Are you less tolerant of other children or more tolerant after you had your own?

[Kaleigh]

My issue is more with the parents than the kid. If the child is behaving badly, running around a restaurant or a store and the parents look the other way... I have a big problem with that. If I see parents dealing with the problem, I give them a wink and a smile.
Especially on planes, etc.. I know my son would have crying fits on planes, and I got the evill eye from other''s. I was like he''s baby... Give me a break.

Our kids did eat out with us and were well behaved. We got compliments all the time, your kids are so polite, you''ve done a great job. To me, I wanted my kids to enjoy what we do. Luckily they followed what we taught them, and had many fun dinners out when they were little. To them it was a special treat to go out, and behaved as such.

Were they perfect angels?? Nope. If they acted up, I took them home. Plain and simple.

 

[E B]

Like others have said, I'm much more tolerant of babies (though I was pretty tolerant to begin with) and less tolerant of unruly children. I've recently witnessed some pretty bad behavior from younger relatives. Just the other night I watched my husband's cousin, who's seven years old, repeatedly punch her mother in the arm because something her mother said embarrassed her. The mother said nothing. Earlier that day, I saw her hit her father, too, and again, nothing. That was surprising, and definitely not something I'll tolerate from my children.

Before our holiday flight several weeks ago, my son SCREAMED through security because he was hungry, but we were being ushered through the long lines and there wasn't much I could do. I lifted him into the air and back down until my arms were sore, and that seemed to work for a while, but if I stopped for a second, he'd scream again. I was so worried I'd get angry looks from everyone around me, but almost everyone I made eye contact with gave me a sympathetic smile or words of encouragement. I can't tell you how appreciative I was of each and every one.

 

[Dreamer_D]

About the same, I am not a very tolerant person of adults or children.

 

[miraclesrule]

Date: 12/29/2009 11:59:24 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
About the same, I am not a very tolerant person of adults or children.

I am much more tolerant of children than I am of adults who act like children. Not is a childlike way, but a childish way.

I was much more tolerant of other people''s children than I was my own daughter. I guess it was similiar to my former mentor who used to push me harder and seemed to critique me much more than any other employee. One day I called him on it and he told me "That is because you have potential, the others do not and are not worth my time". Nice save Mr. Boss...nice save.

I think no child is beyond redemption until I have given up on them....which I am loathe to do. I just have an affinity for kids....regardless of their parents.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I am more tolerant of babies now that I''m a mom than I was before. I''ve never been very tolerant of toddlers behaving badly though. To me it''s one thing if a toddler is causing trouble and the parent(s) is trying to do something about it and another if the parent turns the other cheek and ignores it.

DH and I have an almost 18-month old son who is a bit....spirited....so we know not to take him out to eat if he''s missed a nap or to go to the store if it''s a bit too close to bedtime or dinner. If DS throws a fit in the store we deal with it. Sometimes that means leaving and sometimes that means saying "no" over and over again. Luckily, DS is very social and generally likes to go out even if he''s tired or cranky.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I''m probably more tolerant at times. . .when a child begins crying or throwing a fit in the grocery store while the parent has a cart full of food, I feel empathy for them. What does the parent do? Immediately leave the store with the cart full of parishables left to go bad?

I''m less tolerable is when I''m out for an afternoon by myself, specifically to get a break from my kids (usually do this in the summer when I''m around them 24/7 and they''re beginning to test my patience), and I''m shopping in a place, such as Nordstrom, and a kid screams and the parent ignores this while continuing to shop. Once I was in t.b.d. and the mom kept browsing the racks while her kid cried for about 10 minutes. I was super annoyed!

Other places, like Target, are, IMO, okay for kids even when they throw a fit. I mean, we''re talking Target, here. Yes, the parent should leave, but if they still have a couple things to grab, who cares?

I have to admit I wasn''t perfect about controlling my kids in public, but one thing we never did was take them to a resturant and allow them to flip out while we kept eating. We made a decision, while the kids were young, to ALWAYS eat at noisy places, so our kids conversation would blend in. I actually was annoyed when we went to a VERY loud Mexican resturant where we *always* have to speak above normal volume to hear each other and there was a couple there giving us dirty looks because of our kids (who were speaking loudly - not acting out). It was Valentine''s day and I thought THEY made a poor choice in trying to have a romantic dinner in a hussle and bustle type of establishment known for having the strongest margaritas within a 50 mile radius and people having a bit more fun than a quiet venue!!!

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 12/31/2009 1:25:25 PM
Author: MC
I''m less tolerable is when I''m out for an afternoon by myself, specifically to get a break from my kids (usually do this in the summer when I''m around them 24/7 and they''re beginning to test my patience), and I''m shopping in a place, such as Nordstrom, and a kid screams and the parent ignores this while continuing to shop. Once I was in t.b.d. and the mom kept browsing the racks while her kid cried for about 10 minutes. I was super annoyed!

Oh yeah. I was in Banana Republic once and this mom had two toddlers who were fussy, bored, and running around. She took them into the dressing room, but it was small and apparently they were being annoying. So then she just left them outside the room while she tried stuff on! The poor sales person had to stand there and watch them to make sure they didn''t ruin anything, but obviously she couldn''t actually say anything to them. The whole time the mom is like "Hmmm, I''m not sure this one looks good on me. I think I should try it on in the blue." Grrrr. Shop online or at least bring someone along to look after the kids.

