I live in the city in a secure flat. Very occasionally, the doorbell rings early in the morning when it's still dark. It's always 6am and they always ring twice. It doesn't happen often, maybe once every six-eight months. It happened yesterday morning, and I slept really badly last night waiting for it to happen again this morning, because it often happens two consecutive nights and the bell is right by our bedroom - and high-pitched.
I was discussing it with my husband and I said it reminds me of the calls I used to receive a decade ago. I was living alone in London but it was a very secure flat. The calls started about a week after I moved in and got a new phone number. Someone would call late at night, between 11pm and midnight, and just say nothing. It happened about 8-10 times between late 2002 and 2004.
At the time, since it was a new phone number and since hardly anyone had it, I assumed it was someone calling to bother whichever person had this phone number before me. (I assumed that it wasn't a newly generated number, but with no grounds for that assumption.) And it was such a secure block, and very high up, that I wasn't really worried.
Now, the ONLY people who had that number were my parents, a very small handful of lifelong trusted friends (like, 4) and my office. My office was only ten people. The number was ex-directory. Hardly ANYONE had that new number.
Later, I found out that the only male employee apart from the boss had a major crush on me and that's why he wouldn't speak to me for two years. We discussed it, and he said, "I can't be friends with you." He was immature, had hardly had any girlfriends and was very inexperienced with women. However, in general he was really a very nice guy.
Looking back, I attributed the calls to him, and have done so for a number of years. It never occurred to me that it would be anyone else in the office, and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be another woman, out to terrify me due to professional jealousy.
Until last night, when we were discussing it due to the doorbell issue, and my husband said he thought it was a particular girl in the office who had a problem with me. I was stunned, and then all the pieces began falling into place. This girl was overlooked at work by the boss, admittedly, which made her quite bitter and competitive. I had some successes at work and she didn't like that. However, we had been good friends and I had a sleepover at her house....until I moved into that lovely flat and bam! She suddenly went weird on me.
I had been flat-sharing in a scruffy place in expensive central London, and I moved out to the eastern docklands in order to be able to afford my own place. It was GORGEOUS, right on a wide sweep of river with a decked balcony - oh, it was heaven. I simply could not believe that I was going to live in such a lovely flat, and on my own, at long last. Since she was a friend, and since she owned her own flat whereas I was only renting (although her flat was not so nice, in a horrible part of London), it never occurred to me that I'd set off the green-eyed monster. In my excitement, I really went on about my flat, thinking it was safe to do so since she was an owner and I wasn't. As soon as I moved in, she went totally weird on me and stayed that way.
Previously, this girl had told me that whenever she rented out her spare room, she waited until her tenant was out and then she and a friend would do a "rummage". Yes, she actually would go into the tenant's room and rummage through all her things. So, we know that this girl is a low-calibre individual who stoops to such things.
The calls were never that late, always before midnight - because, perhaps, the person had to get up for an office job. And the person never said anything, was just silent. This also indicates to me that it was someone I knew. If they had spoken to threaten me, I would have recognised their voice. Also, if it was someone who was trying to scare a previous owner of the number, why would they keep calling me?
I also know for a fact that this girl developed a dislike of me because I found some emails she'd written about me, confirming my suspicions.
The timing - the fact that she went funny on me when I got that flat, and the calls started almost as soon as I moved in, and no one had that number except family, 4 lifelong friends and the office, and she had a problem with me anyway, and she is the spiteful sort who goes through the personal belongings of others...all the signs are pointing to the north. Of course, I can't accuse her as I have no proof, and it might not have been her anyway.
It's really bothering me this morning because of the doorbell issue and because I've only just realised, all these years later, who the most likely candidate really was. Never in a million years did I dream that one woman would potentially do that to another, which is why I never suspected her. I feel like - if it was her - she got away with it. I feel mad that I didn't immediately get a trace put on the line the first time it happened, and I feel that I was bullied - which makes me feel a fool, and as if I want to slap the culprit into the middle of next week, whoever it was.
Now, we have been in sporadic touch in the last few years, as all of us from that office are. I have no proof so I can't confront her, but I could easily email her, tell her I've put a few pieces together and simply ask if it was her. I have nothing to lose - she is not in my life anymore. I know she wouldn't admit it, but if it was her, I'd like her to know she's been rumbled, if a bit late in the day.
Oh - she also left that office under a cloud because she secretly set up a competing company, and the boss found out and went mad. So we know she's a bit of a lowlife.
So. Should I email her? Or should I let sleeping dogs lie? This is really bothering me today. I don't want to feel like a victim, but I do a bit, because the culprit was never made to feel sorry.
I hold on to one thing, if it was her: I never mentioned a word about it in the office. So, if it was someone in the office, they never got any satisfaction from upsetting me. The calls never bothered me that much because the building was so secure and I was high up (although she wouldn't know that, and she knew full well that I lived alone - I could have been on the ground floor for all she knew).
So. Shall I ask if it was her? Or shall I put it behind me, on the grounds that it was a long time ago?
There are more sophisticated ways, of course. I could always send her a chatty email, as we do occasionally, dropping in about my current doorbell issue and how crazy the city is. I could relate it back to when someone in our office was giving me threatening calls and I had a police trace put on the line so I knew who it was, but decided not to take action. If it wasn't her, she'd be all "Oh, who was it ? Do tell!" and if it WAS her....I probably wouldn't hear from her again, and she'd know she'd been found out.
