Are you annoyed easily?

I am. For sure.
I think I''m going to have a heart attack before I''m 30. I just don''t know how to control it! It just seems like there are so many people lacking common sense out there.

For instance, around midnight last night my boyfriend and I were getting ready to leave a sports bar. It was actually BW3s for anyone that has one in the area. Anyway, so we are walking through the parking lot, and we see a car blocking us in our spot. There were like 3 adults and 2 very small children. The adults are all chatting it up. (Mind you, they aren''t in a parking SPOT, they are just in the middle of the lot.) So I figure that they are going to move once they see my boyfriend and I get in our vehicle. We get in and they don''t move. We wait...and wait...and wait. I put my foot on the break, thinking the red light shining on them will remind them that we are trying to leave. They don''t move. Don''t even flinch, just keep chatting it up. At this point, my boyfriend tells me just to go forward. He has a truck, so we can easily just go over the curb and through a couple of bushes to freedom. I''m like, "No. We are going to wait here until these idiots move." So we wait. And wait. I think one of the ladies is strapping in her kid, but then I realize she is changing its diaper. Red light is still shining on them. I''m backed up a little bit now. Nothing...doesn''t even phase them. Finally I just go forward.

Anyway, this pissed me off SO BAD. I was talking to my boyfriend about what complete morons they are. He goes, "well say it was you and someone wanted to get out, you''d probably be like ''can you give me a second to strap in my baby!!!'' ".

Then I went on a tangent. I was like, "No, actually I wouldn''t...and here''s why. For one, my child would be in BED at midnight. Two, if I wanted to chat it up with people I''d do it in an actual parking space. 3. If people were walking to their car I wouldn''t strap my kid in first, I''d tell one of the other adults to move the car out of the way then walk the 10 feet to where they are!!" Not to mention the whole time we were sitting there they weren''t strapping in their kids, they were just annoying us.



So yeah. I get annoyed easily. And I always play these little games with myself that don''t do anything but make me more pissed off. In that example, it was when I said I wanted to stay and wait and see how long it took them to snap out of their stupidity. I do that at restaurants too. If a waitress forgets to give me something, I won''t remind them. I''ll wait to see how long it takes them to remember, the whole while getting more annoyed with them.

Why am I like this?

And driving....ugh...don''t even get me started. I am a completely different person while driving. The words I use to describe people talking on their cells phones I don''t even know if you can find in a dictionary.

How do I stop this? lol. I know it is unhealthy. I just feel like its embedded into who I am. See the weird thing is that I am NOT confrontational person. I hold everything inside. I very very very rarely confront a stranger. Can holding it all inside be whats making me so mad? Should I start telling people that they are idiots? I don''t want to get killed either....

Wow, this sort of made me laugh because my husband is just like you. I think trying yoga might help. He always yells at people when driving; of course people can't hear him because the windows are rolled up. I always drive so he doesn't get angry. He now takes the bus to work. . . hehee. He changed himself versus changing others.

I think with age you realize not to sweat the small stuff. I use to want to change the world but now I accept I can't and realize I can only change *me*. I guess maybe realizing that and trying to change yourself so you don't play those games hoping the waitress realizes you need something because if you don't, in the long run that is going to make you very unhappy.

My boss once told me that you create your own destiny and I completely agree. Try to let the small things roll of your back and practice deep breaths in a stressful situation. Also I try to remember most people have *good hearts* and they do not mean wrong, maybe they were just having a bad day. Remembering those things makes it easier to move on and keep your head clear.

Also, when I wake up each morning I try to write down what I am grateful for so that my day starts off positive. I think making small steps toward not allowing anger to take over helps your overall mental and emotional well being Kudos to you for recognizing this issue and wanting to change

Haha, you sound just like me! I am a woman to be reckoned with on the road. I hate driving because it''s like the meeting place for stupidity. I get annoyed easily by everyday people, waitresses not so much because I used to work in a restaurant. I think many people are rude, inconsiderate, and generally dim witted (so mean, I know). And I realize that there are times I do stupid things too, but I try to be mindful of other people and not be rude. If I do end up doing something inconsiderate I also try to make a point to APOLOGIZE... like a civil human being.