 

[janinegirly]

I think I''m more tolerant since I kind of get now that it isn''t always the parent..sometimes the child just needs to get the tantrum out! I still get annoyed, but just more understanding.

Still no tolerance for adults though..haha.

 

[Mara]

MC re: taking kids to a noisy venue to help them blend in more... we try to be more tolerant of places that are obviously super kid friendly and of families that are taking their kids out at like 5pm on a Sat for dinner. Obviously you are going to have way more families with kids eating earlier than romantic couple time and to me that's appropriate. BUT last wkd we went for an early burger at this bar/dive kind of place that is 1/2 price on Saturdays. It was 5pm and I figured there would be tons of kids. Which there were and that was fine. BUT there was this one table of all parents who had segregated the kids into another kid booth--so there were like 6 kids in this booth with no parent, and it sounded like a RIOT was breaking loose over there, 6 kids all trying to talk over each other and screaming. The sound carries in a loud place to make it even louder, we could not even carry on a convo across from each other in our area 3 booths down without having to almost yell. And the kids were kicking the booths which vibrated 3 booths down to us as well. EVERYONE was giving the parents and the kids the evil eye and the parents would half heartedly say things like 'stop it Jimmy' every few minutes.

On one hand I was like it was Saturday, 5pm, in a dive bar/burger joint, not a fancy restaurant. On the other hand, when you go out to eat and sit across from someone it would be nice if you didn't have to yell to carry on a basic convo and the parents were so mentally checked out, totally enjoying themselves and ignoring the booth of kids. I hope that I remember things like this when we are trying to determine to go out or stay in or get a babysitter etc after our own kid comes..!!

 

[steph72276]

I am more tolerant of babies. I am LESS tolerant of bad moms and dads.... I don't live around family anymore, so to go out to eat and a movie with just my hubby is a treat and we got to do that when his parents were down for Thanksgiving. We went to see New Moon at like 8pm, and in walks a couple with a baby and a 4-5 year old boy! It was late, the movie has some scary things in it, and then the boy talked and asked questions throughout the movie. I guess I was just irritated that we have to wait until almost every movie comes out on DVD b/c we're good parents and sacrifice those things for our children, and these people are just caring about their own wants, dragging their children to inappropriate movies. Also, I can't stand when parents just let their kids run wild at the park, not monitoring them. I had some huge chunky kid that kept pushing my child down and the mother was just playing on her phone and not paying attention until I finally told her to please tell her child to stop pushing the other children. Some people only care about themselves.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/31/2009 4:35:53 PM
Author: Mara
On one hand I was like it was Saturday, 5pm, in a dive bar/burger joint, not a fancy restaurant. On the other hand, when you go out to eat and sit across from someone it would be nice if you didn't have to yell to carry on a basic convo and the parents were so mentally checked out, totally enjoying themselves and ignoring the booth of kids. I hope that I remember things like this when we are trying to determine to go out or stay in or get a babysitter etc after our own kid comes..!!

Having kids sitting in their own booth, seperate from their parents, is absolutely insane. I do not think something like that is acceptable and the only time I've done that (that I can recall) was when two of my friends and their kids went to McDonald's and were in the play area. The kids quietly ate and then climbed into the tubes and then were noisy like all the other kids.

You'd have to be at the resturant I was speaking of to get an idea of the atmosphere and how crazy it is in there with the adults. Everyone we've taken there has had a fabulous time. Too bad for the V-day couple - if they had lightened up (had an extra margarita each!), they probably would have had a nice evening.

Now that our kids are older, my husband and I usually only go out when the kids are at their grandparent's. It's easier for us as we like to have a drink with dinner and there is a resturant that's right across from the movies so we can relax after our meal.

I still have never hired a babysitter to come to my house because I worry that something will get stolen. If I ever run into a jam, there are a few friends I can call

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/31/2009 4:47:09 PM
Author: steph72276
I am more tolerant of babies. I am LESS tolerant of bad moms and dads.... I don't live around family anymore, so to go out to eat and a movie with just my hubby is a treat and we got to do that when his parents were down for Thanksgiving. We went to see New Moon at like 8pm, and in walks a couple with a baby and a 4-5 year old boy! It was late, the movie has some scary things in it, and then the boy talked and asked questions throughout the movie. I guess I was just irritated that we have to wait until almost every movie comes out on DVD b/c we're good parents and sacrifice those things for our children, and these people are just caring about their own wants, dragging their children to inappropriate movies. Also, I can't stand when parents just let their kids run wild at the park, not monitoring them. I had some huge chunky kid that kept pushing my child down and the mother was just playing on her phone and not paying attention until I finally told her to please tell her child to stop pushing the other children. Some people only care about themselves.

Yes, THE PARK! That is a huge one for me. Parents gabbing away while child runs off. What drives me even more crazy - and this has happened a few times - is where the child comes up, says something to me, and then CLINGS onto *me* and won't go away. I'm thinking where the heck is this kid's parent and aren't they noticing their kid is following me around talking to me???

Once when my kids were in an inside play area and a little boy kept throwing plastic balls at my son and the mom is text messaging away, stops, looks over at her son and tells him that he shouldn't play with my son because he's a brat! I was so annoyed that I confronted her saying watch your kid and quit text messaging. She smurked and went back to her phone and her kid kept interacting with my son