Lilac
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- May 4, 2009
- Messages
- 1,926
I''m a little hesitant to post this because basically I''m not sure what I''m asking for. Maybe I just need to get it all out somehow.
Throughout high school I was friends with this girl (and I mean BEST friends - inseparable). We even spoke many times throughout senior year about how we were worried about losing touch after high school and we both agreed that we would never do that and she even said multiple times that I was her best friend and she needed me and would never stop being my friend and she hoped I would do the same.
Fast forward to end of senior year. School ends, we graduate. We spend the whole summer together. The last week of summer we spoke on the phone one night about how she was going to come the next morning by train to say goodbye to me because she was going away for 10 months to study in Israel. The conversation was great - neither of us were upset about anything, we were just as close as always. The next morning I try calling her to see what train she''ll be taking because I have to go pick her up. She doesn''t answer. I text. She doesn''t answer. Throughout the rest of the day and the following week I call, text, and email just trying to make sure she''s ok and nothing bad happened. I find out through a friend that she''s fine.
She never called me again. She left to Israel and about 3 months later I finally sent her an email saying that if she didn''t want to be friends anymore it''s fine (at that point I realized she was just a toxic person who used me as a friend when she needed me and then went to Israel and made new friends and couldn''t even give me the courtesy of a last phone call). In the email I explained that all I needed from her was a response - an explanation why this happened. Just so I could totally move on. Again - never heard from her but I know she received and read the email.
That was 3 years ago. Last summer I got an email from her saying she "didn''t know what happened" that summer (2 years before) and she had meant to email me the last 2 years but never got a chance
. She said if I wanted to meet her we could - I email back saying I was going away but I would be back 2 weeks later. She said she would be away then but she would get in touch with me when she got back. Again I never heard from her after that.
Recently the past few weeks I keep having these dreams about her. Especially last night I couldn''t stop dreaming about contacting her, talking to her, even being friends with her again. She treated me so badly and hurt me so deeply I don''t know why I keep having these dreams, but they won''t go away and every morning I wake up with this urge to email her or contact her somehow. I don''t know if it''s just that I miss her or that I hate disliking someone I used to be so close with or maybe I think she''s changed. I don''t know what to do - should I try emailing her? Would that make me feel any better?
If you got to the end of this - thank you. It kind of helps just getting it out (and I talk to my husband about it too, but he was around when everything happened and knows how badly she hurt me and thinks I should just stay away from her). Anyone have any advice - stay away or try and talk to her?
Throughout high school I was friends with this girl (and I mean BEST friends - inseparable). We even spoke many times throughout senior year about how we were worried about losing touch after high school and we both agreed that we would never do that and she even said multiple times that I was her best friend and she needed me and would never stop being my friend and she hoped I would do the same.
Fast forward to end of senior year. School ends, we graduate. We spend the whole summer together. The last week of summer we spoke on the phone one night about how she was going to come the next morning by train to say goodbye to me because she was going away for 10 months to study in Israel. The conversation was great - neither of us were upset about anything, we were just as close as always. The next morning I try calling her to see what train she''ll be taking because I have to go pick her up. She doesn''t answer. I text. She doesn''t answer. Throughout the rest of the day and the following week I call, text, and email just trying to make sure she''s ok and nothing bad happened. I find out through a friend that she''s fine.
She never called me again. She left to Israel and about 3 months later I finally sent her an email saying that if she didn''t want to be friends anymore it''s fine (at that point I realized she was just a toxic person who used me as a friend when she needed me and then went to Israel and made new friends and couldn''t even give me the courtesy of a last phone call). In the email I explained that all I needed from her was a response - an explanation why this happened. Just so I could totally move on. Again - never heard from her but I know she received and read the email.
That was 3 years ago. Last summer I got an email from her saying she "didn''t know what happened" that summer (2 years before) and she had meant to email me the last 2 years but never got a chance
Recently the past few weeks I keep having these dreams about her. Especially last night I couldn''t stop dreaming about contacting her, talking to her, even being friends with her again. She treated me so badly and hurt me so deeply I don''t know why I keep having these dreams, but they won''t go away and every morning I wake up with this urge to email her or contact her somehow. I don''t know if it''s just that I miss her or that I hate disliking someone I used to be so close with or maybe I think she''s changed. I don''t know what to do - should I try emailing her? Would that make me feel any better?
If you got to the end of this - thank you. It kind of helps just getting it out (and I talk to my husband about it too, but he was around when everything happened and knows how badly she hurt me and thinks I should just stay away from her). Anyone have any advice - stay away or try and talk to her?