Telling my future SIL "that doesn't fit "

[dragonfly411]

Re: Telling my future SIL

Yes do, what she doesn't know about sizes having run small then won't hurt her! I have been in that size range and it is hard to face. Hearing encouragement helped and then hearing it more when *I* made the decision to lose weight was empowering. Glad you found an answer and I can't wait to see pics from your wedding!

 

[GreenBling]

Re: Telling my future SIL

NIel - Did you tell her how good you thought she looked?

P.S. Wasn't Marilyn Monroe a size 12?

Oh yeah! I was raving about how flattering it was on her. Hopefully that helped.

And she probably was, sizes were so small back then! I have a few size 12 vintage dresses that are very well fitting on me. Some that are too small!

I'll tell her that if she gets down again

If she's not loving how she looks in it, she will be when she receives compliments from guests on your big day.

 

[movie zombie]

Re: Telling my future SIL

If she's not loving how she looks in it, she will be when she receives compliments from guests on your big day.

this is so true! there is nothing wrong with a body changing and/or having curves. a size 12 is NOT huge and at one time was standard [read before Twiggy].

 

[Smith1942]

Re: Telling my future SIL

I think her response to the dress was incredibly rude. It's the height of bad manners for the bridesmaid to actually tell the bride that she feels so unenthusiastic about an important aspect of the bride's day such as the dresses. She sounds sullen and ungrateful.

I really don't understand the whole grumpy, feisty bridesmaid thing. Being asked is an honour and means you're special to the bride. I would have thought that your job as bridesmaid is to be supportive and happy, unless the bride is asking you to spend a huge amount of money on a hen weekend that you can't afford, which is different. But no one ever died of wearing a dress they didn't like.

The wedding photos belong to the bride. It's the bride's children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren who will be poring over the wedding photos, not the bridesmaid's descendants. So what does she care?

You hear so many stories these days about unco-operative bridesmaids, that if I were getting married again I don't think I'd have any. I had to sack one of mine - she was my cousin, too. She was annoyed that my wedding was one month before hers, which it had to be because of immigration timings - and we had met and got engaged before her, too. But she was incensed, and constructively dismissed herself. Silly idiot.

I think that some bridesmaids are far too feisty these days and should learn some basic manners. Not least, that it isn't about them, and to cause extra stress for the bride is very selfish.

Anyway Niel, you look gorgeous in your dress. You're slim, have a beautiful baby, are getting married...do you think she's jealous of you, by any chance? Her apparent total lack of joy in this wedding would make it seem so. What other reason could she have to be such a pain about a lovely family occasion that will bring together two parents and a whole family in love and matrimony? She is gaining a sister, her brother is marrying his love...what possible reason can she have not to be happy about it? I'll never understand some people.

ETA: Niel, it's a pity that you got her such a nice dress, with the attitude you've received in return. Perhaps you should have not bothered to get something so flattering.

Going forward, it's obvious that you will not be receiving much warmth from her, so I would do what you have to do - i.e. get her birthday gifts, greet her at family occasions, exchange the odd word - but beyond that, I just wouldn't bother with her. I have also had women in my life who have a mysterious problem with me and they never change, no matter how nice you are to them. I definitely would file her under "Lost Cause, Don't Bother".

 

[Niel]

Re: Telling my future SIL

Thanks smith! On a side note I have never heard it refered to as a" hens weekend". I really like it!

 

[woofmama]

Re: Telling my future SIL

Niel I've read thru this thread and think you handled things very appropriately. Your dress is gorgeous! And you picked very classy dresses for your bridesmaids. You did your part. It's your day, not hers. So be it if she's not happy.
I don't have the best relationship with my in-laws. We are together for holidays but are cut from very different cloth, so we don't hang out or anything. Perhaps she'll be a better SIL later in life. It sounds as though she is immature. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

 

[nowicanseethemoon]

Re: Telling my future SIL

Well thank goodness that whole thing worked out. What a nightmare...

This reinforces my desire to not have bridesmaids next time I get married.