Why don't you reply?

[AprilBaby]

I have noticed several threads asking simple questions that have almost 100 views but no replies. If I were a newbie I would think us unfriendly or I asked a dumb question. Most of those I refer to ask questions any of us could answer. I admit to not being anywhere near an expert but I like to try just so they get SOME answer.

 

[AprilBaby]

So far 11 views and no responses....showing my point....

 

[TooPatient]

I usually don't reply to questions if I don't think I have much to add. If it is an area I'm not an expert at or if half a dozen other people have already shared the same opinion I would it just feels like I may as well not reply rather than clutter up the thread.

Goofy! I know that doesn't make any sense, but there you go.

I'll try to keep this in mind when I see stuff. I certainly don't want new people to think of this group as unfriendly!


ETA: If it is a particularly interesting/challenging question or situation I often read it and then come back later to reply. Sometimes I even read it multiple times before replying. I like to take the time to really think about the question/situation and give the most thoughtful answer I can manage.

ETA 2: Sometimes I'll see that other people have replied since I read the thread or posted a reply so I'll go back in to see what others are saying on the subject. I don't always post another reply, but the "number of views" increases each time.

 

[SB621]

1- I have nothing to add
2- I can't answer the question
3- It is a question I have already answered more times then I care to admit
4- I just don't have time, I work during the day so my posting time is limited
5-Do I have a vested interest in the topic?

 

[Mayk]

I think after hanging out here for a little over two years I'm still a novice and outside of do you like this or that I'm not comfortable giving buying advice on a diamond purchase.

I also see people throwing out many options, sometimes way off the original thought, I feel any opinion I might have to offer will just further muddy the OP's mission and more confuse the main topic.

It's not that I don't want to be helpful. I just don't feel like an expert and I also don't have time to do endless searches for a candidate to meet their needs but if something comes to mind I've recently seen I will make a suggestion. But it has to be pretty close to what they are looking for...

 

[purplesparklies]

1- I have nothing to add
2- I can't answer the question
3- It is a question I have already answered more times then I care to admit
4- I just don't have time, I work during the day so my posting time is limited
5-Do I have a vested interest in the topic?

^^^ exactly.

 

[Aoife]

I don't respond unless I feel I have something constructive to add, or unless I am particularly interested in the question.

I feel as though there are enough threads where the OP is getting advice from people who either haven't read what is really being asked and/or read any of the responses, or who don't have sufficient experience/expertise to be offering advice but do anyway. The OP doesn't need me to add further confusion unless I actually know something about the topic.

 

[Enerchi]

I don't respond unless I feel I have something constructive to add, or unless I am particularly interested in the question.

I feel as though there are enough threads where the OP is getting advice from people who either haven't read what is really being asked and/or read any of the responses, or who don't have sufficient experience/expertise to be offering advice but do anyway. The OP doesn't need me to add further confusion unless I actually know something about the topic.

+1 and a big "AMEN" to that bling sister!!!! I am noticing more and more ... and MORE ... of this lately. OP asks for ABC and then gets enough alternate options down to KLM... when the OP comes back on, even more alternates are offered down to XYZ... I wonder in those threads, if the OP was helped or hindered by the, um, "enthusiasm", taking them into tangents they may never have considered (be that good or bad).

I love to participate if there is something I can constructively add to the conversation ... but I don't feel comfortable jumping into what may have now become a 2 way convo between a PS helper and the OP.

 

[marymm]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Cuz sometimes the OP is an idiot. But sometimes I make an exception.

I also feel like there is enough uneducated people replying to noobs. Don't need to confuse them more by adding information that actually makes sense. That would make too much sense.

 

[yssie]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

Perfectly said!

I can't be bothered replying often in RT these days - unless it's a topic I'm particularly interested in.

Sometimes I just don't care to type out the same response to the same question a hundredth time.

Sometimes - more often recently, to be honest, or maybe I just have less patience for it these days - I read prior responses and they're incomplete, and/or inaccurate, and/or essentially little more than biased opinions couched as fact... and I shake my head and click away because the alternative is typing out a five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother reading. Or posting a link to a prior five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother clicking. Because if they'd bothered they wouldn't be posting what they're posting.

Bah.

 

[AprilBaby]

Very good points!
Thanks for answering!

 

[AprilBaby]

I don't respond unless I feel I have something constructive to add, or unless I am particularly interested in the question.

