For you mommies out there I have some questions

[radiantquest]

I have a coworker that is about 4 months pregnant and my SIL has a two year old and a 6 month old.
I think both of these women are nuts about being careful and being super-mom. I may be way off base here so if you could tell me if this is normal I would appreciate it.

My coworker is always complaining that she can''t have this and can''t have that. She whines about not being able to have things. Apparently she is not allowed to have ANY caffeine, sugar, or lunchmeat. I have never heard this before. Ever. I can understand not having coffee all day and not drinking only soda, but she refuses to even have one cup of hot tea because it has caffeine in it. She will not indulge in any chocolate. She refuses to eat any meat that isn''t fresh from the bone. What is this all about? Is she taking things over the top? I wouldn''t even really care except that she is always whining about it. She says that these things can hurt the baby. Really? What about my mother, aunts and grandmother, I bet they drank tea and had ham and cheese sandwiches and their babies are fine. I agree with not taking chances, but this seems extreme to me.

My SIL will not let her kids taste anything. Somtimes when we eat at her house and the babies are small, not infants I would want to let them taste food. Like a little sauce on my fingertip or mashed potatoes, something like that and she would feak out. They are not allowed to drink anything but milk and water. One day I was visiting in the summer and we were all outside. I had an oolong tea flavored with blueberry. The older one was sweating and clearly thirsty and asked for a drink. I was going to give him a sip and she said no. A sip? What is wrong with that? She even makes seperate meals for the babes. We eat pretty healthy at her house and still they have special meals. They are rarely allowed cheese. Neither kid has any special food allergies, as of yet that she needs to worry about. One thing that I find odd is that they are sick ALL THE TIME. I think it is because of her. The youngest has had a problem with acid reflux since birth. They have both been to the hospital several times.

The thread about different parenting got me thinking about this. Are these women going overboard? I think so. If it were me I would be careful, but I would eat lunchmeat and chocolate. My kids would have choices about their foods as long as they were healthy. My SILs poor kids will never know the greatness of a grilled cheese.

 

[meresal]

I've definitely heard worse.

Technically you aren't supposed to eat those things as pregnant, but it just depends on each person and what they are comfortable with. I can understand how it would be annoying to listen to her complain about it all the time though. Especially at 4 months, I would think she would be used to it by then.

As for your sister, every mom is different. My sister has a 5 y/o and she is not allowed to have caffine or sugar. So when my niece has sugar on special occassions she gets SO excited, and it is HILARIOUS!

She shoved her face in a whole bowl of ice cream one Christmas Eve and then proceeded to run aroudn the restaurant in circles no more than a minute later. Sooooo funny!!
FWIW, I don't think that mashed potatoes are ok for a 6 month old. I also would only feed another persons child what the mom gave me, or I would ask the parents before trying to give a child something. (Maybe this is just from being around my sister though.)
However, she is the mom and she can raise her kids however she feels comfortable. That is just how it is.

 

[Pandora II]

Personally I think they are OTT, but then you are talking to someone who ate sushi, lunchmeat and soft cheeses throughout pregnancy.

I did my research and avoided caffeine, alcohol and unpasteurised dairy products - otherwise I ate everything.


Daisy is 5 months and has tastes of everything I eat unl.ess it contains nuts or chocolate. Nothing in my house is sterilised nor do I use disinfectants or handwash stuff other than ordinary soap. So far she hasn''t had even a sniffle - mild temperature after second lot of shots and that is it. I believe in exposing and building a child''s immune system.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/21/2009 2:18:33 PM
Author:radiantquest
I have a coworker that is about 4 months pregnant and my SIL has a two year old and a 6 month old.
I think both of these women are nuts about being careful and being super-mom. I may be way off base here so if you could tell me if this is normal I would appreciate it.

