JenStone
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2006
- Messages
- 490
I haven''t been around much since I got engaged (
) because I''ve been so swamped with work lately. However, I have two issues I''d like some advice on....
(1) As I opened my inbox this morning, I found an email from my FI''s ex-girlfriend. She said she had heard that we were recently engaged and wanted to congratulate us. She asked me to relay to my FI her apologies for having acted the way she did at the end of their relationship (she also added that she only realizes now how much my FI had been hurt because she had recently been dumped too). She said she still hears about my FI and me because (get this) she hangs out with my FI''s brother''s group of friends sometimes.
There was nothing threatening or mean about her email at all - she congratulated us on our engagement numerous times. However, a couple of things bothered me about her email: the first, why is she asking me to relay her apologies to my FI? SHE was the one who broke his heart (she was his first love) and I was the one who had to pick up all the pieces...it took a long time for him to trust women in general again. Secondly, it bugs me a bit that she''s been hanging out with my FI''s brother''s group of friends...why didn''t he tell us? I''m sure he didn''t want to bring up any bad memories or make me feel uncomfortable, but this just feels....weird.
What would you do in this situation? Should I write her back? Just ignore the email?
(2) My FI and I had been looking to buy a condo for some time now. And we found a gorgeous one that''s within our price range. However, I''m still a bit reluctant...because it''s only 2 blocks from his brother''s condo!
Although his brother has been nothing but nice to me since day one, I don''t like him much because he can be quite a whiny, spoiled brat. My FI is actually quite protective of him, sometimes even bending to his wishes because he''s the older brother and he knows better (and should act more mature).
In addition, my FSIL is a bit of a frenemy. She''s super nice to me but once in a while I''m hit with a biting remark out of nowhere. And it always seems like she''s competing with me, trying to one up us.
My FI thinks the location of the condo is great because it has very quick and easy access to Manhattan (where we both work), and if he lives closer to his brother, they can become closer! Now I''m all for good family relations, but his brother puts a lot of stress on my FI and I''m scared that it will escalate if we live so close.
In addition, my FI says that when his parents visit from Hong Kong, they will be so happy to have both sons living so close to each other so they can walk over back and forth between the two apartments. When I told this to my mother, she warned that living too close may not be good because even if they don''t try, his parents will end up comparing us and our living situations/arrangement. And I tend to agree. The last time they visited was right after my FI''s brother had bought his condo. He had just furnished it with nice furniture, a 50" LCD TV, etc. When his parents came to visit us, they looked at our 32" regular TV and joked, "Wow that looks so small compared to your brother''s." They meant it as a joke, but it still stung.
But the apartment IS nice, and we haven''t been able to find anything comparable in the same price range.
What would you do? Keep looking for other apartments, or make an offer on this one?
(1) As I opened my inbox this morning, I found an email from my FI''s ex-girlfriend. She said she had heard that we were recently engaged and wanted to congratulate us. She asked me to relay to my FI her apologies for having acted the way she did at the end of their relationship (she also added that she only realizes now how much my FI had been hurt because she had recently been dumped too). She said she still hears about my FI and me because (get this) she hangs out with my FI''s brother''s group of friends sometimes.
There was nothing threatening or mean about her email at all - she congratulated us on our engagement numerous times. However, a couple of things bothered me about her email: the first, why is she asking me to relay her apologies to my FI? SHE was the one who broke his heart (she was his first love) and I was the one who had to pick up all the pieces...it took a long time for him to trust women in general again. Secondly, it bugs me a bit that she''s been hanging out with my FI''s brother''s group of friends...why didn''t he tell us? I''m sure he didn''t want to bring up any bad memories or make me feel uncomfortable, but this just feels....weird.
What would you do in this situation? Should I write her back? Just ignore the email?
(2) My FI and I had been looking to buy a condo for some time now. And we found a gorgeous one that''s within our price range. However, I''m still a bit reluctant...because it''s only 2 blocks from his brother''s condo!
Although his brother has been nothing but nice to me since day one, I don''t like him much because he can be quite a whiny, spoiled brat. My FI is actually quite protective of him, sometimes even bending to his wishes because he''s the older brother and he knows better (and should act more mature).
In addition, my FSIL is a bit of a frenemy. She''s super nice to me but once in a while I''m hit with a biting remark out of nowhere. And it always seems like she''s competing with me, trying to one up us.
My FI thinks the location of the condo is great because it has very quick and easy access to Manhattan (where we both work), and if he lives closer to his brother, they can become closer! Now I''m all for good family relations, but his brother puts a lot of stress on my FI and I''m scared that it will escalate if we live so close.
In addition, my FI says that when his parents visit from Hong Kong, they will be so happy to have both sons living so close to each other so they can walk over back and forth between the two apartments. When I told this to my mother, she warned that living too close may not be good because even if they don''t try, his parents will end up comparing us and our living situations/arrangement. And I tend to agree. The last time they visited was right after my FI''s brother had bought his condo. He had just furnished it with nice furniture, a 50" LCD TV, etc. When his parents came to visit us, they looked at our 32" regular TV and joked, "Wow that looks so small compared to your brother''s." They meant it as a joke, but it still stung.
But the apartment IS nice, and we haven''t been able to find anything comparable in the same price range.
What would you do? Keep looking for other apartments, or make an offer on this one?