Husband refusing to wear wedding band?

[Slickk]

My husband can’t wear his wedding band at work either. It used to bother me a little but now I don’t mind (32 yrs married).
I agree with PPs, get him a ring for weekends and nights out!

This is serious business. Don’t look at the damage a ring can do if you are squeamish.
ETA Gruesome pic attached @Beautiful-disaster (love your screen name btw!)

Spoiler

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

@Beautiful-disaster this happened to me a little while ago (and why for a few weeks I wore no RHR)
I was putting the clothes into the dryer and somehow caught my opal RHR on the edge of the dryer. Not only did I pull the ring out of shape (the opal popped out as did some of the melee) I “degloved” (look that up on Google If you dare - be warned it’s gruesome) part of my right ring finger in the process.
not nice.

I’ve had my ring get caught and thought I was going to lose my finger for a moment so I know this terror and pain. I only lost the skin on the inside of my finger though - and the ring was like it never happened. It’s tough.
I do feel like this is such a common issue that there would be a general accepted solution. But it would seem the solution is *suck it up - he doesn’t wear one*.
I will still look into buying him one of the inlay rings as I think they represent who he is really well.
I will start another thread in the appropriate place with these rings as they are super unique and beautiful.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@Beautiful-disaster this happened to me a little while ago (and why for a few weeks I wore no RHR)
I was putting the clothes into the dryer and somehow caught my opal RHR on the edge of the dryer. Not only did I pull the ring out of shape (the opal popped out as did some of the melee) I “degloved” (look that up on Google If you dare - be warned it’s gruesome) part of my right ring finger in the process.
not nice.

OMG thats awful
I can hardly think about how horrible that would be
I hope you are on the mend and any pain now is healing pain

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I’ve had my ring get caught and thought I was going to lose my finger for a moment so I know this terror and pain. I only lost the skin on the inside of my finger though - and the ring was like it never happened. It’s tough.
I do feel like this is such a common issue that there would be a general accepted solution. But it would seem the solution is *suck it up - he doesn’t wear one*.
I will still look into buying him one of the inlay rings as I think they represent who he is really well.
I will start another thread in the appropriate place with these rings as they are super unique and beautiful.

I would love to follow a ring journey for a husband
i think a weekend / night time wedding ring is a wonderful compromise

 

[kenny]

If you partner (or yourself) can’t wear your ring everyday what do you do?

I'd just leave him alone.
He's not me, nor is he my possession.

My SO didn't want any ring to signify our relationship.
My reply was just, "Oh, okay." and that was that.
I didn't ask him why, let alone try to "convert" him.

I'd say, if you couldn't accept how he is, don't marry him.
Find someone who's exactly how you want.

Better yet, accept that you (both) have to compromise in a marriage.

 

[qubitasaurus]

Get him to put a photo of you and your daughter in his wallet. Can buy him a nice new wallet instead of a ring with a lovely place for the photo -- if he's in anyway sentimental it will mean more than the ring he cant wear anyway (and may just be getting to please you) and if the photo is nicely displayed in the wallet itll have some of the same effects as a ring. It might actually bring him some happiness and he's less likely to lose it and more likely to get something out of the higher quality wallet. I cant see anything romantic (symbol of love) in the gift of a ring that may take your finger with it if you get unlucky.

 

[Polabowla]

My dh never wears any jewelry (not many men in our culture/religion do.)
However, for our recent anniversary I said I wanted him to wear one . Sentimental I guess & other reasons.

Dh agreed until he tried on a few but hated how it looked & felt on his fingers.
He just isn't used to it.
So instead, i am buying him a bracelet in a style he can see himself wearing.
Not the same as a wedding ring, for sure, but this is not only about me. It's about what he will be comfortable & enjoy as well.

Perhaps your husband will be happier with something other than a ring - something you both choose & find meaningful.

As far as the ladies, well i doubt a ring can stop someone that determined unfortunately.