My coworker is always complaining that she can''t have this and can''t have that. She whines about not being able to have things. Apparently she is not allowed to have ANY caffeine, sugar, or lunchmeat. I have never heard this before. Ever. I can understand not having coffee all day and not drinking only soda, but she refuses to even have one cup of hot tea because it has caffeine in it. She will not indulge in any chocolate. She refuses to eat any meat that isn''t fresh from the bone. What is this all about? Is she taking things over the top? I wouldn''t even really care except that she is always whining about it. She says that these things can hurt the baby. Really? What about my mother, aunts and grandmother, I bet they drank tea and had ham and cheese sandwiches and their babies are fine. I agree with not taking chances, but this seems extreme to me.

My SIL will not let her kids taste anything. Somtimes when we eat at her house and the babies are small, not infants I would want to let them taste food. Like a little sauce on my fingertip or mashed potatoes, something like that and she would feak out. They are not allowed to drink anything but milk and water. One day I was visiting in the summer and we were all outside. I had an oolong tea flavored with blueberry. The older one was sweating and clearly thirsty and asked for a drink. I was going to give him a sip and she said no. A sip? What is wrong with that? She even makes seperate meals for the babes. We eat pretty healthy at her house and still they have special meals. They are rarely allowed cheese. Neither kid has any special food allergies, as of yet that she needs to worry about. One thing that I find odd is that they are sick ALL THE TIME. I think it is because of her. The youngest has had a problem with acid reflux since birth. They have both been to the hospital several times.

The thread about different parenting got me thinking about this. Are these women going overboard? I think so. If it were me I would be careful, but I would eat lunchmeat and chocolate. My kids would have choices about their foods as long as they were healthy. My SILs poor kids will never know the greatness of a grilled cheese.

What''s wrong with grilled cheese?

You can have some caffeine, but if a lot of woman don''t. Some women have sandwiches, but deli meat at a deli is one thing that I definitely avoided. Odds are low, but if you do get listeria, the collateral damage is great. Chocolate? I didn''t eat a ton of it, but a little doesn''t kill an otherwise healthy pregnant woman.

How small are the kids? I don''t see any issue with mashed potatoes. Honestly, I wouldn''t give my kid tea though. More because she loves milk and water and once they have a taste of something else, it''s hard to go back (I speak from personal experience). A sip of tea also probably would not quench her thirst, so I don''t see the point of giving any kid a sip of tea. I have a kid who loves two healthy beverages and there''s plenty of time later for all the crap that people gives their kids too early IMHO. But to each her own. Establishing water and milk first is best, unless you have a kid that just loves everything and won''t only want juice or whatever. For a kid like that, it''s wonderful because you can give her tastes of everything. My kid is picky and I have to work hard to make sure she''s getting a balanced diet.

If the youngest has had reflux since birth, I don''t one can blame the mother. And having witnessed a kid with acid reflux, it''s not something that is a day at the beach at all, so I can see why it would condition a mother to be extra careful.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/21/2009 2:33:19 PM
Author: Pandora II
Personally I think they are OTT, but then you are talking to someone who ate sushi, lunchmeat and soft cheeses throughout pregnancy.

I did my research and avoided caffeine, alcohol and unpasteurised dairy products - otherwise I ate everything.


Daisy is 5 months and has tastes of everything I eat unl.ess it contains nuts or chocolate. Nothing in my house is sterilised nor do I use disinfectants or handwash stuff other than ordinary soap. So far she hasn''t had even a sniffle - mild temperature after second lot of shots and that is it. I believe in exposing and building a child''s immune system.

I actually think colds are good for kids.

But I agree, nothing in my house is sterilised either. I am being more cautious about general hand washing with the H1N1 going around.

 

[MustangGal]

My doc told me to limit coffee to 1 cup a day, and to stay away from lunchmeat and soft cheese. I went to Subway many times though, and I love feta and blue cheese, so I guess I really didn''t listen, but those are common restrictions these days.

My pedi also says no juice yet, but my baby is only 8 months. I don''t see much wrong with a sip of tea though! And I can''t wait until Kyle is ready to eat the same food as us, I plan on either blending or chopping things once he starts on meats, and we''ve even gived him bits of cheese.

