JanesJewels|1406745192|3723221 said:momhappy|1406562864|3721954 said:My husband has coped surprisingly well with the loss of his father just over a year ago. It's been tough, but keeping busy and engaging in some "healthy" grieving (like crying every once in a while, sharing fond memories or his dad, etc.) has helped the process I think. The one thing that sets him back is when he has to talk on the phone to another family member who is not coping with the loss very well. This person is depressed, got fired from their job, and only seems to want to talk about the loss in every, single phone conversation. It doesn't seem like healthy grieving/coping to me and I wish that she would get professional help.
Momhappy, thanks so much for responding. I appreciate it.
Your relative that you mention above - perhaps your husband is the only person she can talk to who knew the deceased well, and a year isn't so long. Many people say the first year is the hardest, with all the "firsts" - holiday, anniversaries, etc. Give it time and perhaps she'll improve in the second year.
No, we are not the only ones she talks to about the loss. Other family members have noticed the same thing and it may sound harsh, but some of them have even stopped talking to her all together because they simply can't cope with the loss in that way. It's not just that she speaks about the loss all of the time (in depressing ways), it's that she also sort of badgers people about how painful it is, how we must need professional help, etc. It's really ironic considering that she is truly the one who needs some professional help, but won't get it which is sad
You're right, though, a year is not that long and I really do feel for her. I'm guessing that she will improve over time (as most people do), but the pain/loss will always be there in some ways. If nothing else, it's been a good reminder of how people handle loss/cope in different ways and I try to be sympathetic to that.
I'm sorry for all the loss that has been shared here - sending hugs to you all...