Being a brat… VENT!

[Amys Bling]

I'd avoid sharing too many details of your wedding and honeymoon plans with her- unless you want her to try and upstage you or steal your thunder with those things too. Sucks that you now feel like you have to be vague and distant with someone you thought was a best friend...

 

[Ravenne]

Your ring is fabulous!! Wowza!

She definitely sounds like someone to keep at a distance. But it seems like you got it all covered. Don't let her insecurities make all the pre-engagement excitement go sour. Congratulations!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Re: Being a brat… VENT! WITH EYE CANDY!

I'd avoid sharing too many details of your wedding and honeymoon plans with her- unless you want her to try and upstage you or steal your thunder with those things too. Sucks that you now feel like you have to be vague and distant with someone you thought was a best friend...

Amy, I was thinking that as well. I have already shared with her my ideas for our wedding so that's annoying. But we will be keeping those ideas because they mean a lot to us. If she takes the location and other ideas the joke would be on her because they would mean nothing to them. It does suck! Thanks for listening to me vent!

 

[decodelighted]

Popping back in to say - because I forgot to earlier - that you ring is TOTALLY LOVELY. A unique showstopper. And will be the PERFECT companion to a double ring drinks celebration in the future!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Your ring is fabulous!! Wowza!

She definitely sounds like someone to keep at a distance. But it seems like you got it all covered. Don't let her insecurities make all the pre-engagement excitement go sour. Congratulations!

Thanks!! I will try hard not to let her spoil this exciting time! I think I will postpone any run-ins with her...

 

[antiquesparkler]

Popping back in to say - because I forgot to earlier - that you ring is TOTALLY LOVELY. A unique showstopper. And will be the PERFECT companion to a double ring drinks celebration in the future!

Deco, Thanks so much! And thanks for making me giggle uncontrollably at work. I needed that!

 

[tammy77]

She has to be either delusional or just got liw lapse of common decency. It's very obvious from the pics you shared that she has to also be jealous because your ring compared to a .5 princess cut that's probably from a maul store that was likely purchased in haste to "win" a race to engagement and wedding date announcment? Puleaze!

I am sorry that you're hurting about being blind sided by someone you thought was your best friend though, that stinks. I do wonder if it's salvageable and clearing the air would be worth it. Idk really, just seems sad. Now if you know her well enough to know it could t be a matter of miscommunication or if there had been a pattern of things like this over the years then I'd cut ties too.

Sorry my post is so scattered, hope it makes sense!

 

[antiquesparkler]

She has to be either delusional or just got liw lapse of common decency. It's very obvious from the pics you shared that she has to also be jealous because your ring compared to a .5 princess cut that's probably from a maul store that was likely purchased in haste to "win" a race to engagement and wedding date announcment? Puleaze!

I am sorry that you're hurting about being blind sided by someone you thought was your best friend though, that stinks. I do wonder if it's salvageable and clearing the air would be worth it. Idk really, just seems sad. Now if you know her well enough to know it could t be a matter of miscommunication or if there had been a pattern of things like this over the years then I'd cut ties too.

Sorry my post is so scattered, hope it makes sense!

Tammy, Puhhlease! hehe. Thank you for your kind words!

It feels like she meant it to be a race to claiming that summer. I guess I would have expected her to let me know when we had that conversation that she also planned on getting married that summer and maybe we could cordinate our weddings(one in the beginning one at the end of summer?). It would have been no big deal- I have no problem sharing (I guess??? ) a summer with her. Anyway, there were better ways to go about it and you are exactly right, I am just hurting from being blindsided. I also wonder if saying something would help. I sort of feel like that would just come across as jealous? I would need to be very careful about how it was worded. I was thinking last night of saying something like, "I was a little suprised to hear you guys were planning on getting married around the same time *T* and I were planning on." I think I could tell right away by her reaction if it was genuine or mean. If she said something like, 'Oh it just worked out best for us becasue of "legitimate reasons." I'm afraid it might be a total freak out.

Yikes.

I will keep you all posted!

 

[AmeliaG]

Um, you either care about her getting married the same summer as you or you don't. I can't imagine really not caring whether her wedding is that summer and then telling her you were blindsided by her date. If you really don't care about the date, how could she blindside you?

I'd save my anger at confronting her about the nasty things she said about my ring. That's simply NOT acceptable in any way, shape or form in my book. That would put me on the warpath.

 

[madelise]

She's a dick, yes.