I do think some moms are going crazy these days, my SIL sounds just like yours with her 3 year old, and she''s 6 weeks pregnant and making the same comments as your corworker. There''s so many books out there that recommend not to do things, if you listened to them all there wouldn''t be anything left to eat!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 10/21/2009 2:27:59 PM
Author: meresal
I've definitely heard worse.

Technically you aren't supposed to eat those things as pregnant, but it just depends on each person and what they are comfortable with. I can understand how it would be annoying to listen to her complain about it all the time though. Especially at 4 months, I would think she would be used to it by then.

As for your sister, every mom is different. My sister has a 5 y/o and she is not allowed to have caffine or sugar. So when my niece has sugar on special occassions she gets SO excited, and it is HILARIOUS!

She shoved her face in a whole bowl of ice cream one Christmas Eve and then proceeded to run aroudn the restaurant in circles no more than a minute later. Sooooo funny!!
FWIW, I don't think that mashed potatoes are ok for a 6 month old. I also would only feed another persons child what the mom gave me, or I would ask the parents before trying to give a child something. (Maybe this is just from being around my sister though.)
However, she is the mom and she can raise her kids however she feels comfortable. That is just how it is.

Why wouldn't you give a 6 month old mashed potatoes? It's one of the earliest recommended foods.

 

[kama_s]

I am a neonatal toxicologist, so I can answer some of those questions for you. You're allowed 150mg of caffeine in pregnancy. Studies have showed negative effects at levels higher than 400mg. A cup of coffee contains 100-140mg, a cup of tea anywhere from 40-80mg.

With deli meats, the concern is about Listeria. However, considering how many times one has gotten sick after consumption of deli meat, you'll know the chances of that are very very slim. I would recommend purchasing the deli meat from the same source that you've tried and tested, and make sure it's always stored properly.

ETA: Same concern with soft cheeses and Listeria since they're not pasteurized.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 10/21/2009 2:35:25 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 10/21/2009 2:33:19 PM
Author: Pandora II
Personally I think they are OTT, but then you are talking to someone who ate sushi, lunchmeat and soft cheeses throughout pregnancy.

I did my research and avoided caffeine, alcohol and unpasteurised dairy products - otherwise I ate everything.


Daisy is 5 months and has tastes of everything I eat unl.ess it contains nuts or chocolate. Nothing in my house is sterilised nor do I use disinfectants or handwash stuff other than ordinary soap. So far she hasn''t had even a sniffle - mild temperature after second lot of shots and that is it. I believe in exposing and building a child''s immune system.

I actually think colds are good for kids.

But I agree, nothing in my house is sterilised either. I am being more cautious about general hand washing with the H1N1 going around.

LOL - difficult to ''make'' her get one. The London Underground is pretty good exposure!

 

[fieryred33143]

Eh, on the pregnancy I guess it depends on how conservative you want to be and how conservative your OB/midwives are. I asked my OB about the lunch meat thing and she almost laughed at me. I lived off of turkey sandwiches from Subway for the first 7 weeks. It was all I wanted, every day. After that I gave it up. I gave up coffee because I don’t do American. The coffee I drink is really strong and really sweet (Cuban coffee for those that may know how that is prepared), so I just gave it up all together. I wasn’t into sodas. As for sugar: I ate a ton of sweets because I have a severe sweet tooth

Tea has more caffeine in it than coffee, FYI.

I won’t comment on the “what about my mother, aunts, grandmother” comment because I already commented on how I feel about those kinds of arguments.

As for the kids…she’s the mom and it’s her choice. Your SIL’s children are young and don’t need juices. The 6 month old is ok with just milk for now (doesn’t even technically need water) and her choice on how she wants to handle the 2 year old. My boss has a 3 year old that only drinks water, milk, and pure juices with no sugar added (and she rarely gives the juice).

Reflux is not because of the diet that she has chosen or is “her fault.” I know a lot of moms that have babies that suffer from severe reflux that would take offense to that comment.

I think it’s easy to say what you would/wouldn’t do but until you are there, you really don’t know.

