Cat People - I really need some avice!

[Matata]

One more resource for those who are at the end of their ropes with their cat's misbehavior -- Marilyn Krieger, the cat coach http://thecatcoach.com She does phone consults, has helped a huge number of people who have had cats with behavior issues.

 

[VRBeauty]

Cats peeing someplace other than litter box is not the norm, in my experience.

That's my observation too... especially peeing. My friend's cat that did this was 1) very old, 2) somewhat neglected, as far as attention was concerned, and 3) possibly in a power struggle with the family dog. I personally think a trip to the vet would have cleared it up, but my friend wouldn't do that.

Every cat I've had has used litter boxes appropriately. I did have territorial problems on occasion but they were quickly addressed with a bag of Dr. Elsey's "Cat Attract" litter and/or adding a litter box when there was more than one cat. (One of my cats once managed to somehow lay a turd on the very edge of the rim of the litter box. I took the hint and invested in a second box. ) Spraying is a whole separate issue, but it's a territorial issue and can be lessened or eliminated - and I've known many male cats that didn't spray at all.

I don't want to give non-owners or prospective cat owners the impression that having cats means that you have to live with odors and unsanitary conditions, or that you have to plan your decor and furniture around your cat. That simply isn't the case. That's not to say that cats are trouble-free. You have to be willing to clip claws and brush cats and invest in cat toys, scratching posts, etc. You have to be willing to be consistent in correcting their behavior if you don't want them to jump up on tables, counters, etc. With some cats you have to take the time to build trust with them to deal with problems. And sometimes you have to read the signals and allow a cat to be an "only" if that's what she needs - as is the case with my Maya. And you do have to make allowances... I wouldn't consider loosely-woven gauze drapes while I own a cat, for example, and I'm careful not to choose heavily textured fabrics for my upholstered furniture. One or two pieces of furniture do show some minimal cat wear and tear but that's a trade-off I'm willing to put up with for the pleasure of having a cat.

 

[CJ2008]

I've had 3 cats in my life (2 living now, 1 passed) - I've never had any of them pee anywhere they were not supposed to.

I didn't realize it was so common for cats to spray / pee outside the litter box.

I think it's more of an issue with male cats. I have two female cats, and they both use the litter box without issues.

That said, I will not own any pets ever again after these two pass away. I love them, but they are too much work and they have destroyed things with their claws.

2 males (including the 1 that passed) - never had any issues...although I had 2 males together for only about 1 year...and my resident cat was very senior and was going senile and blind and so I went out of my to protect him and keep them separate, and not sharing anything including litter boxes, since the new cat would try to bully him. So I never had the chance to experience full-blown territorial issues in that sense (although I guess they could each still have sprayed or peed outside their own boxes anyway).

Cats peeing someplace other than litter box is not the norm, in my experience.

That's my observation too... especially peeing. My friend's cat that did this was 1) very old, 2) somewhat neglected, as far as attention was concerned, and 3) possibly in a power struggle with the family dog. I personally think a trip to the vet would have cleared it up, but my friend wouldn't do that.

Every cat I've had has used litter boxes appropriately. I did have territorial problems on occasion but they were quickly addressed with a bag of Dr. Elsey's "Cat Attract" litter and/or adding a litter box when there was more than one cat. (One of my cats once managed to somehow lay a turd on the very edge of the rim of the litter box. I took the hint and invested in a second box. ) Spraying is a whole separate issue, but it's a territorial issue and can be lessened or eliminated - and I've known many male cats that didn't spray at all.

I don't want to give non-owners or prospective cat owners the impression that having cats means that you have to live with odors and unsanitary conditions, or that you have to plan your decor and furniture around your cat. That simply isn't the case. That's not to say that cats are trouble-free. You have to be willing to clip claws and brush cats and invest in cat toys, scratching posts, etc. You have to be willing to be consistent in correcting their behavior if you don't want them to jump up on tables, counters, etc. With some cats you have to take the time to build trust with them to deal with problems. And sometimes you have to read the signals and allow a cat to be an "only" if that's what she needs - as is the case with my Maya. And you do have to make allowances... I wouldn't consider loosely-woven gauze drapes while I own a cat, for example, and I'm careful not to choose heavily textured fabrics for my upholstered furniture. One or two pieces of furniture do show some minimal cat wear and tear but that's a trade-off I'm willing to put up with for the pleasure of having a cat.