But you're not yet engaged. You can't go claiming dates, or seasons. Confronting her would be just as tacky as anything she has done. In fact, even if you are engaged, you can't go claiming seasons! It doesn't matter what her reason is for getting married next summer. It doesn't matter how close or distant friends you two are. You can't claim seasons all for yourself, and you definitely can't claim a date if it hasn't been announced yet with Save the Dates or Invitations. Heck, even if you did announce the date, she can still host her wedding on the same date if she wishes to. It's also "her" day. You just wouldn't be able to attend her event, and she wouldn't be able to attend yours.

I'd stop being friends with this person just because of how shady of a character she is with her rude comments and competitive nature. Not because of her date/season claiming.

 

[partgypsy]

Your ring is gorgeous. I wouldn't change a thing about it

 

[antiquesparkler]

Um, you either care about her getting married the same summer as you or you don't. I can't imagine really not caring whether her wedding is that summer and then telling her you were blindsided by her date. If you really don't care about the date, how could she blindside you?

I'd save my anger at confronting her about the nasty things she said about my ring. That's simply NOT acceptable in any way, shape or form in my book. That would put me on the warpath.

True. I dont care about sharing a wedding season... month... whatever it would end up being... with her. I care becasue I feel like this is not 'true friend' behavior and that's why I feel blindsided.

I agree, I will probably just keep my mouth shut because I hate confrontation.

 

[antiquesparkler]

She's a dick, yes.


But you're not yet engaged. You can't go claiming dates, or seasons. Confronting her would be just as tacky as anything she has done. In fact, even if you are engaged, you can't go claiming seasons! It doesn't matter what her reason is for getting married next summer. It doesn't matter how close or distant friends you two are. You can't claim seasons all for yourself, and you definitely can't claim a date if it hasn't been announced yet with Save the Dates or Invitations. Heck, even if you did announce the date, she can still host her wedding on the same date if she wishes to. It's also "her" day. You just wouldn't be able to attend her event, and she wouldn't be able to attend yours.

I'd stop being friends with this person just because of how shady of a character she is with her rude comments and competitive nature. Not because of her date/season claiming.

You are exactly right. I am not engaged yet and I am not trying to claim a date or a season. As I said, I could care less if her wedding was the week before mine. It doesn't matter. It sucks for our out of town friends. She just went about this in a really shady, crappy way. That's all I am saying.

I will be taking the high road and not saying anything. Just giggling to myself when she talks about getting an upgrade.

Keepin' it classy. Thanks Madelise!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Your ring is gorgeous. I wouldn't change a thing about it

Thank you Part Gypsy!

 

[AmeliaG]

Hmm, I guess I explained myself badly. I was thinking the same thing as Tammy. It could just be the wedding bitchies but if she's a good friend, it may do good to talk to her. I was just thinking it would sound lame to complain about the date if you really didn't care about that but I definitely thought her comments about your ring were hurtful enough to bring up with her.

On second thought if you do care about out of town friends not being able to make both weddings, maybe you could initiate conversations about coordinating the dates.

Whatever your beef with her, if you want to keep her as a friend, I wouldn't clam up but pick out what really bugs you and figure out how to bring it up.

 

[Enerchi]

Here's something to think about, its a phrase I really like and often applies in these situations - only you know what's best for you.

"sometimes people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime"

Life is short - people who bring you down have no place in your life. People who build you up and make you feel wonderful, you want to hang onto those people for the long haul!!!

 

[madelise]

She's a dick, yes.


But you're not yet engaged. You can't go claiming dates, or seasons. Confronting her would be just as tacky as anything she has done. In fact, even if you are engaged, you can't go claiming seasons! It doesn't matter what her reason is for getting married next summer. It doesn't matter how close or distant friends you two are. You can't claim seasons all for yourself, and you definitely can't claim a date if it hasn't been announced yet with Save the Dates or Invitations. Heck, even if you did announce the date, she can still host her wedding on the same date if she wishes to. It's also "her" day. You just wouldn't be able to attend her event, and she wouldn't be able to attend yours.

I'd stop being friends with this person just because of how shady of a character she is with her rude comments and competitive nature. Not because of her date/season claiming.

You are exactly right. I am not engaged yet and I am not trying to claim a date or a season. As I said, I could care less if her wedding was the week before mine. It doesn't matter. It sucks for our out of town friends. She just went about this in a really shady, crappy way. That's all I am saying.

I will be taking the high road and not saying anything. Just giggling to myself when she talks about getting an upgrade.

