Crank Calls Bothering Me a Decade Later

[Smith1942]

I live in the city in a secure flat. Very occasionally, the doorbell rings early in the morning when it's still dark. It's always 6am and they always ring twice. It doesn't happen often, maybe once every six-eight months. It happened yesterday morning, and I slept really badly last night waiting for it to happen again this morning, because it often happens two consecutive nights and the bell is right by our bedroom - and high-pitched.

I was discussing it with my husband and I said it reminds me of the calls I used to receive a decade ago. I was living alone in London but it was a very secure flat. The calls started about a week after I moved in and got a new phone number. Someone would call late at night, between 11pm and midnight, and just say nothing. It happened about 8-10 times between late 2002 and 2004.

At the time, since it was a new phone number and since hardly anyone had it, I assumed it was someone calling to bother whichever person had this phone number before me. (I assumed that it wasn't a newly generated number, but with no grounds for that assumption.) And it was such a secure block, and very high up, that I wasn't really worried.

Now, the ONLY people who had that number were my parents, a very small handful of lifelong trusted friends (like, 4) and my office. My office was only ten people. The number was ex-directory. Hardly ANYONE had that new number.

Later, I found out that the only male employee apart from the boss had a major crush on me and that's why he wouldn't speak to me for two years. We discussed it, and he said, "I can't be friends with you." He was immature, had hardly had any girlfriends and was very inexperienced with women. However, in general he was really a very nice guy.

Looking back, I attributed the calls to him, and have done so for a number of years. It never occurred to me that it would be anyone else in the office, and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be another woman, out to terrify me due to professional jealousy.

Until last night, when we were discussing it due to the doorbell issue, and my husband said he thought it was a particular girl in the office who had a problem with me. I was stunned, and then all the pieces began falling into place. This girl was overlooked at work by the boss, admittedly, which made her quite bitter and competitive. I had some successes at work and she didn't like that. However, we had been good friends and I had a sleepover at her house....until I moved into that lovely flat and bam! She suddenly went weird on me.

I had been flat-sharing in a scruffy place in expensive central London, and I moved out to the eastern docklands in order to be able to afford my own place. It was GORGEOUS, right on a wide sweep of river with a decked balcony - oh, it was heaven. I simply could not believe that I was going to live in such a lovely flat, and on my own, at long last. Since she was a friend, and since she owned her own flat whereas I was only renting (although her flat was not so nice, in a horrible part of London), it never occurred to me that I'd set off the green-eyed monster. In my excitement, I really went on about my flat, thinking it was safe to do so since she was an owner and I wasn't. As soon as I moved in, she went totally weird on me and stayed that way.

Previously, this girl had told me that whenever she rented out her spare room, she waited until her tenant was out and then she and a friend would do a "rummage". Yes, she actually would go into the tenant's room and rummage through all her things. So, we know that this girl is a low-calibre individual who stoops to such things.

The calls were never that late, always before midnight - because, perhaps, the person had to get up for an office job. And the person never said anything, was just silent. This also indicates to me that it was someone I knew. If they had spoken to threaten me, I would have recognised their voice. Also, if it was someone who was trying to scare a previous owner of the number, why would they keep calling me?

I also know for a fact that this girl developed a dislike of me because I found some emails she'd written about me, confirming my suspicions.

The timing - the fact that she went funny on me when I got that flat, and the calls started almost as soon as I moved in, and no one had that number except family, 4 lifelong friends and the office, and she had a problem with me anyway, and she is the spiteful sort who goes through the personal belongings of others...all the signs are pointing to the north. Of course, I can't accuse her as I have no proof, and it might not have been her anyway.

It's really bothering me this morning because of the doorbell issue and because I've only just realised, all these years later, who the most likely candidate really was. Never in a million years did I dream that one woman would potentially do that to another, which is why I never suspected her. I feel like - if it was her - she got away with it. I feel mad that I didn't immediately get a trace put on the line the first time it happened, and I feel that I was bullied - which makes me feel a fool, and as if I want to slap the culprit into the middle of next week, whoever it was.