Honestly, the only thing that has helped calm me down is Yoga. I swear that is my answer to everything. You learn to just let it go because as annoying as it is at the moment, in the scheme of things it isn''t worth getting yourself worked up over. I just try to be as considerate as I can with others, and if I encounter one of "those" people I just take a deep breath and wait. I kind of go off in my own little world and try to think of how NOT important this moment is, if that makes sense. I also relish the fact that I will probably never have to deal with them again. Maybe you could try some meditation from yoga, or just meditation in general. All that anger is really bad for you, like you said. I always feel much better and less angry after my meditation.

*M*

I am definitely annoyed easily by the stupidity/entitlement of others, but I don''t try to make myself more annoyed like you do, either. Hahaha...that''s so interesting that you do that! I wonder why? I always like to figure out why people do what they do...

I also don''t really have a problem telling people who are making me mad that they''re making me mad. I think my willingness to confront people really keeps my anger level down. On the flip side, I think sometimes I can be overly critical when maybe I should just keep my mouth shut!

It sounds like you keep things inside and then "snap" at certain times, like when you''re driving, etc. I think a lot of people do the same thing because they don''t like confrontation. (My twin sister and boyf are prime examples of this!) Then certain small random things will make them lose their temper when they''re really just mad about other stuff.

I think it''s hard to strike a healthy balance between confronting people and just getting over stuff, but I know I''m better off telling people they''re making me mad a little too often instead of holding it in!

I understand your frustration about the inconsideration of others, but if you really want to be happy in this world, you have to be patient or speak up politely. You can''t live your life by ''testing'' people around you, and then getting upset that things don''t go your way.

No, you shouldn''t tell people they''re idiots, you just need to be polite and patient, and ask them to move. You don''t get angry because of what people do, you get angry because you expectations are violated. Having a more realistic expectation of people and events around you won''t set you up for dissapointment. You should also realize that we live in a world full of rude people, screaming kids, and traffic jams, so if you don''t expect everyone to be on your schedule, then you won''t be dissapointed.

A false sense of urgency stems from self-importance, and things will not always be the way you want them. When you think the whole world revolves around you, then everything takes on gargantuan importance.

You should consider alternatives to lashing out. People lash out because they don''t know how to express thier anger, fear, hurt, or frustration, and they don''t have mature coping mechanisms to deal with it. When you feel frustrated, take a deep breath, and realize that what you''re doing is neither helping you, or changing people around you.

I really hope this helps

Yes, they were irritating, but I don''t understand why you didn''t honk or get out of your car and say, "Excuse me, would you mind pulling forward a bit so we can get out?" That''s what I''ve always done in the past.... it doesn''t help you to be stubborn just because the other people are jackasses LOL

Hmmmm, I don''t think I''m ALways easily annoyed. But if I''m PMSing or I''m really stressed out to begin with, I can be.

Usually when I get annoyed easily I realize that I''m the one with the problem, generally. Sometimes I get really annoyed and with very good reason. So when I''m getting annoyed I try to kind of think if it''s me and I''m just in a mood or if there''s something I can and should actually address. Usually it''s just me.

When those people didn''t move out of the way, I might have simply asked them nicely to move. If they wouldn''t, THEN I''d be annoyed. Extremely. But why work yourself up over that kind of stuff?

I am fairly tolerant but there are days when people acting selfishly or rudely or just plain ignorantly does get on my wood. I try to hold my breath and count to ten BUT I cannot always control being annoyed. There are people who act as if the world revolves around them, and they show no consideration in public towards others. I just cannot take that some days. I also cannot deal with people who throw tantrums.

I was in the grocery store the other night, and a woman was having a major tizz at the check out. She was yelling at the cashier that she is ALLERGIC to the light (which faces the CASHIER) and therefore NONE of her stuff can be scanned via the bar code but must be manually input. I was looking at her like she was an alien. The light from the scanner? Being allergic? And she was flipping out. I just could not fathom what having her item scanned and then bagged would do to her...I think she was just a lunatic and there are checkers there who know this and indulge her and this one did not know the situation. I thought I would burst because I just wanted to tell her to get a grip, but realized she could not possibly be sane and tell that story. Everyone in line looked at her like she was out of her tree.

Date: 4/29/2007 6:22:56 PM
Author: diamondfan
I am fairly tolerant but there are days when people acting selfishly or rudely or just plain ignorantly does get on my wood. I try to hold my breath and count to ten BUT I cannot always control being annoyed. There are people who act as if the world revolves around them, and they show no consideration in public towards others. I just cannot take that some days. I also cannot deal with people who throw tantrums.

