How did you convince hubby for an upgrade

[anika]

I REALLY want an upgrade; so bad. You know the feeling; I''m sure. Its all I can think about. However my ring is already an upgrade; was quite an extravagance for us and hubby was very accomodating through my indecisiveness (I upgraded the stone once already after paying but before leaving the shop and changed settings 2 x). So it was all put to bed and we were both happy......
I could not even broach the subject of an upgrade without it being a bit of a joke (hey this girl on pricescope upgraded her ring- what do you think....) or saying its the bargain of the century. Its a given that it would have to appear to be a bargain to him. Oh and I''d have to wait until he bought his car and closer to my birthday and when do it when hes out of town on work etc etc...
Okay so what else can a girl do?
Any tips for the challenge of the century?
Thanks in advance

Anika

 

[moon river]

Make him think it''s HIS idea.

Works like a charm.

 

[ladykemma]

wait til you''re forty and stop asking permission (evil grin) that''s what i do.

 

[diamondfan]

Moon is on to something...you have to be patient, too and willing to plant the seed and let it grow. This is easier said than done, of course, but worth it! I upgraded once to quite a nice ting and he thought that was IT forever, and before you know it, 5 years later I upgraded again, this time for good unless...haha..anyway, I just started planting little seeds. He is not so into jewelry but when we were out I would say...oh, look at her ring (if I liked it)....don''t you think that is pretty? If I ever were to get another ring I would love something like that...or, the opposite...See that? i do not really care for that style. Before long, he was commenting on rings when we were out. He would ask, How big did I think that stone was? or did I like that setting etc...I knew then that he was starting to pay attention to that stuff...it was gradual but it worked, and then he was enthusiastic about it too! Good luck...

 

[moon river]

diamondfan, you not only planted the seed, sounds like you watered it too!!

Sounds like good advice to me.

 

[diamondfan]

It worked because he felt it was something HE wanted to do, versus me pushing and nagging (who, me?) I knew he was open to it once he started paying more attention on his own, calling attention to rings and stuff before I even noticed! I would now never say never, and I think I have a ring to last a lifetime, but I know now a bit better how to handle him (only took me 15 years...I am not a quick study about that stuff!) for when I want things...

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 4/16/2006 8:41:42 PM
Author: diamondfan
It worked because he felt it was something HE wanted to do, versus me pushing and nagging (who, me?) I knew he was open to it once he started paying more attention on his own, calling attention to rings and stuff before I even noticed! I would now never say never, and I think I have a ring to last a lifetime, but I know now a bit better how to handle him (only took me 15 years...I am not a quick study about that stuff!) for when I want things...

Pics?? You have never posted pics of your ring?? I want to see it!!!

 

[diamondfan]

I never got around to taking that many...I took a couple before my kids took my digital and broke it (and the replacement one too) and I emailed them to Lorelei, and then my computer crashed and I had to take it to Bestbuy, and of course all my data that was stored (and not backed up) was lost. I am not sure if she still has the photos, it was quite a while back, but I could ask her and if she does I would tell her to post them for me!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Date: 4/16/2006 8:04:42 PM
Author: ladykemma
wait til you''re forty and stop asking permission (evil grin) that''s what i do.

ROFLMAO that is hilarious! Wow you made my evening!

 

[Mara]

i definitely agree with the plant the seed and let it grow idea...that is how i have done it. it takes some patience, and you can't push too much and have to know when to drop another seed and when to stay silent. also sometimes things just happen that you don't plan for and they can work to your advantage. like for example i got my first upgrade when my husband saw a superideal stone that i bought for his ring and he saw the huge difference between my not so great stone and his super ideal stone. so that was kind of the clincher for that upgrade but i didn't even really expect it! i'd been dropping hints for months but that was what really made him go hmm. plus as long as what you want is not a financial burden, then it just has to be an approved priority for the household, so how do you make it one?

sure it's not a big screen TV but it makes you just as happy!

it's just a matter of knowing what you want and working it into the plan. i bet guys don't even think about this stuff as carefully as we do, they just go 'i'm buying a new car okay honey?'..hehee. actually i have also had good luck with doing the research beforehand and then sitting down with him after a great meal, when he is relaxed and just being up front about it and saying 'hey i found this bigger stone, it's only XYZ amount...what do you think?' if i have been dropping hints here and there or he knew i wanted something larger 'this year' then sometimes it actually works just to talk about it and let him know how much it means to me.

oh and wine or champagne and chocolates in a nice hot tub or bath works too.

oh i will say also that if he has already put his foot down or veto'd it, it will be hard to get around that kind of mental block...so you may just have to wait it out. you know him better than us! proceed with caution!