Now, we have been in sporadic touch in the last few years, as all of us from that office are. I have no proof so I can't confront her, but I could easily email her, tell her I've put a few pieces together and simply ask if it was her. I have nothing to lose - she is not in my life anymore. I know she wouldn't admit it, but if it was her, I'd like her to know she's been rumbled, if a bit late in the day.

Oh - she also left that office under a cloud because she secretly set up a competing company, and the boss found out and went mad. So we know she's a bit of a lowlife.

So. Should I email her? Or should I let sleeping dogs lie? This is really bothering me today. I don't want to feel like a victim, but I do a bit, because the culprit was never made to feel sorry.

I hold on to one thing, if it was her: I never mentioned a word about it in the office. So, if it was someone in the office, they never got any satisfaction from upsetting me. The calls never bothered me that much because the building was so secure and I was high up (although she wouldn't know that, and she knew full well that I lived alone - I could have been on the ground floor for all she knew).

So. Shall I ask if it was her? Or shall I put it behind me, on the grounds that it was a long time ago?

There are more sophisticated ways, of course. I could always send her a chatty email, as we do occasionally, dropping in about my current doorbell issue and how crazy the city is. I could relate it back to when someone in our office was giving me threatening calls and I had a police trace put on the line so I knew who it was, but decided not to take action. If it wasn't her, she'd be all "Oh, who was it ? Do tell!" and if it WAS her....I probably wouldn't hear from her again, and she'd know she'd been found out.

 

[OreoRosies86]

It's been a decade... I think it's time to put this behind you.

 

[Smith1942]

Yes...but that is a very threatening thing to do to a woman living alone, and the person got away with it. That's what bothers me. If it was her, maybe she is still doing that sort of thing to others. Anyway, this all only came up last night because of the doorbell issue, and I've slept really badly last night because of these two things going round in my head, and waiting for the bell to ring.

Maybe I'll feel differently about it when I've had time to get some perspective.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Yes...but that is a very threatening thing to do to a woman living alone, and the person got away with it. That's what bothers me. Anyway, this all only came up last night because of the doorbell issue. Maybe I'll feel better about it when I've had time to get some perspective.

I am not diminishing what must have been a very unsettling experience. It's just that after so long it seems as this may open the door for potential problems. People mature, people change, sometimes our minds can wander into thinking the worst of people. I sympathize with how you feel, I get extremely panicky when people attempt to invade my life and personal space, I unplugged my house phone to keep strange calls away. For me the best course of action would be to make peace with what happened and release it. However we all need to seek closure in the ways we see fit.

 

[ame]

Let it go and have no contact with this person because you'll only invite her drama back in.

 

[movie zombie]

let it go.
you are in control your emotions, not her.
seek counseling if necessary.
she did not get away with anything......it did not ruffle you much per your own admission.
you could choose to have nothing further to do with her if you feel strongly about this.
at this point you are upset about a current situation which has brought up old memories.
you don't sound like you are close to her now.
you could just let the communications lapse entirely.
deal with the present situation in the present.

 

[House Cat]

Let it go.

The fact that you never brought it up probably disappointed her to no end. You never gave her the satisfaction she was seeking, she really wanted a reaction out of you!

If you bring it up now, you will give her exactly what she was looking for.

Really let it go. Even though she is not seeing that this is disrupting your life now, you are giving her the delayed reaction she wanted.



Lastly, a person who would do the things you described is lacking a normal level of conscience. Most likely, she will not feel remorse if you were to bring it up. She will only feel satisfaction that it got to you.

 

[TC1987]

If it's a secure place and there's no way that someone can break into it, just unplug or tape or cover up or remove batteries from the doorbell so you don't have to hear it, or the sound is very muffled. And then stop worrying about it. The fire department can break the doors down if they need to, lol.