I was in the grocery store the other night, and a woman was having a major tizz at the check out. She was yelling at the cashier that she is ALLERGIC to the light (which faces the CASHIER) and therefore NONE of her stuff can be scanned via the bar code but must be manually input. I was looking at her like she was an alien. The light from the scanner? Being allergic? And she was flipping out. I just could not fathom what having her item scanned and then bagged would do to her...I think she was just a lunatic and there are checkers there who know this and indulge her and this one did not know the situation. I thought I would burst because I just wanted to tell her to get a grip, but realized she could not possibly be sane and tell that story. Everyone in line looked at her like she was out of her tree.

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perhaps you should have suggested a foil beanie to this woman DF

Date: 4/29/2007 6:25:01 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
perhaps you should have suggested a foil beanie to this woman DF

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Hehehehehe. I got a good chuckle from that one!

Okay so two votes for yoga...I''m going to have to check that out.

Poptart...the funny thing is that I AM a waitress. So it''s like I expect certain things. I usually try to give them a break because I know how crazy it can get, but at the same time if the restaurant isn''t really busy and the waitress/waiter is just careless, that''s when I start to get annoyed. I don''t get it. It''s not like I don''t forget to get my tables things. Oh well...It''s not just restaurants though.

Thing2of2...I think I do it to humor myself and it ends up backfiring. I think I like the look on people''s faces when they realize how stupid they are. As AWFUL as that sounds. But at the same time, they rarely ever realize how stupid they are!


I almost LOST it a few weeks ago.
My computer wouldn''t go online. For some reason where we live Time Warner Cable will blank out at certain times. Usually at the most inconvenient moments, of course. Every single time I have to call them up and they tell me to do the same thing and then it never works, then they say they''ll send someone to my house--usually like 4 days later and at an undisclosed time.

Well this particular time they guy checked my modem and said it was dead, so I should go to the nearest TWC store and trade it in for a new one. The nearest TWC store is 7 miles away. I drive there, switch out my modem. She didn''t even ask me my name. I thought that was weird. So I drive home, hook it up...and it doesn''t work. I call TWC again and talk to some lady who says I need to make an appointment because she isn''t even seeing my modem on her computer. So I''m about to give up before I realize that that is WEIRD. Because all I did was switch out one piece of equipment with another. So I call again, and some guy tells me that I was supposed to get a cd with the modem. The lady must have forgotten. So I drive all the way back there and get the CD. She doesn''t say sorry. I drive all the way back home...guess what? The CD she gave me was cracked. It''s 5:40 at this point. I have 20 minutes to get there in traffic to get the new CD or wait until Monday. She is so lucky I had that time to calm down. I go in, get the new CD. Again, she doesn''t say sorry. Probably didn''t help that I sort of slammed the other CD down on the desk. Then I checked it in front of her and said "THANKS!!!" with the biggest sarcastic/fake smile I could. That''s my idea of confrontation. lol.


One of the only other times I''ve confronted someone was at school. My printer was jammed and I needed to print out a research paper that was due THAT day. So I drove to school early to print it out in our computer lab. When checking in to use a computer, a lady asked me which one I wanted. I said I didn''t care as long as it had printer access. (Some of them don''t.) So I go to the computer, re-format my whole paper...go to print it out---and the printer is broken. Some guy had it in a million pieces. There was a sign on it that said, "out of order". So, I go up to the lady to ask her what my options are. She''s like, "Well the printer is broken, sooo...?" And thats what did it. I was like, "Well...don''t you think that when I told you I wanted a computer with printer access that should have been your cue to tell me the printer was broken? Did you not have a clue that I might need to print something by making that special request?" She just stared at me. lol. I was so mad. I mean, at least let me use YOUR printer if the one provided for the school isn''t working, you know?

LOL. That would have driven me nuts.

I get annoyed very easily. But I don''t stew like you do. I would have a) tapped my horn or b) gotten out and politely asked them to move forward so that I could back out safely.

If a waitress does something that irritates me, I remind her but nicely with a smile.

But I''ve always been very (a little too) assertive.

One of our neighbors let their dog off lead right in back of our apartment then would WHISTLE and YELL for the dog for about 5 minutes-- or until the dog figured out that it wasn''t a game.

At 6am. And every four hours thereafter.

I wanted to rip them a new one... and almost did. Until DF reminded me that all I have to do is call the management and keep myself out of it.

