Cat People - I really need some avice!

[04diamond<3]

So we're finally building our dream home and we close in less than a month! we've been married almost 6 years but have only had cats for the last 4.

When we got the oldest cat, we lived in a spacious two bedroom and he was the only one - he loved the attention and all the space, just for him. Then we moved to a smaller two bedroom and that's when he changed. Both DH and I work in stressful fields so we were gone a lot. We'd come home to pee embedded in the carpet. It was only in front of the front door.

Since he was stressed, we thought a campanion would be nice for him, so we got a baby sister for him. She was the complete opposite, playful and relaxed as can be. He hated her and we were afraid he'd kill her while we were gone so we'd lock her in the bathroom for the first two weeks (only while we were gone). After they warmed up to each other (just recently started cuddling after 2 years) ,we moved again due to me being in school full time and having to survive on DH's old salary.

Since I was home, the older cat wasn't peeing in front of the door as much. And the few times he did, I was there to clean it right away. However, since looking around, I've noticed, he's done little spritz's of pee along the apartment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The other issue is that he pee's when he's scared. He's terrified of thunderstorms but now every single time it just rains, he will pee (still does this).

I'm also allergic to them, but it's been ok as long as I don't cuddle them, get scratched, swallow any hair (that gets on my food) or, God forbid get one in my eye! But, we have friends and family that are far more allergic than I am and haven't come to our home because of the cats. All of this, I was set on giving them up for adoption. I also feel really bad because due to our schedules, we're not around much to interact with them, so I feel like I've neglected them. It's hard for me not to even when I'm home though because of my allergies.

DH says that having a bigger home will help - they won't be as stressed, we'll keep it spot less and we'll have air purifiers every where. I don't want to be a bad owner, but I can't stand the damage and the mess that's created. I know it sounds elitest of me, and trust me, I' not - just keeping up with everything else and coming home to puke, pee and hairballs is beyond irritating.

We've waited a long time to get our own home and we're paying my salary just for the floors! I don't want to sound selfish, but I'd really have a panic attack if they did this at the house. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I was set on giving them up...but my brothers cat died today and it broke my heart. I love them dearly and just want the best for them. What do we do???

 

[sonnyjane]

Is he fixed?

I'll be honest, reading your post it really seemed to me like you were set on giving them up and were giving reasons to justify it. At the end of the post you said you don't want to which I hope is true unless you find a very good place for them (like a friend that you knew could take them, not surrendering to a shelter).

The bottom line is when you have pets, you suffer collateral damage - carpet, furniture, curtains, etc. It's just like having kids. Keeping a home in pristine condition isn't a realistic goal with kids or with pets... Just have to decide which you care about more. I clean up puke off of freshly washed sheets (we are talking literally seconds after putting them on the bed) quite often. Puke on the carpet? We bought a spot-bot to clean up easily. He is worth it. Don't keep animals you will resent and not love (not fair to them), but if you really do care for them, you just deal.

As is customary, I'd recommend going to a vet to get their opinion and rule out any type of medical condition. They may also have some recommendations for the anxiety, but aside from that I don't have much more to offer.

 

[lulu]

Sonnyjane said it better than I could. If you take these cats to a shelter they will be traumatized. If you love them you have to step up your game.

 

[movie zombie]

when one has cats one always has "issues".
tile floor in your new home is your friend.
your husband is right that a larger space will help.
having your older cat checked to make sure there are not kidney issues is also in order.

we had a sofa that I wrapped in clear packing tape to keep the cats from clawing.
and then we still had to cover it due to older cats with end of days health issues.....
and we still do this.

there is also a product called Feliway for cat anxiety.

let me repeat: tile flooring is your friend.

and so that you don't feel alone: my Spikey cat who has been a household cat now for 15 years only 2 years ago quit spraying....but has relapsed several times this year when we did not acknowledge his presence upon returning home. sigh.

at the end of the day i'd rather have my cat family members than house beautiful.

 

[04diamond<3]

Is he fixed?

I'll be honest, reading your post it really seemed to me like you were set on giving them up and were giving reasons to justify it. At the end of the post you said you don't want to which I hope is true unless you find a very good place for them (like a friend that you knew could take them, not surrendering to a shelter).

The bottom line is when you have pets, you suffer collateral damage - carpet, furniture, curtains, etc. It's just like having kids. Keeping a home in pristine condition isn't a realistic goal with kids or with pets... Just have to decide which you care about more. I clean up puke off of freshly washed sheets (we are talking literally seconds after putting them on the bed) quite often. Puke on the carpet? We bought a spot-bot to clean up easily. He is worth it. Don't keep animals you will resent and not love (not fair to them), but if you really do care for them, you just deal.

