Phoenix my thoughts are that I hope they are both in counseling to deal with this and while it is helpful to redirect negative behavior into a positive one (i.e. working out and eating healthfully) it needs to be on a sustainable basis. I cannot say if they can continue living to the extreme and it does sound like their behavior is extreme one way or another. That usually is not sustainable.
Sounds like your friend is a functional alcoholic and if he has been drinking to excess like this I would be concerned about his liver and his kidneys and his way of coping in general. Hope he and your friend can get the professional help necessary to turn their lives around for the better.
I guess I am asking bc I feel like maybe I am not giving my friend the benefit of the doubt.
I know of one man who changed like that; of course, this is just proof of possibility & no more ...
I guess I am asking bc I feel like maybe I am not giving my friend the benefit of the doubt.
Truth!The problem with alcohol addiction is that you never “get over it”. It is usually a life long effort to stay clean and/ or sober. In a perfect world you would think “surely he / she can still socialize with alcohol and just have 2 or 3 drinks!”. Sadly, usually not possible. Total abstinence is required. Some people have compulsive, obsessive behaviors and everything tends to be to the extreme. Your friend seems to have exchanged one “excessive behavior” with another. Not healthy. Your friend would benefit from some counseling. But that is a step they have to decide to take themselves. As a friend you can only be supportive and suggestive and step back if their behavior is impacting upon you personally. If your friend doesn’t “care enough” to take steps to improve his /her life, no one, not you, not a partner, not a mother, not a father can “care enough” on their behalf to make it ok.
Does she want to quit?
I hate to say that’s kind of how I feel. When I’m trying to lose weight I abstain from many social dinner outings because it goes against my goals. If your friend was trying to quit smoking and turned to jogging for the stress would you think that was unreasonable? I guess I wouldn’t poo-poo the strategy until they give you reason to believe it’s not working. Some former alcoholics are fine hanging out with drinkers in social settings, but many newly sober folks find the temptation too much.
The problem with alcohol addiction is that you never “get over it”. It is usually a life long effort to stay clean and/ or sober. In a perfect world you would think “surely he / she can still socialize with alcohol and just have 2 or 3 drinks!”. Sadly, usually not possible. Total abstinence is required. Some people have compulsive, obsessive behaviors and everything tends to be to the extreme. Your friend seems to have exchanged one “excessive behavior” with another. Not healthy. Your friend would benefit from some counseling. But that is a step they have to decide to take themselves. As a friend you can only be supportive and suggestive and step back if their behavior is impacting upon you personally. If your friend doesn’t “care enough” to take steps to improve his /her life, no one, not you, not a partner, not a mother, not a father can “care enough” on their behalf to make it ok.
Truth!
As you know from our conversations, @Phoenix , the only way my husband got over it was when he died.
Phoenix,
Everything @december-fire and Bron357 has stated is true.
Until your friend comes to the realization that she wants to make these changes for herself, she will more than likely fail. No amount of love and support you give a person will make a difference if they don't want it for themselves.
I wish I never had to know so much about this topic.
I agree with you!! Nobody can change, especially with something as hard as this, unless they truly want it for themselves. It is truly a lifestyle change. They NEED to want to be healthy for themselves and make this lifestyle change themselves, again for themselves and not for anyone else.
I wonder then if alcohol addiction is similar to cigarette addiction? My husband gave up smoking for over 10 years and in the past few years has relapsed; and is now a smoker again and just cannot quit (but anyway that's another topic altogether).