Anyone else feel intimidated to jewelry-shop in person?

[musey]

I think the internet has ruined me for shopping. I can kill an hour any day of the week browsing for wedding bands online (mostly at Pearlman's), but I seem to have developed a complex about shopping in person.

I've done it very little in my life, but the few times I've gone in I feel self-conscious--as though I don't belong in a jewelry store. Like the clerks will think I'm wasting their time. Maybe it's because I'm young and very much a jeans-and-flip-flops girl, or because I know I'm not "looking to buy" yet... and I hate that annoyed look that the salespeople get when you don't say "I'll take it!" after looking at a piece.

Sometimes I wear only my best jewelry so they will take me more seriously.

I'm even guilty of dressing myself up like I'm on my way to a job interview if I know I'll be stopping to jewelry-shop!!

It's a COMPLETELY silly thing that I was barely conscious of, until FI pointed out recently that I had resisted wedding band shopping until he asked on a day that I was already dressed and made up very well after an appearance that morning.


Anyone else feel self-conscious when browsing in a jewelry store?

 

[gwendolyn]

I''ve noticed it too! Some stores'' salespeople seem to go out of their way to look down on me if I don''t have at least ten grand in my back pocket to burn that day. Ticks me right off...

 

[lsyama]

You described exactly how I feel!

I''m pretty intimidated going into any jewelry store where I have to ask someone to see an item.
And I almost feel guilty when I don''t buy anything.

Several years ago, I went ring shopping and the salesperson asked my age. When I told her 23, she said "Oh wow, I thought you were in high school!" Ahk! I felt so out of place!

 

[wolftress]

I feel the same way... I''ve noticed some salespeople will even ignore me if I''m wearing shorts and look too casual. Surprisingly though, even if I look casual and I''m with DH, salespeople will flock to us because they think DH will buy me jewellery! And it''s not even like he''s always well-dressed. He''s usually just in jeans and a t-shirt when we''re out shopping.

I''ve impulse-bought some items because I felt so embarassed about making salespeople show me things.

 

[TravelingGal]

No...probably because even though I''m a flip flop and jeans gal myself, I''m 34 and don''t think I look 22...as much as I like to think I do.

I always tell them I''m just looking and not buying, but if it''s slow and they wouldn''t mind showing me things, I''d love to take a closer look. I''ve never had anyone be annoyed about it. If it''s slow, they want to make time fly just like anyone else. If it really is busy, I try to be courteous and not take their time away from a potential sale...but that''s just the ex-retail saleswoman in me.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I hate all situations where someone is trying to pressure me into buying something I don''t really want! That''s why online is so wonderful! I am a little intimidated when asking to try on rings at Tiffany''s, but they were really nice when I did.

 

[snlee]

Date: 9/4/2007 8:44:21 PM
Author:musey
I think the internet has ruined me for shopping. I can kill an hour any day of the week browsing for wedding bands online (mostly at Pearlman's), but I seem to have developed a complex about shopping in person.

I've done it very little in my life, but the few times I've gone in I feel self-conscious--as though I don't belong in a jewelry store. Like the clerks will think I'm wasting their time. Maybe it's because I'm young and very much a jeans-and-flip-flops girl, or because I know I'm not 'looking to buy' yet... and I hate that annoyed look that the salespeople get when you don't say 'I'll take it!' after looking at a piece.

You just described exactly how I feel! That's a huge reason why I LOVE PS get-togethers because I don't feel shy about browsing in high end jewelry stores with no plans to buy. Maybe as I get older I will come out of my shell.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 9/4/2007 9:43:31 PM
Author: snlee

Date: 9/4/2007 8:44:21 PM
Author:musey
I think the internet has ruined me for shopping. I can kill an hour any day of the week browsing for wedding bands online (mostly at Pearlman''s), but I seem to have developed a complex about shopping in person.

I''ve done it very little in my life, but the few times I''ve gone in I feel self-conscious--as though I don''t belong in a jewelry store. Like the clerks will think I''m wasting their time. Maybe it''s because I''m young and very much a jeans-and-flip-flops girl, or because I know I''m not ''looking to buy'' yet... and I hate that annoyed look that the salespeople get when you don''t say ''I''ll take it!'' after looking at a piece.

You just described exactly how I feel! That''s a huge reason why I LOVE PS get-togethers because I don''t feel shy about browsing in high end jewelry stores with no plans to buy. Maybe as I get older I will come out of my shell.