VRBeauty I agree with everything you said.

 

[Gypsy]

I agree VR.

We're pretty sure Jack was abused before we got him. He has a lot of behaviors that are red flags for it. And so we're patient with him.

I wonder if putting the Thundershirt on him in the evenings would help. Interesting idea. And I could use it for Duncan's trips to the vet too.

 

[NOYFB]

How often are you scooping the litter box? Have you tried using different kitty litter? Not all cats like the same type of litter and some cats require a PRISTINE box. You should experiment with different types of litters to see if that solves the issue. I don't think cats urinate outside of the box just to be *******s. At least that's never been my experience.

During the last year or so of EQ's life we noticed that there was often urine just outside of the box, on the wall and down to the floor. What we discovered was that she had pretty bad arthritis and the pain in her hips prevented her from squatting to urinate, so she'd do so standing up. She was still IN the box, trying to do the right thing, but unfortunately her urine stream went out instead of down. Our box is in an alcove in our laundry closet, and the box is just a few inches smaller than the space, so we solved the issue by taping puppy training pads all around the box on the wall, and on the floor to capture it. If it's a health issue (I didn't see where you've taken the cat to the vet yet to determine a medical reason for the urination), there are things that can be done to accommodate the cat and make things easier for you.

 

[Gypsy]

I don't think cats urinate outside of the box just to be *******s. At least that's never been my experience.

Agree with all of it, but especially this.

 

[CJ2008]

I don't think cats urinate outside of the box just to be *******s. At least that's never been my experience.

Agree with all of it, but especially this.

Yes, yes, yes.

It drives me mad when people say their animals do things to be spiteful. Not in the way we think. They express themselves the only way they know how. Simple as that.

 

[Gypsy]

I don't think cats urinate outside of the box just to be *******s. At least that's never been my experience.

Agree with all of it, but especially this.

Yes, yes, yes.

It drives me mad when people say their animals do things to be spiteful. Not in the way we think. They express themselves the only way they know how. Simple as that.

Even when they pee on your suitcase. It's them saying... please, don't go.

 

[packrat]

We had to switch out regular litter boxes for these long/tall Rubbermaid containers b/c Opilio is a stand up pee-er..even w/those she comes awful close to the edge but it works. Luckily she's full grown and pretty little. And they work now b/c they don't have health problems. When Bella was alive it wouldn't have worked for her b/c she was um...hefty. We'll have to rig up stairs in/out or something.

 

[momhappy]

I don't think cats urinate outside of the box just to be *******s. At least that's never been my experience.

Agree with all of it, but especially this.

Yes, yes, yes.

It drives me mad when people say their animals do things to be spiteful. Not in the way we think. They express themselves the only way they know how. Simple as that.

I guess that I don't see any part of it as "simple" - simple for the cats maybe, but certainly not for their owners. From what I gather from this thread, cats pee for any number of reasons and some of which make sense, while others don't. It's way too complicated for me, which is why I open my back door, my dog goes out and does his business in the side yard, and then comes back in. Now that's simple

 

[CJ2008]

I don't think cats urinate outside of the box just to be *******s. At least that's never been my experience.

Agree with all of it, but especially this.

Yes, yes, yes.

It drives me mad when people say their animals do things to be spiteful. Not in the way we think. They express themselves the only way they know how. Simple as that.

I guess that I don't see any part of it as "simple" - simple for the cats maybe, but certainly not for their owners. From what I gather from this thread, cats pee for any number of reasons and some of which make sense, while others don't. It's way too complicated for me, which is why I open my back door, my dog goes out and does his business in the side yard, and then comes back in. Now that's simple

Not simple in that sense. Nothing to do with the owners or what's simple for the owners...

ETA: and yes...I do believe that owning dogs is simpler than owning cats...

 

[Gypsy]

I'm a cat. Not just a cat person. But if you asked my husband what my personality is most like... it's a cat. I totally "get" my little furballs.

With very few exceptions dogs are way too needy for me. And I've owned two. The constant adoration, being a dog's sun, moon and stars... it gets on my nerves. I like that cats are little independent weirdos with odd quirks. You can rub this one's belly. But you can't rub that one's belly. You can pick this one up and he'll hug you with his paws around your neck. But if you pick that one up, she'll put her paw on your nose as a way to tell you she wants to be put down. I like that one day one will love this treat and the next he'll mime burying it like it's sh*t. I find it all entertaining and I know how to flow with it.