I was discussing it with my husband and I said it reminds me of the calls I used to receive a decade ago. I was living alone in London but it was a very secure flat. The calls started about a week after I moved in and got a new phone number. Someone would call late at night, between 11pm and midnight, and just say nothing. It happened about 8-10 times between late 2002 and 2004.
At the time, since it was a new phone number and since hardly anyone had it, I assumed it was someone calling to bother whichever person had this phone number before me. (I assumed that it wasn't a newly generated number, but with no grounds for that assumption.) And it was such a secure block, and very high up, that I wasn't really worried.
Now, the ONLY people who had that number were my parents, a very small handful of lifelong trusted friends (like, 4) and my office. My office was only ten people. The number was ex-directory. Hardly ANYONE had that new number.
Later, I found out that the only male employee apart from the boss had a major crush on me and that's why he wouldn't speak to me for two years. We discussed it, and he said, "I can't be friends with you." He was immature, had hardly had any girlfriends and was very inexperienced with women. However, in general he was really a very nice guy.
Looking back, I attributed the calls to him, and have done so for a number of years. It never occurred to me that it would be anyone else in the office, and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be another woman, out to terrify me due to professional jealousy.
Until last night, when we were discussing it due to the doorbell issue, and my husband said he thought it was a particular girl in the office who had a problem with me. I was stunned, and then all the pieces began falling into place. This girl was overlooked at work by the boss, admittedly, which made her quite bitter and competitive. I had some successes at work and she didn't like that. However, we had been good friends and I had a sleepover at her house....until I moved into that lovely flat and bam! She suddenly went weird on me.
I had been flat-sharing in a scruffy place in expensive central London, and I moved out to the eastern docklands in order to be able to afford my own place. It was GORGEOUS, right on a wide sweep of river with a decked balcony - oh, it was heaven. I simply could not believe that I was going to live in such a lovely flat, and on my own, at long last. Since she was a friend, and since she owned her own flat whereas I was only renting (although her flat was not so nice, in a horrible part of London), it never occurred to me that I'd set off the green-eyed monster. In my excitement, I really went on about my flat, thinking it was safe to do so since she was an owner and I wasn't. As soon as I moved in, she went totally weird on me and stayed that way.
Previously, this girl had told me that whenever she rented out her spare room, she waited until her tenant was out and then she and a friend would do a "rummage". Yes, she actually would go into the tenant's room and rummage through all her things. So, we know that this girl is a low-calibre individual who stoops to such things.
The calls were never that late, always before midnight - because, perhaps, the person had to get up for an office job. And the person never said anything, was just silent. This also indicates to me that it was someone I knew. If they had spoken to threaten me, I would have recognised their voice. Also, if it was someone who was trying to scare a previous owner of the number, why would they keep calling me?
I also know for a fact that this girl developed a dislike of me because I found some emails she'd written about me, confirming my suspicions.
The timing - the fact that she went funny on me when I got that flat, and the calls started almost as soon as I moved in, and no one had that number except family, 4 lifelong friends and the office, and she had a problem with me anyway, and she is the spiteful sort who goes through the personal belongings of others...all the signs are pointing to the north. Of course, I can't accuse her as I have no proof, and it might not have been her anyway.
It's really bothering me this morning because of the doorbell issue and because I've only just realised, all these years later, who the most likely candidate really was. Never in a million years did I dream that one woman would potentially do that to another, which is why I never suspected her. I feel like - if it was her - she got away with it. I feel mad that I didn't immediately get a trace put on the line the first time it happened, and I feel that I was bullied - which makes me feel a fool, and as if I want to slap the culprit into the middle of next week, whoever it was.
Now, we have been in sporadic touch in the last few years, as all of us from that office are. I have no proof so I can't confront her, but I could easily email her, tell her I've put a few pieces together and simply ask if it was her. I have nothing to lose - she is not in my life anymore. I know she wouldn't admit it, but if it was her, I'd like her to know she's been rumbled, if a bit late in the day.
Oh - she also left that office under a cloud because she secretly set up a competing company, and the boss found out and went mad. So we know she's a bit of a lowlife.
So. Should I email her? Or should I let sleeping dogs lie? This is really bothering me today. I don't want to feel like a victim, but I do a bit, because the culprit was never made to feel sorry.
I hold on to one thing, if it was her: I never mentioned a word about it in the office. So, if it was someone in the office, they never got any satisfaction from upsetting me. The calls never bothered me that much because the building was so secure and I was high up (although she wouldn't know that, and she knew full well that I lived alone - I could have been on the ground floor for all she knew).
So. Shall I ask if it was her? Or shall I put it behind me, on the grounds that it was a long time ago?
There are more sophisticated ways, of course. I could always send her a chatty email, as we do occasionally, dropping in about my current doorbell issue and how crazy the city is. I could relate it back to when someone in our office was giving me threatening calls and I had a police trace put on the line so I knew who it was, but decided not to take action. If it wasn't her, she'd be all "Oh, who was it ? Do tell!" and if it WAS her....I probably wouldn't hear from her again, and she'd know she'd been found out.