I feel as though there are enough threads where the OP is getting advice from people who either haven't read what is really being asked and/or read any of the responses, or who don't have sufficient experience/expertise to be offering advice but do anyway. The OP doesn't need me to add further confusion unless I actually know something about the topic.

+1 and a big "AMEN" to that bling sister!!!! I am noticing more and more ... and MORE ... of this lately. OP asks for ABC and then gets enough alternate options down to KLM... when the OP comes back on, even more alternates are offered down to XYZ... I wonder in those threads, if the OP was helped or hindered by the, um, "enthusiasm", taking them into tangents they may never have considered (be that good or bad).

I love to participate if there is something I can constructively add to the conversation ... but I don't feel comfortable jumping into what may have now become a 2 way convo between a PS helper and the OP.

+2
Amen!!

 

[TooPatient]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

Perfectly said!

I can't be bothered replying often in RT these days - unless it's a topic I'm particularly interested in.

Sometimes I just don't care to type out the same response to the same question a hundredth time.

Sometimes - more often recently, to be honest, or maybe I just have less patience for it these days - I read prior responses and they're incomplete, and/or inaccurate, and/or essentially little more than biased opinions couched as fact... and I shake my head and click away because the alternative is typing out a five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother reading. Or posting a link to a prior five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother clicking. Because if they'd bothered they wouldn't be posting what they're posting.

Bah.

I think it depends on the topic. In RT ore CS, I'd hope that people took the time to look through some old stuff before just posting a basic question. At the same time, I can see how a person new to all of this would be overwhelmed with all of the information, facts and opinions in so many threads and be hoping for a little personalized help.

In sections like Ladies in Waiting, Bride & Groom World Wide, Family & Home, etc...
Not answering on topics that have been brought up multiple times before would leave the areas rather dead. Same with here in Hangout!


BTW, some people actually do take the time to read the 5-paragraph explanations and follow (and read!) the links posted. I find that I can learn a lot by just reading topics and the great replies that people take the time to offer. (which of course adds to the "times viewed" as I am reading but not posting)

 

[yennyfire]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

What a perfect response, though sometimes I DO feel guilty for not responding to a question that I could answer for lack of willingness to go stone/setting hunting or searching for past threads on the same subject....

 

[Dancing Fire]

b/c I don't wanted to confuse the OP.

 

[yssie]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

Perfectly said!

I can't be bothered replying often in RT these days - unless it's a topic I'm particularly interested in.

Sometimes I just don't care to type out the same response to the same question a hundredth time.

Sometimes - more often recently, to be honest, or maybe I just have less patience for it these days - I read prior responses and they're incomplete, and/or inaccurate, and/or essentially little more than biased opinions couched as fact... and I shake my head and click away because the alternative is typing out a five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother reading. Or posting a link to a prior five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother clicking. Because if they'd bothered they wouldn't be posting what they're posting.

Bah.

I think it depends on the topic. In RT ore CS, I'd hope that people took the time to look through some old stuff before just posting a basic question. At the same time, I can see how a person new to all of this would be overwhelmed with all of the information, facts and opinions in so many threads and be hoping for a little personalized help.

In sections like Ladies in Waiting, Bride & Groom World Wide, Family & Home, etc...
Not answering on topics that have been brought up multiple times before would leave the areas rather dead. Same with here in Hangout!


BTW, some people actually do take the time to read the 5-paragraph explanations and follow (and read!) the links posted. I find that I can learn a lot by just reading topics and the great replies that people take the time to offer. (which of course adds to the "times viewed" as I am reading but not posting)

TooPatient, I agree with you re. RT and CS being different animals from Hangout, F&H, etc. To be honest it's not newbies on RT that annoy me - they're new, they can't be expected to know their way around the site, or know what questions to ask! It's the people replying.

Opinions masquerading as facts. Yes, WE long-timers know it's your opinion, but someone who's new can't be expected to!

Facts stated without any explanation, support, references, documentation - nothing. Statements like "tables on RBs mustn't be bigger than 57%" drive me absolutely crazy because they're simply NOT TRUE unless perhaps followed by a long and thorough explanation, and even then they're debatable... If you can't be bothered to actually detail what you mean (assuming you actually can elaborate, and aren't just parroting something you read somewhere else on PS) then in my humble opinion you really shouldn't be replying at all. Because at that point all you've achieved is propagating misinformation and it's on someone else to come in and try and untangle the knots you've tied - if they can be bothered.