Dog's are individuals too, but not the same way cats are at least to me. And they need SO MUCH care and attention and walking and petting and this... and that... and the way they stare at you. With all the love in their cute little bodies. It kinda creeps me out.

It's all relative. I find being a cat owner MUCH more peaceful and MUCH less work than being a dog owner.

Different strokes.
And that's fine.

Which is why you should do your research and be honest with yourself about what is right for you BEFORE you get any pet. And not having pets is fine too.

But when you are already a pet owner... and the pet is bonded to you and your household... to me, you don't get to change your mind unless it is the best interest of the pet.

 

[Gypsy]

Oh, and if I'm to be honest... my Hally (the one in my AV) could be seen as an ******* sometimes (never about peeing or anything) about things. Which is why this sign makes me giggle every time I see it. But the fact is... she only does it when her water bowl is empty. It's her way of telling me "If I don't get water, you don't get water." It's funny.

And my Jack, when he pees. He's not being an *******. He's trying to tell me something. I just haven't figured out what yet. And that doesn't make me mad. It just makes me sad.

 

[CJ2008]

I'm a cat. Not just a cat person. But if you asked my husband what my personality is most like... it's a cat. I totally "get" my little furballs.

With very few exceptions dogs are way too needy for me. And I've owned two. The constant adoration, being a dog's sun, moon and stars... it gets on my nerves. I like that cats are little independent weirdos with odd quirks. You can rub this one's belly. But you can't rub that one's belly. You can pick this one up and he'll hug you with his paws around your neck. But if you pick that one up, she'll put her paw on your nose as a way to tell you she wants to be put down. I like that one day one will love this treat and the next he'll mime burying it like it's sh*t. I find it all entertaining and I know how to flow with it.

Dog's are individuals too, but not the same way cats are at least to me. And they need SO MUCH care and attention and walking and petting and this... and that... and the way they stare at you. With all the love in their cute little bodies. It kinda creeps me out.

It's all relative. I find being a cat owner MUCH more peaceful and MUCH less work than being a dog owner.

Different strokes.
And that's fine.

Which is why you should do your research and be honest with yourself about what is right for you BEFORE you get any pet. And not having pets is fine too.

But when you are already a pet owner... and the pet is bonded to you and your household... to me, you don't get to change your mind unless it is the best interest of the pet.

I'm pretty much the same as you.

I "get" my little furballs too. And when I don't, I research, and try to understand. And try different things.

It's amazing to me the time and patience I have for them.

My personality is much closer to a cat's than it would be to a dog. Even though I love dogs too. I love all animals.

I find cats more complex, and like you, I enjoy that about them.

And I know what you mean by this: "But when you are already a pet owner... and the pet is bonded to you and your household... to me, you don't get to change your mind unless it is the best interest of the pet."

But Gypsy, the thing is, sometimes someone realizes midway or after or whenever that they no longer feel the same way about the cat. Or they don't want to deal with x or y. Maybe they went into it all in, but then later realized they're not willing to do what it takes. In those times regardless of whether it's fair or not, or the ideal thing...it IS in the best interest of the pet to be rehomed. Rather than ignored, or viewed as a nuisance. As long as the person does whatever is humanly possible - and I'm talking anything and everything that could possibly need to be done and more - to ensure a new safe, loving, and permanent home.

But then, yes...they should not either have any more pets at all, or any more of those types of pets (in this case, cats).

ETA: hehehe re the poster (and I have to say, that someone like you saying your cat's being an ass--- is not the same thing as someone who doesn't like their cat or is annoyed by it or thinks it's a nuisance. You know what I mean.)

 

[Gypsy]

I do know what you mean. I call Hally a demon from the lower pits of hell at times. I still love her.

And I agree, if the animal is being ignored or mistreated or is looked on and treated as a nuisance... then it might be in the best interest of the animal to re-home it responsibly. But first, especially in a case like this I think that you should take the animal to the vet and make sure it is in good health and accept responsibility for the animal. Because it's not fair to the new home or the animal if you unload a sick animal on them. The animal is your responsibility. You still have to take reasonable care of it, and you need to be honest with the new owner. And if the cat is sick, you may not be able to rehome it. You might need to take care of it until it is better. Again, the pet is your responsibility.

