swt_acacia
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2006
- Messages
- 23
My boyfriend and I (he''s 26 & I''m 25) have been together for five years. We''re still nowhere near a proposal. He goes back and forth bewteen telling me he''s interested in getting married, to saying he''d be happy going to the courthouse right now, to saying he''s just not ready, to complaining about how all weddings and diamonds are stupid traditions and a waste of money.
On the other hand, I''ve been really wanting to talk with him about getting married since 2004. I mean, our relationship is great other than this issue, so I was excited to be ready to move things forward. Since then, I''ve been all the way through the being excited phase, the confusion phase, and now, the anything about weddings just makes me sad phase. I''ve tried waiting and being patient and not pushing the issue, but as far as I can tell, that''s just letting things stay the way they are longer and driving me more insane. People have told me that I brought this upon myself by moving in with him before we were engaged (we moved to a new state together for grad school, and living together was easier than both of us finding roommates), but it''s a little late to change that after three years.
I told him I don''t feel like he''s interested in marrying me, and that after five years I deserved to know whether we have the same goals for our relationship. He said that he was interested, just not now. I told him that as just his girlfriend I can''t possibly justify moving with him again in two years (when our graduate program is over) and he was upset but nothing has changed since then. I don''t know what to do. How can I tell whether he''s just incredibly slow, one of those guys who''ll never marry, or just not interested in marrying ME? Please Help!
On the other hand, I''ve been really wanting to talk with him about getting married since 2004. I mean, our relationship is great other than this issue, so I was excited to be ready to move things forward. Since then, I''ve been all the way through the being excited phase, the confusion phase, and now, the anything about weddings just makes me sad phase. I''ve tried waiting and being patient and not pushing the issue, but as far as I can tell, that''s just letting things stay the way they are longer and driving me more insane. People have told me that I brought this upon myself by moving in with him before we were engaged (we moved to a new state together for grad school, and living together was easier than both of us finding roommates), but it''s a little late to change that after three years.
I told him I don''t feel like he''s interested in marrying me, and that after five years I deserved to know whether we have the same goals for our relationship. He said that he was interested, just not now. I told him that as just his girlfriend I can''t possibly justify moving with him again in two years (when our graduate program is over) and he was upset but nothing has changed since then. I don''t know what to do. How can I tell whether he''s just incredibly slow, one of those guys who''ll never marry, or just not interested in marrying ME? Please Help!