WWYD if you discovered that your child, spouse, parent, sibling, best friend etc. committed a murder?

[seaurchin]

The discussion about the Gabby Petito murder case and the boyfriend's parents involvement made me think of this.

Would you turn them in? Try to convince them to turn themselves in? Help destroy evidence? Help them escape? Try to stay out of it completely? Or a combination of the above? Or other?

What would you do?

 

[Cerulean]

I honestly think it would depend a lot on my relationship with the person, and the type of murder.

Were they a child I was close to, who murdered someone who was abusing them? I’d respond in a different way than, let’s say a friend who viciously killed someone in an act of rage.

This is a sensitive topic, and readers be forewarned.

I have had a good friend actually commit murder. It was indefensible, no matter how I looked at it. He shot someone, and a second person that was with his intended victim in a blind fit of a rage. The second person had nothing to do with it, and he shot them in the back as they were running away. I never forgave him, and disowned him entirely. Not even a glimmer of hesitation. Had I been there when it happened, I would’ve been the first to call the police. He’s serving life without it parole in a max security facility, and I will never visit him.

 

[seaurchin]

My mind didn't even want to go there. What a horrifying choice.

 

[monarch64]

I have to think about this before answering because I'm trying to imagine if my child committed such a crime.

Obviously, I can't fathom even in my wildest imagination that she would. But I know her now for only 9 years. She may turn out to be a completely different person when she reaches adulthood. My reaction would very much depend on circumstance. Self-defense? Lawyer up immediately. Premeditated murder? Lawyer up and stick by her but encourage her to turn herself in. I wouldn't destroy evidence. I would not help her in any way to cover up what she did. Her father on the other hand would have very different ideas, I think.

If I killed someone, I'm realizing right now that my parents would have nothing to do with me. They would wash their hands of me and not help me at all. Now, if my brother murdered someone? Totally different story. They'd move mountains and likely help him leave the country.

 

[MamaBee]

I just had this conversation yesterday with my mom. I wouldn’t cover for them. I would want to know what happened…Was it self defense? In any case if they didn’t turn themselves in….I would. It would shatter my world…but I wouldn’t hesitate.

 

[Austina]

I would like to think that if my DS murdered someone in cold blood I wouldn’t cover for him.

 

[ForteKitty]

If Brian Laundrie was my son, he'd already be dead. If I brought him into this world, it'd be my job to take him out. Blood relations or not, I'm under no delusions that a piece of shit like that will never change.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

It’s a really, really difficult question. I don’t know if I can answer it, to be honest.

I do agree that so much of it would depend on whether it was in self defence, or if it was an abuse kind of situation. If it was, I think my reaction would be very different than if it were in cold blood or out of anger.

Honestly I can’t answer. I hope I would do the right thing, whatever the right thing would be.

 

[Lookinagain]

I have to think that if my daughter killed someone in self defense she would be so devastated that she had taken another life that she would call the paramedics first in the hope that the person wasn't dead, and then the police to tell them what had happened and explain the situation. Self defense is justified if the force used is justified. In this situation, I'd get her a lawyer if she needed one.

Any other actual murder, which I assume by this you mean intentional, I actually don't know what I'd do other than be horrified and not be thinking rationally. So it's possible I'd tell her to run and never contact me again, but I know I would not destroy evidence or lie for her, etc. or even help her to escape or hire a lawyer for her. But it is possible I'd tell her to run.

 

[missy]

Depends.

If it was self defense I’d try talking them into going to the police and explaining what happened.

A malicious pre meditated murder without a darn good reason (a good reason like murdering a child rapist etc) yeah I’d do what I felt was right.

I can’t generalize because each situation is unique but I wouldn’t protect a heinous crime that wasn’t done with good cause.

 

[doberman]

It would depend on the circumstances. I'd make sure they had a criminal lawyer, and that they knew not to say anything to the police. I'm afraid that my trust of law enforcement is minimal. I would certainly not advise them to run away. But I really can't conceive of any family member of mine committing a murder unless it was in self defense.

 

[MamaBee]

Of course if it was in self defense I would get them the best criminal lawyer. I can‘t imagine my children murdering anyone either. I’m looking at it from the angle that I was the mother of a son or daughter that is capable of murdering someone.

 

[Lookinagain]

Of course if it was in self defense I would get them the best criminal lawyer. I can‘t imagine my children murdering anyone either. I’m looking at it from the angle that I was the mother of a son or daughter that is capable of murdering someone.

Yes, me too, but then I wonder how many parents of murderers actually thought their child was capable, until it happened? It's a pretty scary thought.

 

[missy]

Yes, me too, but then I wonder how many parents of murderers actually thought their child was capable, until it happened? It's a pretty scary thought.

There’s a TV show called, I think, Evil Lives Here. I only watched it piecemeal a couple of times because it was unpleasant. But the segments I saw… they knew. The parents, the mom, the brother, they knew something was off. That their kid was a bad egg.

 

[Lookinagain]

There’s a TV show called, I think, Evil Lives Here. I only watched it piecemeal a couple of times because it was unpleasant. But the segments I saw… they knew. The parents, the mom, the brother, they knew something was off. That their kid was a bad egg.

Yeah, I assume some parents must know if it's something like the boy who killed all of those children in Newtown, CT. His mother bought him the guns and from what I remember, it should have been obvious that he had issues. Killed his mom too. But he was a mass murderer on a rampage, which might be a bit different than someone who kills one person in a blind rage. Maybe the parents could foresee anger issues, but not to the point that their child would kill someone. I'm just speculating here that there is probably some middle ground where there are issues but not to the point that the parents think their child would actually murder.

 

[Bron357]

I have very strong feelings on this issue.
Killing someone by intent, by misadventure, by accident, in a fit of rage, drunk, careless, in a disturbed mental state, however and/or why ever, even in self defence is a very very serious matter.
Whether it is a “crime” punishable ”by law” is determined by the Police and the judicial system.
I would tell them they need to contact the Police and if they don’t I will. I would provide whatever support or advice I could be it lawyers, doctors or posting Bond.
I would never destroy evidence and I would never aid and abet anyone to avoid detection or facing determination of their actions / activity.

 

[PinkAndBlueBling]

Murder is a tough one. It's not manslaughter or an accident. It's intentional. "While these three terms are used interchangeably, they are legally different. Homicide may be criminal, excusable, or justified. Murder is a form of criminal homicide, where the person had an intention to kill another person. Manslaughter is another form of homicide that is classified as either voluntary, a killing with intent, but without premeditation (“in the heat of passion”), or involuntary, where an individual acted recklessly, and their actions caused the death of another person."

Given my children's personalities now, the killing would be self-defense - so not murder- and I'd support them 5000%. No need to destroy evidence, in fact I'd help gather it to prove self-defense.

Now, if they were really effed-up psychos, I'd turn them in. They probably would've spent years in therapy and I'd know they were crazy. I might even be scared of them.

DH doesn't have the mindset to plan a killing, so it would be mistaken identity.