And I'm sorry, but if you have enough money to spend a years salary on flooring, you should be able to afford some vet bills for the animals in your home already, that are your responsibility.

 

[CJ2008]

I do know what you mean. I call Hally a demon from the lower pits of hell at times. I still love her.

And I agree, if the animal is being ignored or mistreated or is looked on and treated as a nuisance... then it might be in the best interest of the animal to re-home it responsibly. But first, especially in a case like this I think that you should take the animal to the vet and make sure it is in good health and accept responsibility for the animal. Because it's not fair to the new home or the animal if you unload a sick animal on them. The animal is your responsibility. You still have to take reasonable care of it, and you need to be honest with the new owner. And if the cat is sick, you may not be able to rehome it. You might need to take care of it until it is better. Again, the pet is your responsibility.

And I'm sorry, but if you have enough money to spend a years salary on flooring, you should be able to afford some vet bills for the animals in your home already, that are your responsibility.

10000% with you.

 

[TC1987]

Even when they pee on your suitcase. It's them saying... please, don't go.

Unless you are the house guest who stayed too long. Then it might be "gtho." I shouldn't say this, but my sister's MIL stayed with them a bit "too long" when they had the first grandbaby. They were thinking of asking her to go back home. Then their cat abruptly peed on her suitcase and pooped in her shoes. That acted like a big prybar. So, yeah, cats are more than bright enough to be *******s. But intelligence and independence are part of the reason that I enjoy them so much. hehe

 

[NOYFB]

And I agree, if the animal is being ignored or mistreated or is looked on and treated as a nuisance... then it might be in the best interest of the animal to re-home it responsibly. But first, especially in a case like this I think that you should take the animal to the vet and make sure it is in good health and accept responsibility for the animal. Because it's not fair to the new home or the animal if you unload a sick animal on them. The animal is your responsibility. You still have to take reasonable care of it, and you need to be honest with the new owner. And if the cat is sick, you may not be able to rehome it. You might need to take care of it until it is better. Again, the pet is your responsibility.

And I'm sorry, but if you have enough money to spend a years salary on flooring, you should be able to afford some vet bills for the animals in your home already, that are your responsibility.

Once again, I agree with everything Gypsy has said.

 

[NOYFB]

Oh, and if I'm to be honest... my Hally (the one in my AV) could be seen as an ******* sometimes (never about peeing or anything) about things. Which is why this sign makes me giggle every time I see it. But the fact is... she only does it when her water bowl is empty. It's her way of telling me "If I don't get water, you don't get water." It's funny.

And my Jack, when he pees. He's not being an *******. He's trying to tell me something. I just haven't figured out what yet. And that doesn't make me mad. It just makes me sad.

Ha ha! Tinkie won't just knock your glass over. She'll stick her head in it and drink out of it first. We even gave her her own water glass because she seemed to prefer it over the stainless steel bowl. She knocked it over. We gave her another one. She knocked it over. After a while we realized that she was trying to move it and was sometimes successful in doing so (before knocking it over), because she didn't like where we kept it. We finally figured out where she wants her water, which is kind of in the middle of the doorway, so we just leave it there now. People are baffled when they come over and see this water dish out in the middle of the floor, but it works for her, so we accommodate her. On the plus side, we're no longer cleaning up giant puddles of water every day

 

[kgizo]

I had a cat who had accidents and it was due to bladder stones. It was very difficult to diagnose so you may want to ask your vet about that. I also had a dog to develop bladder cancer and would have accidents so no living creature is immune. It's good that you are getting this checked in case you do rehome them. You and the potential adopters need to fully understand if it's a behavioral or physical issue.