 

[bludiva]

I’ve had my ring get caught and thought I was going to lose my finger for a moment so I know this terror and pain. I only lost the skin on the inside of my finger though - and the ring was like it never happened. It’s tough.
I do feel like this is such a common issue that there would be a general accepted solution. But it would seem the solution is *suck it up - he doesn’t wear one*.
I will still look into buying him one of the inlay rings as I think they represent who he is really well.
I will start another thread in the appropriate place with these rings as they are super unique and beautiful.

If it’s any consolation I think a lot of married people don’t wear rings... My parents never did, my husband stopped wearing his once coronavirus happened, other ppl I know who work with their hands don’t either.... I don’t know that a ring stops ppl from making a pass or lack thereof encourages them to...

 

[seaurchin]

As far as the discussion about what difference wedding rings make, I don't think most people want to pursue someone who is married. When I was young and single, I started wearing a wedding ring to work because romantic overtures from customers were awkward to deal with. Wearing a wedding ring did put a stop to it.

If he can't wear a ring most of the time and doesn't mind a ring tattoo, why not? Then you could get a ring tattoo as well or a ring, whichever you prefer.

 

[Austina]

Hubby has never worn his bc he hates jewelry. Guess what? More bling money for me!

Ditto!

 

[Polabowla]

can he wear a silicone ring for safety & a nice one on weekends?

 

[Kvintage]

my husband works construction and hasn't worn a ring is 17 years. we never got ring when we were married. last year for xmas i wanted to get him one. I got him a metal band that he never wears and a silicone ring for at work. he hates the silicone ring. it makes his finger sweat and it pulls on his hair every time he runs his ringers through it. maybe he will get a tattoo? we will see.

 

[MillieLou]

I read somewhere that men are statistically more likely to be hit on by women if they are wearing a wedding band. The theory goes that a woman subconsciously registers that a man has been vetted as OK enough to marry by another woman, so he must be all right. Some of the awful "pick up artist" coaches tell unmarried men to wear wedding bands to bars for this reason So, if this is a motivating factor for wanting him to wear a band, maybe don't bother...

Personally I think it's nice to get a wedding band even if you rarely wear it. He will only have the opportunity to get a wedding band at the actual marriage ceremony once, and at least the option will be there to wear it outside work, on special occasions, when he retires, whatever.

Not wearing it daily would not be an issue for me at all. We both know we're married. More bling money for me.

 

[CSpan]

Hubby has never worn his bc he hates jewelry. Guess what? More bling money for me!

My ex-hubby never wore his wedding band except during the wedding ceremony which was fine by me.

DK

Mine also wore his band for our ceremony, kept pawing at it during the reception. He is super sensitive and just couldn't do it. He also doesn't wear a watch for the same reason. It on and off bothers me but like Nala said, way more bling for me. And men wearing a ring (think UK royals) isn't as common as it is in the US so if it isn't in his comfort zone I'd leave it be.

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

I was just looking at this Cartier puzzle ring last night.
We both really like it but it’s more then we wanted to spend on a wedding band.
I do feel it’s special enough that he will make the effort to wear it out side of work.... he thinks two grand is too much to pay for something that will spend most of it life waiting to be worn.
Still lovely ring... I may be able to talk him into it yet.

 

[seaurchin]

I read somewhere that men are statistically more likely to be hit on by women if they are wearing a wedding band. The theory goes that a woman subconsciously registers that a man has been vetted as OK enough to marry by another woman, so he must be all right. Some of the awful "pick up artist" coaches tell unmarried men to wear wedding bands to bars for this reason So, if this is a motivating factor for wanting him to wear a band, maybe don't bother...

Ugh, not sure if that so-called "pick up artist" stuff is more stupid or more slimy. Maybe half and half lol. I don't think many women are that lousy of human beings, let alone stupid enough to think a man who cheats would make a good partner. Sounds more like some loser male's fantasy lol.

 

[MillieLou]

Ugh, not sure if that so-called "pick up artist" stuff is more stupid or more slimy. Maybe half and half lol. I don't think many women are that lousy of human beings, let alone stupid enough to think a man who cheats would make a good partner. Sounds more like some loser male's fantasy lol.

Yeah, seems it's mostly a myth after all:

'The Wedding Ring Effect' is used to describe why married men can seem so desirable — but it's an egregious misinterpretation of the science behind it

“The Wedding Ring Effect” is the idea that simply by wearing a wedding ring, a man is somehow imbued with a host of desirable characteristics.

www.businessinsider.com

Faith in human nature is restored!