Keepin' it classy. Thanks Madelise!

Atta gal. When she talks about her upgrade, you can totally do the passive aggressive, "I'm sorry your engagement ring wasn't all that you wanted. I'm so lucky I'm getting EXACTLY what I want" thing, too. You know, since she did get rude about yours

 

[antiquesparkler]

Hmm, I guess I explained myself badly. I was thinking the same thing as Tammy. It could just be the wedding bitchies but if she's a good friend, it may do good to talk to her. I was just thinking it would sound lame to complain about the date if you really didn't care about that but I definitely thought her comments about your ring were hurtful enough to bring up with her.

On second thought if you do care about out of town friends not being able to make both weddings, maybe you could initiate conversations about coordinating the dates.

Whatever your beef with her, if you want to keep her as a friend, I wouldn't clam up but pick out what really bugs you and figure out how to bring it up.

I totally understand. I am having a hard time explaining what I mean as well. No worries!

Yeah, I guess I am not sure what to bring up with her at this point. I think I need to let the dust settle a little and maybe just figure out if she is someone I can see being friends with in 5 years.

We do have a quite a few of the same friends that are out of state. It would be nice if they didnt have to travel twice in the same month... but I need to wait for a proposal before I start negotiaing dates.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Here's something to think about, its a phrase I really like and often applies in these situations - only you know what's best for you.

"sometimes people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime"

Life is short - people who bring you down have no place in your life. People who build you up and make you feel wonderful, you want to hang onto those people for the long haul!!!

I love that quote. I keep quotes on my fridge and I just made a sticky so I could put that one up.

This makes total sense. Thank you!!

 

[antiquesparkler]

She's a dick, yes.


But you're not yet engaged. You can't go claiming dates, or seasons. Confronting her would be just as tacky as anything she has done. In fact, even if you are engaged, you can't go claiming seasons! It doesn't matter what her reason is for getting married next summer. It doesn't matter how close or distant friends you two are. You can't claim seasons all for yourself, and you definitely can't claim a date if it hasn't been announced yet with Save the Dates or Invitations. Heck, even if you did announce the date, she can still host her wedding on the same date if she wishes to. It's also "her" day. You just wouldn't be able to attend her event, and she wouldn't be able to attend yours.

I'd stop being friends with this person just because of how shady of a character she is with her rude comments and competitive nature. Not because of her date/season claiming.

You are exactly right. I am not engaged yet and I am not trying to claim a date or a season. As I said, I could care less if her wedding was the week before mine. It doesn't matter. It sucks for our out of town friends. She just went about this in a really shady, crappy way. That's all I am saying.

I will be taking the high road and not saying anything. Just giggling to myself when she talks about getting an upgrade.

Keepin' it classy. Thanks Madelise!

Atta gal. When she talks about her upgrade, you can totally do the passive aggressive, "I'm sorry your engagement ring wasn't all that you wanted. I'm so lucky I'm getting EXACTLY what I want" thing, too. You know, since she did get rude about yours

Love it! I am going to pull out, "I feel too sentimental about my original e-ring to get an upgrade- plus, its everything I ever wanted. I would never want anything larger than 1.4 carats...." hehehe. Yes, I am evil. I dont care.

 

[antiquesparkler]

By the way... I HANDED THE RING OVER LAST NIGHT! I went and picked it up and took a bunch of pictures and finally decided I could part with it.

I did mention that we needed to have it inspected in March to keep our warranty... Just saying.

He jokingly asked what would happen if he lost it... I told him that I had a really simple solution for that... I could just wear it....

 

[luvsdmb]

Hi, I am new to this site so forgive me if this is the second time I asked about your ring. It's very pretty, I really love it. I was wondering the details of it? Who designed it, maybe the item number. I am just asking because I would like to check it out and see what else is in the collection.
Thanks so much,
Brooke

 

[antiquesparkler]

Brooke, Welcome to the boards! I am fairly new as well.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Was there a reason she didn't come? Ugh. Thats a yucky situation but it sounds like she wasnt a very good friend anyway.

My diamond is an Old European Cut, L-M color but faces up fairly white... just warm (and picks up the color of its surroundings... ) It is a 1.38 but faces up more the size of a 1.2 or so. I got it from my Grandmother before she passed away.

The setting is from The Shane Company. I might get shunned here for that... BUT! after dealing with so many issues with the original setting I wanted to be able to have a lifetime warranty and have it inspected whenever I wanted.