I've seen some mentions of doing the luxury vinyl tile, and it is a fabulous product. I used the brand Allure from Home Depot that you can install yourself. We did this in two guest bedrooms and put all the toys and animal paraphernalia in there so that's where they spent most of their time. It was super easy to clean up. I've also done a glue down professionally installed version and it's very easy to clean up and doesn't hold any smells either. We have tile which is great, but grout is porous. The grout can get stained and hold some smells even if it is sealed. I have heard this about concrete floors as well, even if they are stained and finished. We have wood floors too, and we're really careful about doing an inventory a couple of times a day and cleaning up the messes promptly. The floors have a dark stain so they don't show the accidents, the only tell is the polyurethane finish is not as shiny in those spots. We can tell because we know where to look, but others have said they can't see it. For our dog we installed a dog door and it was a big help. With the bladder cancer she didn't have much notice when she needed to go, so to be able to get out on her own made her and us much happier.

I have also had a fridge leak and a dishwasher leak cause damage to my floors. Whenever buying floors you need to think about your tolerance for maintenance and repair issues.

 

[CJ2008]

Oh, and if I'm to be honest... my Hally (the one in my AV) could be seen as an ******* sometimes (never about peeing or anything) about things. Which is why this sign makes me giggle every time I see it. But the fact is... she only does it when her water bowl is empty. It's her way of telling me "If I don't get water, you don't get water." It's funny.

And my Jack, when he pees. He's not being an *******. He's trying to tell me something. I just haven't figured out what yet. And that doesn't make me mad. It just makes me sad.

Ha ha! Tinkie won't just knock your glass over. She'll stick her head in it and drink out of it first. We even gave her her own water glass because she seemed to prefer it over the stainless steel bowl. She knocked it over. We gave her another one. She knocked it over. After a while we realized that she was trying to move it and was sometimes successful in doing so (before knocking it over), because she didn't like where we kept it. We finally figured out where she wants her water, which is kind of in the middle of the doorway, so we just leave it there now. People are baffled when they come over and see this water dish out in the middle of the floor, but it works for her, so we accommodate her. On the plus side, we're no longer cleaning up giant puddles of water every day

That is so cute.

 

[siamese3]

CJ.. I've read through this thread and people have offered lots of great advice. I think having your cat evaluated at the vet is a first step to eliminate any health issues. Investigating feliway, thunder shirts, cat boredom, litterbox issues etc. are all great ideas, avenues to explore. I have a cat who is on Prozac and it has been a life saver for all of us in the house. It was a last resort after over a year of unexplainable weird ibd-ish illness and behavior in my 10 year old cat. It was nothing I did lightly and the first 30 days were hard for me but side effects were minimal after that, and my cat is much calmer and happier now. So am I. So is DH and other cat. Again..it was definitely a last resort, but I wish we had figured it out sooner. It is all such a long story and it feels overwhelming to recount. I wish you the best of luck with this.

 

[CJ2008]

CJ.. I've read through this thread and people have offered lots of great advice. I think having your cat evaluated at the vet is a first step to eliminate any health issues. Investigating feliway, thunder shirts, cat boredom, litterbox issues etc. are all great ideas, avenues to explore. I have a cat who is on Prozac and it has been a life saver for all of us in the house. It was a last resort after over a year of unexplainable weird ibd-ish illness and behavior in my 10 year old cat. It was nothing I did lightly and the first 30 days were hard for me but side effects were minimal after that, and my cat is much calmer and happier now. So am I. So is DH and other cat. Again..it was definitely a last resort, but I wish we had figured it out sooner. It is all such a long story and it feels overwhelming to recount. I wish you the best of luck with this.

Hi and thank you siamese3.

But I am not the OP.



That's one way to know you've been way overinvolved in a thread that's not yours!

 

[siamese3]

Opps! Thanks for correcting me CJ.. It should have started out 04diamond..

 

[Gypsy]

Oh, and if I'm to be honest... my Hally (the one in my AV) could be seen as an ******* sometimes (never about peeing or anything) about things. Which is why this sign makes me giggle every time I see it. But the fact is... she only does it when her water bowl is empty. It's her way of telling me "If I don't get water, you don't get water." It's funny.

And my Jack, when he pees. He's not being an *******. He's trying to tell me something. I just haven't figured out what yet. And that doesn't make me mad. It just makes me sad.

Ha ha! Tinkie won't just knock your glass over. She'll stick her head in it and drink out of it first. We even gave her her own water glass because she seemed to prefer it over the stainless steel bowl. She knocked it over. We gave her another one. She knocked it over. After a while we realized that she was trying to move it and was sometimes successful in doing so (before knocking it over), because she didn't like where we kept it. We finally figured out where she wants her water, which is kind of in the middle of the doorway, so we just leave it there now. People are baffled when they come over and see this water dish out in the middle of the floor, but it works for her, so we accommodate her. On the plus side, we're no longer cleaning up giant puddles of water every day

This is exactly it. There is usually a REASON for what they do. Even if we are too dumb to figure it out.