Install a spy or security camera and call the police is what would happen here in the States, if the nuisance continued.

 

[Circe]

If it's a secure place and there's no way that someone can break into it, just unplug or tape or cover up or remove batteries from the doorbell so you don't have to hear it, or the sound is very muffled. And then stop worrying about it. The fire department can break the doors down if they need to, lol.

Install a spy or security camera and call the police is what would happen here in the States, if the nuisance continued.

This is exactly what I was going to suggest. You say it frequently happens two nights in a row? Great, then you know exactly when to mount the camera! They sell tiny cheapie ones these days ... better to know for sure before borrowing trouble from somebody strange who might not be the culprit this time, but who'll probably get weirder if you remind her of her animus towards you ....

 

[Smith1942]

The two situations -the crank calls and the doorbell rings - occurred 10 years apart on separate continents. I now live in the US. The crank call thing is bothering me now because the bell issue, which is current, happened again yesterday and it made me think of the crank calls, which made my husband and I discuss the calls again and he had this stunning insight into who was responsible for them, all those years ago, and his insight really added up. I know, it was a really long post to read!

I am shocked because never did I dream that a woman could think of doing that to another woman. It literally never occurred to me.

Anyway, thank you so much to EVERYONE who read and responded! I do feel a bit better now, having been out and come back.

While I was out, I decided exactly what HouseCat said - that it would give her satisfaction, not embarrassment, to know that I've cottoned on. I agree that if it was her, it must have driven her crazy that I did not react at all. As far as she knows, I never suspected her or had a moment's fear, so it must have been quite a boring venture for her and she gained absolutely nothing.

I also have the satisfaction of knowing that I am a better person than her because it would never, in my wildest dreams, occur to me to try to frighten a female living alone like that, or rummage through my tenant's things - those sorts of behaviours are not my way, in any shape or form.

I still believe she did get away with something, because that behaviour is actually criminal - menacing someone like that - and although I wasn't too bothered because I lived high up in a secure block, she wasn't to know that. If I lived on the ground floor or somewhere less secure, I'd have been totally freaked. But HouseCat and everyone else is completely right - I won't give her the satisfaction.

About the bell issue, it only happens infrequently and we do live in the middle of the city. There is a homeless woman round here who refuses to go to a shelter and is very mentally ill. Once, a neighbour on my floor let her into our building to shelter in the basement, and she went nuts at him. Recently, I saw her outside the building going to the loo between two cars. I wonder if she sometimes rings a bell on our floor (ie mine) because in her poor confused mind, someone on our floor in this building let her in once before. The other possibility is a resident on the floor below. He's really young, his dad owns the flat and he made a ton of noise one summer for which I reported him to the management company. He was fined and his dad informed. It's possible that he goes out at 6am sometimes and very occasionally rings the bell to have a bit of a jibe. I'd love to install a security camera but since it's a block of flats, I think that would be hard to do.

 

[lovebug1031]

Yes...but that is a very threatening thing to do to a woman living alone, and the person got away with it. That's what bothers me. Anyway, this all only came up last night because of the doorbell issue. Maybe I'll feel better about it when I've had time to get some perspective.

I am not diminishing what must have been a very unsettling experience. It's just that after so long it seems as this may open the door for potential problems. People mature, people change, sometimes our minds can wander into thinking the worst of people. I sympathize with how you feel, I get extremely panicky when people attempt to invade my life and personal space, I unplugged my house phone to keep strange calls away. For me the best course of action would be to make peace with what happened and release it. However we all need to seek closure in the ways we see fit.

agreed, and in the off chance she HASN'T changed in that time - but yes I think it could open the door for her to start something similar again. I wouldn't give her even an inch to let her back into your life, in ANY capacity.

 

[Smith1942]

Well, we live on separate continents now so it would be hard for her to start anything, but I get your point. And anyway, I've decided not to give her the satisfaction. I've come to my senses and realised that I rather like the fact that she got zero reaction from me (if it was her, and same goes if it was anyone else in the office).