As is customary, I'd recommend going to a vet to get their opinion and rule out any type of medical condition. They may also have some recommendations for the anxiety, but aside from that I don't have much more to offer.

I wouldn't give them to anyone that wasn't a friend. I couldn't do it because I still want to see them. I wasn't giving reasons, just back story because it's not that I just want to give up on them and I just want to get rid of them, because I don't. I am constantly paranoid about what they're doing because of the consistent mess and then I get upset and don't want anything to do with them so I ignore them. I dont feel like I am the owner they need. But I do love them and that won't change, which is why I posted here. For advice, in case I didn't know something that maybe could help.

I agree - maybe a visit to the vet would help...we'll have to do that. thanks

 

[04diamond<3]

when one has cats one always has "issues".
tile floor in your new home is your friend.
your husband is right that a larger space will help.
having your older cat checked to make sure there are not kidney issues is also in order.

we had a sofa that I wrapped in clear packing tape to keep the cats from clawing.
and then we still had to cover it due to older cats with end of days health issues.....
and we still do this.

there is also a product called Feliway for cat anxiety.

let me repeat: tile flooring is your friend.

and so that you don't feel alone: my Spikey cat who has been a household cat now for 15 years only 2 years ago quit spraying....but has relapsed several times this year when we did not acknowledge his presence upon returning home. sigh.

at the end of the day i'd rather have my cat family members than house beautiful.

thanks MZ - this is helpful. I'll have to try Feliway and hopefully that'll help...Our cats haven't scratched any furniture which I've been so grateful for even though they still have their claws. We have tile in the bathrooms and in part of the basement and every where else that will be open to the cats is hardwood.

The oldest was neutered as soon as we got him because he immediately started spraying. It's possible he has some issue that we could find out from the vet.

 

[Matata]

First thing to do is get a physical to ensure the scared cat has a clean bill of health. You can try the various calming collars that are available on the market. And talk to your vet about putting him on Amitriptyline for awhile to see if that helps. You can also try Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract litter which has had great success with a lot of cats who have inappropriate elimination. You don't have to fill the entire box with it, you can put a 1/2 inch on top of your usual litter.

In the new house, be sure to have several cat trees and hiding places for them. You should have at least 3 litter boxes in various locations in the house. The boxes need to be in spaces that are traffic free and relatively quiet so he can access the box without fear of being disturbed. Do not used covered boxes. I use clear/opaque sterilite boxes.

When you take the cats to the new house, set up a room for them with their beds, toys, litter boxes, food & water and boxes for them to hide in. Leave them in the room for a few days to get used to the sounds and smells of the new house. When you let them out to explore, keep their safe room set up for awhile until they feel confident in the new house. You should have those other litter boxes placed in the house as well as in the safe room.

 

[04diamond<3]

First thing to do is get a physical to ensure the scared cat has a clean bill of health. You can try the various calming collars that are available on the market. And talk to your vet about putting him on Amitriptyline for awhile to see if that helps. You can also try Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract litter which has had great success with a lot of cats who have inappropriate elimination. You don't have to fill the entire box with it, you can put a 1/2 inch on top of your usual litter.

In the new house, be sure to have several cat trees and hiding places for them. You should have at least 3 litter boxes in various locations in the house. The boxes need to be in spaces that are traffic free and relatively quiet so he can access the box without fear of being disturbed. Do not used covered boxes. I use clear/opaque sterilite boxes.

When you take the cats to the new house, set up a room for them with their beds, toys, litter boxes, food & water and boxes for them to hide in. Leave them in the room for a few days to get used to the sounds and smells of the new house. When you let them out to explore, keep their safe room set up for awhile until they feel confident in the new house. You should have those other litter boxes placed in the house as well as in the safe room.

Matata - this is great advice! thank you so much for being so helpful. I appreciate you offering words of wisdom instead of judgement. We'll try it out and hopefully they'll be happy and feel relaxed. We've watched a lot of 'my cat from hell' for the education (not because our cats our hellish), and have learned a lot. We'll have plenty of places for them to hide and play and I'm really hoping he won't pee. The throw up and hairballs are easy clean ups, I'm just worried about the wood floor. Hopefull the vet will be able to help us with that part.

Thanks again!

 

[Gypsy]

It is really hard for me to reply to this.

I agree with this: "I'll be honest, reading your post it really seemed to me like you were set on giving them up and were giving reasons to justify it."

Would you re-home a child if he was peeing on the floor?