You guys all backed away and sent me in first at Cartier. LOL. I''m not shy. I think I *might* be at graff or Fred Leighton. But at Tiffany or Cartier or anything like that? Nope. Still I can understand the feeling.

 

[Kaleigh]

I come from the other perspective. Having been on the other side of the counter, I tell them politely that I am just looking and will let them know if there is anything I want to see. Works like a charm!!!

 

[diamondfan]

I never really think about it. Maybe because I have been in these same stores now for a while and people know me. If it is a new place, even in my jeans and no makeup, I do not worry too much. I guess because part of knows I CAN buy whatever, so even if I am not in a buying mood or I am just getting ideas, honestly, I do not worry what any SA might think. I just go about my business.

 

[iheartscience]

Yeah, I don''t worry about it too much either. I don''t really look in jewelry stores much anymore now that I have my e-ring but before when I was looking for e-ring ideas I asked them to try on whatever I wanted. I just told them I was shopping for engagement rings and went at it! It was true, I was, and if I had found a great deal I wouldn''t have hesitated going with a B&M.

I''m pretty self-confident, though, so I don''t really get intimidated too often just in general. Plus I''ve worked retail and I know I don''t really get irritated with people just looking unless they would run me ragged and buy nothing. So if I am just looking I wouldn''t keep a salesperson from helping another customer-I''d just come back another time when it was slower.

 

[luckystar112]

Same thing here Musey...right down to the dressing up just to walk in the door.

I remember when FI and I went to look at rings for the first time at Robbins Bros (pre-pricescope, obviously). I made him dress up and he was NOT amused. lol. I think it was because I was 23 and wanted to be taken seriously.

But when I went to zales a couple of weeks ago I made sure I was dressed up too. ZALES. And I obviously had no intention of buying. lol.

I also hate to be pressured by people when I''m out shopping. It has totally ruined the experience for me. I know I''m going to have to go to more jewelry stores to figure out what I like for a wedding band and I am DREADING it so bad. That first time at Robbin''s bros really just blew me away. They took FI in a back room and tried to pressure him into buying the stone right then when we had told him a million times that we weren''t interested.

I HATE that feeling. I got pressured at Zales too. She wanted me to buy a created garnet hunk of junk ring.

 

[surfgirl]

Do I feel intimidated to browse a jewelry shop in person? Hell the the No! I love it. As long as it''s a good quality joint, y''know what I mean? I found it interesting that when we were in Vegas last year, there was nobody in the Graff boutique but a lot of people would gawk in front of the display windows. I sort of felt bad for the salepeople because they looked really bored. So I said to Mr. Soon-To-Be-Surfgirl (though I didn''t know that at the time), "hey, I need to go in here, dont worry! It doesn''t mean anything, I''m just playing around, okay?" So he said okay and I just walked in there like I owned the place. You know what you''re doing honey, and you know way way more than most salespeople do...Just walk in, shorts be damned, and have fun! The folks at Graff were so nice to me and they let me try on rings no matter that I said I wasn''t buying yet but just starting to look and we looked at asschers and the woman actually insisted I try them on...Now I''m not 20, but I dont think I look 100 either.

I just think it''s all in how you carry yourself, in the attitude you exude. I go into places in SoCal all the time dressed in shorts and a tshirt. They''re used to it there. Just own your jewerly obsession and they''ll see you''re a potential customer and treat you right...! Trying on stuff is the best when you''ve no reason to!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

It doesn''t intimidate me at all. Salespeople are just folks working for their living, like most of their customers.

 

[ccuheartnurse]

Intimidated? No, not at all. My husband sometimes gets the jitters if I try to drag him into highend stores, & I just laugh at him. LOL I know I shouldnt, but I do. LOL I always remind him that they are salespeople & all they''re there to do is sell. They most likely have no previous experience, come in to fill an application, put on some nice clothes, paint on a smile, & whamo, are selling jewelery. No offense to those working in a jewelery store, as I understand this to be a gross generalization, but this generalization helps me keep my perspective that I''m the one spending my money, not them & if they want to see my money, they need to sell their product...hence...they are salespeople.

My husband laughs at my analogy but it gets him through the door.

He always makes a bee line for the watches though & leaves me high & dry in the rest of the store.

Then again, I dont have him peering over my shoulder giving me faces.