I love that you guy do this for Tinkie, LM.

 

[NOYFB]

This is exactly it. There is usually a REASON for what they do. Even if we are too dumb to figure it out.

I love that you guy do this for Tinkie, LM.

Thanks Gypsy. Here's a photo of how her food dish and bowl are located on the floor. She's our special little lady so we do whatever we can to make her happy. Because, as I said before, it's HER house (and Peanut's) too!

Hmmm...not sure why the pic is sideways. Well, you can turn your head to the left to see it. LOL

 

[cmd2014]

OP:

I've had cats all of my life...peeing on the floor is NOT normal. I've only ever had one cat pee inappropriately, and he was 15, stressed from a move, and in the first day in the new house and forgot where the box was and just couldn't quite get there fast enough. Protest poops next to a less than ideal litter, sure, but not peeing. Please take the cat to the vet. Don't assume it is stress. Most of the time that is not the problem. And please stop punishing it for being unwell or unhappy.

I also want you to know that I have hardwood floors and the cat is not an issue, and DH and I are both professionals who work long hours. Neither are my (uncovered) leather sofa/love seat. I do keep a table pad and cloth on the dining room table though just in case (but that goes for DH and me too with our plates). Most cats are not destructive if they are well cared for (attended to, played with, fed good quality food, have clean litter, and are medically examined if behaviour suddenly changes). Worst case scenario, hardwood floors can be sanded and refinished....but truthfully, most liquids wipe right up, and they are way easier than carpet to clean barf off of (the bigger risk with pets). For the carpet you may have in the house, a Bissel machine (even the small hand held ones) are your best friend. I have yet to come across a stain that mine did not get up. Pine sol, hot water, and a mop works well for wood. Please don't let family (who clearly hate cats) freak you out. The only pieces of real estate I have seen ruined were either from kids (toys on hardwood, bikes on hardwood, push toys on hardwood, crayon on walls, and diaper less child rearing pee stains), dogs (chewing, peeing, and funky wet dog smell), or hoarders (where the cat pee is the least of the issues). Normal, responsible cat owners do not have these problems. I have sold each of my homes for way over asking, WITH cats. And mine have free run of the house.

It sounds to me like these are your DH's cats and that you are not, and may never have been, a fan. You may have to respect his love for them, even if you don't share it. These are living creatures who depend on you for everything, and deserve care. Think how you might feel if your family stopped wanting you if you got old, or sick, or stopped being able to function in the way that they wanted you to. Plus, if you decide to have children,the damage they will do to a home makes ANYTHING a cat can do pale in comparison.

So, first step is to the vet. Next step is to see what the cat needs (if it is not sick) that it is not getting now. Then you might want to see how it reacts in the new house. What you see now may not be how it is in a new environment.

 

[NOYFB]

OP:

I've had cats all of my life...peeing on the floor is NOT normal. I've only ever had one cat pee inappropriately, and he was 15, stressed from a move, and in the first day in the new house and forgot where the box was and just couldn't quite get there fast enough. Protest poops next to a less than ideal litter, sure, but not peeing. Please take the cat to the vet. Don't assume it is stress. Most of the time that is not the problem. And please stop punishing it for being unwell or unhappy.

I also want you to know that I have hardwood floors and the cat is not an issue, and DH and I are both professionals who work long hours. Neither are my (uncovered) leather sofa/love seat. I do keep a table pad and cloth on the dining room table though just in case (but that goes for DH and me too with our plates). Most cats are not destructive if they are well cared for (attended to, played with, fed good quality food, have clean litter, and are medically examined if behaviour suddenly changes). Worst case scenario, hardwood floors can be sanded and refinished....but truthfully, most liquids wipe right up, and they are way easier than carpet to clean barf off of (the bigger risk with pets). For the carpet you may have in the house, a Bissel machine (even the small hand held ones) are your best friend. I have yet to come across a stain that mine did not get up. Pine sol, hot water, and a mop works well for wood. Please don't let family (who clearly hate cats) freak you out. The only pieces of real estate I have seen ruined were either from kids (toys on hardwood, bikes on hardwood, push toys on hardwood, crayon on walls, and diaper less child rearing pee stains), dogs (chewing, peeing, and funky wet dog smell), or hoarders (where the cat pee is the least of the issues). Normal, responsible cat owners do not have these problems. I have sold each of my homes for way over asking, WITH cats. And mine have free run of the house.

