I dont know why I want a bigger ring

[DiamondGirlxja]

I have a beautiful one carat ring. However, I work for a fortune 500 company and I am moving up in the world. I know this is so ridiculous, but I need a bigger ring. I mean its not a matter of need, of course, but I just feel where I am and everything it would help. Not to mention I am 5''''10 and I think a larger ring would compliment me more and I love big jewelry. With that being said, my fiance promised me that at the end of the year I would upgrade my ring. Well here we are one year later and he is breaking my heart. One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

 

[Skippy123]

I am confused. Are you saying you need a bigger ring as in size or a bigger stone????

 

[diamondfan]

If he made you that promise and is now saying you do not deserve it that would irk me. When he said you could get a larger stone, were things different financially at that time? I would pin that down, I would rather be told no and be surprised than have someone play with me over something.

 

[IrishAngel7982]

It looks to me like DG wants a bigger stone than her current 1ct (which I''m sure is beautiful!) What worries me is this: "the next moment he said I dont deserve it." Have you spoken to your fi about this comment? This would break my heart, not the fact that I couldn''t upgrade my ring. I hope you work it out.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 7/18/2007 3:48:33 PM
Author:DiamondGirlxja
One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

I guess you don''t "deserve" it. Bad Girl. Maybe working too hard climbing the ladder? Here''s the good news! You''ll be able to afford your OWN bling & not wait for any man to dole it out like candy for being "deserving"! And, um, I wouldn''t marry that "heartbreaker" -- sounds quite misogynistic.

 

[DiamondGirlxja]

larger stone

 

[DiamondGirlxja]

my heart is broken. i cant tell you i feel like i got punched in the stomach. he wanted me to do a business deal with him after i said no he changed his mind.

 

[DiamondGirlxja]

I should buy my own ring lol

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Your pretty lucky to have a ring in the first place, don''t forget what it stands for and that he has feelings too.

my 2 cents.

Good luck

 

[Skippy123]

Oh sorry, the spaghetti bolognaise and not being Kate Moss confused me. I thought it was part of your post.

Why did he say yes in the first place? Why does he feel you don't deserve it? I would be upset too, but if you are making good money buy yourself a ring. Why not? I am sorry, hugs. The only thing I can think of in his defense is that he may feel that he put a lot of effort into the ring and now you are ungrateful? Not sure, just maybe what he is thinking.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:04:44 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 7/18/2007 3:48:33 PM
Author:DiamondGirlxja
One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

I guess you don''t ''deserve'' it. Bad Girl. Maybe working too hard climbing the ladder? Here''s the good news! You''ll be able to afford your OWN bling & not wait for any man to dole it out like candy for being ''deserving''! And, um, I wouldn''t marry that ''heartbreaker'' -- sounds quite misogynistic.

LMAO....even if it wasn''t meant to be funny....

 

[Nicrez]

I know many women who will wear jewlery pieces worth hundreds of thousands on dollars on the same hand their .45ct engagement ring is.

I have to say it''s a testament to me of where you came from to where you get. I would rather just get some complimentary pieces like a stunning large solitaire or even wait for a nice anniversary gift.

ETA: By the way, I know someone who is an executive at a fortune 500 (top 40), wears her Tiffany 78pt everyday to work. Then she gets in her 5 new series BMW and drives uptown to her apartment by the park on weekdays and on the weekends drives straight up to her estate in the country. She has an extensive collection or rare collectable watches that are worth more than people''s salaries around her, and yet they are just unceremoniously on her wrist with that 78pter...

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:18:46 PM
Author: Nicrez
I know many women who will wear jewlery pieces worth hundreds of thousands on dollars on the same hand their .45ct engagement ring is.

I have to say it''s a testament to me of where you came from to where you get. I would rather just get some complimentary pieces like a stunning large solitaire or even wait for a nice anniversary gift.

ETA: By the way, I know someone who is an executive at a fortune 500 (top 40), wears her Tiffany 78pt everyday to work. Then she gets in her 5 new series BMW and drives uptown to her apartment by the park on weekdays and on the weekends drives straight up to her estate in the country. She has an extensive collection or rare collectable watches that are worth more than people''s salaries around her, and yet they are just unceremoniously on her wrist with that 78pter...

