Fair to ask jeweler to do this ?

[saytoken]

hi all, want to share with you my story and know what you think.

We''ve picked the ring together at a jeweler store(I''ve my own diamond already). Everything is ready and today I went to the store to gave them my diamond so they can set it into the ring.

He looked surprised that I was going to wait for him in the store while he sets the ring, and then I asked him how he can assure me I''m getting the same diamond back when he''s done, he said I would have to trust him. I then politely asked if he will weights the diamond and the ring or at least do something to make me more comfortable, he got very pissed and said "No I''m not doing it, take your diamond..etc...if I said I''m not doing it, I''m not doing it", he walked back into his store and left me standing there.

He seems offended that I don''t trust him, which I can understand. But at the same time, I would be alot more comfortble if he can somehow assure me I''m getting the same diamond back, I can''t trust him merely because he said I have to. He got such a bad temper, and just leave me without a ring and didn''t even want to discuss alternative again, it''s like there is no way he will set the ring for me.

In the end, I didn''t get my ring, and I planned to propose tomorrow, so now I need alternatives, but that''s not what I want to complain here.

What I want to know if it is fair for me to make such request ? Would you do the same ? It''s so bad that the jeweler would say he''s not going to put together the ring when I''m proposing the next day ? I''ve many reasons to think I''m mistreated, but I don''t think I share that, i''m more interested in knowing what you think ?

Thanks !

 

[Kaleigh]

I think he mishandled the situation, but at the same time you can''t expect a jeweler to set a stone while you wait. Most jeweler''s don''t operate like that. What he should have done is have you loupe the stone and map out the inclusions then upon you picking up the ring he would have you loupe it again showing you that indeed it is your stone. You probably got him on a bad day and he felt insulted. I see where you''re coming from, but honestly have to say that most jewelers are very honest and are good people. Their reputation is all they have, and it means their livelihood. HTH, and good luck!!!

 

[AChiOAlumna]

I agree with kaleigh. He might have had an off day, but he did handle it incorrectly.

When I bought my setting from a separate jeweler, I had the jeweler from whom I had bought the center stone set it for me. I asked him how I knew it would be the same stone. He showed me the stone I was purchasing and then when I came back to pick it up the next day, he "mapped" it out for me again showing me the same characteristics as the stone I purchased the day before. He was not insulted, and was glad to see I was on top of my stone.

You have every right to ensure your stone IS your stone. Many jewelers don''t have customer wait to set a ring, but there are other ways to ensure it IS your stone.

 

[saytoken]

Considering that I''ve planned to propose tomorrow, he should have at least try to work something out, I was standing there by myself helplessly.

 

[ammayernyc]

I don''t mean to play devil''s advocate, but is there any reason you waiting until the day before you were going to propose to have the stone set? No offense, but it really wasn''t the jewelers problem that you waited until the last minute.

 

[saytoken]

Unfortunately, we''ve a tight timeline as we''re relocating to other cities, overall I do think I did not handle the whole thing well.

 

[AChiOAlumna]

Date: 8/26/2005 5:43:03 PM
Author: AmandaPanda
I don''t mean to play devil''s advocate, but is there any reason you waiting until the day before you were going to propose to have the stone set? No offense, but it really wasn''t the jewelers problem that you waited until the last minute.

AP...I was thinking the same thing.

There is the potential for too many things to go wrong (diamond setter sick, setting is unacceptable, etc.) to wait until the day before you proposal to set the diamond. Many jewelers have a 24-hour policy where they have up to 24 hours to set the diamond, especially if there are emergencies or back orders to fill.

Can you postpone the proposal? If not...one idea is to propose with just the diamond and explain to your new FI that you wanted her to participate in choosing the setting...this way you''ll still show your good-faith efforts and she''ll be excited to be part of the process & have a ring she loves in the end!

 

[Maxine]

I can understand how you feel....but I guess it might have been better to call ahead to find out the policy regarding your staying to wait for the stone.....Did you want to watch him, too???
Steve has an article here somewhee about setting rings, and after reading it, I think I would rather just wait to see the fiished product than to watch....I would probably be a nervous wreck!!!

 

[cqdiep]

I took my stone to a very reputable store where I bought the ring. It was a Scott Kay setting, which requires the store to send my stone to Scott Kay for them to mount it themselves. The store OFFERED me to look at my stone under the scope to make sure I know where the inclusions are, so that when I get it back, I can make sure it''s the same stone. I was suprised by this, because I didn''t even think of asking to do this. Anyway, If it''s a reputable store, they wouldn''t have a problem with your request, and may even suggest it.