 

[E B]

Date: 10/21/2009 2:18:33 PM
Author:radiantquest

My coworker is always complaining that she can't have this and can't have that. She whines about not being able to have things. Apparently she is not allowed to have ANY caffeine, sugar, or lunchmeat. I have never heard this before. Ever. I can understand not having coffee all day and not drinking only soda, but she refuses to even have one cup of hot tea because it has caffeine in it. She will not indulge in any chocolate. She refuses to eat any meat that isn't fresh from the bone. What is this all about? Is she taking things over the top? I wouldn't even really care except that she is always whining about it. She says that these things can hurt the baby. Really? What about my mother, aunts and grandmother, I bet they drank tea and had ham and cheese sandwiches and their babies are fine. I agree with not taking chances, but this seems extreme to me.

Has she suffered a loss?

I was like your friend when pregnant. Not a drop of caffeine or alcohol, no fish (easy for me!), very little chocolate. I'd had two previous miscarriages, however, and wasn't taking any chances. I raised a few eyebrows, was called extreme, and suffered from lack of chocolate, wine and coffee, but I'd do it all again.

Maybe she's being extra cautious because she's scared and feels out of control, as many women who've had MCs feel during a subsequent pregnancy. That, or she's just nutty.

(Kidding!)

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

In conversations with my doc about TTC, etc, she said that she''s only concerned about 4 things, smoking, alcohol, litter boxes (mainly cause she thinks they''re gross and the woman always gets stuck cleaning them), and a high caffeine intake. She said cold cuts were ok if they''re from a reputable place and fish is OK if you''re not eating it every night. Soft cheese she was also not really worried about.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 10/21/2009 3:01:45 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
In conversations with my doc about TTC, etc, she said that she''s only concerned about 4 things, smoking, alcohol, litter boxes (mainly cause she thinks they''re gross and the woman always gets stuck cleaning them), and a high caffeine intake. She said cold cuts were ok if they''re from a reputable place and fish is OK if you''re not eating it every night. Soft cheese she was also not really worried about.

Are you TTC? Best wishes!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Well not yet, first of the year, but I knew it was going to be this year so I figured I''d get all of my questions in at my annual. DH wishes it were sooner, but I just started a new job so I have to wait a few months so I''m eligible for FMLA when the time comes. Thanks though!

 

[janinegirly]

Like everyone has said, it really depends on the mother. Like an overly protective. OCD person will be that way no matter what the era. There are certainly more "dont's" now than compared to our mothers' genreration, and I'm sure the same willl be true when it's our daughters' turns.

I agree it's really ridiculous to complain about it to co-workers though, this isn't the kind of thing you complain about..I mean sure, I missed certain foods, but didn't really moan and mope about it to anyone except family/friends occassionally (and it was brief). Because it's all a question of judgement and balancing the guidlines of the medical community, with other mothers input and your own instinct..and there'll be alot more of that after the pregnancy's over!

For me personally, I did avoid caffeine, lunch meats, rare meat, sushi, alcohol, soft cheeses. There are some real risks with those, but of course if you sneak one in here and there, it's fine and not something to go postal over! I never heard the chocolate thing and ate that in boatloads. And avoiding caffeine just meant root beer and ginger ale for sodas, not eliminating soda all together. My dr. was ok with almost everything in moderation (including caffeine, sushi, one drink a month ,etc), but I just knew for me it had to be cold turkey or forget it.

With a little one, I just follow basic guidlelines, but I have a feeling I'll be pretty relaxed. I'm lucky that so far in that my daughter has no food/digestion issues and hasn't been sick yet (knock on wood), so it makes it easier to be relaxed. I've seen my SIL go nuts over anything sugary..I don't plan on being that crazed. But limiting empty calories is always a good thing, right? And tea/caffeine for a little one can mean a hyped up child! But again, a slip here and there and exposure is not freak-out worthy.