ETA: I'm also pleased that I happened to know the official advice for dealing with these calls, and I put it into practice. That is, you're supposed to say absolutely nothing, but place the receiver down carefully (not hang up, just place it down on a chair or whatever) and walk away from it. That way, the caller can't hear your breathing, they don't get satisfaction from having you slam the phone down, or from you getting verbally upset - basically, the line is completely silent, which is demotivating for them. I never said one single thing apart from the initial "Hello?" I never said, "Who is this?" or anything else at all. The caller usually hung up first, I believe. A couple of times it rang at the usual late time when I was in bed, and I certainly didn't bother getting up to answer it. So whoever it was really got absolutely nothing out of it, for their trouble.

A friend of mine has a kind of stalker on LinkedIn - a stranger - and she engages with him, which I just can't understand. Why would you do that???

 

[LaraOnline]

Hi Smith, I am typing this on my phone so please forgive typos.
I am sorry this stuff is coming up for you now. Sometimes it's great to vent, to give you a sense of closure...
Although, if you are still in sporadic touch with this woman, I see no harm in gently rattling her chain lol, when or if she nextel contacts you. But frankly she seems just awful so perhaps just block her and be done!

When it comes to your current bell ringer, next time it happens just give thanks that they are helping you clear out some old cwap.
Likely this new bell ringer is someone who wishes to get door access to someone else in the building. Ignore them, of course!!

 

[Smith1942]

We were last in touch in April this year when she gave me the news that our former colleague from that office had taken her own life. So no, we are not in touch very much. Does that office sound a bit crazy? You have no idea. The boss shagged our cuttings lady and his wife tried to kill herself. Didn't succeed, thankfully. Between the suicide attempts and the crank calls and the weirdo who wouldn't talk to me for two years (even when we had to work together) because he lurrved me...they were all off their rockers.

I am OK now and happy to let sleeping dogs lie, safe in the knowledge that she never got a single reaction from me. I just slept badly last night as it was about midnight when my husband had his revelation about her, and it all fell into place - all the signs I described above. Mainly, I am absolutely shocked that the signs point to a woman doing this to another woman. Of the people I thought it could be, never, ever, ever did I dream that those calls could possibly be from another woman. Spooky silent calls late at night - you just naturally imagine them to be sexually motivated and from a male.

Not once did I dream that female bitchiness could take this form. I'm quite shocked that I even know a woman who could do this. It's worse in a way, coming from a woman. She knew I lived alone, and as a female herself she would have known how calls like that could potentially scare a woman on her own. I mean, they didn't scare me due to the quality and security of the flat, but she wasn't to know that about my block. Her intent was so nasty I can barely believe it. I mean, I knew she was a low-calibre individual due to other things she'd done that I described, but I didn't realise that she was verging on the slightly criminal!

I know I have no proof, but as described above (I won't repeat) the signs are pretty damning.

Once, when I was dating my now-husband, he sent flowers to the office once, possibly twice. It made her burst out in a rage "You've got a rich boyfriend who spoils you ROTTEN!" It's not as if he was sending Tiffany boxes. I mean, she seemed to get to the stage where just my presence and my life seemed to make her spit fire. Pretty funny, really.

 

[LaraOnline]

Was this in Britain? Seems like the crazy sort of stuff that happens over there.
The bad weather - or is it the dense population - seems to make for a higher percentage of socially disconnected, slightly nasty people.

Oops, hope I do 't get pinged for saying that! But oh well that was my experience of the place.

 

[Polished]

I'm glad you got resolution to this puzzle and I'm glad you've decided on taking no action. The danger with people, with her kind of track record, is that they think in terms of reprisals. I wouldn't trust it. Revenge and justice has to be more sutble in these sorts of cases and this happened, a long time ago, by way of flowers arriving to your office. I'm also really impressed by your husband!