It sounds to me like these are your DH's cats and that you are not, and may never have been, a fan. You may have to respect his love for them, even if you don't share it. These are living creatures who depend on you for everything, and deserve care. Think how you might feel if your family stopped wanting you if you got old, or sick, or stopped being able to function in the way that they wanted you to. Plus, if you decide to have children,the damage they will do to a home makes ANYTHING a cat can do pale in comparison.

So, first step is to the vet. Next step is to see what the cat needs (if it is not sick) that it is not getting now. Then you might want to see how it reacts in the new house. What you see now may not be how it is in a new environment.

Well said. And welcome to PS!

 

[CJ2008]

OP:

I've had cats all of my life...peeing on the floor is NOT normal. I've only ever had one cat pee inappropriately, and he was 15, stressed from a move, and in the first day in the new house and forgot where the box was and just couldn't quite get there fast enough. Protest poops next to a less than ideal litter, sure, but not peeing. Please take the cat to the vet. Don't assume it is stress. Most of the time that is not the problem. And please stop punishing it for being unwell or unhappy.

I also want you to know that I have hardwood floors and the cat is not an issue, and DH and I are both professionals who work long hours. Neither are my (uncovered) leather sofa/love seat. I do keep a table pad and cloth on the dining room table though just in case (but that goes for DH and me too with our plates). Most cats are not destructive if they are well cared for (attended to, played with, fed good quality food, have clean litter, and are medically examined if behaviour suddenly changes). Worst case scenario, hardwood floors can be sanded and refinished....but truthfully, most liquids wipe right up, and they are way easier than carpet to clean barf off of (the bigger risk with pets). For the carpet you may have in the house, a Bissel machine (even the small hand held ones) are your best friend. I have yet to come across a stain that mine did not get up. Pine sol, hot water, and a mop works well for wood. Please don't let family (who clearly hate cats) freak you out. The only pieces of real estate I have seen ruined were either from kids (toys on hardwood, bikes on hardwood, push toys on hardwood, crayon on walls, and diaper less child rearing pee stains), dogs (chewing, peeing, and funky wet dog smell), or hoarders (where the cat pee is the least of the issues). Normal, responsible cat owners do not have these problems. I have sold each of my homes for way over asking, WITH cats. And mine have free run of the house.

It sounds to me like these are your DH's cats and that you are not, and may never have been, a fan. You may have to respect his love for them, even if you don't share it. These are living creatures who depend on you for everything, and deserve care. Think how you might feel if your family stopped wanting you if you got old, or sick, or stopped being able to function in the way that they wanted you to. Plus, if you decide to have children,the damage they will do to a home makes ANYTHING a cat can do pale in comparison.

So, first step is to the vet. Next step is to see what the cat needs (if it is not sick) that it is not getting now. Then you might want to see how it reacts in the new house. What you see now may not be how it is in a new environment.

That is such a great way to put it cmd. (and hello!)

And now that cmd brings it up...04diamond, maybe your DH needs get more involved too...maybe a lot (or all) of the clean up and dealing with the daily messes and trying to figure out solutions is falling on you?

And I hope you're still checking in on this thread and still finding all this advice helpful. I hope you check in soon and let us know how things are going.

 

[Gypsy]

This is exactly it. There is usually a REASON for what they do. Even if we are too dumb to figure it out.

I love that you guy do this for Tinkie, LM.

Thanks Gypsy. Here's a photo of how her food dish and bowl are located on the floor. She's our special little lady so we do whatever we can to make her happy. Because, as I said before, it's HER house (and Peanut's) too!

Hmmm...not sure why the pic is sideways. Well, you can turn your head to the left to see it. LOL

That. Is. Awesome.

My Lucy has her own room. She doesn't like the other cats. And will only tolerate one of them. So... she gets her own room and she spends every other night with us. It's her life. Not ours.