My cousin has a huge house in my city worth over 1 million, with exotic cars and I love that she wears her 3/4 carat diamond! She serves as the SW''s Regional HR VP for a Publically Traded Company. She rocks. I think she is so cool for that. hehehe She also has some really lovely gems and diamonds but she wears her 3/4th carat w/pride.

 

[WorkingHardforSmallRewards]

One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

Don't deserve it? wth. Are you some kind of dog that has to do tricks to get a ring? I sure wouldn't stand for that from anybody. You work, you want something and you can afford it then it really doesn't have anything to do with deserving it. You were good enough to deserve his devotion and love for the rest of your life, so what then, the diamond ring is more valuable than him and his love? I would be really mad, in fact, I am really mad and if I knew the two of you he would def be hearing it from me.

Also, on readong some of the other post, I had assumed the the cost of an upgrade would be burdened by both of you as a couple. After all, he bought you an engagement ring and you have it. You have that symbol and the act of proposing is done==though if he is talkinga bout you not deserving it then I would seriously reflect on the relatoinship itself and how he feels about you if you aren't even worth a more expensive ring. Of course my ff is worth a 50 million dollar ring, and more, I simply can't give it to her. After all, I am worth more than 50 million dollars

to me, as I would give up all the money in the world to be happy-- so of course she is WORTH a ridiculously large expensive ring, its just that a ring isn't worth being poor and unhappy over. But, he did give you an engagement ring already, so if what you want now is just more physical bling then it really should be burdned by the two of you and not placed solely on his shoulders. For the woman to come up to me when I had not suggested the idea of an upgrade myself and say "oh this is a nice ring but I want one bigger, you have to pay for it" would just be insulting, disrespectful and irresponsible in my mind.

 

[Hest88]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 68px">Date: 7/18/2007 4:06:12 PM
Author: DiamondGirlxja
he wanted me to do a business deal with him after i said no he changed his mind.

I''d be a little more concerned with your relationship dynamic if this is what really happened.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/18/2007 3:48:33 PM
Author:DiamondGirlxja

I have a beautiful one carat ring. However, I work for a fortune 500 company and I am moving up in the world. I know this is so ridiculous, but I need a bigger ring. I mean its not a matter of need, of course, but I just feel where I am and everything it would help. Not to mention I am 5'10 and I think a larger ring would compliment me more and I love big jewelry. With that being said, my fiance promised me that at the end of the year I would upgrade my ring. Well here we are one year later and he is breaking my heart. One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

My husband wouldn't DARE say something like that. If you don't *deserve* a bigger ring then he doesn't *deserve* you. There are many reasons NOT to get a bigger diamond, but if he thinks it is because you don't DESERVE it then he doesn't DESERVE to be the one offering.

he might as well say you are unworthy

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:06:12 PM
Author: DiamondGirlxja
my heart is broken. i cant tell you i feel like i got punched in the stomach. he wanted me to do a business deal with him after i said no he changed his mind.

you''re considering marrying a man who is *that* spiteful?

 

[WorkingHardforSmallRewards]

I just had to put it in a second post, regardless of how he felt about you asking him to pay for a larger ring, I can't believe he would say you don't deserve it. He must have low self-esteem to think he should be marrying somebody who he thinks doesn't deserve a larger diamond. I am really mad at him.

 

[DiamondGirlxja]

I am the same as your friend. i wear my one carat drive my e550 mercedes and my 5 series

 

[DiamondGirlxja]

it was his idea to updrage it and he has been talking about it for a year. he went to the jewelry store he had me talk to the lady he told me he paid- it wasnt my idea..now i cant get the idea out of my head

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:29:18 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 7/18/2007 3:48:33 PM
Author:DiamondGirlxja

I have a beautiful one carat ring. However, I work for a fortune 500 company and I am moving up in the world. I know this is so ridiculous, but I need a bigger ring. I mean its not a matter of need, of course, but I just feel where I am and everything it would help. Not to mention I am 5'10 and I think a larger ring would compliment me more and I love big jewelry. With that being said, my fiance promised me that at the end of the year I would upgrade my ring. Well here we are one year later and he is breaking my heart. One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

My husband wouldn't DARE say something like that. If you don't *deserve* a bigger ring then he doesn't *deserve* you. There are many reasons NOT to get a bigger diamond, but if he thinks it is because you don't DESERVE it then he doesn't DESERVE to be the one offering.

he might as well say you are unworthy

There are 2 sides to every story... being bratty for example might constitute a comment such as this...