Opinions that don't take OP's preferences into account. One example that has come multiple times the last few weeks: if someone comes in looking for a G/H on a very tight budget I think it's perfectly fine to ask if they've considered dropping colour. I do NOT think it's fine to state outright that a J/K/L/whatever will be plenty white and post half a dozen links to lower-coloured, lower-clarity alternatives. We all have our preferences. We all have our priorities. It is, IMO, our responsibility to participate responsibly - and, again IMO, part of that responsibility is to make suggestions based on OP's stated priorities, not force ours on him/her.

Recommendations to use tools blindly. AGA, HCA... too often it seems that neither OP nor responder have any understanding of what the tool is actually outputting. If I read the sweeping declarations "I'd pick #1, it has HCA under 2!!" or "it's an AGS0, it'll be beautiful, AGS has already done all the work!!" one more time... I laughed out loud. What will I do? Well, I'll click away and not respond. ETA: The "pick the best IS" threads are another variety. Usually there are three perfectly lovely photos and the OP wants to know which is the "best stone". Invariably the one chosen is the one most similar to the flavour espoused by the various PS boutique vendors' signature lines, and very, very rarely is there any discussion about different flavours having different advantages and disadvantages in types of jewellery, different settings/lighting types, brillianteering...

Ugh. Well, at least I do as I say, I suppose - here's my five-paragraph rant for the day

 

[TooPatient]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

Perfectly said!

I can't be bothered replying often in RT these days - unless it's a topic I'm particularly interested in.

Sometimes I just don't care to type out the same response to the same question a hundredth time.

Sometimes - more often recently, to be honest, or maybe I just have less patience for it these days - I read prior responses and they're incomplete, and/or inaccurate, and/or essentially little more than biased opinions couched as fact... and I shake my head and click away because the alternative is typing out a five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother reading. Or posting a link to a prior five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother clicking. Because if they'd bothered they wouldn't be posting what they're posting.

Bah.

I think it depends on the topic. In RT ore CS, I'd hope that people took the time to look through some old stuff before just posting a basic question. At the same time, I can see how a person new to all of this would be overwhelmed with all of the information, facts and opinions in so many threads and be hoping for a little personalized help.

In sections like Ladies in Waiting, Bride & Groom World Wide, Family & Home, etc...
Not answering on topics that have been brought up multiple times before would leave the areas rather dead. Same with here in Hangout!


BTW, some people actually do take the time to read the 5-paragraph explanations and follow (and read!) the links posted. I find that I can learn a lot by just reading topics and the great replies that people take the time to offer. (which of course adds to the "times viewed" as I am reading but not posting)

TooPatient, I agree with you re. RT and CS being different animals from Hangout, F&H, etc. To be honest it's not newbies on RT that annoy me - they're new, they can't be expected to know their way around the site, or know what questions to ask! It's the people replying.

Opinions masquerading as facts. Yes, WE long-timers know it's your opinion, but someone who's new can't be expected to!

Facts stated without any explanation, support, references, documentation - nothing. Statements like "tables on RBs mustn't be bigger than 57%" drive me absolutely crazy because they're simply NOT TRUE unless perhaps followed by a long and thorough explanation, and even then they're debatable... If you can't be bothered to actually detail what you mean (assuming you actually can elaborate, and aren't just parroting something you read somewhere else on PS) then in my humble opinion you really shouldn't be replying at all, because at that point all you've achieved is propagating misinformation, and it's on someone else to come in and try and untangle the knots you've tied - if they can be bothered.

Opinions that don't take OP's preferences into account. One example that has come multiple times the last few weeks: if someone comes in looking for a G/H on a very tight budget I think it's perfectly fine to ask if they've considered dropping colour. I do NOT think it's fine to state outright that a J/K/L/whatever will be plenty white and post half a dozen links to lower-coloured, lower-clarity alternatives. We all have our preferences. We all have our priorities. It is, IMO, our responsibility to participate responsibly - and, again IMO, part of that responsibility is to make suggestions based on OP's stated priorities, not force ours on him/her.

Recommendations to use tools blindly. AGA, HCA... too often it seems that neither OP nor responder have any understanding of what the tool is actually outputting. If I read the blanket "I'd pick #1, it has HCA under 2!!" one more time...


