cherry_vanilla
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2006
- Messages
- 76
I''ve been AFK (actually, AFP - away from PS - would probably be better!) for a while due to starting my internship. I''ve been skimming some of the entries that I missed - congrats to everyone who got engaged in the meantime!
Anyway, in the time since I''ve been on two of my friends ended their engagements. Not surprisingly, both girls got engaged before the 2 year mark (one of them before the one year mark!) and both ended in way less time than my boyfriend and I have been together. Granted both of my friends were on the young side (20 and 22) so coupled with a quick race to the engagement line and the fact that neither relationship had any more "marriage planning" to it than a pretty ring and calling him fiance instead of boyfriend... it''s not completely shocking that the relationships eventually ended. I''m not uber-close to either of them, but it was pretty clear to a number of our mutual friends that they both rushed into it as some sort of "relationship insurance," either to justify moving in together or a band-aid to not so good LDR communication. Not that we''d hope they''d break up or anything, just slow the heck down before it backfired!
And even though I rationally know that both my friends were not in stable enough relationships to honestly consider marriage beyond the Barbie Dream Wedding, it still kind of shook me up. Not in the "OMG if they broke up we have no chance!!1" way or anything, but it''s strange, unsettling almost to see people taking back that serious step that I''m (mostly) ready for but waiting on. I''d probably be more unsettled had they been in stable, healthy relationships that were ready for marriage in the not too distant future since that could be me in a year or two moreso than this particular situation, but I''d be lying if it didn''t make me think.
I tried explaining it to my boyfriend (who I already have to hold back from leaping into full-on planning mode and telling everyone when we''re getting married before we''re engaged, but that''s another topic entirely!) and he just saw it as crappy doomed for failure relationships ending where they now have to give back the ring or wind up on Judge Judy big deal.
We all know what it''s like when your friends/family gets engaged before you, so how do you all feel when those very engagements break up before yours starts?
Anyway, in the time since I''ve been on two of my friends ended their engagements. Not surprisingly, both girls got engaged before the 2 year mark (one of them before the one year mark!) and both ended in way less time than my boyfriend and I have been together. Granted both of my friends were on the young side (20 and 22) so coupled with a quick race to the engagement line and the fact that neither relationship had any more "marriage planning" to it than a pretty ring and calling him fiance instead of boyfriend... it''s not completely shocking that the relationships eventually ended. I''m not uber-close to either of them, but it was pretty clear to a number of our mutual friends that they both rushed into it as some sort of "relationship insurance," either to justify moving in together or a band-aid to not so good LDR communication. Not that we''d hope they''d break up or anything, just slow the heck down before it backfired!
And even though I rationally know that both my friends were not in stable enough relationships to honestly consider marriage beyond the Barbie Dream Wedding, it still kind of shook me up. Not in the "OMG if they broke up we have no chance!!1" way or anything, but it''s strange, unsettling almost to see people taking back that serious step that I''m (mostly) ready for but waiting on. I''d probably be more unsettled had they been in stable, healthy relationships that were ready for marriage in the not too distant future since that could be me in a year or two moreso than this particular situation, but I''d be lying if it didn''t make me think.
I tried explaining it to my boyfriend (who I already have to hold back from leaping into full-on planning mode and telling everyone when we''re getting married before we''re engaged, but that''s another topic entirely!) and he just saw it as crappy doomed for failure relationships ending where they now have to give back the ring or wind up on Judge Judy big deal.
We all know what it''s like when your friends/family gets engaged before you, so how do you all feel when those very engagements break up before yours starts?