I recently rescued a cat (year ago) and he sprays. It's not a physical thing, he's got a clean bill of health from two different vets. He's got emotional issues and we are working with him to help with that, but I am under no illusions at all that he is ever going to stop spraying. He's killed my curtains (his favorite victims) and I'm about to replace one of our rugs. And we are considering buying a very nice home soon. He's our kid. We will be getting either Luxury Vinyl Plank floors or tile, or concerete. We will be getting the bamboo blinds instead of curtains. And I'm sticking to cheap rugs that are indoor outdoor friendly. That is IMO, the ONLY solution. Re-homing him is not one at all.

He's my kid and he's my kid for life. Not until I buy a home with impractical floors. Not until he pees in the wrong spot. For LIFE.

You knew going into building this home that he had spraying issue. You should have looked into the options for pee-proof flooring. You didn't. You chose flooring over your cat. I'm sorry, but that's not okay to me.

If you do re-home him, please do not get any other pets. Clearly you don't have the right priorities to be a long term pet owner.

 

[momhappy]

As someone who used to own cats - a cat who pees, will continue to do so. Since others are being honest, then I will too - I feel that you (or your husband) is making excuses (saying the new house will help). I disagree, but I suppose only time will tell. Cat pee is the reason why I am no longer a cat owner (I am now a dog owner ). Cat pee can destroy a home. I'm not advocating giving up your pets, but I'm sharing my experience, so you can take it for what it's worth. Best of luck on your situation and perhaps the new home will help and your cats will settle into your new home without the issue

 

[movie zombie]

I will note that my Spikey cat was neutered....and yet he sprayed consistently and constantly...until about 2 years ago. it is very much an emotional issue.......

also, when you move move everything out of the house and have it in place prior to moving the cats. while the house will be different, the things in it will be the same. this will be comfort for them as cats do not like change. it is important that their first experience of the new house is that it is a home containing all the already known items and smells.

you might try isolating them until they get used to the new space.

yes, a cat that sprays and is emotional may get better but it is his personality and how he has learned to express himself. he is telling you something which could be as simple as I didn't get petted when you came in the door to the cat box isn't clean enough.

agreeing with Matata that you need at least 3 litter boxes. we have 4 cats and 9 [yes, 9] litter boxes.
having some in various spaces in the house is also a good idea.
cats will and do mark territory and having their own litter box is part of it.

additionally, my Spikey cat in the past took a distinct dislike to certain throw rugs and even when clean would spray on them.
cats do smell odors that we do not and I finally took the hint and removed the offending rug.

 

[CJ2008]

Don't keep animals you will resent and not love (not fair to them), but if you really do care for them, you just deal.

This gets at the heart of what you need to do.

It does sound to me like you care for them, and you have tried some things to help the cats be more comfortable.

The thing is, you have to decide what's your limit at trying to help them, and be truthful with yourself about that.

Perhaps you've done all you're willing to do.

And that's OK.

In the sense that it's better that you admit and do what you need to do to rehome them (and only to an excellent home) rather than keep them out of guilt or because of what people may say if you give them up.

Yes - I'd rather hear that you and your DH will do whatever it takes, and keep them. But if you're going to ignore them when you get upset at them, or not treat them like family, what good will that really do? Only on the surface.

I think you need to be truthful whether you're at the end of what you're willing to do.

If you are, then put all your energy and effort into finding these cats a suitable home. But I think you need to be ready for the fact that it may take a while - maybe a lot longer than you'd rather it take. I do think you owe that to them - to give them whatever time it takes to find a good home. If you do that, I feel like you can feel good about having been honest with yourself and done what in the end is good for the cats.

If not, I'd suggest hiring a cat behaviorist for several visits or however long it takes to get the issues addressed (aside from like others suggested, making sure it's not a physical issue, making sure they have enough hiding and playing places, litter boxes, etc.). There is something going on with that cat - and it's very likely it has to do with something the humans are doing or not doing. You know this from watching the Cat From Hell - it's not about feeling guilty, it's about recognizing it.

Good luck - I hope you are able to do whatever's best for your family and for these cats.

 

[VRBeauty]

I used to have a male who sprayed, and I'd second everything Matata said. Spraying is marking territory. I agree with Gypsy that a cat that's used to spraying to assert its territory will probably continue doing so to some extent, but my experience is that it can be lessened. Out-of-litter box peeing, when it's not associated with a medical issue, is also usually marking territory. (I'm willing to bet that when your cat was peeing by the front door, it was in response to another male cat "visiting" your front porch while you were away at work.) More room will help. Extra litter boxes will help and water/feeding stations will help. Keeping a big bottle of extra-strength Nature's Miracle on hand, and cleaning up spray as soon as you can, will help. Giving each of the cats more attention will help. I've never tried the Feliway spray, but it might be worth your while try it. It might also be worthwhile to ask the vet about medications that might calm your cat - or even suppress the male's testosterone? - to use when the cats are adjusting to their new environment. If your cats are puking regularly they should get checked out anyway.