 

[diamondfan]

Mara, I am with you! A little flattery or attention never hurts...Lady, I got the second upgrade for my 40th...I can hide clothes, purses, lots of other stuff, but a major new ring was not going to be easy to be so nonchalant about! I am so glad that I did it, I think I pushed just the right amount and backed off when necessary...one thing that never worked was acting like I was deprived. He always thinks I have more than enough and I should be fine, so if I just make mention here and there and over time it takes hold! I have happily reaped the benefits and really think I have learned a few tricks too!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 4/16/2006 7:32:22 PM
Author:anika
I REALLY want an upgrade; so bad. You know the feeling; I''m sure. Its all I can think about. However my ring is already an upgrade; was quite an extravagance for us and hubby was very accomodating through my indecisiveness (I upgraded the stone once already after paying but before leaving the shop and changed settings 2 x). So it was all put to bed and we were both happy......
I could not even broach the subject of an upgrade without it being a bit of a joke (hey this girl on pricescope upgraded her ring- what do you think....) or saying its the bargain of the century. Its a given that it would have to appear to be a bargain to him. Oh and I''d have to wait until he bought his car and closer to my birthday and when do it when hes out of town on work etc etc...
Okay so what else can a girl do?
Any tips for the challenge of the century?
Thanks in advance

Anika

tell your hubby he either upgrades the e-ring or you will upgrade the husband.

never fails

 

[kenny]

Cut him off.

 

[diamondfan]

Dancing Fire...if subtle fails...ha ha...my d/h sometimes says, as a joke, if I have been angling for too much, "Save something for your next husband to give you!"

 

[anika]

Wow, at first I thought I hope I don''t get all this advice about sitting down and being totally upfront etc. But planting the seed; strategically dropping hints at just the right timing...without actually asking for it.. that could pay off. You''re right, I have to be patient and SMART! I think I have to dip my toe in the water with a few vague hints not related to self and then..... "upgrade the hints" so he doesn''t feel like he''s been fully attacked. Timing is everything.... those mellow moments when you can bring up the no go zones. Still has to appear to be a bargain.
I''m expecting a quote from my jeweller in the next couple of days- fingers crossed! It doesn''t hurt to do the research right?

Anika

 

[diamondfan]

Anika, (I went to school with an Annika) anyway, armed is best, since mine would always say...Oh, and do you have any idea of cost or availability? and I could say, yes, as a matter of fact blank jeweler has such and such... then our game would start...he''d say, okay so on our 25th you will know who to call for stuff...blah blah and I would laugh and say, yeah, great...and wait a few days...and so on. Sometimes I would leave torn out magazine or catalog photos of things I liked "casually" laying around (aren''t I tricky?)

 

[Lorelei]

whine...sulk....cry....whine some more.....cry......= UPGRADE!

Seriously as my masterful friends Diamondfan and Mara say, you need to plant the seed and water it and also get the timing right to broach the subject! It can be a bit of campaign, but good strategy and planning and timing will win the day. Don't give up but work on your plan and get going when the time is right! Wine is good too!

Just thinking some more here of my craftiness, you need to get to the stage where the question is not IF you upgrade but WHEN....you need to trickle feed him subliminally with the upgrade hints over time so he thinks that it is a WHEN, then the rest is easy!

You need to erase the IFS and MAYBES from his thought processes and it can be done!

Trust me!

I am reading this back and chuckling, I am so terribly crafty and manipulating and ought to be ashamed....

but I'm not!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 4/17/2006 3:34:59 AM
Author: Lorelei
whine...sulk....cry....whine some more.....cry......= UPGRADE!

Seriously as my masterful friends Diamondfan and Mara say, you need to plant the seed and water it and also get the timing right to broach the subject! It can be a bit of campaign, but good strategy and planning and timing will win the day. Don''t give up but work on your plan and get going when the time is right! Wine is good too!

that only works for brits.one glass for me= lights out.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/17/2006 4:18:05 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 4/17/2006 3:34:59 AM
Author: Lorelei
whine...sulk....cry....whine some more.....cry......= UPGRADE!