 

[LaraOnline]

Yep you are right Polished. At the end of the day she was stuck with herself wasn't she *shudder*

 

[arkieb1]

Let the crank calls go, contacting her about anti-social behaviour a decade later is going to achieve nothing - she is hardly going to admit to being a weirdo. You need to address your current problem and I am with the others - install a security camera and film the person ringing your doorbell. Either put a really noticeable camera there so they know you are filming them in order to deter them, or take the opposite approach and get a tiny camera and film them when they don't know about it. Then you are free to post a pic of them on social media and say thank you to the person that keeps ringing my doorbell if you keep doing it I now have your picture and will be giving it to the police. Alternatively skip the social media part and just give it to the police.

 

[JewelFreak]

If it really was she doing the calling, Smith, finding out that you know would not stop her from doing it to someone else. If that's her way of expressing hostility, she won't stop because somebody across the pond figured her out. It would give her a ton of satisfaction to realize you were bothered enough to be thinking about it for 10 years. So, good decision not to mention it. If it were me, I'd just go away & have no more contact. She sounds very unhappy & a sad person in all meanings of the word.

The doorbell, as you suggest, is probably not meant for you specifically. It happens seldom -- & very annoying -- but not frightening. Whoever it is might be ringing others in your building too, trying to get somebody to open the door.

I had a scary caller who said when I answered the phone: "I'm gonna RAPE youuuuuu!" I lived alone in an unsecure building in the burbs where there was very little crime. This was a long time ago -- caller ID wasn't available; I don't know why I didn't go to the police, guess too young & dumb. It sounded like a teenager or guy in his 20s. I left the phone -- came back 30 min. later & the jackass was still there! Blew a whistle into the phone, all the stuff they recommend. It only gave him a thrill. It went on for a few months & only stopped when I left on a 2-wk business trip & he must've gotten bored when I didn't answer. Never any weirdo hanging around the building, no physical scares, but it was unnerving. I had a feeling it was a young kid with a twisted sense of fun. I know how that stuff can upset you, though. Glad it's over & you can put it back in the past, yuck!

--- Laurie

 

[Smith1942]

Thanks everyone.

Jewelfreak - Jesus, that sounds seriously frightening! You must have been beside yourself, if the block wasn't very secure.

Polished - if I were going to contact her, reprisals wouldn't worry me. That's letting someone intimidate you. But anyway, it's not relevant since she lives in the UK and I live in America - not sure what she could do to me from that distance. I have strong connections with the UK CID and the UK media, (the relevance of this is that if she ever tried anything illegal with me again, not only would she be prosecuted, her conviction would end up in the UK's most famous newspaper) so a spiteful little bint like her isn't going to worry me. The reason I've decided not to contact her is in order not to give her the satisfaction. I mean, if this was a current situation, I'd prosecute the pants off her, but it isn't.

Arkie - about cameras, you are right but I have no idea how I'd go about that. This is a block of flats and we are high up - I mean, somehow I'd have to rig up an entire electrical system from the front door all the way up to my flat, and I just don't have the skills to do it.

Lara - you're right, she's the one who is stuck with herself and her black heart. It would never in my wildest dream occur to me to do that to someone. She must be such an unhappy person. And you're right about the UK - you and I had the same experiences. It's my experience that people in the US are so much more laid-back and relaxed and happy for you when something goes right. England is famously full of petty jealousy. If you want to make a certain kind of English person spit green fire, just do really, really well. When I achieved the grades for Oxford entrance in my A-Levels, (UK university entrance exams) we went to tea at my aunt and uncle's house that day. They knew about my results, and it was studiously not mentioned, by them or my cousins, except the oldest one who whispered congratulations to me on the side. A-Levels are national government-set exams and everyone in the country gets their results on the same day - it's a big thing, it's all in the papers - they knew it was Results Day. It was really weird, the way it simply wasn't brought up. That evening at home, my dad said to me, "If you do well in life, little green eyes will follow you wherever you go." In my experience, that is particularly true in the UK. There's that old story about a person who has a red sports car. The American looks at it and says, "Wow, I wonder what I can do to get a car like that!" whereas the English person scrapes their keys along it.

