I just wanna say -- the random comments thread

[yssie]

April - UGH!!

 

[Lilac]

I''m so sorry, Smurfy. My parents got divorced when I was really young, but even as an adult it''s still difficult to deal with. Divorce is always so hard. Sending you lots of *hugs*.

 

[BeachRunner]

Smurf, my condolences to you during this difficult time. My parents got divorced when I was a freshman in college. It''s tough at any age I''m sure, but I understood WHY they were doing it and in the end, it was better for both of them.

Hang in there!

 

[Porridge]

I''m sorry to hear it Smurfy. {hugs}

 

[packrat]

I''m sorry Smurfy.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Smurfy, I''m sorry you''re going through this. Divorce is hard at any age, at least you''ve had the luxury of being raised in a cohesive family "unit" versus some of us who never got to see what a real marriage even looked like until they were in one themselves.

Why are you not speaking up and telling your family to take their conflict offline? I find it shocking that this is going on via FB and other online sites (I''m assuming PS is involved in a round about way based on your comment about your dad stalking you).

If your family can''t act like adults then you need to be the one to put your big girl panties on and set them straight. Their behavior is unacceptable, then again, yours is too so perhaps you should take a look in the mirror and do a little self reflection BEFORE you pull your big girl panties on and be the bigger person.

I don''t even want to think of how my father would react if I flipped him the bird (literally or figuratively)...

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Thanks hudson, we made an agreement to not post anything on fb regarding this last night. People do get upset though and do post before thinking, it happens. As for my dad, at this point he''s not even in my frame of thinking the way he has been acting so the last thing I would feel bad about is flipping him the bird lol

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Well to each his/her own, just remember you can''t necessarily take back the things you say and do. He might be acting like a jerk now, but as "children" of our parents'' we don''t always know the full story of what''s going on.

 

[charbie]

sorry, smurphy- my parents divorced when i was 16. it isn''t easy at any age, and can be difficult when you''re an adult because suddenly you can see your parents acting like children again.

i think it''s important to recognize that you''re an adult now, self-sufficient, and sometimes the best thing you can do is to stay as far away from the situation while things cool down. obviously given the reaction your father had this weekend, remember you can only control YOUR actions, and you can only be upset if you LET him upset you. when i was younger, my dad promised things and did things to my mom that just made me seething upset with him. But once I stopped letting him make me mad, life became so much easier. I didn''t NEED him- all he gave me was an upset stomach from worrying about what he was doing or what was going on in his life. Once he realized he lost everything because of his behavior, he shaped up and we have a wonderful relationship again. I was a "daddy''s girl"- so letting go wasn''t easy- but it was necessary for me to become successful in my own way. It didn''t happen overnight- it took a long time. But having toxic people in your life- even if they are family- won''t do you any good.

 

[charbie]

i went to an amusement park with my husband, BIL, and SIL. Husband got me in such a rush when we arrived i neglected to put on my sunscreen.

today, my chest is sunburnt. OUCHIE.

 

[Puppmom]

I just came home to find my 15 year old drinking ice water from a BOWL. I asked her why she was drinking her water from a bowl and she answered (BIG SURPRISE) "I don''t know."

Seriously.

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/24/2010 4:37:14 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Well to each his/her own, just remember you can''t necessarily take back the things you say and do. He might be acting like a jerk now, but as ''children'' of our parents'' we don''t always know the full story of what''s going on.

Amen.

Divorce is hard for everyone involved, but your parents are the ones facing the biggest changes right now. If you don''t care about having a future relationship with your father, then your current reactions to his behavior are no big deal. However, if you want to maintain some semblance of a relationship with your father in the future, then HH gave you some good advice.

 

[Lilac]

Smurfy, I think the best thing for you to do right now is stay out of it. Let your parents work through their issues themselves and move towards their divorce on their own. If they start dragging you into the middle, simply explain that you wish to remain on the sidelines and don''t want to be put in the middle. They need to leave you out of it - that includes online, through emails, though phone calls, and in person.