Not sure if I'm rambling, but I guess my point is yes, many of us to take precautions, but doesn't mean we have to be drill seargents about it or equate one misstep with a life altering mistake, etc.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

When I was pregnant I avoided:

- smoking
- alcohol
- kitty litter box
- soft cheeses

Everything else was free game. I ate at Subway, drank some caffinated beverages, and indulged a little too much in the Big Macs.

I don't smoke so that wasn't an issue. I also don't drink much when not pregnant so avoiding alcohol for 10 months was no big deal. Hubby got the litter box chore and we don't eat soft cheeses often. Easy enough for me.

My son is now 15 months old and he drinks only water and milk; and he's only had 100% juice a few times. I feel that he really doesn't need the extra sugar so we just don't give it to him regularly. We let him taste pretty much everything we eat though - he's even had a little bit of peanut butter, which isn't recommended until kids are 2 but we have no food allergies in our families so we're not overly worried about him having a bad reaction to it.

I agree that your OB can influence what you do or don't do/eat while pregnant and I think you should follow their opinon or seek a second if you have any doubts whatsoever.

ETA: DH or I are not germophobes either. We clean but don't go overboard and sanitize everything in sight.

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 10/21/2009 2:33:27 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 10/21/2009 2:18:33 PM
Author:radiantquest
I have a coworker that is about 4 months pregnant and my SIL has a two year old and a 6 month old.
I think both of these women are nuts about being careful and being super-mom. I may be way off base here so if you could tell me if this is normal I would appreciate it.

My coworker is always complaining that she can''t have this and can''t have that. She whines about not being able to have things. Apparently she is not allowed to have ANY caffeine, sugar, or lunchmeat. I have never heard this before. Ever. I can understand not having coffee all day and not drinking only soda, but she refuses to even have one cup of hot tea because it has caffeine in it. She will not indulge in any chocolate. She refuses to eat any meat that isn''t fresh from the bone. What is this all about? Is she taking things over the top? I wouldn''t even really care except that she is always whining about it. She says that these things can hurt the baby. Really? What about my mother, aunts and grandmother, I bet they drank tea and had ham and cheese sandwiches and their babies are fine. I agree with not taking chances, but this seems extreme to me.

My SIL will not let her kids taste anything. Somtimes when we eat at her house and the babies are small, not infants I would want to let them taste food. Like a little sauce on my fingertip or mashed potatoes, something like that and she would feak out. They are not allowed to drink anything but milk and water. One day I was visiting in the summer and we were all outside. I had an oolong tea flavored with blueberry. The older one was sweating and clearly thirsty and asked for a drink. I was going to give him a sip and she said no. A sip? What is wrong with that? She even makes seperate meals for the babes. We eat pretty healthy at her house and still they have special meals. They are rarely allowed cheese. Neither kid has any special food allergies, as of yet that she needs to worry about. One thing that I find odd is that they are sick ALL THE TIME. I think it is because of her. The youngest has had a problem with acid reflux since birth. They have both been to the hospital several times.

The thread about different parenting got me thinking about this. Are these women going overboard? I think so. If it were me I would be careful, but I would eat lunchmeat and chocolate. My kids would have choices about their foods as long as they were healthy. My SILs poor kids will never know the greatness of a grilled cheese.

What''s wrong with grilled cheese?

You can have some caffeine, but if a lot of woman don''t. Some women have sandwiches, but deli meat at a deli is one thing that I definitely avoided. Odds are low, but if you do get listeria, the collateral damage is great. Chocolate? I didn''t eat a ton of it, but a little doesn''t kill an otherwise healthy pregnant woman.

How small are the kids? I don''t see any issue with mashed potatoes. Honestly, I wouldn''t give my kid tea though. More because she loves milk and water and once they have a taste of something else, it''s hard to go back (I speak from personal experience). A sip of tea also probably would not quench her thirst, so I don''t see the point of giving any kid a sip of tea. I have a kid who loves two healthy beverages and there''s plenty of time later for all the crap that people gives their kids too early IMHO. But to each her own. Establishing water and milk first is best, unless you have a kid that just loves everything and won''t only want juice or whatever. For a kid like that, it''s wonderful because you can give her tastes of everything. My kid is picky and I have to work hard to make sure she''s getting a balanced diet.