One of my friends confined his cat to rooms with tiled floors when it got older and started peeing on the rugs - something to consider. He used baby gates to keep the cat in the designated parts of the house.

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/urine-marking-cats

BTW, if you buy new upholstered furniture for your new house, you might want to drape the first few pieces with sheets or something until you're sure your male isn't tempted to spray them too. And/or make sure the pieces are Scotchguarded, or whatever is being used instead of Scotchguard these days.

 

[NOYFB]

It is really hard for me to reply to this.

I agree with this: "I'll be honest, reading your post it really seemed to me like you were set on giving them up and were giving reasons to justify it."

Would you re-home a child if he was peeing on the floor?

I recently rescued a cat (year ago) and he sprays. It's not a physical thing, he's got a clean bill of health from two different vets. He's got emotional issues and we are working with him to help with that, but I am under no illusions at all that he is ever going to stop spraying. He's killed my curtains (his favorite victims) and I'm about to replace one of our rugs. And we are considering buying a very nice home soon. He's our kid. We will be getting either Luxury Vinyl Plank floors or tile, or concerete. We will be getting the bamboo blinds instead of curtains. And I'm sticking to cheap rugs that are indoor outdoor friendly. That is IMO, the ONLY solution. Re-homing him is not one at all.

He's my kid and he's my kid for life. Not until I buy a home with impractical floors. Not until he pees in the wrong spot. For LIFE.

You knew going into building this home that he had spraying issue. You should have looked into the options for pee-proof flooring. You didn't. You chose flooring over your cat. I'm sorry, but that's not okay to me.

If you do re-home him, please do not get any other pets. Clearly you don't have the right priorities to be a long term pet owner.

Gypsy said it all better than I could have. My cats are my kids. They stay with me FOR LIFE. My "stuff" can be replaced, and some of it has been. My cats, however, cannot be replaced. That being said, my leather couch is covered in blankets. It has a few scratch marks on it. It comes with the territory. I have hardwood floors, bamboo rugs, and bamboo blinds. Cat puke/hairballs are easily removed with no damage. The litter box is in a tiled room, so urine is easily cleaned up when my big 22 pounder aims his butt just out of the box. There are certain rugs that they like to scratch and groom on that hide damage very well. Those are their rugs. My guy likes to lounge on my office chair. That's his spot. My girl likes to hang out on top of the couch, so there are soft kitty pads there for her, which she loves. The point is, I make sure that my cats have their own spaces where they feel comfortable. This is THEIR house, too.

 

[dk168]

My cat was 2.5yo approx. when I got her from another family who could not keep her.

She was not chipped, and I kept her indoors until I could get an appointment with the vet to have her chipped.

She did not like being indoors, and pee'ed on a cushion.

I got some Feliway after reading de-stressing cats in new environment, and it appeared to work, as she did not pee again since. Therefore, I would advise giving this product a try.

Like the others have said, my pets are my children substitute, and they are here to stay. Luckily the house is relatively pet proof with leather sofa and hard floors downstairs, and neither the cat nor the dog are scratchers, and I count myself lucky.

My house is definitely not one that is show-house standard, however, it is my home, and the pets are not the ones making most of the mess!

DK

 

[ecf8503]

First thing to do is get a physical to ensure the scared cat has a clean bill of health. You can try the various calming collars that are available on the market. And talk to your vet about putting him on Amitriptyline for awhile to see if that helps. You can also try Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract litter which has had great success with a lot of cats who have inappropriate elimination. You don't have to fill the entire box with it, you can put a 1/2 inch on top of your usual litter.

In the new house, be sure to have several cat trees and hiding places for them. You should have at least 3 litter boxes in various locations in the house. The boxes need to be in spaces that are traffic free and relatively quiet so he can access the box without fear of being disturbed. Do not used covered boxes. I use clear/opaque sterilite boxes.

When you take the cats to the new house, set up a room for them with their beds, toys, litter boxes, food & water and boxes for them to hide in. Leave them in the room for a few days to get used to the sounds and smells of the new house. When you let them out to explore, keep their safe room set up for awhile until they feel confident in the new house. You should have those other litter boxes placed in the house as well as in the safe room.

I'm a veterinarian, and I worked in cats-only practices for many years. I agree with what Matata said - all good advice.