It worked. The idiot no longer lets the dog off lead.

I don''t understand the stewing you do... it''s very foreign to my nature... but I can see how stressful it would be.

Do you dislike confrontation?

WOW.

Back away slowly from the crazy lady.

Yeah. I don't confront the nuts either.

Date: 4/29/2007 6:22:56 PM
Author: diamondfan
I am fairly tolerant but there are days when people acting selfishly or rudely or just plain ignorantly does get on my wood. I try to hold my breath and count to ten BUT I cannot always control being annoyed. There are people who act as if the world revolves around them, and they show no consideration in public towards others. I just cannot take that some days. I also cannot deal with people who throw tantrums.


I was in the grocery store the other night, and a woman was having a major tizz at the check out. She was yelling at the cashier that she is ALLERGIC to the light (which faces the CASHIER) and therefore NONE of her stuff can be scanned via the bar code but must be manually input. I was looking at her like she was an alien. The light from the scanner? Being allergic? And she was flipping out. I just could not fathom what having her item scanned and then bagged would do to her...I think she was just a lunatic and there are checkers there who know this and indulge her and this one did not know the situation. I thought I would burst because I just wanted to tell her to get a grip, but realized she could not possibly be sane and tell that story. Everyone in line looked at her like she was out of her tree.

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Date: 4/29/2007 6:26:09 PM
Author: lumpkin

Date: 4/29/2007 6:25:01 PM

Author: Cehrabehra

perhaps you should have suggested a foil beanie to this woman DF

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Hehehehehe. I got a good chuckle from that one!

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Hahahaha...me too, Cehra! Funny because it''s true! And it reminds me of a story my Psych 101 professor told my class about his college days. He said there was a guy on their dorm floor who started foiling everything, including his head underneath a regular beanie. He said he and his floormates thought it was absolutely hilarious until they realized it was actually pretty serious and they got the poor guy help.

Anyways, DF, this woman sounds like a total lunatic. Yikes! Definitely the type of person I wouldn''t confront! But that''s an interesting allergy to have, I guess. Red laser light allergies...I think I''ll get tested for that next time I go to the doctor!

Oh man...believe me. I would LOVE to be able to crack my window and very politely with a smile say "sweetie...you think you could pull up a few feet?" I just don''t think I have it in me. In some cases, I think its better for me to say nothing than to try to be sweet. Plus, they looked like the type of people that would have started an argument with me rather than move--and I''m usually a pretty good judge of character. But why should I have to illegally drive over a median to get out of a parking space? I just thought the whole thing was ridiculous. lol.

I see people with short tempers lose it in public a LOT. A guy started SCREAMING at my boyfriend and I one time when we were unloading a boat at a dock. He was supposed to go before us, but we didn''t see him. I mean, he LOST IT. He even got up in my boyfriend''s face. It was really pathetic. I do NOT want to be one of those people.

At the same time, I need to figure out another way to vent. I don''t want people thinking I need to get a grip. I need to be able to let stuff like this roll off my back.

Date: 4/29/2007 6:45:39 PM
Author: Gypsy
LOL. That would have driven me nuts.


I get annoyed very easily. But I don't stew like you do. I would have a) tapped my horn or b) gotten out and politely asked them to move forward so that I could back out safely.


If a waitress does something that irritates me, I remind her but nicely with a smile.


But I've always been very (a little too) assertive.


One of our neighbors let their dog off lead right in back of our apartment then would WHISTLE and YELL for the dog for about 5 minutes-- or until the dog figured out that it wasn't a game.


At 6am. And every four hours thereafter.


I wanted to rip them a new one... and almost did. Until DF reminded me that all I have to do is call the management and keep myself out of it.


It worked. The idiot no longer lets the dog off lead.


I don't understand the stewing you do... it's very foreign to my nature... but I can see how stressful it would be.


Do you dislike confrontation?

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There is a guy in our neighborhood who drive a massive white truck..and it is LOUD. At 1am EVERY morning he drives down our street and EVERYBODY'S car alarm goes off. Its taken everything I have not to sit in a lawnchair in my driveway with a glass of iced tea to drink and a carton of eggs.

ETA: I'm afraid to confront most people. There are some real nutjobs out there. I've heard of people getting shot over road rage. I prefer to stay in my bubble of annoyment. lol. On the other hand, if I know you well I'll confront you nicely.

