even she may not have realized just how valuable the ring was and the real pity would have been if it had been pawned for a fraction of its cost.

Desperate people do desperate things. I feel sorry for her plight but it still doesn't give her the right to take something that doesn't belong to her. You searched and searched and didn't find it and yet within a small amount of time she searched too and voila - she found it. Too coincidental.

The inlaws baffle me. I don't know how they could not have at least shared their experience. Makes no sense.

At least now you will get insurance. It made me sick to think that you could not replace your beautiful ring. In my opinion, that's the true test of whether or not you need insurance. If you can't afford to replace something out of pocket - and few could when it comes to something that expensive - then the insurance is a must.

The next question is whether or not you want her back in your home. Chances are this type of thing will never happen again - at least not in your home. However, you have every right to be suspicious and never call her again. You just can't afford to leave valuables out when strangers are in your home. It's too tempting to them and too dangerous for you. A safe is only as good as what it may be attached too - a floor is preferable.

Enjoy your ring - this was a valuable lesson for many and I am so thrilled for you that this story had a happy ending. I was afraid it was not going to be so happy! Hope you can sleep well tonight - you must be exhausted after all of this!

 

[arkieb1]

I should clarify here, by let it go I meant thank the universe which you have done and move on (I was more meaning like not getting bitter, stressed which I know you were, and not calling the cops). Please don't have this woman or any member of her family back in your home. I sensed one son not 2 as I was writing it, I don't understand how he fits in. The messages are cryptic sometimes and I have to figure out the meaning. I am not sure if the other young woman is a girlfriend, a niece was my initial thought yesterday a friend or who in the chain but there is a youngish woman who put her up to this it was her idea to steal from clients to pay medical and other bills.

There is more to this story. Ask your family. I was softening it yesterday because I didn't want to upset you. She is not a bad person that is true but it is unwise to have her back there again.

 

[asscher_girl]

Oh thank god it was found! Such a strange situation though but at least it's back. Make sure you get a safe asap! And create a new habit: put your rings in the safe every night when you get home and lock it. Unlock it in the morning, take your rings out and re-lock the safe.

 

[Laila619]

So glad you found it! Whew!

 

[missy]

AN, please don't have her back in your home working for you. It's not worth the risk and you know the old adage...fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. All the evidence points to the cleaning woman and I would also be pissed at your in-laws because they should have shared their suspicions with you so you could have been more careful with your valuables if you wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and kept her working for you. However, now that it is pretty evident she took your ring I would *not* let her back. Does she have your keys? If so please change the locks.

I trust my cleaning person like you trusted yours. But I still put all my jewelry/cash in the safe when she and now her husband (since he's helping her clean these days) come to my home. Why tempt people. Especially when she is going through hard times. I don't think someone is necessarily evil if they steal but I just don't want them in my home. So while she may be a nice person going through a rough patch there still is no good excuse for taking something that isn't yours. So you can be nice too and not prosecute (even if you could prove something) but please don't have her come back and work for you. Because what she did just isn't right whatever the excuse. After all, it's not like Jean Valjean stealing bread to feed his family. I'm OK with that. Not OK with what she did. She can feed her family.

 

[gregchang35]

WOW- what a read!

Am Sooo glad that you found your ring... Woo hoo!!! drinks are call for~!!!!!

Ilander and arkieb1= amazing talent that you have there. I know whom to ask when things go amiss.

 

[junebug17]

I'm so glad you have your ring back AN! What a stressful and upsetting experience.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

AN - I'm so glad you have your ring back. I'm sorry you had to go through all this stress.

Like others have said, do not have this woman back in your home. It is better to have bit of dust on the tables than worry about something else being taken.

 

[iLander]

YAY! Thank goodness!

And this is why I don't have maids . . .

 

[rosetta]

Yay!!!

Now get that safe....

ILander, this is why I never leave a maid alone at home, and never leave my my jewellery anywhere but a safe!

 

[Autumnovember]

Thank you all so much. I drank a lot of Sangria on Friday

I picked out a safe and will be getting it this week.

Husband is supposed to be getting a quote on the insurance!

 

[dani13]

Im soooo happy you got your ring back, AN!! What a scary story!! I am also like you...I give people the benefit of the doubt, but no matter what, she should not have stolen from you, period. Im glad youre getting the insurance and the safe. Thank goodness!!

 

[Polished]

With all this happening, I went and looked up your ring! It's gorgeous and I just hope you simply enjoy it with renewed appreciation.

 

[chrono]

What a nerve wracking experience. I just read through all 6 pages and came to this conclusion:
1. You need insurance, which I'm glad you are getting.
2. There are so many helpful PSers and some with very unique talents and aren't afraid to share / use it.

I am hugely relieved and happy that you got your ring back, regardless of how it came to be, the reasons why and all that. Just simply relieved.

 

[coda72]

So glad you got your e-ring back! I know how you feel; I lost a diamond earring about 6 months ago, and it drove me crazy for a while. I don't have a cleaning person, so I know it's in my house but I cannot seem to locate it. And it was a small diamond, only 0.3 carats, so I'm just going to save up to get a new one. But that's nothing like losing an e-ring. I would be beside myself. Do make sure to get it insured. I have all my more expensive jewelry insured, and it's worth the peace of mind.