First getting the older one who eliminates inappropriately examined by a veterinarian is a good idea. I've had cats of my own who had inappropriate urination issues, and 2 of them ended having bladder stones and one was in kidney failure. Other conditions can cause irritation to the bladder as well, so having a thorough exam with proper diagnostics is key.

If everything checks out ok, look at the litter box situation - it's a general rule to have one more box than you have cats, use a non-scented clumping litter, and make sure it gets scooped daily at the least. Some cats prefer pristine boxes and won't use it if it is soiled at all, so scooping several times a day is sometimes required.

As for the floors, have you looked into tile that looks like wood? We recently had some parts of our house redone with it, and it looks fantastic. Just a thought.

And making the house cat friendly is important - they need to feel like they have their own spaces and things. Cat trees, perches, scratching posts and pads, etc are all very good investments.

 

[purplesparklies]

I am not a cat person. Can't be. Allergies prevent it. However, I do love my dogs. I'll speak from a dog owner perspective.

I am sorry you are so very frustrated and I don't blame you for being uncomfortable with the status quo. I have had dogs my entire life. Two years ago I re-homed a dog after much effort to resolve a situation and much angst. In a nutshell, schedules changed and my bulldog developed a behavioral issue in protest. He started urinating and defecating in his crate when left for even short periods. We talked to the vet, not a medical issue, and a behaviorist. We tried various strategies to no avail. A friend who loved my bully boy and who is home much more than I offered to take him. He is spoiled rotten there. They love him. He is happy not being crated. We are happy to not have the frustration and daily disgusting messes.

It was heartbreaking. I cried and agonized over the decision but it was the best decision for my family, my home and the dog. He was unhappy so he was acting out. Not a good situation for any of us.

I understand the love for pets. I can't say I love them like my children because I have children and it doesn't even compare but I do love them. That being said, I will not subject myself or my family to living in unhealthy, unsanitary conditions because a pet has a behavior issue. I will not allow my home to be destroyed. We bring pets into our homes to love and to be a part of our lives. Normal pet issues are to be expected. Pets who behave like wild, untrained animals and who can not be trained to live harmoniously as part of our household are only bringing stress and frustration. That is not healthy for you or for them. Do I think pets are disposable? Absolutely not. I have worked with vets, behavior specialists and trainers when needed.

When a situation disintegrates to the point where there are no solutions and it is clear there is no hope for improvement, there is no need to subject yourself to a life of filth and frustration. My mental health, the health of my family and the physical health of my home has value and the health of the people in my house will always take precedence. I think that it is easy for those who are fortunate to have significant disposable income to speak casually of pets destroying furniture, flooring, walls, etc. and assert that it is to be expected and allowed as part of pet ownership. My home is a huge investment and a sizable asset. I can not afford to simply replace furniture, flooring, etc. I just can't. And I refuse to live in a toilet or a disaster zone of ruin and mayhem.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this. I hope you can find a solution that will be best for you and your pet. Good luck.

 

[mochiko42]

It is really hard for me to reply to this.

I agree with this: "I'll be honest, reading your post it really seemed to me like you were set on giving them up and were giving reasons to justify it."

Would you re-home a child if he was peeing on the floor?

I recently rescued a cat (year ago) and he sprays. It's not a physical thing, he's got a clean bill of health from two different vets. He's got emotional issues and we are working with him to help with that, but I am under no illusions at all that he is ever going to stop spraying. He's killed my curtains (his favorite victims) and I'm about to replace one of our rugs. And we are considering buying a very nice home soon. He's our kid. We will be getting either Luxury Vinyl Plank floors or tile, or concerete. We will be getting the bamboo blinds instead of curtains. And I'm sticking to cheap rugs that are indoor outdoor friendly. That is IMO, the ONLY solution. Re-homing him is not one at all.

He's my kid and he's my kid for life. Not until I buy a home with impractical floors. Not until he pees in the wrong spot. For LIFE.

You knew going into building this home that he had spraying issue. You should have looked into the options for pee-proof flooring. You didn't. You chose flooring over your cat. I'm sorry, but that's not okay to me.

If you do re-home him, please do not get any other pets. Clearly you don't have the right priorities to be a long term pet owner.

Gypsy said it all better than I could have. My cats are my kids. They stay with me FOR LIFE. My "stuff" can be replaced, and some of it has been. My cats, however, cannot be replaced. That being said, my leather couch is covered in blankets. It has a few scratch marks on it. It comes with the territory. I have hardwood floors, bamboo rugs, and bamboo blinds. Cat puke/hairballs are easily removed with no damage. The litter box is in a tiled room, so urine is easily cleaned up when my big 22 pounder aims his butt just out of the box. There are certain rugs that they like to scratch and groom on that hide damage very well. Those are their rugs. My guy likes to lounge on my office chair. That's his spot. My girl likes to hang out on top of the couch, so there are soft kitty pads there for her, which she loves. The point is, I make sure that my cats have their own spaces where they feel comfortable. This is THEIR house, too.