Seriously as my masterful friends Diamondfan and Mara say, you need to plant the seed and water it and also get the timing right to broach the subject! It can be a bit of campaign, but good strategy and planning and timing will win the day. Don't give up but work on your plan and get going when the time is right! Wine is good too!

that only works for brits.one glass for me= lights out.

So I have to find another strategy to work on you DF????

hmmm - when is my Patek Phillipe watch coming?

ETA - I know what would work with you - FOOD! A cooked breakfast, bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes and syrup and warm cinnamon rolls, freshly squeezed orange juice etc

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/16/2006 9:19:47 PM
Author: diamondfan
I never got around to taking that many...I took a couple before my kids took my digital and broke it (and the replacement one too) and I emailed them to Lorelei, and then my computer crashed and I had to take it to Bestbuy, and of course all my data that was stored (and not backed up) was lost. I am not sure if she still has the photos, it was quite a while back, but I could ask her and if she does I would tell her to post them for me!

Regrettably I no longer have the pics, it was such a long time ago and Hubby must have lost or deleted them and he isn''t here to ask.

Sorry gals, I am the only lucky PSer to have seen this incredible ring

 

[windowshopper]

Date: 4/17/2006 4:39:19 AM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 4/17/2006 4:18:05 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 4/17/2006 3:34:59 AM
Author: Lorelei
whine...sulk....cry....whine some more.....cry......= UPGRADE!

Seriously as my masterful friends Diamondfan and Mara say, you need to plant the seed and water it and also get the timing right to broach the subject! It can be a bit of campaign, but good strategy and planning and timing will win the day. Don''t give up but work on your plan and get going when the time is right! Wine is good too!

that only works for brits.one glass for me= lights out.

So I have to find another strategy to work on you DF????

hmmm - when is my Patek Phillipe watch coming?

ETA - I know what would work with you - FOOD! A cooked breakfast, bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes and syrup and warm cinnamon rolls, freshly squeezed orange juice etc

what patek philippe are you getting?????????????????

 

[marriahlyn]

If you have a sentimental traditional husband like me, good luck. I''ll be wearing my rings for a long time. That''s why I buy sim rings and trade out sometimes. We could afford a much much bigger diamond but dh isn''t flashy. I think he got me a 1ct because that''s what his mom has and they have lots of money. Only thing is her fingers are size 3 and mine are 7 LOL Good luck.

 

[windowshopper]

i have a question regarding upgrades: what do we think or know the average overall cost is and by what increment? i am trying to figure out how much i need to make me happy and how much it will cost

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 4/17/2006 8:07:53 AM
Author: windowshopper
i have a question regarding upgrades: what do we think or know the average overall cost is and by what increment? i am trying to figure out how much i need to make me happy and how much it will cost

WS are you thinking of upgrading your EC?

 

[windowshopper]

well --kind of............i think i would rather a larger stone as a simple solitaire without sidestones. i have never really like this mounting....

 

[mrssalvo]

wow..well, sounds like you have a fun project ahead of you. I know you have never loved your setting..there is nothing like a huge solitaire

Good luck, please keep up posted on your journey..how fun..

 

[windowshopper]

thanks--i am debating just scrapping the mounting and re-setting or upgrading ...................i really dont want to upgrade forever. i think i would like about 1 carat more max but i love my stone......

 

[Lorelei]

Windowshopper regrettably I won''t be getting a Patek Phillipe watch!

My boyfriend Dancing Fire loves teasing me with this watch Here but unless he buys it for me I am out of luck

He pops it up in any thread he can just to torment me ever since he heard I wanted a new watch - stinker he is!

 

[bex891]

This is quite an interesting thread!

Are folk around here upgrading for just size or is it for a better cut, colour, etc?

From what I have read, clarity and colour tend to get compromised when going up in size??

Bex

 

[FireGoddess]

I got an upgrade as a mixture of planting a seed and him seeing how big some stones on my friends rings were. He saw how happy it made me and now he keeps mentioning it on his own! Not in the near future, but someday maybe.