AmberGretchen
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2005
- Messages
- 7,770
Date: 3/26/2009 10:20:57 AM
Author: mayachel
It sounds like you could be writing our conversation on the matter exactly! In fact for a number of years, I made a big ta-do about his birthday, hosted some parties, some brunches, always found amazing thoughtful gifts...etc...
And, for the first couple of years, close friends of mine that lived in our area would hear we didn''t have plans, and plan something for me because they couldn''t imagine not. (I threw a party of year through college-so ya, I''m into celebrating my day).
Well, they moved away and df has been given the opportunity to pick up the ball...
This year I was a little passive agressive and didn''t plan anything in particular for his birthday. I made a nice dinner, and it was just the two us, and that was that. I thought for sure that it would open a conversation, where in I could point out that I was tired of tossing hoops for his day, only to have mine go by with him thinking as long as we go out for dinner, he has covered it.
Except that=this childish version of trying to resolve something did not work. (I know, big surprise, right?) Instead, he didn''t actually seem to care much.
So I took it into my own hands, happening to have another friend staying with us with the same birthday, we did our own thing, and included him. We (my friend and I ) also went out on our own ''in celebration'' of our birthday.
The truth is he does lots of little special things throughout the year, if he would just simply stamp one of them with, ''and this is for your birthday'' I''d be happy. In the meantime, I''m trying to grow up.
Hehe Maya - that does sound similar. I think my DH almost decides that if he doesn''t know EXACTLY what I want, then he should do nothing because that''s better. I don''t totally understand that reasoning, but whatever.
I think part of it for me also is that I feel like my birthdays have gotten shafted for a while now - in college they were always over Spring break, so I was lucky if anyone even remembered by the time we got back, and then since then there''s not really been a year where people were in town to really celebrate. I do recognize that that doesn''t mean I should necessarily feel hurt though.