I used to have grand visions of having a really fabulous house, but after getting cats, I've found that really I don't need a leather couch or a hardwood coffee table. A generic Ikea couch and regular coffee table works fine, and I can replace it every year or so when it's all scratched up. Also, this means I have money left over for stuff that the cats can't scratch and claw at: ie, bling

 

[tweeter8177]

Definitely bring in the cat to the vet and make sure he doesn’t have a bladder infection. We had friends that went a year and ½ with a cat peeing everywhere and it turned out to be an infection. They were at their wits end before that. As soon as the infection cleared up with medication, no more peeing! They felt horrible that they didn’t go to the vet sooner! We also had the same issue with one of our cats and it was the same thing, an infection. Of course, that might not be the issue with your cat.

Assuming it isn’t medical, have you considered isolating the cats to one single room while you are away from the house? We have 3 cats (had 4 at one point) and I totally understand the frustration with hairballs, puke, etc. It is inevitable. When we leave for work or go to bed, all the cats go to the basement where there are a ton of cat trees, beds and toys. It also has windows where they can bird watch and such. We trained them with treats to go to the basement and they have no problems with it. They even wait patiently at the basement door for their treats when they know we are leaving for work. When we go to “their” space to clean the litters and the area, they all follow to see what we are doing in their space! The basement carpet is a disaster after a few weeks (mostly hairballs), so we rent a rug doctor frequently to clean it up. We just plan to tear up the carpet and replace it before we ever move. This helps isolate the mess to a smaller space and generally keeps it out of the main living space. Ironically, they get the run of the house while we are traveling or other occasions and they never leave a mess! It is weird.

Sorry you are dealing with this. I know it is frustrating!!!

 

[momhappy]

I am not a cat person. Can't be. Allergies prevent it. However, I do love my dogs. I'll speak from a dog owner perspective.

I am sorry you are so very frustrated and I don't blame you for being uncomfortable with the status quo. I have had dogs my entire life. Two years ago I re-homed a dog after much effort to resolve a situation and much angst. In a nutshell, schedules changed and my bulldog developed a behavioral issue in protest. He started urinating and defecating in his crate when left for even short periods. We talked to the vet, not a medical issue, and a behaviorist. We tried various strategies to no avail. A friend who loved my bully boy and who is home much more than I offered to take him. He is spoiled rotten there. They love him. He is happy not being crated. We are happy to not have the frustration and daily disgusting messes.

It was heartbreaking. I cried and agonized over the decision but it was the best decision for my family, my home and the dog. He was unhappy so he was acting out. Not a good situation for any of us.

I understand the love for pets. I can't say I love them like my children because I have children and it doesn't even compare but I do love them. That being said, I will not subject myself or my family to living in unhealthy, unsanitary conditions because a pet has a behavior issue. I will not allow my home to be destroyed. We bring pets into our homes to love and to be a part of our lives. Normal pet issues are to be expected. Pets who behave like wild, untrained animals and who can not be trained to live harmoniously as part of our household are only bringing stress and frustration. That is not healthy for you or for them. Do I think pets are disposable? Absolutely not. I have worked with vets, behavior specialists and trainers when needed.

When a situation disintegrates to the point where there are no solutions and it is clear there is no hope for improvement, there is no need to subject yourself to a life of filth and frustration. My mental health, the health of my family and the physical health of my home has value and the health of the people in my house will always take precedence. I think that it is easy for those who are fortunate to have significant disposable income to speak casually of pets destroying furniture, flooring, walls, etc. and assert that it is to be expected and allowed as part of pet ownership. My home is a huge investment and a sizable asset. I can not afford to simply replace furniture, flooring, etc. I just can't. And I refuse to live in a toilet or a disaster zone of ruin and mayhem.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this. I hope you can find a solution that will be best for you and your pet. Good luck.