Date: 4/29/2007 6:58:05 PM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 4/29/2007 6:45:39 PM

Author: Gypsy

LOL. That would have driven me nuts.



I get annoyed very easily. But I don''t stew like you do. I would have a) tapped my horn or b) gotten out and politely asked them to move forward so that I could back out safely.



If a waitress does something that irritates me, I remind her but nicely with a smile.



But I''ve always been very (a little too) assertive.



One of our neighbors let their dog off lead right in back of our apartment then would WHISTLE and YELL for the dog for about 5 minutes-- or until the dog figured out that it wasn''t a game.



At 6am. And every four hours thereafter.



I wanted to rip them a new one... and almost did. Until DF reminded me that all I have to do is call the management and keep myself out of it.



It worked. The idiot no longer lets the dog off lead.



I don''t understand the stewing you do... it''s very foreign to my nature... but I can see how stressful it would be.



Do you dislike confrontation?

Click to expand...

There is a guy in our neighborhood who drive a massive white truck..and it is LOUD. At 1am EVERY morning he drives down our street and EVERYBODY''S car alarm goes off. Its taken everything I have not to sit in a lawnchair in my driveway with a glass of iced tea to drink and a carton of eggs.

Click to expand...

Oh man-- we had a guy like that in NJ. Drove me UP THE WALL. FMIL has deep contacts with the police department (we own the house next to hers)-- he wasn''t at it long.

I have had people just lose their minds over stupid shit. I just keep repeating, I am sorry. Like not seeing someone and bumping into them, I apologize and think, let it go, people. I had a tiny fender bender and I mean tiny, no damage to my car at all, I was backing up at maybe 2 miles an hour, really just rolling to back up and give a woman room to get out of her space, and another car was backing out a fews car down on the opposite side. I tapped her bumper, so lightly, but she had one of those touch me and I crumple to pieces bumpers, and so it was slightly damaged. She would clearly need a new one. She comes out of her car screaming, and I kept saying, yes, I bumped you, would you like my info? Meanwhile she is still screaming at me, that she honked etc...well, it was a hot hot day, had all my air conditioning on full blast plus the radio on, and I did not hear her. I finally looked at her and said, Lady GET OVER IT. I SAID I was sorry. I did not say I was not responsible. NO, I did NOT hear you, or of would have stopped. It is dark in this garage, I looked before backing up and your rear lights were not on. I offered you my information. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT? No one was hurt, your bumper is fixable, GET A GRIP. You know, with people dying in wars and crap daily, I just cannot get spastic over a tiny little fender bender. I was driving a much more expensive, brand new car and was nicely dressed, I offered her my information so she saw I was not an uninsured teen ager, and she just wanted to keep on ranting at me. Clearly she had other issues that made her overreact so totally. Ended up dealing with her hubby and sending him a check and just was amazed, like, I am not arguing that I bumped you and I am taking responsibility...so LET IT GO.

Date: 4/29/2007 7:50:18 PM
Author: diamondfan
I have had people just lose their minds over stupid shit. I just keep repeating, I am sorry. Like not seeing someone and bumping into them, I apologize and think, let it go, people. I had a tiny fender bender and I mean tiny, no damage to my car at all, I was backing up at maybe 2 miles an hour, really just rolling to back up and give a woman room to get out of her space, and another car was backing out a fews car down on the opposite side. I tapped her bumper, so lightly, but she had one of those touch me and I crumple to pieces bumpers, and so it was slightly damaged. She would clearly need a new one. She comes out of her car screaming, and I kept saying, yes, I bumped you, would you like my info? Meanwhile she is still screaming at me, that she honked etc...well, it was a hot hot day, had all my air conditioning on full blast plus the radio on, and I did not hear her. I finally looked at her and said, Lady GET OVER IT. I SAID I was sorry. I did not say I was not responsible. NO, I did NOT hear you, or of would have stopped. It is dark in this garage, I looked before backing up and your rear lights were not on. I offered you my information. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT? No one was hurt, your bumper is fixable, GET A GRIP. You know, with people dying in wars and crap daily, I just cannot get spastic over a tiny little fender bender. I was driving a much more expensive, brand new car and was nicely dressed, I offered her my information so she saw I was not an uninsured teen ager, and she just wanted to keep on ranting at me. Clearly she had other issues that made her overreact so totally. Ended up dealing with her hubby and sending him a check and just was amazed, like, I am not arguing that I bumped you and I am taking responsibility...so LET IT GO.