I know you''re upset with your father right now (and obviously we don''t know the whole story) but you seem very angry and sometimes our reactions while we are angry cause us even more pain down the road when we have to deal with the consequences. If you ever wish to have any sort of relationship with your father, I think it would be best to keep your thoughts to yourself (or between you and your husband, as I''m sure he will be helping you through this difficult time) but refrain from yelling at your father. You never know what could happen in the future and I think the best thing is just to refrain from saying anything you may come to regret.

One of the hardest things for me as an adult with divorced parents is staying impartial. When I allow my parents to insult or badmouth each other to me I get stressed out, upset, and very hurt. It doesn''t even matter if I AGREE with what they are saying - just the simple fact that they are putting me in the middle is what hurts the most. I think my best advice for you is to not allow either of them to put you in the middle. Talk to your husband about your feelings and allow him to help you through it, but don''t say things to *either* of your parents that you may come to regret later on. It will only hurt you more in the end, and I would hate for that to happen because divorce is painful enough as it is.

 

[Steel]

Date: 5/24/2010 5:36:38 PM
Author: puppmom
I just came home to find my 15 year old drinking ice water from a BOWL. I asked her why she was drinking her water from a bowl and she answered (BIG SURPRISE) ''I don''t know.''

Seriously.

I thought you were going to say "she said, there weren''t any clean glasses" but that is much worse!

 

[princesss]

God, today''s been a horrible day. I really just want to curl into a ball and have a good cry. But instead I have a presentation to prepare and a book to read for a seminar tomorrow.

 

[Lilac]

Date: 5/24/2010 6:39:53 PM
Author: princesss
God, today''s been a horrible day. I really just want to curl into a ball and have a good cry. But instead I have a presentation to prepare and a book to read for a seminar tomorrow.

I''m sorry it''s been such a bad day, princesss.

I really hope tomorrow is better for you!!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Absolute Raspberry Vodka mixes very nicely indeed with cranberrry juice

 

[Lilac]

I've realized that in order to finish with a 3.9 GPA I need an A in all four of my classes this semester. I'm pretty sure I'll get an A in at least three of them, but one of them I'm nervous about. The final is tomorrow.

If I get an A- in that class, I'll finish with a 3.8959. In other words, about as close as I can get to summa cum laude without actually making it.

And what bothers me the most is a couple semesters ago I should have fought a grade I got because I deserved higher, but I decided it wasn't worth the hassle. Other people fought it and their grade was changed, but I didn't. And now it's come back to bite me.

This shouldn't matter - I've gotten into grad school already and there's really no reason my GPA matters anymore, but it's so frustrating to come so close and miss it by *that little*.

ETA: I know this sounds so silly, and I also know it *is* silly. It's just irritating to work so hard for 4 years and then miss my goal of a 3.9 by such a tiny amount.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/24/2010 6:45:00 PM
Author: Lilac

Date: 5/24/2010 6:39:53 PM

Author: princesss

God, today''s been a horrible day. I really just want to curl into a ball and have a good cry. But instead I have a presentation to prepare and a book to read for a seminar tomorrow.

I''m sorry it''s been such a bad day, princesss.

I really hope tomorrow is better for you!!

Thanks, Lilac. It has to be - a) I sincerely doubt that any day this week can rival today for horribleness, and b) the presentation and seminar are both for/with my Big Boss, so I don''t really have a choice. I can''t afford to have a bad day tomorrow.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/24/2010 6:49:10 PM
Author: Lilac
I''ve realized that in order to finish with a 3.9 GPA I need an A in all four of my classes this semester. I''m pretty sure I''ll get an A in at least three of them, but one of them I''m nervous about. The final is tomorrow.


If I get an A- in that class, I''ll finish with a 3.8959. In other words, about as close as I can get to summa cum laude without actually making it.


And what bothers me the most is a couple semesters ago I should have fought a grade I got because I deserved higher, but I decided it wasn''t worth the hassle. Other people fought it and their grade was changed, but I didn''t. And now it''s come back to bite me.