Ugh. Well, at least I do as I say, I suppose - here's my five-paragraph rant for the day

I read your whole "five-paragraph rant for the day"

I'm glad you took the time to clarify your response! I agree with every last word you wrote. That is part of why I am so reluctant to go into those areas and really don't bother to post there. I like to learn about everything but don't feel qualified to give an answer that is detailed enough to be of use. I also tend to go in person to my local jeweler rather than ask many questions beyond "which style would be better, in your opinion...."

Pushing someone to make changes in what they want gets super frustrating! I don't mind someone making the suggestion and even posting links/facts/pictures to support, but it really loses all interest and helpfulness if everyone ignores the OP's wants and tells them what the need instead.

 

[yssie]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

Perfectly said!

I can't be bothered replying often in RT these days - unless it's a topic I'm particularly interested in.

Sometimes I just don't care to type out the same response to the same question a hundredth time.

Sometimes - more often recently, to be honest, or maybe I just have less patience for it these days - I read prior responses and they're incomplete, and/or inaccurate, and/or essentially little more than biased opinions couched as fact... and I shake my head and click away because the alternative is typing out a five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother reading. Or posting a link to a prior five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother clicking. Because if they'd bothered they wouldn't be posting what they're posting.

Bah.

I think it depends on the topic. In RT ore CS, I'd hope that people took the time to look through some old stuff before just posting a basic question. At the same time, I can see how a person new to all of this would be overwhelmed with all of the information, facts and opinions in so many threads and be hoping for a little personalized help.

In sections like Ladies in Waiting, Bride & Groom World Wide, Family & Home, etc...
Not answering on topics that have been brought up multiple times before would leave the areas rather dead. Same with here in Hangout!


BTW, some people actually do take the time to read the 5-paragraph explanations and follow (and read!) the links posted. I find that I can learn a lot by just reading topics and the great replies that people take the time to offer. (which of course adds to the "times viewed" as I am reading but not posting)

TooPatient, I agree with you re. RT and CS being different animals from Hangout, F&H, etc. To be honest it's not newbies on RT that annoy me - they're new, they can't be expected to know their way around the site, or know what questions to ask! It's the people replying.

Opinions masquerading as facts. Yes, WE long-timers know it's your opinion, but someone who's new can't be expected to!

Facts stated without any explanation, support, references, documentation - nothing. Statements like "tables on RBs mustn't be bigger than 57%" drive me absolutely crazy because they're simply NOT TRUE unless perhaps followed by a long and thorough explanation, and even then they're debatable... If you can't be bothered to actually detail what you mean (assuming you actually can elaborate, and aren't just parroting something you read somewhere else on PS) then in my humble opinion you really shouldn't be replying at all. Because at that point all you've achieved is propagating misinformation and it's on someone else to come in and try and untangle the knots you've tied - if they can be bothered.

Opinions that don't take OP's preferences into account. One example that has come multiple times the last few weeks: if someone comes in looking for a G/H on a very tight budget I think it's perfectly fine to ask if they've considered dropping colour. I do NOT think it's fine to state outright that a J/K/L/whatever will be plenty white and post half a dozen links to lower-coloured, lower-clarity alternatives. We all have our preferences. We all have our priorities. It is, IMO, our responsibility to participate responsibly - and, again IMO, part of that responsibility is to make suggestions based on OP's stated priorities, not force ours on him/her.

Recommendations to use tools blindly. AGA, HCA... too often it seems that neither OP nor responder have any understanding of what the tool is actually outputting. If I read the sweeping declarations "I'd pick #1, it has HCA under 2!!" or "it's an AGS0, it'll be beautiful, AGS has already done all the work!!" one more time... I laughed out loud. What will I do? Well, I'll click away and not respond. ETA: The "pick the best IS" threads are another variety. Usually there are three perfectly lovely photos and the OP wants to know which is the "best stone". Invariably the one chosen is the one most similar to the flavour espoused by the various PS boutique vendors' signature lines, and very, very rarely is there any discussion about different flavours having different advantages and disadvantages in types of jewellery, different settings/lighting types, brillianteering...

Ugh. Well, at least I do as I say, I suppose - here's my five-paragraph rant for the day

TooPatient I just read your last response and I feel terrible - I didn't mean to suggest that people who don't know everything aren't welcome! I hope it doesn't come across that way. I sure don't know everything and some days I just leave my mouth open - I know if I close it I'll just open it in five seconds again anyway! And we were all new at one point or another!