ETA: Is it really worth getting that worked up about when you have so much to be grateful for?

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:28:00 PM
Author: Hest88

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 68px">Date: 7/18/2007 4:06:12 PM
Author: DiamondGirlxja
he wanted me to do a business deal with him after i said no he changed his mind.

I''d be a little more concerned with your relationship dynamic if this is what really happened.

Totally agree. The whole thing has a fishy sound to it ... at best, he''s immature/spiteful/degrading ... at WORST, he could be a con-artist.

Tread very, very carefully! (JMHO)

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:43:15 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone

Date: 7/18/2007 4:29:18 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 7/18/2007 3:48:33 PM
Author:DiamondGirlxja

I have a beautiful one carat ring. However, I work for a fortune 500 company and I am moving up in the world. I know this is so ridiculous, but I need a bigger ring. I mean its not a matter of need, of course, but I just feel where I am and everything it would help. Not to mention I am 5''10 and I think a larger ring would compliment me more and I love big jewelry. With that being said, my fiance promised me that at the end of the year I would upgrade my ring. Well here we are one year later and he is breaking my heart. One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

My husband wouldn''t DARE say something like that. If you don''t *deserve* a bigger ring then he doesn''t *deserve* you. There are many reasons NOT to get a bigger diamond, but if he thinks it is because you don''t DESERVE it then he doesn''t DESERVE to be the one offering.

he might as well say you are unworthy

There are 2 sides to every story... being bratty for example might constitute a comment such as this...

ETA: Is it really worth getting that worked up about when you have so much to be grateful for?

true enough, though I think your optimism is irritating

Seriously - only she knows the context in which that comment was made and all we have is that the comment was made. I could see my husband saying something like that with a wink and a smile and perhaps he''s saying that because he''s already bought her something bigger... but if there was any shred of seriousness in that comment I''d boot his "side of the story" to the curb.

 

[Independent Gal]

Hon, you''re a successful independent woman! You deserve to treat YOURSELF to some serious blingage.

I buy myself bling whenever responsible finances allow. The only piece of "serious" jewelry I own that I did NOT buy for myself is my e-ring.

So, if you want a major diamond, go get it, girl! After all, you have 9 other fingers to decorate. And two wrists. A couple of ears... A no-doubt lovely neck... Maybe an ankle? Belly button ring? That''s a lot of area to cover with diamonds! You better hop to it.

 

[Lynn B]

Well... I''m not even gonna address the "relationship issues"... but here''s an idea for the bling, though

(assuming, of course, that you decide to do an upgrade).

How about an eternity or semi-eternity band with .35 to .40+ pointers or so? THAT makes a huge "IMPACT" and is a look I am a''lovin''!!!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:51:25 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 7/18/2007 4:43:15 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone

Date: 7/18/2007 4:29:18 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 7/18/2007 3:48:33 PM
Author:DiamondGirlxja

I have a beautiful one carat ring. However, I work for a fortune 500 company and I am moving up in the world. I know this is so ridiculous, but I need a bigger ring. I mean its not a matter of need, of course, but I just feel where I am and everything it would help. Not to mention I am 5''10 and I think a larger ring would compliment me more and I love big jewelry. With that being said, my fiance promised me that at the end of the year I would upgrade my ring. Well here we are one year later and he is breaking my heart. One minute he said yes, he told me he paid and gave me a date to get the ring, the next moment he said I dont deserve it. Now I am heart broken. Any thoughts....

My husband wouldn''t DARE say something like that. If you don''t *deserve* a bigger ring then he doesn''t *deserve* you. There are many reasons NOT to get a bigger diamond, but if he thinks it is because you don''t DESERVE it then he doesn''t DESERVE to be the one offering.

he might as well say you are unworthy

There are 2 sides to every story... being bratty for example might constitute a comment such as this...

ETA: Is it really worth getting that worked up about when you have so much to be grateful for?

true enough, though I think your optimism is irritating

Seriously - only she knows the context in which that comment was made and all we have is that the comment was made. I could see my husband saying something like that with a wink and a smile and perhaps he''s saying that because he''s already bought her something bigger... but if there was any shred of seriousness in that comment I''d boot his ''side of the story'' to the curb.