This shouldn''t matter - I''ve gotten into grad school already and there''s really no reason my GPA matters anymore, but it''s so frustrating to come so close and miss it by *that little*.


ETA: I know this sounds so silly, and I also know it *is* silly. It''s just irritating to work so hard for 4 years and then miss my goal of a 3.9 by such a tiny amount.

Oh, man, that would bug the crud out of me! I know exactly what you mean - it''s really tough to work towards something and be a hair away from it. I''ll keep my fingers crossed for you and send good study/test taking vibes to you.

 

[Steel]

Date: 5/24/2010 6:49:10 PM
Author: Lilac
I''ve realized that in order to finish with a 3.9 GPA I need an A in all four of my classes this semester. I''m pretty sure I''ll get an A in at least three of them, but one of them I''m nervous about. The final is tomorrow.

If I get an A- in that class, I''ll finish with a 3.8959. In other words, about as close as I can get to summa cum laude without actually making it.

And what bothers me the most is a couple semesters ago I should have fought a grade I got because I deserved higher, but I decided it wasn''t worth the hassle. Other people fought it and their grade was changed, but I didn''t. And now it''s come back to bite me.

This shouldn''t matter - I''ve gotten into grad school already and there''s really no reason my GPA matters anymore, but it''s so frustrating to come so close and miss it by *that little*.

ETA: I know this sounds so silly, and I also know it *is* silly. It''s just irritating to work so hard for 4 years and then miss my goal of a 3.9 by such a tiny amount.

Is it too late to challenge the grade now?

 

[Lilac]

Date: 5/24/2010 6:53:40 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 5/24/2010 6:45:00 PM

Author: Lilac

Date: 5/24/2010 6:39:53 PM

Author: princesss

God, today''s been a horrible day. I really just want to curl into a ball and have a good cry. But instead I have a presentation to prepare and a book to read for a seminar tomorrow.

I''m sorry it''s been such a bad day, princesss.

I really hope tomorrow is better for you!!

Thanks, Lilac. It has to be - a) I sincerely doubt that any day this week can rival today for horribleness, and b) the presentation and seminar are both for/with my Big Boss, so I don''t really have a choice. I can''t afford to have a bad day tomorrow.

Oh gosh, today was that horrible??

Well I''m sure you''ll do a great job with the presentation. Good luck!!

 

[Lilac]

Princesss - Thanks for the study/test taking vibes. I''ll need them!! I think I''ll do ok on the test, and I''ve been doing really well in the class all semester, but she''s going to kill me on the participation grade. I hate participating in lecture halls with 100 people and she highly values participation. If she hurts me on that, I''ll probably end up with an A-.

Steal - Yes, unfortunately it''s too late to challenge the grade at this point. I''m not sure the school''s *exact* policy on it, but I know the teacher no longer teaches at the school and it was in my freshman year (which is partially why I didn''t challenge it at the time - I felt it wasn''t as much of a big deal because it was just my first semester). There have been a couple other grades like that since then, but that one in particular I know I could have had changed.

 

[Steel]

Date: 5/24/2010 7:01:11 PM
Author: Lilac
Steal - Yes, unfortunately it''s too late to challenge the grade at this point. I''m not sure the school''s *exact* policy on it, but I know the teacher no longer teaches at the school and it was in my freshman year (which is partially why I didn''t challenge it at the time - I felt it wasn''t as much of a big deal because it was just my first semester). There have been a couple other grades like that since then, but that one in particular I know I could have had changed.

Oh rats, sorry to hear that. You know there was no guarantee that grade would have been changed so try not to fester on it, if that is what you are doing.

As I''m sure you have heard a million times: you can only do your best and your best is good enough for anybody (was that from Charlie & the Choc Factory?)

 

[Lilac]

Date: 5/24/2010 7:06:16 PM
Author: Steal

Date: 5/24/2010 7:01:11 PM

Author: Lilac

Steal - Yes, unfortunately it''s too late to challenge the grade at this point. I''m not sure the school''s *exact* policy on it, but I know the teacher no longer teaches at the school and it was in my freshman year (which is partially why I didn''t challenge it at the time - I felt it wasn''t as much of a big deal because it was just my first semester). There have been a couple other grades like that since then, but that one in particular I know I could have had changed.