I agree with you. I realize that this is a very sensitive subject because most of us love our pets dearly and we treat them like family (because that's what they are - a part of our families). I have two dogs and they are incredibly spoiled
As much as we love our pets, they are not people, so to compare them to children, is not a fair comparison IMO. I'm certainly not saying that pets are "disposable" and should be given away when they become inconvenient. What I'm saying is that sometimes, there are circumstances that require solutions. It's not fair to judge someone on their status as a pet owner simply because they're dealing with a problem that others might be willing to overlook (cat urine for example). I can agree with the fact that there are many things about my pets that I'm willing to overlook and/or deal with. I could deal with things like a cat scratching furniture and/or home, a dog barking, shedding, etc. However, I draw the line at more serious issues that would include things like a dog biting, cat urine, etc. When a cat pees on the floor or walls, it's not just about the surface that it has eliminated on. Cat urine can seep into base boards, sub flooring, etc. Most cat urine does not contain enough ammonia to cause serious health problems, but if it's concentrated enough (for example, if cat urine repeatedly seeps into your flooring and/or walls over long periods of time), then it can cause unpleasant physical symptoms (respiratory issues, allergies, headache, nausea, etc.).
As far as OP is concerned, you've received lots of valuable advice here. I agree that your first stop should be your vet to rule out any physical abnormalities that might be causing the cat to eliminate in your home. Next, I would hire an animal behaviorist in an effort to try to resolve the issue. If all of those things failed, and the cat was still urinating in my home, then the issue might need to be resolved by finding a different home for the cat.

 

[Gypsy]

We use Feliway, it has helped. I have a huge thing of Nature's Miracle (actually I have stuff that works better). And BLEACH. The best part of having tile floors (or linoleum which is what we have) is the ability to bleach. A black light to highlight peeing (we use this every day) and help us spot it, is our solution. He doesn't spray every day. Or even once a week. It's not a constant thing. But it does happen.


I object to the comment about people with huge disposable incomes being nonchalant about the expenses of pet destruction. That's not me. I have 6 cats. One of them has cancer. That IS my disposable income. I have to save for months for a new rug. Or new drapes. But that's what I do... save.

The income is not the issue here. It's about priorities.

The OP had a very clear choice when she was picking her flooring. She could have spent the exact same amount or less and gotten Luxury Vinyl Plank or Wood-Look tile for the same price or less in her house. She did not. She chose hardwood floors knowing her cat has peeing issues. And now she's wondering what decision to make. To me, she's already made that decision. The minute she picked hardwood floors, she made the decision that her flooring was her priority and not her cat. She chose the hardwood floors over her cat. Period.

Also additional comments: Female cats spraying is different than male cats.

 

[Matata]

FYI Anti Icky Poo http://www.antiickypoo.com Is a terrific product for getting rid of urine odor. You can get an injection unit to use on cushions and mattresses. It's the favored product of breeders on a cat forum where I am an administrator.

 

[Gypsy]

FYI Anti Icky Poo http://www.antiickypoo.com Is a terrific product for getting rid of urine odor. You can get an injection unit to use on cushions and mattresses. It's the favored product of breeders on a cat forum where I am an administrator.

Awesome. Will try that!

ETA: Ordered some!

 

[momhappy]

We use Feliway, it has helped. I have a huge thing of Nature's Miracle (actually I have stuff that works better). And BLEACH. The best part of having tile floors (or linoleum which is what we have) is the ability to bleach. A black light to highlight peeing (we use this every day) and help us spot it, is our solution. He doesn't spray every day. Or even once a week. It's not a constant thing. But it does happen.


I object to the comment about people with huge disposable incomes being nonchalant about the expenses of pet destruction. That's not me. I have 6 cats. One of them has cancer. That IS my disposable income. I have to save for months for a new rug. Or new drapes. But that's what I do... save.

The income is not the issue here. It's about priorities.

The OP had a very clear choice when she was picking her flooring. She could have spent the exact same amount or less and gotten Luxury Vinyl Plank or Wood-Look tile for the same price or less in her house. She did not. She chose hardwood floors knowing her cat has peeing issues. And now she's wondering what decision to make. To me, she's already made that decision. The minute she picked hardwood floors, she made the decision that her flooring was her priority and not her cat. She chose the hardwood floors over her cat. Period.

Also additional comments: Female cats spraying is different than male cats.