If the youngest has had reflux since birth, I don''t one can blame the mother. And having witnessed a kid with acid reflux, it''s not something that is a day at the beach at all, so I can see why it would condition a mother to be extra careful.

yea, what is wrong with grilled cheese--C eats it all the time and loves cheese!

 

[kama_s]

Date: 10/21/2009 3:01:45 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
litter boxes (mainly cause she thinks they''re gross and the woman always gets stuck cleaning them)

Pregnant women should avoid clearing out litter boxes because there is a concern with toxoplasmosis. If you have to do it on your own, wear gloves and a mask and wash hands properly right after. Litter boxes should also be cleared every 24 hours.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 10/21/2009 3:13:32 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007
When I was pregnant I avoided:

- smoking
- alcohol
- kitty litter box
- soft cheeses

Everything else was free game. I ate at Subway, drank some caffinated beverages, and indulged a little too much in the Big Macs.

I don''t smoke so that wasn''t an issue. I also don''t drink much when not pregnant so avoiding alcohol for 10 months was no big deal. Hubby got the litter box chore and we don''t eat soft cheeses often. Easy enough for me.

My son is now 15 months old and he drinks only water and milk; and he''s only had 100% juice a few times. I feel that he really doesn''t need the extra sugar so we just don''t give it to him regularly. We let him taste pretty much everything we eat though - he''s even had a little bit of peanut butter, which isn''t recommended until kids are 2 but we have no food allergies in our families so we''re not overly worried about him having a bad reaction to it.

I agree that your OB can influence what you do or don''t do/eat while pregnant and I think you should follow their opinon or seek a second if you have any doubts whatsoever.

ETA: DH or I are not germophobes either. We clean but don''t go overboard and sanitize everything in sight.

Ditto to this completely.

I have no avoided caffiene, sushi, or any type of cheese (but then, I never eat the soft cheeses anyway). I even had a couple Subway sandwiches so far. My midwife told me to warm up the meat in the microwave first if I ate deli meat, but that was downright revolting and ruined my sandwich. I think everything in moderation is a lot different than going crazy and drinking 4 cokes a day, and having wine with every dinner.

I am a first time mom, so I don''t really know how I will be with my kids, but I do want to limit their sugar intake (a sip of tea or juice will certainly not kill them, but not a glass every day!) and expose them to a lot of foods to be aware of food allergies ASAP. Neither my husband nor I have food allergies, but I would rather learn about it with a tiny taste at home than sending my kid off to kindergarten with a baggy of strawberries and not being there when they had a really bad allergic reaction.

 

[Sabine]

There is such a broad spectrum that you will find in terms of overprotectiveness.

In my personal opinion, both are going overboard on everything EXCEPT the not allowing the kids to drink anything other than milk and water. I was raised on juice and koolaid, and I never drank milk, and still don''t like to. I recently cut out juice from my diet, and the results have been pretty shocking, so I won''t be going back, but I still have to force myself to drink water. And I honestly think at a young age, one sip of that stuff will being enough to ensue a tantrum if they decide they want a flavored drink rather than the milk and water.

During my pregnancy I ate lunchmeat and had artificial sweetners, etc., but that stuff does pose at least some risk, so it really just depends on how comfortable you are with taking that risk.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 10/21/2009 4:32:20 PM
Author: MonkeyPie


Ditto to this completely.

I have no avoided caffiene, sushi, or any type of cheese (but then, I never eat the soft cheeses anyway). I even had a couple Subway sandwiches so far. My midwife told me to warm up the meat in the microwave first if I ate deli meat, but that was downright revolting and ruined my sandwich. I think everything in moderation is a lot different than going crazy and drinking 4 cokes a day, and having wine with every dinner.