Oh rats, sorry to hear that. You know there was no guarantee that grade would have been changed so try not to fester on it, if that is what you are doing.

As I''m sure you have heard a million times: you can only do your best and your best is good enough for anybody (was that from Charlie & the Choc Factory?)

Yeah, I''m trying really hard not to think about it too much. I got into my dream grad school so the GPA doesn''t matter really at this point. I''m just a perfectionist sometimes. But hopefully once graduation is over I won''t think about it again...

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Good news- a friend of our parents was able to get them to consider marriage counseling. I hope it works...

 

[ksinger]

Whoo hooo!!

I finally found a decent (so I''ve been told anyway) beginning fabrication class! I''ve been looking for one in this benighted art backwater for quite a while now, with not so much luck. But now I''m enrolled in a class that will help me...

"start with wire (already know a bit about this because I make fused, hand-woven chain - see below) and sheet metal and have the opportunity to finish with a piece of jewelry. Learn to use an assortment of hand tools including jeweler’s saws, files and hammers as well as the basics of soldering, polishing, stone setting and surface embellishment."

I''m seriously pumped, even though it will be a late night one night a week in a place about 40 minutes from my house.

 

[Indylady]

I got a phone call today from an internship that I applied for months ago that said I''m in the running a position and wanted to confirm that I''m still interested. Its in Chicago and comes with a living allowance and a stipend. Yahoo, right? I was supposed to get an email within the hour with more details, but it that hour was about 10 hours ago and the email has yet to come.

I wouldn''t really mind, if the same thing didn''t happen to me just last week! An email that says I''m an alternative for another internship, and that I should be expecting to receive a bundle of documents in a mail which I''ve got to fill out and return. Its been a week, and no package yet.

Both are super competitive internships; I don''t want to irritate them by calling in, but I also don''t want the opportunity to pass me by in case I haven''t gotten the email/package by mistake. Should I call in?

 

[dragonfly411]

Date: 5/24/2010 6:53:40 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 5/24/2010 6:45:00 PM

Author: Lilac

Date: 5/24/2010 6:39:53 PM


Author: princesss


God, today''s been a horrible day. I really just want to curl into a ball and have a good cry. But instead I have a presentation to prepare and a book to read for a seminar tomorrow.

I''m sorry it''s been such a bad day, princesss.

I really hope tomorrow is better for you!!

Thanks, Lilac. It has to be - a) I sincerely doubt that any day this week can rival today for horribleness, and b) the presentation and seminar are both for/with my Big Boss, so I don''t really have a choice. I can''t afford to have a bad day tomorrow.

Princess I feel your pain... I had a really horrible day yesterday as well.. I don''t think they get much worse. Hugs to you! Today isn''t looking much brighter for me... but I hope you have a better day.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/25/2010 9:30:52 AM
Author: dragonfly411

Date: 5/24/2010 6:53:40 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 5/24/2010 6:45:00 PM

Author: Lilac

Date: 5/24/2010 6:39:53 PM


Author: princesss


God, today''s been a horrible day. I really just want to curl into a ball and have a good cry. But instead I have a presentation to prepare and a book to read for a seminar tomorrow.

I''m sorry it''s been such a bad day, princesss.

I really hope tomorrow is better for you!!

Thanks, Lilac. It has to be - a) I sincerely doubt that any day this week can rival today for horribleness, and b) the presentation and seminar are both for/with my Big Boss, so I don''t really have a choice. I can''t afford to have a bad day tomorrow.

Princess I feel your pain... I had a really horrible day yesterday as well.. I don''t think they get much worse. Hugs to you! Today isn''t looking much brighter for me... but I hope you have a better day.

Sorry to hear your week hasn''t been going well so far, DF. My day is significantly better than yesterday - I hope your day improves as much as mine has!