Of course, England has many wonderful people too - we are generalising. But I encountered much more nastiness in the UK. It seems more socially acceptable over there. I've noticed that in the US, society strongly approves of a supportive attitude towards others.

 

[LaraOnline]

Lara - you're right, she's the one who is stuck with herself and her black heart. It would never in my wildest dream occur to me to do that to someone. She must be such an unhappy person. And you're right about the UK - you and I had the same experiences. It's my experience that people in the US are so much more laid-back and relaxed and happy for you when something goes right. England is famously full of petty jealousy. If you want to make a certain kind of English person spit green fire, just do really, really well. When I achieved the grades for Oxford entrance in my A-Levels, (UK university entrance exams) we went to tea at my aunt and uncle's house that day. They knew about my results, and it was studiously not mentioned, by them or my cousins, except the oldest one who whispered congratulations to me on the side. A-Levels are national government-set exams and everyone in the country gets their results on the same day - it's a big thing, it's all in the papers - they knew it was Results Day. It was really weird, the way it simply wasn't brought up. That evening at home, my dad said to me, "If you do well in life, little green eyes will follow you wherever you go." In my experience, that is particularly true in the UK. There's that old story about a person who has a red sports car. The American looks at it and says, "Wow, I wonder what I can do to get a car like that!" whereas the English person scrapes their keys along it.

Of course, England has many wonderful people too - we are generalising. But I encountered much more nastiness in the UK. It seems more socially acceptable over there. I've noticed that in the US, society strongly approves of a supportive attitude towards others.

Oh thank goodness you're not mad at me for saying that! Of course, England has given the world so many wonderful things - the idealism of the English has set a strong tone for modern civilisation.

But yes, at an ordinary everyday inter-personal level, there seems a schadenfreude, a pleasure even just a giggle at the expense of others that I have not seen elsewhere. I think it's the weather?!!

We in Australia have inherited PLENTY of that British tall-poppy cutting, but less of the nastiness.
Why, just today my husband was telling me about a story in the sport section where Greg Norman (a famous Australian golfer) left Australia for the US because he was sick of his fancy cars being keyed!!!
Well that is does seem rather nasty, doesn't it? Perhaps it is, lol. But the miscreant might be likely to wave at you and smile, rather than sneer and stick up a finger. It's only when you get home you realise what the bugger's done. The joke's on you.
No-one likes a big head in this country.

 

[Smith1942]

Lara, I have mainly observed the behaviour we've been discussing in younger people, by which I mean any generation below my parents' age. My parents' generation seems much nicer. England has changed a LOT in the last forty years.

 

[JewelFreak]

On the mark, Smith. I agree -- England used to be one of the most polite places on earth, no matter what people said about you when they got home. Geeze, I blew my stack at a Liberty's clerk who had promised to order something & didn't -- twice. I lost patience & scolded him for a few minutes. His only response: "Quite." That was 30 yrs ago -- would never happen now. That's just a silly example, but the atmosphere has changed greatly. Sad.

Seems like the snarky attitude of the tabs has spread through the general population.

--- Laurie

 

[Smith1942]

JF, that's a perfect example of how England used to be. My parents and their friends are still like that.

 

[Polished]

My Uncles in the UK were like this too. Although you only have to glimpse at some of the feedback to articles on sites such as the Daily Mail to see some of the spite and jealousy at work.

You're right about not being intimidated by this woman. Your descriptions of what transpired though, with the intensity of feeling towards you and the serious stalking behaviour made me ponder how such extreme situations are best dealt with. Not giving ammunition and exctricating from the situation if possible seem to be key. The intense link, which was all from her end is gone but it seems to me that power lies in not re-igniting it in any way.