I just wish... well, it seems that some posters don't take any pride in their posts, and that really bugs me. I know I'm super careful with what I say - I try to make sure my opinions are clearly opinions, I try to link articles and documents and threads, and I try to explain what I'm thinking because if I"m wrong, well, no-one can tell me where I'm going wrong if they don't know what I"m thinking! And when someone points out that I'm wrong (someone with <100 posts called me out on something I was way off on re. AGSL DQD grading just a couple of days ago!) I do my best to figure it out and remember for next time. And goodness knows most RT regulars are exactly the same way - PS seems to attract the careful, deliberating sort in general it's the (rare!) exceptions that I take exception to. It's like my husband says - you get to be antagonistic and right or pliable and wrong, but if you're antagonistic and wrong expect to piss off a lot of people.

 

[Aoife]

TooPatient, I agree with you re. RT and CS being different animals from Hangout, F&H, etc. To be honest it's not newbies on RT that annoy me - they're new, they can't be expected to know their way around the site, or know what questions to ask! It's the people replying.

Opinions masquerading as facts. Yes, WE long-timers know it's your opinion, but someone who's new can't be expected to!

Facts stated without any explanation, support, references, documentation - nothing. Statements like "tables on RBs mustn't be bigger than 57%" drive me absolutely crazy because they're simply NOT TRUE unless perhaps followed by a long and thorough explanation, and even then they're debatable... If you can't be bothered to actually detail what you mean (assuming you actually can elaborate, and aren't just parroting something you read somewhere else on PS) then in my humble opinion you really shouldn't be replying at all. Because at that point all you've achieved is propagating misinformation and it's on someone else to come in and try and untangle the knots you've tied - if they can be bothered.

Opinions that don't take OP's preferences into account. One example that has come multiple times the last few weeks: if someone comes in looking for a G/H on a very tight budget I think it's perfectly fine to ask if they've considered dropping colour. I do NOT think it's fine to state outright that a J/K/L/whatever will be plenty white and post half a dozen links to lower-coloured, lower-clarity alternatives. We all have our preferences. We all have our priorities. It is, IMO, our responsibility to participate responsibly - and, again IMO, part of that responsibility is to make suggestions based on OP's stated priorities, not force ours on him/her.

Recommendations to use tools blindly. AGA, HCA... too often it seems that neither OP nor responder have any understanding of what the tool is actually outputting. If I read the sweeping declarations "I'd pick #1, it has HCA under 2!!" or "it's an AGS0, it'll be beautiful, AGS has already done all the work!!" one more time... I laughed out loud. What will I do? Well, I'll click away and not respond. ETA: The "pick the best IS" threads are another variety. Usually there are three perfectly lovely photos and the OP wants to know which is the "best stone". Invariably the one chosen is the one most similar to the flavour espoused by the various PS boutique vendors' signature lines, and very, very rarely is there any discussion about different flavours having different advantages and disadvantages in types of jewellery, different settings/lighting types, brillianteering...

Ugh. Well, at least I do as I say, I suppose - here's my five-paragraph rant for the day

This is a great rant, and I agree with everything you said, Yssie. There was a thread a while back that touched on this topic, and several posters said that they didn't mind if newbies posted on RT, because if the information given out was incorrect, or simply opinion, someone would come along and correct that poster. Maybe that's the way it used to be, it it's not the way it is now. I am not a diamond expert, although I've bought a few, but I've been around PS for several years, as a lurker for long before I registered, and if even I know some of the stuff posted on RT is misinformation, it's pretty egregious. And these days, no one corrects it, so I worry about some of the OP's spending all that money on something that might not be what they really want. They asked for what they thought was expert opinions--and what they got might not be any more informed than their own. I sometimes wonder if the OP looks at the ring s/he ended up with and wonders "How the heck did I end up with this?It's not what I wanted at all." Caveat emptor, and all that.

 

[Enerchi]

Opinions that don't take OP's preferences into account. One example that has come multiple times the last few weeks: if someone comes in looking for a G/H on a very tight budget I think it's perfectly fine to ask if they've considered dropping colour. I do NOT think it's fine to state outright that a J/K/L/whatever will be plenty white and post half a dozen links to lower-coloured, lower-clarity alternatives. We all have our preferences. We all have our priorities. It is, IMO, our responsibility to participate responsibly - and, again IMO, part of that responsibility is to make suggestions based on OP's stated priorities, not force ours on him/her.

. Yssie

Well said Yssie!

