What does "being close" to your parents mean to you?

[CJ2008]

There''s been a few threads about how often we call or visit our parents, in-laws, etc.

Several people mentioned that they''re close or very close to their parents. But I bet this means different things to different people.

What does closeness mean to you/in your family? Is it an emotional, "share everything" type of closeness? Is it that you just enjoy talking to them? (I want to give a 3rd option here but can''t think of it, I''m sure there will be more!)

 

[MonkeyPants]

Yes I totally understand how closeness can mean different things to different people.

I feel very close to my immediate family (parents and siblings) but we only see each other once every few months and talk a couple times a month on the phone. Every time we do see one another we are happy, comfortable, and open with our feelings/emotions/opinions around one another. Let''s just say it''s "comforting" to be around my family (IMO anyway).

My SO''s family is "close" in a different way. His parents and siblings live withing 30 minutes from L and myself. They see each other several times a week and talk on the phone daily, however their "closeness" seems to be forced or out of obligation. We dread going to weekly dinners, phone conversations are almost always arguments, and there seems to be a lot of tongue-holding and fake politeness. Maybe it''s because I''m not blood and that''s why their "closeness" seems strange to me, but even L talks about his family like he dreads interacting with them. It''s such a strange family dynamic that I''m not used to.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

For me it means having a friendship not just a relationship as their daughter. It means always be able to turn to them in time of crisis. Knowing we are on the same team not just because we have to be but because we want to be. I am close with my parents and share probably too much with my mom. I draw the line discussing uncomfortable subjects (sex for example) or things that I know would hurt them. We do not chose our family so I feel grateful everyday I lucked out with the one I have.

 

[cellososweet]

For me it means that I would definitely still be friends with them if they weren''t my parents. They would be the older couple that my husband and I would love to hang out and listen to all of their fun life stories while sharing the same hobbies. We all love red wine, good food, blues and bluegrass, going to plays, etc. My Dad and I both love football and my husband and Mum are outdoorsy. We always have a blast and it isn''t because we''re reminiscing about the past, it''s because we are creating the present and having a ball doing it.

 

[makemepretty]

I talk to my parents every single day. They''ve been divorced since I was a teen. I also take them to the doctor if they need a ride, make them special cakes or pies for their birthday, give them advice and basically be their friend. We are close as a family.

I did post on a poll though that I do not feel it''s my responsibility to take care of them when they''re older. I moved out at 18, I view them more as friends than parents. I feel as a grown up, you''re responsible for yourself. I sometimes feel like I spent more time raising them than they did me, so in my eyes, we''re even on the whole "taking care of" spectrum.

 

[anchor31]

Friendship is a good word to describe it, for me.

 

[princesss]

Date: 9/16/2009 7:32:52 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
For me it means having a friendship not just a relationship as their daughter. It means always be able to turn to them in time of crisis. Knowing we are on the same team not just because we have to be but because we want to be. I am close with my parents and share probably too much with my mom. I draw the line discussing uncomfortable subjects (sex for example) or things that I know would hurt them. We do not chose our family so I feel grateful everyday I lucked out with the one I have.

+1.

I genuinely like my parents as people, and would choose to spend time with them even if we weren''t related. I enjoy talking with them and being around them, and I feel like there is a lot of respect between us. I don''t talk to them all the time (like I said before, *maybe* once a week), but I enjoy the time I do get to spend with them on the phone or in person.

 

[Clio]

I like hanging out with my parents, and I feel I can tell them anything (although I don''t necessarily). To me, closeness is a combination of genuinely enjoying their company and also being completely comfortable with them because I know that in any situation they would always have my best interests at heart. There is no guardedness in our relationship.