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Diamondfan I had the same thing happen too except it was the other persons fault and they were yelling at me! The the person claimed she was injured; thank god I had a few witnesses (complete strangers willing to tell the insurance company it was the lady's fault). Honestly some people are TOOOOOOO much.

Gosh, DF that is horrible! I think some people have so much anger built up that they are ready to unleash it on anyone walking by them.

Same thing happened to me a few months ago. I was backing out and she was backing out. We exchanged insurance info. I could clearly tell she THOUGHT it was completely my fault, but I didn''t cough that info up to her. She was elderly, but I could tell would put up a fight to get her way. I was right. My insurance company refused to pay her claim, she needed a new bumper, I barely had a scratch and was fine. We both were moving and both at fault, I assume. She called me up to 10 times a day. I never answered. My insurance company called her and told her to please stop calling me, it wouldn''t change their minds!

Luckystar,

My thought is that the reason why you get so pissed off and can''t seem to "control" it is because on some level of your psychological makeup, you enjoy being angry/irritated. Think about it.

It also could be neuro-chemical. You may literally be getting high off the chemicals being released into your brain cells when you are in this emotional state.

HTH

Luckystar, maybe it is the fact that you work at a restaurant. I was a downright BEAST when I was hostessing/ waitressing. Restaurants bring out the worst in EVERYONE, and my tolerance for people plummeted to an all time low. As soon as I quit, I noticed that my tolerance slowly started to increase again. I get annoyed, sure, but not to the extent I did before. But I really urge you to try the yoga and meditation.

*M*

You would think that by working in a restaurant, her tolerance level would enlarge, not dissapate... I work retail part time, and my expectations of people have dramatically lowered because I would rather be suprised by something good someone says or does, rather than be upset and frustrated that they're not doing their job. I've learned to develop an immense amount of patience by working with people. We all like to vent from time to time, and that's healthy and normal, but when frustration gets in the way of almost everything you're doing, then you're doing yourself a disservice.


Look, it's all about self-importance. Plain and simple. The frustration may be psychological, genetic or even environmental, but that doesn't justify the attitude. Some studies show that babies and children are born irritable. Some studies show that people's family backgrounds play a huge part in their inability to channel frustration constructively. She may be triggering a chemical response in her body, and having that constant chemical change makes you more prone to ulsers, cancer, and other diseases.

People who have anger management problems all have the same set of issues. They think everyone else is aware of their schedule, and that they shouldn't have to be subjected to frustration, inconvinence or annoyance. They think they can do it better than everyone else, and if people don't do things the way they do things, then they're just incompetent. They can't take anything in stride, and usually feel infuriated if the situation seems unjust. They cope with their anger in different ways. Some people yell and scream and throw things, some withdraw socially, sulk, or throw tantrums.

What they usually lack are coping mechanisms to deal with their frustration. They need to figure out the triggers, and react responsibly. Cognitively, they need to restructure their way of thinking by eliminating overly exaggerated and dramatic thinking by using words like "never", "always" and "So" (e.g. "She NEVER does what I say!", "I am SO pissed off because she's SO stupid", "I ALWAYS have to do everything!")They need to learn to problem solve, by finding SOLUTIONS to problems rather than focusing on who did what wrong, or why it happened. They need to stop jumping to conclusions, and use a coping mechanism to deal with their initial frustration.

Coping mechanisms can be relaxation techniques like breathing, meditation, and even yoga can help subside anger. You have to first find the trigger, and then use a mechanism to dissuade your initial reaction. They can also be problem solving, using better communication, or even getting couseling.

Luckystar may just need Assertivenes Training. She may need to just train her mind into being more assertive when she wants things from people. You don't have to be angry to be assertive. I say this because from what I've read, she tends to keep her frustration on the inside, and 'test' people by not saying anything. She then rewards herself by feeling angry when her participant fails her test. She is rewarded because their failure reinforces her sence of superiority.

Reframe your way of thinking. Relax and realize there are more important things. React Rationally.




(What I have said is not intended to insult or criticize you. I'm just trying to help by sharing my knowledge of anger and giving you some different insights. I really hope you get something out of this, so you can be happier!)

Keeping this all bottled up is no good for you or your health. Find your voice. Use it. I am not a confrontational person either, but as I have gotten older I speak up. It has worked wonders for me. And I pick my battles. Like I don''t blow a gasket over any little thing, but if someone is clearly in the wrong, well I speak my mind. So far so good. And it''s all in the delivery too. Good luck, I think we all can relate to this in some way or other.