This is what I meant above. Maybe the OP really does have no idea, but if they have done some lurking and research and have discussed w their beloved what their preferences are in terms of shape size budget and colour, then an over zealous poster can do far more harm than good, IMO. I find the over zealousness is disrespectful to the OP.

There's a cutesy little office phrase that goes along the lines of..."better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you know nothing, than to open it and confirm it" While that may not be completely applicable in all cases, sometimes being too "in your face" w advice is not always a good thing.

Pushing someone to make changes in what they want gets super frustrating! I don't mind someone making the suggestion and even posting links/facts/pictures to support, but it really loses all interest and helpfulness if everyone ignores the OP's wants and tells them what the need instead.

. Exactly, toopatient!

 

[Mayk]

YSSIE +++++++1 Thank you!

I just get frustrated and move on... You said it beautifully!!

 

[Aoife]

I just reread what I wrote above, and I want to clarify that I have no problem with new posters. We've all been new at some point. I do think it's important to be honest with yourself about what you do and do not know before you start advising someone else on a purchase that probably involves a significant amount of money to the OP, whether that budget is $1000 or $60,000.

 

[Enerchi]

I just reread what I wrote above, and I want to clarify that I have no problem with new posters. We've all been new at some point. I do think it's important to be honest with yourself about what you do and do not know before you start advising someone else on a purchase that probably involves a significant amount of money to the OP, whether that budget is $1000 or $60,000.

Where is the "LIKE" button?

 

[ecf8503]

I have to agree with the tone of what has been said above by various people. I tend not to post too often as I know there are others here that have more knowledge, experience, and dedication to posting than I do, as well as my tendency to not to want to look like a fool!

But seriously, if I don't have the time, or interest, I just won't say anything at all. Especially if what I have to say is just a parroting of what others have already more eloquently stated. But I feel for the OP's when no one replies - I've had that happen to me when I've started topics before, and it just makes you scratch your head and wonder why no one is responding?

I'll try to be a good girl and post more.

 

[TooPatient]

I never feel obligated to reply to any thread.
Sometimes I'm on PS just to graze, kind of like flipping through a magazine.
Sometimes the question is outside my wheelhouse of knowledge and/or comfort zone.
Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write out a complete-enough response.
Sometimes I'm not interested enough in the topic to want to respond, even if I do have knowledge on the subject.
Sometimes I wonder why more people don't utilize the "search" function, or read the first page of threads, before posting their question.
Sometimes I don't have anything positive to contribute.

Perfectly said!

I can't be bothered replying often in RT these days - unless it's a topic I'm particularly interested in.

Sometimes I just don't care to type out the same response to the same question a hundredth time.

Sometimes - more often recently, to be honest, or maybe I just have less patience for it these days - I read prior responses and they're incomplete, and/or inaccurate, and/or essentially little more than biased opinions couched as fact... and I shake my head and click away because the alternative is typing out a five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother reading. Or posting a link to a prior five-paragraph explanation that I KNOW no-one will actually bother clicking. Because if they'd bothered they wouldn't be posting what they're posting.

Bah.

I think it depends on the topic. In RT ore CS, I'd hope that people took the time to look through some old stuff before just posting a basic question. At the same time, I can see how a person new to all of this would be overwhelmed with all of the information, facts and opinions in so many threads and be hoping for a little personalized help.

In sections like Ladies in Waiting, Bride & Groom World Wide, Family & Home, etc...
Not answering on topics that have been brought up multiple times before would leave the areas rather dead. Same with here in Hangout!


BTW, some people actually do take the time to read the 5-paragraph explanations and follow (and read!) the links posted. I find that I can learn a lot by just reading topics and the great replies that people take the time to offer. (which of course adds to the "times viewed" as I am reading but not posting)

TooPatient, I agree with you re. RT and CS being different animals from Hangout, F&H, etc. To be honest it's not newbies on RT that annoy me - they're new, they can't be expected to know their way around the site, or know what questions to ask! It's the people replying.

Opinions masquerading as facts. Yes, WE long-timers know it's your opinion, but someone who's new can't be expected to!

Facts stated without any explanation, support, references, documentation - nothing. Statements like "tables on RBs mustn't be bigger than 57%" drive me absolutely crazy because they're simply NOT TRUE unless perhaps followed by a long and thorough explanation, and even then they're debatable... If you can't be bothered to actually detail what you mean (assuming you actually can elaborate, and aren't just parroting something you read somewhere else on PS) then in my humble opinion you really shouldn't be replying at all. Because at that point all you've achieved is propagating misinformation and it's on someone else to come in and try and untangle the knots you've tied - if they can be bothered.