As for wearing my best jewelery, I actually take things off & put them into my pocket. That leaves as little assumption on their part & keeps em guessing. And if it keeps em guessing, that means they have to be on their toes all the time. If I know I''m specifically going out to look at jewelery, I''ll wear my plain gold band I wear to work.

LOL As soon as I get out of there, poof, I put on sparklies.

Bottom line, DO NOT feel small or intimidated to go into any store to browse. Salespeople are their to sell, they have a dress code & are supposed to look/act professional. Hell, they probably slip into their flip flops at the end of the day.

Judy

 

[VegasAngel]

No but I dont mind if sales clerks (In any store) ignore me because then I can shop/browse in peace

. There are things I do to SA''s that Do/Do not help me when I need it, though.

 

[DMBsGirl]

I agree to feeling the same way. I have wanted to go ring browsing forever, but am intimidated to do it on my own. Mostly because I look very young, and although i''m 27 people often think i''m a teenager and probably think I''m nowhere near being engagement age. Also, I''m afraid it will make seem pathetic for looking at engagement rings on my own. (*SIGH*) why do i care what people think? who knows???

 

[Nicrez]

Oddly I feel intimidated more when dressed up. Maybe because they suddenly push so hard to sell me something when I am usually just browsing at quality and settings or gemstone quality. I think dressing down a bit, you can just related that you are an enthusiast and they can either be more helpful in teaching you what they "know", or walk away leaving you more time to look.

Personally I hate the sales push. If you go to a fancier jewler, expect such treatment. As MB said, they are trying to make a living too, and although they can never tell who will spend what, we all can see that GENERALLY well dressed people can have more likelihood of buying more or larger priced items than the scruffy guy with the baseball cap and raggedy hoodie. Always in life there are exceptions, but we are conditioned to make rules in our minds, so we go on generalities... So I say, be yourselves, and enjoy the browsing!

 

[musey]

Nicrez, maybe next time I go I should dress down. I''ve been dressing up so as to avoid the dismissive attitudes, but maybe it''s backfiring!

It''s that "HMPH" attitude I''ve gotten in the past that keeps me from going back. Especially with wedding bands, ideally, I''d love to go into a hundred stores and try on a hundred different rings. The more I go in, try on, and leave without a purchase, the more I notice their disappointment or annoyance in my not purchasing.

I should really just ignore the huffy sales people and comparison-shop to my heart''s delight like most everyone else

It''s tough though. I haven''t grown out of my "oh no, I hope they aren''t upset at me!" stage in life yet. Silly 22-year-old girl

 

[gwendolyn]

The first time I went into a nicer-than-a-regular-mall jewelry store, there was almost NO one in there, and the dude behind the counter was still super snotty to me, as if he wasn''t allowed to talk to me if I hadn''t made an appointment first. He rolled his eyes at me, gave me short answers, seemed to get more peeved that I had some idea what he was talking about, and then finally said to my friend and I, "Come back with the men." What?! So rude. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I look like I''m a freshman in college to a lot of people (I''m 29), but still, I was asking educated questions and do a lot of research before I buy anything, but that''s doubly true for diamonds!! Sheesh...

 

[decodelighted]

I was in a very nice jewelry store recently (owned by a PS fave actually -- I was "undercover" on vaca in the Berkshires

) and I witnessed the most hysterical & yet annoying "showboating" of a customer EVAH. This one rather beefy lady was monopolizing the entire store & the main staff person with her search for the perfect necklace ... trying on the same few over and over and over and over and over again ... all to the sweet sounds of her OWN VOICE as she rhapsodized over every nuance and how GORGEOUS they all looked (on HER of course) and saying things like "Well this one is three THOUSAND dollars more but that''s not really an ISSUE at ALL ... I mean maybe it is for SOME PEOPLE"

*vomit a little in my mouth*

. She was physically dominating the boutique with her parading and gesturing etc .. My friend and I DUCKED once to avoid her sweeping arm movements and had to ask her to move in order to see some things my friend was eyeing because she was OBLIVIOUS to anyone but sales clerk who was at least pretending to care.

I know what you mean about "bothering" salesfolks though ... I know I used to feel that way and sometimes I get a fleeting sensation, even worrying how some stores are making ends meet? Or vendors at a craft fair ... what if they don''t get a sale today? But when I start to feel badly for them or guilty for not buying I talk some sense into myself by thinking "Hey .. are they really thinking ''gee I hope that girl isn''t getting into serious credit card debt buying my trinkets''"

Me no think so. As long as you''re not being an OUTRIGHT SHOP-TEASE or STORE-HOG like the fancy lady above ... keep your head high & your eyes on the prize(s).