Shaneco.com and the item number is 256193781. I also found some gorgeous ones on jamesallen.com with the engraving as well.

Hope that helps!

 

[swingirl]

I haven't read all the posts but if they have only dated for 8 months and are planning a wedding 2 years away, I would put money on this not happening, especially if she is more interested in the competition of the wedding/ring details than in her relationship. I am guessing she pressured him into the engagement.

Your ring is lovely and perfect just the way it is. Your wedding date is between you and your man. No one has dibs on a year or season or date or colors or what not. I've never understood why people share their wedding details if they want to be unique but from now on mum's the word.

 

[madelise]

YAY!!!

I also gave my SO a sorta offhanded "timeline"… you know.. cus if he doesn't propose within 30 days, I won't be able to get the setting "adjusted" if I don't like anything! hehehe.

I hope he proposes sooner than later, AntiqueSparkler!!!!! Cus we need more photos of that thing!

 

[antiquesparkler]

I haven't read all the posts but if they have only dated for 8 months and are planning a wedding 2 years away, I would put money on this not happening, especially if she is more interested in the competition of the wedding/ring details than in her relationship. I am guessing she pressured him into the engagement.

Your ring is lovely and perfect just the way it is. Your wedding date is between you and your man. No one has dibs on a year or season or date or colors or what not. I've never understood why people share their wedding details if they want to be unique but from now on mum's the word.

Hi Swingirl! I know, right?! Maybe we should start putting money on a break up timeline? hehehe

Thank you! No details from here on out... that's what I have you guys for!

 

[antiquesparkler]

YAY!!!

I also gave my SO a sorta offhanded "timeline"… you know.. cus if he doesn't propose within 30 days, I won't be able to get the setting "adjusted" if I don't like anything! hehehe.

I hope he proposes sooner than later, AntiqueSparkler!!!!! Cus we need more photos of that thing!

OMG Madelise! I was stalking your ring and I CANNOT wait to see the finished product- I am sure it will be amazing!

But you do make a good point... what about adjustments? It's like they put these deadlines out there as a 'tool' for us ladies in waiting hehehe.

I hope he does too! Don't worry, you will get tons of pictures... and good ones too this time.

 

[Winks_Elf]

Your ring is just gorgeous!!!

Just out of curiosity..you've got the ring, you already know when you want to get married. What's the holdup on getting engaged? The engagement just means you've decided to get married. Why not let your intentions be known by wearing that gorgeous ring?

 

[antiquesparkler]

Your ring is just gorgeous!!!

Just out of curiosity..you've got the ring, you already know when you want to get married. What's the holdup on getting engaged? The engagement just means you've decided to get married. Why not let your intentions be known by wearing that gorgeous ring?

Thanks Wink! It is very important to boyfriend that he propose and he wants it to be a suprise. I am usually the planner in the relationship (as in I make the reservations, book our vacations, etc.) so he wants to do something special. Which I could not be more excited for!

Hopefully I will be able to wear it SOON!

 

[luvsdmb]

Hi,

As I am figuring out the site more and have been reading about everyone it takes me back. My husband and I went to the same high school but never knew each other. Three years after graduation I passed him coming out of a local store, with a mutual friend of ours. He was given my phone number but never called because he was so shy. So fast forward about ten years, a horrible abusive relationship two daughters and then finally a rebound relationship that lasted two years. And I finally decided to find out about him, which was super easy because of Facebook. He emailed me and we talked back and forth for a month just thru email then finally went on our first date on his birthday June 1, 2010. We where engaged in March 2011 and married July 17, 2011. And to add to the story had our son on June 1, 2012 which was already an important day but even more so now.
So I know how all of you ladies feel. Looking back I was probably a little passive aggressive with him about proposing....lol, and I wish now I would have just let it be and it would have happened without me thinking about it 24/7.
So finding this site now I sure wish I would have a long time ago! I will keep reading so I can hear from all of you about your proposals.
My friend was just proposed to on vacation, he had a stranger take a picture on the beach of them both and bam got down on one knee, so she has a picture of the real live moment.
I wish I could say my proposal was awesome, but it wasn't...it's a long kind of sad story that he would probably kill me for even telling. But all that matters is we are married and I love him soooo freaking much. We truly are soul mates. I just wish we would have met up in school, but I know things happen for a reason so it all has turned out the way it's meant to.

Brooke

p.s. I am however still dealing with my ring issue, it's not what I want even though I picked it out so that's still an ongoing drama, but
I think I am figuring it out.