Would it be a mistake?

[shazbone]

I''ve been reading threads and viewing pics all througout this forum for several months. Last night a conversation with my boyfreind prompted me to seek advice from fellow pricescope memebers.

I moved in with my boyfreind 3 months ago. (We had been dating for 2.5 years priorto me moving in, and endured an 8 month long distance period, as he relocated from out hometown to go to law school. I moved in at the end of his first year.) I am also a student, and will be starting at a new university this fall to finish my BS/MS. We have an absolutely amazing relationship, and have been planning, little by little, our lives together in the future.

He comes from a well off family, who pretty much support us right now, by paying for our living costs. I do recently landed a paid internship, but that is precisely where the problems start. I am completely financially independant of my family, which is torn (divorced) and constantly tries to make ends meet. I have been fortunate to afford to go to school up here because of a wonderful financial aid scholarship. Last year, I lived in dorms and got by with a low paying part time job and student loans. Because of my and my mother''s minimal income, I was able to recieve this great financial aid scholarship. I mention my mother''s income because being 22, Federal Financial aid still considers me a dependant, even though my mother doesn''t support >50% of my living costs and I haven''t lived with her for over a year!

It may seem early, but I am worried about recieving enough $ to go to school for the next few years, because this paid internship is quite paid indeed. My boyfreind mentioned that he wanted to gert married right after law school, as he will then be able to support himself, and some. Last night we talked about my future finances with school, and we are trying to figure out if it would be beneficial for us to simply get marrried now in order for me to be independant, hence recieve $ to afford school, for the next few years. For this to work, and the federal program to recognize me as an independant, we would need to settle the deal ( get married) by the end of this year.

Is this a wild, unrealistic, impulsive idea?? Or can this be a fathomable way to overcome glitches in the system?

We also would, of course have a proper wedding celebration after we are finished with school as planned!

(I apologize in advance for all the annoying technical/background info)

 

[allycat0303]

Hi Shazborne,

Welcome to pricescope! I had a friend who was in a similar situation (the Quebec financial aid/scholarships) work in very much the same way as your system. My friend got married and was awarded more money, so getting married did overcome the glitches the system. However she did divorce her husband before her B.Sc was over

.

However, that is not to say that same thing would happen to you. Do you feel ready for marriage? Does your boyfriend? I think it might be benefical financially but only if you are absolutely positive this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and if you are emotionally ready for the committement. Have you exhausted all other means of financial aid? In Canada, banks also offer undergrad students about $14 000 a year at very low intrests rates. Have you tried them as a source of financing?
While I was an undergrad, I was under the impression that there were only governement loans available for students, but many banks are in the business of providing student loans and also professional student loans.

Good luck!

 

[shazbone]

Date: 7/29/2005 3:00:56 PM
Author: allycat0303
Hi Shazborne,

Welcome to pricescope! I had a friend who was in a similar situation (the Quebec financial aid/scholarships) work in very much the same way as your system. My friend got married and was awarded more money, so getting married did overcome the glitches the system. However she did divorce her husband before her B.Sc was over

.

However, that is not to say that same thing would happen to you. Do you feel ready for marriage? Does your boyfriend? I think it might be benefical financially but only if you are absolutely positive this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and if you are emotionally ready for the committement. Have you exhausted all other means of financial aid? In Canada, banks also offer undergrad students about $14 000 a year at very low intrests rates. Have you tried them as a source of financing?
While I was an undergrad, I was under the impression that there were only governement loans available for students, but many banks are in the business of providing student loans and also professional student loans.

Good luck!

Thanks, Allycat for your response. I am very confident that I am ready to commit myself to my boyfreind, as he is as well. As far as loans are concerned, they are available, but difficult to obtain. I would need a co-signer, most likely a family memeber. But, no one in my family would qualify. I wouldn''t qualify on my own because of my age, income ( I have done research about non-federal loans and I would need a minimum income of at least 18K/year), and young credit history. My credit wouldn''t be established until I''m done with school!

I am not sure what his family will think, however. They are great people and have supported us throughout our relationship, and even took me under their wing as things got rough at home for me. But they could simply be unwilling to accept this informal way of my boyfreind and I to let the world know we want to be together for the rest of our lives.

 

[MissAva]

Who says it has to be informal? If you got engaged now you can still do all the big craziness. Also you could do it starting next year. If he is the one for you and he feels the same the go for. However will his parents still support him if he is married? If so I say let him pop the question in the old fashioned way ASAP in girl soon not boy soon and start planning your wedding.

 

[shazbone]

I am pretty sure that his parents would still support him until he''s done with law school. I don''t even want to think about palnning a wedding until my life winds down a little! I''ll be a full time student this fall, while interning at EPA for another 20hours/week!

Thanks for the responses. I feel more confident about this marriage thing working out for us. Reading your responses are helping me realize that it isnt an off-the-wall idea, considering the circumstances!

 

[goldengirl]

Date: 7/29/2005 3:18:15 PM
Author: shazbone
Thanks, Allycat for your response. I am very confident that I am ready to commit myself to my boyfreind, as he is as well. As far as loans are concerned, they are available, but difficult to obtain. I would need a co-signer, most likely a family memeber. But, no one in my family would qualify. I wouldn''t qualify on my own because of my age, income ( I have done research about non-federal loans and I would need a minimum income of at least 18K/year), and young credit history. My credit wouldn''t be established until I''m done with school!


I am not sure what his family will think, however. They are great people and have supported us throughout our relationship, and even took me under their wing as things got rough at home for me. But they could simply be unwilling to accept this informal way of my boyfreind and I to let the world know we want to be together for the rest of our lives.

Shaz, welcome to my little niche! I work in higher ed now so this is truly my cup of tea.

I am ALSO considered a "dependent" student and I''m sure it burns you just as much as it does me, right about now!

You mentioned your mother''s minimal income as well as your FH''s possibly handsome income. Which combination is the smallest amount of money, you and your mom or you and your FH? The smaller pot will give you the greatest chance at grants and scholarships, naturally.

Of course, if you REALLY want the grant money, you could always just have a child!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Are you sure you have to be married to be considered independent? I went to grad school at 22, and was considered independent for financial aid purposes. As far as I know, my parents just stopped claiming me on their taxes and that was it. I got a Stafford Loan, which is the subsidized one. I can ask my father exactly what the procedures were since that was a while ago, but I definitely know that I was considered independent (and definitely not married either!).

 

[shazbone]

Well, another funny thing with financial aid is that a student is considered independant once they are in grad school, regardless of age. I have about 2 more years of undergrad left.

Also, my FH isn''t working now, he and I are supported by his parents. (they paythe bills) My FH wont be working until at least another year or two, once he finishes law school. When he finishes law school, I will be considered independant not only for my age, but I will then be working on my masters. With this said, it seems as though the smallest pot of incomes (for the next few years) will be a combination of mine and my FH''s.

His family is coming to visit us at the end of the month, so we have decided to talk to them about this marriage thing. We aren''t looking for approval, but we want to find out how things would change for he and his family finacially. Of course, simple things like health insurance would need to be altered.

But beyond all the finacial advantages, I am excited about actually talking about marriage with my boyfriend. We have been together for quite a while (3 years in october) and it is just amazing!

Thanks again, everyone, for all your input.