I think that OP is being judged unfairly. We don't know her and to say that she chose hardwood floors over her cat is an unfair statement IMO. Sure, certain types of flooring may be better than others in terms of cleaning up cat urine, but I can't imagine a scenario in which a cat owner would be able to remove 100% of cat pee accidents 100% of the time (even with diligence, black lights, proper cleaning products, etc.) no matter what type of flooring they have. A cat pee accident that's gone unseen and allowed to "sit" for awhile can seep in (cracks at base boards, etc.). The answer to a cat urination problem is not "proper" flooring IMO - the answer (for some folks) is not having cat that urinates outside of a litter box. Unfortunately for some of us, this is something about cats that we learn too late. We choose cats as pets because we want to love & care for them. Some of us learn that cats can have behavioral issues that can't be corrected and this is not something that can necessarily be anticipated. This is exactly why I will never be a cat owner again - because I learned that some cats pee in the house and that's not a risk that I'm willing to take. When it happened to me, my grandma lived on a farm and she offered to take my cat. It was a very painful decision, but I still got to visit him it both cat & grandma seemed happy with the choice.
I think that it's great that you have 6 cats, and again, I realize that this is a sensitive issue, but just because someone is not willing to live with a cat who urinates on the floor, walls, furniture, etc., does not make them a bad person or a bad pet owner for that matter.
My son had a play date friend over today and the friend has 3 cats. They live in a beautiful home that has been ruined by cat pee (IMO). You can smell it when you walk up on to the front porch (and I'm not exaggerating). The boy came to our home today to play and the minute he walked through the door, I could smell the odor - the cat pee smell was in his clothes. Sometimes, I think that cat owners become used to the smell (sensory adaptation) and they don't smell it anymore, but it is still very much present and can be extremely unpleasant to anyone not living in it. If that sort of thing is okay with some folks, that's fine, but some of us don't consider it a problem that we could live with.

 

[packrat]

I had to rehome Chucknorris out to my parents house. He's happier there, my house isn't a litterbox, and the cats aren't screeching and squalling night and day. Britta still doesn't like the other cats, and is starting to get meaner to Goose, but there's no worry now about cats killing each other. Chicken isn't allowed anywhere but the backyard and the kitchen, whether we're home or not b/c she is a pee-er. When the carpet is torn up and gone, that will probably change b/c I'm not putting carpet back down. Shoulda taken stock out in those stupid carpet cleaner soap things, we used so much of it, and *still* can't get the smell out 100% so I'm ordering some of that stuff linked above..It's not a hit you in the face smell when you walk in anymore, for which I'm happy, you have to know where the spots are and get down to smell the carpet, but still, it's icky.

I'd like to try that litter too-does anyone use it? The Almost Invisible litter? We just use a store brand clumping litter now.

It's a hard thing to deal with, and I understand the frustration. We've had to rehome twice, and it was agonizing, but when you're spending more on one animal than you're bringing home and it literally becomes well, the $150 we had set aside for groceries this week is going to the vet b/c they refuse to take payments and we can't drive two hours to the vet that *will* take payments...And it becomes oh we can't replace the bare tires on the car b/c the $700 we struggled for a year to save up went to the vet b/c the dog ate lawn furniture or got into the garage and ate shingle nails and needs surgery..(three times, no less) When you have to work for three weeks to pay off that bill, it's frustrating. And it's not made less upsetting when you're told that you are a vile piece of human garbage b/c you don't choose to live that way. And I do fully believe that London or Trapper is "worth" more than Clem or Britta or Goose or Opilio or Chicken. I do. It's one thing to love and cherish and adore your pets and do whatever is reasonable for them, it's another thing to exalt them to god like status that can do anything and it must be accepted. Would I buy a $4000 couch if I had a cat that clawed the heck out of my stuff and pooped/peed on everything? No. I wouldn't buy a $4000 couch even if it was just me living here. But when I have to scrimp and save to get a $300 couch and it's destroyed, that's upsetting. I refuse to live in a completely destroyed house.

Most of the time I think animals are better than people. Animals aren't abusing their children. Animals don't kill each other in the name of a religion. Animals don't do the disgusting shit humans do. Animals are more accepting of faults than humans are. Animals aren't judge-y and believe certain things are black and white. But, I also believe that as animal guardians, it's our duty to do right by them, and if our home is not a good fit for them after doing what is reasonable, it's our duty to find them the right home. Not shelter to be put down, a home. Sometimes it's better for an animal to live w/someone else, and sometimes it's better when people don't have pets. Or one pet. Or a different pet.

 

[Gypsy]

FYI. A Grade Marine Sealant is used on BOATS that are wooden. When properly applied to wood it makes it completely waterproof.

If you are not getting pre-finished hardwood floors, that can be a solution for you to discuss with your contractor.

 

[packrat]

Can you use it indoors? That's a good solution for the floors if you can.

 

[NOYFB]

Did I miss the part about the OP installing hardwood floors? I've had hardwood floors for the past 18 years and none of my cats have ever urinated on them. I'm

 

[Clairitek]

Lil Misfit, she mentioned the floors costing the same as a year of salary to purchase. I think we're all assuming she's getting hardwood based on that.

 

[Gypsy]

Can you use it indoors? That's a good solution for the floors if you can.

According to HGTV's Property Brothers you can. It's now on my list of flooring options: unfinished hardwood (oak or hickory for me) stained, and sealed with Marine grade A sealant.