I am a first time mom, so I don''t really know how I will be with my kids, but I do want to limit their sugar intake (a sip of tea or juice will certainly not kill them, but not a glass every day!) and expose them to a lot of foods to be aware of food allergies ASAP. Neither my husband nor I have food allergies, but I would rather learn about it with a tiny taste at home than sending my kid off to kindergarten with a baggy of strawberries and not being there when they had a really bad allergic reaction.

OMG, it''s TOTALLY revolting, I agree! I wanted a sandwich, so I did this. After that, it actually turned me off sandwiches for good.

 

[qtiekiki]

I don’t think your coworker is OTT for not consuming caffeine, sugar and lunchmeat. It’s a personal choice whether the mom wants to take the risks of eating those things. But I would be annoyed with her whining.

I can understand why your SIL doesn’t want her kid having the tea. I don’t quite get the “no mashed potatoes” thing, especially for the 2 years old. And how come she won’t give cheese? It’s a source of calcium. It makes sense that she is careful with 6 months old because of acid reflux, but I think the 2 years old can be eating what the adults eat. With all that said, your SIL is the mom and it’s her choice how she want to feed her babies.

 

[Mara]

I love grilled cheese!! Mmmm.

When we traveled to Spain I didn''t eat their cured ham or their soft cheeses. It was so sad. I did nibble on one of greg''s cheeses once and it was so good. But this was because I didn''t really know anything about their pasteurization processes. However, part of me wonders then why I could drink milk or dairy there. Anyway. I did eat some smoked salmon there and was fine.

In the US most of our soft cheeses are pasteurized, anything sold in the supermarket is. And if you ask most restaurants they will tell you what they buy. I don''t eat deli meat just because I don''t eat packaged meat BUT I eat sandwiches from like bakeries and sandwich shops all the time. They don''t use what I could consider ''deli meat'', but rather shave it directly off the turkey or roast beef leg and into the sandwich. I think with any meats you are taking a risk in general even when not preggo also!

I eat some sushi rolls about once a month at my fave place which I have been going to for 10 years. Dr said if I have never gotten sick in 10 years, chances are I will not get sick now. But yes there is a chance.

But a ''chance'' is like a chance of anything. I could get hit walking across the street. I could get salmonella from eggs. So I don''t QUITE understand why certain things are restricted but not others that are just as risky (if not considered more by some). I also drank some sangria in Spain, and indulge in a bit of wine from time to time. So I try not to be too paranoid overall, and I don''t cut anything out entirely.

As eBree said too I could see if a loss had occurred previously, people would really err on the side of extreme caution. I also see this with my friend who has been trying to get preggo for like 7 months now. Dr told her to cut out a bunch of foods and all alcohol so she did...months ago. Now she is on some Mediterranean diet thing for TTC. I imagine when she is preggo she will be super paranoid and not eat anything she shouldn''t.

I figure to each their own on how they want to bake/grow their kid inside them and also how they want to parent them. My issue is when others try to push onto YOU what their beliefs are. aka one of my friends was in Sbucks recently and she was preggo and before she could even finish what she was ordering the lady goes...AND THATS DECAF RIGHT?

Or when one of my good friends was trying to make me PROMISE her never to spank my child. I thought she would start crying when I said I couldn''t guarantee that.

 

[waxing lyrical]

I enjoy chocolate and I eat a good deal of salmon. Yum! I also eat sushi and if I eat deli meat I nuke it in the microwave. I''ve had soft cheeses a few times during this pregnancy. My midwife doesn''t hand out a ''do not eat'' list. She expects her clients to use common sense and most are aware of good nutrition already.

I''m not into lots of caffeine, though. I very rarely drink pop and I''ve had coffee a handful of times this pregnancy. I pretty much ate this way during my other three pregnancies.

I really don''t get the big deal about Sushi. Pregnant women in other cultures don''t stop eating sushi once they become pregnant. There are more issues with contaminated chicken than fish in the states. None of my Japanese friends stopped eating sushi due to their pregnant status. Perhaps it''s a Western thing and something foreign to most Westerners.