Sorry Cehra, just always look on the brightside and we all know men are relationship impaired and things come out sideways sometimes. Here would be the conversation with my man:

me: honey, I love my ring but I want bigger
him: Good God woman are you never satisfied?
me: but you said I could upgrade
him: Sheesh, what the heck am I getting into with you

hehe

but after several times over on the topic, he''d freak out...

If a man doesn''t want to upgrade (spend more unnecessary dough which is totally understandable) then let it go, who knows maybe he''ll feel like he is doing because he loves you not cause your being a pest about it

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:40:34 PM
Author: DiamondGirlxja
it was his idea to updrage it and he has been talking about it for a year. he went to the jewelry store he had me talk to the lady he told me he paid- it wasnt my idea..now i cant get the idea out of my head

Hmmmm, that certainly sounds like he was promoting the idea.

However, I feel as if your desire to upgrade beyond his spawning of the idea to do so may be misplaced. I''m at Director level myself with a .71 Asscher, so my diamond faces up like a .50 round, and I interact with C-Level Exectutives at Fortune 500 companies all day long. Sure, you run into several people who have huge rings, but generally, the women I meet in positions of power who have 2+ ct. diamonds are into their late 40s and 50s, and sometimes, more often than not, they wear just a simple diamond eternity band. If you start comparing everything you have to what other people have, you''ll always be disappointed. To quote Ben Folds "There''s always someone cooler than you."

However, if you were whinging about it and tormenting him, I can see how he may have rescinded his offer. Men do that - they hate to be reminded over and over again of their promises, and will sometimes snatch it away as punishment for being overbearing. Leave him alone about it, don''t mention the upgrade again, and be happy with your 1 ct. diamond. Maybe he''ll change his mind. Maybe you should pay for a halo setting yourself to bump up the bling factor.

I think you''re missing the point of the symbol, and maybe you should just enjoy what you have for a little while - at least until after the wedding.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/18/2007 4:59:25 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier

Date: 7/18/2007 4:40:34 PM
Author: DiamondGirlxja
it was his idea to updrage it and he has been talking about it for a year. he went to the jewelry store he had me talk to the lady he told me he paid- it wasnt my idea..now i cant get the idea out of my head

Hmmmm, that certainly sounds like he was promoting the idea.

However, I feel as if your desire to upgrade beyond his spawning of the idea to do so may be misplaced. I''m at Director level myself with a .71 Asscher, so my diamond faces up like a .50 round, and I interact with C-Level Exectutives at Fortune 500 companies all day long. Sure, you run into several people who have huge rings, but generally, the women I meet in positions of power who have 2+ ct. diamonds are into their late 40s and 50s, and sometimes, more often than not, they wear just a simple diamond eternity band. If you start comparing everything you have to what other people have, you''ll always be disappointed. To quote Ben Folds ''There''s always someone cooler than you.''

However, if you were whinging about it and tormenting him, I can see how he may have rescinded his offer. Men do that - they hate to be reminded over and over again of their promises, and will sometimes snatch it away as punishment for being overbearing. Leave him alone about it, don''t mention the upgrade again, and be happy with your 1 ct. diamond. Maybe he''ll change his mind. Maybe you should pay for a halo setting yourself to bump up the bling factor.

I think you''re missing the point of the symbol, and maybe you should just enjoy what you have for a little while - at least until after the wedding.

Thanks for saying what I skirted around....gotta love them texans hehe.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,

Have you and your fiance set a wedding date yet? Maybe you can focus a bit on that more than on the ring and that will make you feel better?

 

[WorkingHardforSmallRewards]

did you do something really bad? like with another man or something? otherwise I am having a difficult time coming up with an scenario where this is an acceptable serious comment.

He proposed the idea of an upgrade.
Took her to look at them
Something happened
He said she doesn''t deserve it.


what on earth could possibly fit in as that "something happened'' I simply can''t imagine anything that makes it reasonable, other than he is now unhappy with the relationship and wants to break it off because of something she did, or he is a control freak/jerk to say something like that to his woman he is supposed to be in love with. I just can''t imagine any somethings in there that would make it acceptable unless it was something MAJOR and he is in alot of emotional pain...I hope you get it, and I say after him taking it so far and now having the balls to say this, do not back down, he needs to get to the point where he is willing to do the upgrade, so make it happen by him for you. thats my opinion--unless something major happened, then maybe you should buy him some manly fancy color diamonds and postpone your own upgrade in apology.