Opinions that don't take OP's preferences into account. One example that has come multiple times the last few weeks: if someone comes in looking for a G/H on a very tight budget I think it's perfectly fine to ask if they've considered dropping colour. I do NOT think it's fine to state outright that a J/K/L/whatever will be plenty white and post half a dozen links to lower-coloured, lower-clarity alternatives. We all have our preferences. We all have our priorities. It is, IMO, our responsibility to participate responsibly - and, again IMO, part of that responsibility is to make suggestions based on OP's stated priorities, not force ours on him/her.

Recommendations to use tools blindly. AGA, HCA... too often it seems that neither OP nor responder have any understanding of what the tool is actually outputting. If I read the sweeping declarations "I'd pick #1, it has HCA under 2!!" or "it's an AGS0, it'll be beautiful, AGS has already done all the work!!" one more time... I laughed out loud. What will I do? Well, I'll click away and not respond. ETA: The "pick the best IS" threads are another variety. Usually there are three perfectly lovely photos and the OP wants to know which is the "best stone". Invariably the one chosen is the one most similar to the flavour espoused by the various PS boutique vendors' signature lines, and very, very rarely is there any discussion about different flavours having different advantages and disadvantages in types of jewellery, different settings/lighting types, brillianteering...

Ugh. Well, at least I do as I say, I suppose - here's my five-paragraph rant for the day

TooPatient I just read your last response and I feel terrible - I didn't mean to suggest that people who don't know everything aren't welcome! I hope it doesn't come across that way. I sure don't know everything and some days I just leave my mouth open - I know if I close it I'll just open it in five seconds again anyway! And we were all new at one point or another!

I just wish... well, it seems that some posters don't take any pride in their posts, and that really bugs me. I know I'm super careful with what I say - I try to make sure my opinions are clearly opinions, I try to link articles and documents and threads, and I try to explain what I'm thinking because if I"m wrong, well, no-one can tell me where I'm going wrong if they don't know what I"m thinking! And when someone points out that I'm wrong (someone with <100 posts called me out on something I was way off on re. AGSL DQD grading just a couple of days ago!) I do my best to figure it out and remember for next time. And goodness knows most RT regulars are exactly the same way - PS seems to attract the careful, deliberating sort in general it's the (rare!) exceptions that I take exception to. It's like my husband says - you get to be antagonistic and right or pliable and wrong, but if you're antagonistic and wrong expect to piss off a lot of people.

It didn't come across that way at all!

I think the only way for people to learn is to ask and share. That is part of what I've felt missing lately. It feels like there are less people asking and less people sharing. I used to love reading the replies to questions and watching the back and forth that took place.

Actually, I haven't been over into RT or CS for a few months now...
I should take some time to go see what is happening. It is easy to say that it feels like fewer people are answering and sharing, but it takes more effort to actually try to DO something constructive about it. (I still need to get around to a SMTB on my new e-ring I got 6 months ago and my necklace and w-bands and...)

 

[chrono]

1- I have nothing to add
2- I can't answer the question
3- It is a question I have already answered more times then I care to admit
4- I just don't have time, I work during the day so my posting time is limited
5-Do I have a vested interest in the topic?

This is the answer for me. I see misinformation and totally off suggestions which Yssie mentioned as well. There are also times I feel burnt out and only skim without answering, not able to muster sufficient energy to respond.

 

[Kaleigh]

So far 11 views and no responses....showing my point....

I know you mean well. But putting it as you did is like .. See??

The vibe changed here long ago.. I only respond if it moves me...

I don't see OP's saying we are unfriendly... I would say the opposite..


Best consmer advocate site on the planet...

Long may it continue..

Hugs to all .. I have been fighting an illness..

 

[SB621]

I will say Yssie/ Chrono/ Toopatient that when I see other posters who I highly respect (such as yourselves)- when they/ you engage in the topic I tend to hang out a bit more and participate. I'm not sure if I am one of those people who know what they are talking about or not. I just like to throw in my .02 cents if I have something to say. But typically when I see you guys commenting I like to read the 5 paragraph response- at least I'm learning something new

 

[yssie]

Sarah you didn't even enter my mind when I was writing that. I think you and Gypsy in particular have a talent for cutting through the BS and just saying it like it IS, whatever it is... but without being unpleasant or mercenary about it. Speaking for myself - it is much appreciated