Pasteurized soft cheese is fine to consume. If it''s made from pasteurized milk then what''s the issue?

 

[TravelingGal]

Mara, I had decaf until I realized that the chemicals in decaf are probably worse than the caffeine. So I had a teeny shot of espresso (less caffeine than drip coffee) with a lot of warm milk. It still had a slight coffee taste but wasn''t too bad for me.

 

[radiantquest]

I know that they are the mommies and I don''t argue about the choices they make. The coworker complains so much I asked her one day if she hated it so much then why did she get pregnant. I know that this is kinda harsh, but I had enough.

My SIL is super careful. When the tea situation came about it was what I considred a special occasion. We were having a family get together. She lives an hour from us so it is not as if I am corrupting her children with food tasting and tea. I hardly ever see them and honestly he could have had the sip and would have forgot all about it when she didn''t offer it to him again. Or maybe he would get real excited when he saw Aunt Radianquest because he gets treats when I am around. That is neither here nor there. I just wonder why. Everyone in the family thinks she is overboard. We don''t intend to undermine her, but they always get little things that she doesn''t let them have when they are in the care of another family member. Hubby, me, her mother, her father, even her husband.

For some reason she doesn''t let them have cheese. If it is a cheese type dish she will limit how much of the cheese they actually get. No string chesses or grilled cheese or extra cheese pizza for these kids.

fiery- as far as the acid reflux goes I don''t blame that on her at all. He had it since birth so there is no way that it could be his diet. I guess the two issues meshed together. I think that they are sick all the time because she doesn''t expose them to anything and they are not building up their own defense systems.

 

[TravelingGal]

RQ, my take is even if I don''t agree with it, if it doesn''t affect ME or MY KID, I don''t really give a rat''s ass.

I do, however, think it''s totally OK to think someone is crazy and to vocalize my thoughts to a willing audience.

 

[Mara]

yeah TG i thought that about decaf too, i mean it''s not NATURAL. so now i get half-caf mostly..i need a little something in the mornings to deal with all my conference calls!!

 

[Blenheim]

They''re stricter than I am, but there are people who think that I''m too strict and some who think I''m too lax... everyone has their own opinion.

Date: 10/21/2009 2:51:34 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 10/21/2009 2:27:59 PM
Author: meresal
I''ve definitely heard worse.

Technically you aren''t supposed to eat those things as pregnant, but it just depends on each person and what they are comfortable with. I can understand how it would be annoying to listen to her complain about it all the time though. Especially at 4 months, I would think she would be used to it by then.

As for your sister, every mom is different. My sister has a 5 y/o and she is not allowed to have caffine or sugar. So when my niece has sugar on special occassions she gets SO excited, and it is HILARIOUS!

She shoved her face in a whole bowl of ice cream one Christmas Eve and then proceeded to run aroudn the restaurant in circles no more than a minute later. Sooooo funny!!
FWIW, I don''t think that mashed potatoes are ok for a 6 month old. I also would only feed another persons child what the mom gave me, or I would ask the parents before trying to give a child something. (Maybe this is just from being around my sister though.)
However, she is the mom and she can raise her kids however she feels comfortable. That is just how it is.

Why wouldn''t you give a 6 month old mashed potatoes? It''s one of the earliest recommended foods.

We make our mashed potatoes with milk or cream, and you''re not "supposed" to introduce cow milk until 12 months (or at least that''s the official recommendation in the US)... but I''m pretty sure that recommendation is to keep people from replacing breastmilk/formula with cows milk before that age. I think the official age here when you can introduce yogurt is 8 months, so I don''t see any issues with mashed potatoes after that age. Do they recommend sooner in the UK? Or do you make mashed potatoes with just potatoes?

 

[curlygirl]

Date: 10/21/2009 7:39:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal
RQ, my take is even if I don''t agree with it, if it doesn''t affect ME or MY KID, I don''t really give a rat''s ass.

I do, however, think it''s totally OK to think someone is crazy and to vocalize my thoughts to a willing audience.

+1 Right on, TGal!!!