 

[seaurchin]

My opinion is that if either spouse thinks something is an issue, then it is an issue.

What the cause of it is, who's right or wrong and how to resolve it are not as clear though.

 

[MeowMeow]

@Beautiful-disaster Just want to say i am so glad you may have found a compromise with your husband for the ring thing. That is awesome! Don't want you to think my below response to another post is ragging on you because I know you already saw my other one in this earlier. Where is the offering flowers emote when you want it??? Lol!

Ugh, not sure if that so-called "pick up artist" stuff is more stupid or more slimy. Maybe half and half lol. I don't think many women are that lousy of human beings, let alone stupid enough to think a man who cheats would make a good partner. Sounds more like some loser male's fantasy lol.

Not saying its tons of women but it's sadly been true in my experience with men I am involved with who have worn rings lol. I talked earlier in this same thread about my ex getting extra attention from women even more than he already did after he got his mangagement ring from me. I find rings work better in making men be less interested. But rings don't keep them all away in my experience. I only stopped getting hit on if I go places with my husband in tow. And before you assume I am some beautiful person. Let me assure you I am NOT lol.

YMMV tho. My opinion will always be wearing a ring does not make you (general you not personal you )more married or more superior or romantic than someone else who doesn't wear one. It's the duty of the spouse to not be a cheating POS while wearing a ring or not wearing a ring.

Same disclaimer as my last post though. I honestly don't mean to sound harsh. I just have strong opinions about this given my own experiences with rings not necessarily being the deterrent people expect them to be.

 

[seaurchin]

Yeah, seems it's mostly a myth after all:

'The Wedding Ring Effect' is used to describe why married men can seem so desirable — but it's an egregious misinterpretation of the science behind it

“The Wedding Ring Effect” is the idea that simply by wearing a wedding ring, a man is somehow imbued with a host of desirable characteristics.

www.businessinsider.com

Faith in human nature is restored!

Yep. That article sounds exponentially more likely to me.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Shame on anyone who hits on someone who belongs to someone else

 

[inne]

My husband has never been hit on so much as right after we got married and he started wearing a ring. It was like moths to a flame! So ridiculous.

 

[Beautiful-disaster]

I wonder if it’s the opposite for women.
I have noticed a guy start talking to me and notice the ring and then back off but it’s not a common occurrence- as in I’m not sure they are looking for one or care of they see one. But you would think the diamonds would speak for themselves.

 

[Begonia]

Tattoo one on for work days, wear a real one (silicone or gold) for days off

 

[Roselina]

We got married, I put the ring on his finger. We move on to the party, I look at his hand and no ring... he took it off in the hotel room and forgot to put it back on. Since then this happens all the time. He usually runs around as an “unmarried” guy.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Shame on anyone who hits on someone who belongs to someone else

Ever heard about sharing? I'm still waiting to get hit on...

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Ever heard about sharing? I'm still waiting to get hit on...

One day if im ever lucky enough to met you DF, I'm afraid all I'll be looking at for the first hour is your diamond !

Then we talk politics

 

[Tonks]

Look up silicone wedding bands. They are designed for precisely your situation.

I wear one in the gym and to martial arts class where it is not safe to wear a metal band. Enso makes bands that are comfortable and they have some that genuinely look like metal. I really love mine—I believe it is the Elements collection.

Many people in your husband’s situation would wear a silicone band to work and have a metal band for situations after work where it was safe.

Do not push him wearing a metal band to work if he works with his hands. If you do the research, it’s just not worth it. Jimmy Fallon, I think it was, almost lost his finger not too long ago. (Btw, google this stuff at your own risk—it is gory.)

 

[Tonks]

Here’s the link.

Shop Elements Silicone Rings | Elements Collection | Enso Rings

Silicone Rings | Silicone Wedding Bands | Unique Wedding Rings | Enso Rings

ensorings.com

These are great. They are designed to break at a specific pressure if they get caught on something.

 

[Tonks]

Here’s mine. People think it’s metal all the time.