 

[lyra]

LOL!! Shop-tease and Store-hog!

I''ve definitely seen those, never been one. I don''t waste anyone''s time in the store, although I get straight to the point when I am purchasing. I had a weird experience today. My husband and I were in the store asking about an appraisal and were dealing with one clerk. We concluded our business, and just stopped to look at the lovely estate jewellery on the way out. I swear this other clerk descended on us within 5 seconds of me pointing to a nice little Cartier watch. She disappeared just as quickly when my husband said we were just looking. Seriously, I almost jumped when she appeared!

I dress like a mom, or a vagrant sometimes, I rarely dress for anything unless I have to. Whatever, my money is still valid.

 

[diamondsrock]

I have to agree with the first post. Sometimes when I go to a store, I feel awkward, like they are expecting me to buy something. Also, I have very particular taste (thanks PS!) so most of the time I can''t find anything I am interested in. However, I do enjoy browsing just for the fun of it. I just hate that feeling like I should buy something because I am taking up their time. Most of the salespeople I have encountered have been friendly enough, and I always say that I''m just browsing at the beginning so as not to have them follow me around.
What really bugs me is when the salesperson tries to sell me something that they know nothing about. I had a guy (who I think owned the store?) tell me a few months ago that all of his blue diamond rings were natural colored

Hello, if they weren''t irradiated, they''d be so expensive they''d be behind lock and key in a safe. I just said, are you sure they aren''t treated for that color, and he said no, diamonds come in all different colors. I just rolled my eyes and left. Kind of upsetting that he''s telling customers that, but honestly, maybe he''s really that uninformed and thinks it himself? Could it be that I know more than a jeweler? Lol! I knew he was wrong but didn''t want to argue.

 

[lumpkin]

If I want to go in and look I just go in and look. I usually do a quick walk through to see if there''s anything interesting. If there is I''ll tell them I''m shopping but not ready to buy and that I''d like to look at whatever it is. I don''t do that if the store is busy, but if it isn''t, I don''t feel bad at all. Most clerks like to talk to people and feel like they are doing something besides waiting for the day to end.

There are a few stores I feel uncomfortable in, so I just don''t go to them. Other stores are great to browse in. Sometimes the ones I think are going to be snooty have the nicest sales staff. We have a store called Tivol here in KC. I don''t live near it, but I was running errands and was in that part of town one day. I had on jeans and a knit top, hair up, no makeup, but I decided to go in anyway because I had always wanted to check it out. ALL of the clients must have been schlepping that day, because they were dressed like me. The nicest salesman came over and showed me a bunch of things. They had an antique OEC in the case and we discussed the cape color for 10 minutes. He cleaned my ring and we had a nice chat. It''s a high end store, so I fully expected to be snubbed but was pleasantly surprised.

 

[Phoenix]

Intimidated?! Hell, no!! LOL!!

If I want to look at diamonds, noone can stop me!

. I recently went to several big brand stores, ie. Graff, HW, Cartier, etc. and tried on dozens and dozens of rings, and guess this, I was dressed in jeans!! Everyone was super-friendly, super-nice!! I couldn''t have asked for better service. Didn''t buy a thing but that didn''t stop me!

I think it''s to do with your attitude. I love diamonds so much that over the years, I''ve developed this attitude that''s turned me into this person that must look like i could afford rings worth hundreds of thousands (sometimes millions) of dollars. I must look very convincing in these stores!!

I must say I''ve never bought anything online though I''ve browsed plenty. Nothing is more satisfying or gratifying than looking at diamonds IRL!!

I wouldn''t personally buy anything until I''ve actuallly seen it in person (and this applies to everything, not just diamonds). I know plenty of people have bought onlline, successfully, sight unseen, but not me. Maybe I am just old fashioned! LOL.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 9/5/2007 10:25:35 AM
Author: VegasAngel
No but I dont mind if sales clerks (In any store) ignore me because then I can shop/browse in peace

. There are things I do to SA's that Do/Do not help me when I need it, though.

Haha... that's definitely me too. I've become adept at the polite smile and "Just looking right now, but I'll let you know if there's something I'd like to see." My dad's businesses are retail so I've grown up with a "customer is always right" mentality, and I guess that carries over to when I'M a customer too.