 

[Smith1942]

You're completely right, Polished. And I am going to put it behind me xxxx I got some great advice here, as always. Sometimes I wonder if there is a correlation between diamond ownership and intelligence/wisdom, if PS is anything to go by!

 

[LaraOnline]

I hope we have helped you work through this, Smith.

Regarding your evaluation of current culture and that of say 40 years ago, that is an interesting thought.
My natural instinct is to say that people are always the same, but living circumstances improve across all levels of society, and this should lead to better wellbeing (and social cohesion) in general. So it worries me that you mention a deterioration.

I'm sticking to the theory that it's all about the weather and general lack of sunlight over a year. Perhaps it makes for a more intense type of experience - friendlier and jollier experiences - the British can be ever so nice! - and maybe grimmer ones as well.

 

[Smith1942]

Everyone has helped, enormously, Lara.

I'd like to thank everyone who responded to the thread.

I honestly don't know what it is re. the traits we have been discussing, Lara. Generally speaking, people in the North tend to be much friendlier so perhaps it's a London thing. People who are naturally more competitive move there - it makes sense. And the weather has always been bad! Partly, I think it's because everyday life in the crowded London/Southeast can really be a grind, between the overcrowding, the lack of financial freedom due to high taxes, high commute costs, sky-high property costs in the South, and under-investment in the infrastructure which means a lot of broken trains and broken ticket machines, and long queues. It all adds up to a lot of fraught days just trying to go about your business. Seriously, at some stations I've had to add an extra forty minutes just to buy a ticket. Together with the weather, it doesn't exactly put you in a great mood. In the US, even living in central Boston, daily life is so much easier.

 

[iLander]

We had mysterious phone calls, late at night at our house. No one talking, just an empty phone line. Not all the time, just very sporadically. I think it was the late 90's.

It took years to figure out. Luckily, we finally got caller ID and traced it back.

It was a fax machine in Israel!

In those days, the faxes were set up to do what's called "polling" and they'd automatically call faxes on their roster of numbers to retrieve documents. Usually late at night when the long distance rates were lower. The answering fax was supposed to start the fax tone, but since we weren't a fax, we never heard a fax tone back.

We have no idea how they got our number, but I think it was an input error somewhere.

Is there a possibility you were being polled, all those years ago?

 

[Smith1942]

We had mysterious phone calls, late at night at our house. No one talking, just an empty phone line. Not all the time, just very sporadically. I think it was the late 90's.

It took years to figure out. Luckily, we finally got caller ID and traced it back.

It was a fax machine in Israel!

In those days, the faxes were set up to do what's called "polling" and they'd automatically call faxes on their roster of numbers to retrieve documents. Usually late at night when the long distance rates were lower. The answering fax was supposed to start the fax tone, but since we weren't a fax, we never heard a fax tone back.

We have no idea how they got our number, but I think it was an input error somewhere.

Is there a possibility you were being polled, all those years ago?

I don't think so, because the calls always came reliably between 11pm and midnight; because they started barely a week after I moved into the flat and put the number on the office chart (so not much time for the number to be picked up by a corporation); because the same girl who went really funny on me at the time I got my luxury flat was the same person who I later found out had been writing hateful emails about me to others; because she did lowlife things to other people like rummage through her tenant's room and set up a secret company competing with ours; because she was very jealous of me, like the flowers incident, because the person calling had dialled 141 before dialling my number to deliberately withhold their own number; and because the person always hung up after not that long.

Re. the emails, that's what I meant when I said in a post above that other things were falling into place. As I said, all signs point to the north.

ETA: If it was her, or someone else in the office - they are really the only ones who had that number apart from my parents and less than 5 lifelong friends - it's quite shocking to think that someone could hate me enough to want to terrify me alone in my flat late at night, when I had done nothing to them but be friendly. That's a bit depressing.