 

[Maxine]

Date: 8/26/2005 5:49:03 PM
Author: Feydakin
The problem is that to set a stone properly, and finish it properly, and have it look perfect, takes time.. And most of us have a lot of work stacked up all the time.. So walking in and asking to wait while he sets the stone is unrealistic at best.. It throws off the entire day really.. Especially since most jewelry work is done in batches of several rings at the same time so that each step is done as a group.. Now, if you had called ahead and explained the situation, and scheduled an appointment to have the stone set, then it should have been, and would have been, no problem to wait the half hour to hour that it would take to set the stone properly..

As for the just trust me statement.. That was handled poorly.. There are a lot of ways to show you how to identify your own diamond so that you can feel comfortable in being able to tell it is yours on your own.. But in the end, stone swapping is incredibly rare.. It requires that the theif have a similar stone, of dramatically lesser value, or even a synthetic stone of similar shape and size, just waiting to pop into your ring.. It''s simply not that common..

ETA: Here is the link to the setting article:
http://www.pricescope.com/forum/topic25762.html

Glad you chimed in, Steve, thanks for the link!!! I knew it was stored here somewhere......

 

[MissAva]

Yes I think it is fair to ask a jewler to map out your stone, or for you to do it with their help. To expect him to set it on the spot with out an appt no I dont think that is fair.

 

[tareyton]

The way I am handling this is having an independant appraiser appraise the stone loose then appraise the finished product. Then there is no doubt about the stone being swapped and I have an expert to back up my claim. But like others said I would be very surprised if a Jewler would try and pull a switch

 

[Richard Sherwood]

Don''t take it personally. It''s just an indicator of where the jeweler''s at, emotionally. Too insecure to handle a reasonable request.

Good will come out of it. Just don''t swallow that emotional poison. It''s his problem, not yours.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 8/27/2005 11:14:18 PM
Author: Richard Sherwood
Don''t take it personally. It''s just an indicator of where the jeweler''s at, emotionally. Too insecure to handle a reasonable request.


Good will come out of it. Just don''t swallow that emotional poison. It''s his problem, not yours.

Well said.

 

[Richard Sherwood]

Thanks. Took me fifty-one years to learn that.

 

[laney]

I guess I''m going against what most have said here.

I had my own stone and a jeweler that I bought the setting from.

They looked at my stone - to see the inclusions and weighed it before settting it.

3 times (two different stones.. they set)

1st time - they set while I waited. It was no problem at all - and even asked if I''d like to wait.

The second time (new stone) they set it for me and asked if I''d like to come back and watch.

Third time, I needed to go back to work - so I didn''t wait - but they actually asked if I''d like to. Yes, It does take a while to polish and set - about 1 hour and a half or so for mine - but they were nothing but friendly about the whole process - and let me borrow the loupe when it was done to "view" the stone.

So - NO it is not unreasonable. 3 times it wasn''t unreasonable. So I guess it depends on your jeweler.

Sorry about your situation though. That''s pretty rough

 

[saytoken]

We had an appointment to set the stones, it just happens to be the day before I propose.

Glad to let you all who have made this whole process from researching, making the purchase, setting the stones, and even ideas for proposing, a much more informed and rewarding experience. She said yes last Saturday. Thanks again !

We ended up with a different store to set our stone and I''m happy she was involved in that process too.

Thanks again !

Ken.

 

[belle]

congrats on your engagement ken. i hope you will post pics of the ring for us!

 

[laney]

Congratulations!

 

[snuflz]

Congratulations on your engagement! I''m sorry you had a bad experience with your jeweler. I know this is kinda late to chime in but I wanted to add my .02 cents. I don''t think it''s an unusual request at all to watch them set the stone. We had an appointment with my jeweler to set the stone. My fiance and I were able to watch the jeweler every step of the setting process because the jeweler''s work station had two windows you can view from. In fact, my fiance stood outside and stared through the window for the whole hour it took the jeweler to set the stone and polish the ring. I was also able to put in a last minute request to change the look of the prongs.

 

[WinkHPD]

Many of us jewelers really do not want you to leave your stone without looking at it in the microscope. If there is a problem with your stone, I want you to see it PRIOR to leaving my office so I never have to worry about you thinking I had any thing to do with it.

When you pick it up you are welcome to look at it again, although surprisingly few ever bother, even when I ask if they would like to.

Personally I would think that someone who gets offended at asking to be made safe is not someone I would want working on anything of mine.

Sorry you had such a bad time, but many of the people here have testified to the fact that the jeweler over reacted to your request to know how you would know it was your stone. Yes, it is a very upsetting question, if you let it be, but the fact is that a jeweler has no more right than a banker or a stock broker or an attorney to be upset if someone wants to know how they are going to protect their clients. When you trust someone with something of value it is only normal to expect it to be returned and to want to know how you will be shown that it is the same stone that you left seems perfectly normal to me.

Wink