Some SAs are just downright rude though, no question! And I like to think it's my age, but like TG said.... I'm 28 and honestly, probably look 28. I used to get the "wow, you look like you're in high school!" comments a lot, but it recently occurred to me that just because some people think I look 16, doesn't mean other people don't think I look 40. It's just not as socially acceptable to say "wow, you look like a middle-aged mother of 3!"

So maybe all of us "young-looking" folks aren't quite the anomalies we think we are. Which means more self-confidence in the jewelry stores!

 

[Nicrez]

Musey...Perhaps it''s the same principle as with sharks...they can smell fear...

I say that often times, when you go in, never feel threatened or intimidated by ANYONE, especially as a customer. What stands out is body language, not always clothes. I say this because seeing some people at Christies some you can tell are in their finery, so as to look like they blend in, and then there are those who look average, but came because they are serious buyers and behave as such. Real buyers are descriminating in general, so they usually know what they want. If it''s not in the store, they go away.

I say go into the stores with a honest attitude of I am an interested potential buyer. Be confident that you BELONG there, as you do. The store exists FOR YOU. As a buyer you have UTMOST control. And if you get an attitude, think, "well, looks like this poor sales person will go hungry..." And don''t feel bad that you are taking time and not giving them a sale. It''s their job. They have to put out the corporate image as much as sell, so if they are not upholding a good customer service to ALL buyers, that''s their issue, but a good manager can see that, and you would then be helping them look good in front of their team and leaders... Dealing with non-buyers is the equivalent to busy work we all do that doesn''t generate sales or salary but has to be done... c''est la vie.

So ditch the age issue, or the wardrobe issue...Go out there and get ''em tiger!

 

[Allisonfaye]

Date: 9/6/2007 10:17:58 AM
Author: Nicrez
Musey...Perhaps it''s the same principle as with sharks...they can smell fear...

I say that often times, when you go in, never feel threatened or intimidated by ANYONE, especially as a customer. What stands out is body language, not always clothes. I say this because seeing some people at Christies some you can tell are in their finery, so as to look like they blend in, and then there are those who look average, but came because they are serious buyers and behave as such. Real buyers are descriminating in general, so they usually know what they want. If it''s not in the store, they go away.

I say go into the stores with a honest attitude of I am an interested potential buyer. Be confident that you BELONG there, as you do. The store exists FOR YOU. As a buyer you have UTMOST control. And if you get an attitude, think, ''well, looks like this poor sales person will go hungry...'' And don''t feel bad that you are taking time and not giving them a sale. It''s their job. They have to put out the corporate image as much as sell, so if they are not upholding a good customer service to ALL buyers, that''s their issue, but a good manager can see that, and you would then be helping them look good in front of their team and leaders... Dealing with non-buyers is the equivalent to busy work we all do that doesn''t generate sales or salary but has to be done... c''est la vie.

So ditch the age issue, or the wardrobe issue...Go out there and get ''em tiger!

I agree with this 100%. I never used to go into the high end stores and now I go into all of them if I am passing by. I occasionally ask to try something on and many times they offer to let me so I do. I do plan to upgrade in a few years and so I am doing research now for what I will pick. And when I do buy, I won''t shop in the store with the snobby SA''s. In fact, the guy at Kaufmann de Suisse is SO nice to me, I would put him high on the list of contenders.

 

[Pandora II]

I am so like this.

It doesn''t help that I look a lot younger than 35 so people always take me less seriously than say my younger sister who looks much older than me.

When I was at college we had to do a lot of research in high-end fashion shops so I used to dress up and then go to Armani and buy their catalogue for £2 just so I had the carrier bag! How sad is that?

I''m still very intimidated by high-end jewellers and for some reason make-up counters. I''m not so bad if I''m with other people, but I tend to like to shop alone a lot.

 

[Miranda]

I look really young, too. The only place I''ve had any problem with is the Bailey, Banks and Biddle store in the South Coast Plaza. They are so rude there. Even when the store is empty, nobody steps up to help...

Whatever!

I don''t really ever feel intimidated, though. I''ve had very interested helpful salespeople at Tiffany''s and Cartier mostly. I even told the salesman at Tiffany''s that I was just browsing and had no intention of buying anything. He said that was fine and he''d show me anything. So we played with some big stones. I think many salespeople are smart enough to keep in mind that even if you don''t buy anything TODAY that doesn''t mean you won''t TOMORROW.

It''s the ignorant salespeople that drive me nutty. It is so irritating when I know more than they do.