LOL I just read your story. You think you get annoyed easily? HaHa, I would have gotten out of the truck, and knocked on the ladies window, and said excuse me but you are blocking us in. And if she had said just a minute... then I would have been like I''m sorry but that''s not a parking space! And from there who knows, so maybe I need to do some yoga too. And my hubby is so laid back at the most he would have been like geesh lady. LOL

When I told my boyfriend that you girls recommended yoga he said he''d pay for it.

Curio- I don''t think I''m on the level you are describing yet. Basically I just get overly annoyed. I need to learn to pick my battles. But you could have shown me how much worse it can get if I don''t try to fix it now!

Poptart: That is definitely what it is. I think working in a restaurant has changed my perception of people forever. It really does a number on your tolerance. I think its the whole "pretending" to not be annoyed when you''re working, that you feel you shouldn''t have to be that way when you get out of work. I don''t know.


Sparkles, my boyfriend is extremely laid back too...which is another reason I get so worked up. I think all of the stories I''ve posted on this thread have been annoying, and situations where I probably could have gotten away with venting my frustration. I mean, am I wrong? Should I not be annoyed by any of these people? Because when I try to vent to my boyfriend he always has to get all practical and tolerant on me. (lol) He''s so laid back, that its like I have to verbally prove to him that what just happened was annoying...and that makes me more mad. lol.

Date: 4/29/2007 5:42:51 PM
Author:luckystar112
I get annoyed easily. And I always play these little games with myself that don''t do anything but make me more pissed off.

I am NOT confrontational person. I hold everything inside. I very very very rarely confront a stranger.

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I think the REAL reason you''re playing these games with yourself is that it''s *easier* to do that than it is to ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT (i.e. -- confront the person)

You *wish* people would just do what you want WITHOUT being asked -- but the REALITY is that in order for your needs to be met, they must be VOICED. Until you come to terms with that "fact of life" -- you''ll keep turning this yicky combo of fear & frustration inside, which really really really isn''t good for you.

I''d suggest taking small steps to get more comfortable with "confronting people". It doesn''t have to be hostile. I''d guess that you may end up getting way more out of your conversations from people & "standing up for yourself" than the cheap thrill of seeing someone embarrased at their own stupidity.

Date: 4/30/2007 12:31:46 PM
Author: Mara
haha i don''t get annoyed easily...but certain things can totally just set me off. quite honestly, i think mostly everyone is a total moron.

i can''t tell you how often i see moronic behavior while out in public. it seems like so many people just entirely lack common sense or manners sometimes...things that seem SO RATIONAL to me just seem to elude...oh almost everyone else? hehe. (maybe it''s me? haha) i am always ranting about this to greg, typically after some story like the one you just told happens to us. but in general people just seem so absolutely clueless sometimes don''t they? like it''s all about them. like that story you told, okay who does that? obviously at least one person. and i would imagine many more would think nothing of doing that too. but for the most part since i do think like that, most people don''t disappoint me...i am just like heh whatever, another dumbass!

i am not confrontational, in fact i don''t like confronting people, but i don''t hold it in either, i typically just tell people what i think or want. i would have put the brake on, gotten out and gone up to them and said excuse me but you are blocking us, we are trying to leave, could you please move your car? i almost guarantee that would get results because they probably didn''t even notice you were trying to get out. sad but true. so many people are in their own little worlds. and if they said anything back to me i would have most likely told them off then driven forward hehe.

in terms of being less high strung or relaxing or not getting road rage or whatever, i agree on the yoga recommendation...and also maybe just being more aware of it when it is happening to you. if you can think of ''calming'' techniques that might help too..aka breathing deeply or chanting something to yourself or similar. some days i totally am zen about things and others it seems like everything bothers me. hehee.

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LOL...I swear, some days you are just in my head. I say the moron line all the time to my friends. Some say I need to get off my high horse (and maybe I do), but I sure am a lot more "zen" because I just figure people (and I am not excluding myself from this btw) just do stupid things - sometimes without realizing it.

I do get annoyed from time to time, but I don''t stew. I save the stewing for when TGuy really pisses me off! But even then, life''s too short to stew. Sometimes I think he gets annoyed and stews at me because I don''t stew enough...ha!