Wedding Invite Proofreading

[stephbolt]

Ok ladies, I know some of you are far better at this invite wording stuff than I am, so I would appreciate any suggestions on what I have right now.

___________________________________
Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Lastname
invite you to share in the celebration of the marriage of their daughter

Stephanie Elizabeth
and
Richard Middle Lastname

son of Mrs. Mary Lastname
Friday, the thirtieth of April,
two thousand ten
six o''clock in the evening
Bed and Breakfast Name
City, MD
Cocktails, Dinner, and Dancing to follow

__________________________________

Thanks for your help!!

 

[zipzapgirl]

I think that if you say "celebrate the marriage of their daughter Stephbolt" it should be TO, not AND. Otherwise, doesn''t it sound like there are two daughters?

Also, I think you take out the second comma here to say

"Cocktails, Dinner and Dancing to follow"

Otherwise, I think it sounds very nice

 

[stephbolt]

Thanks zipzapgirl! One of the things I was curious about was and vs. to, your explanation makes sense!

 

[caribqueen]

I agree. You need a "TO" between you and your FI''s name. AP style does not place a comma before the conjunction "AND" in the Cocktails, Dinner and Dancing sentence.

It doesn''t appear that your wedding is formal from the wording.

But FYI, if it were, I''ve seen suggestions for the following:
"....request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter...." (with a U in honour)

 

[Nov2109]

Just to throw something in, its really a matter of preference, but I would use the second comma, which is known as the oxford comma, which is preferred by the chicago manual of style.

AP style formatting is used most commonly in journalism and news reporting...

The chicago manual of style is often used in the design industry (which I work in)

Most people don''t notice things like this unless they are editors/writers/designers

So really it is whatever you like best! Either way is correct.

 

[violet3]

Date: 12/16/2009 2:41:18 PM
Author: caribqueen
I agree. You need a ''TO'' between you and your FI''s name. AP style does not place a comma before the conjunction ''AND'' in the Cocktails, Dinner and Dancing sentence.

It doesn''t appear that your wedding is formal from the wording.

But FYI, if it were, I''ve seen suggestions for the following:
''....request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter....'' (with a U in honour)

Steph,

I agree with this above, but ONLY because the rest of your invitation is written formally (ie. you wrote out the entire date and time, rather than using numbers).

My invitations were the "informal" option, so i wrote:
mr. and mrs. so and so
request the pleasure of your company
at the marraige of thier daughter
violet violet
to
mr. violet violet
December 5, 2009
5:00 PM

For yours, I would probably use "request the honour/honor of your presence at the marraige of their daughter"

i think you can go either way on the honor part, but you might want to look that up.

 

[stephbolt]

Date: 12/16/2009 3:34:49 PM
Author: violet3

Date: 12/16/2009 2:41:18 PM
Author: caribqueen
I agree. You need a ''TO'' between you and your FI''s name. AP style does not place a comma before the conjunction ''AND'' in the Cocktails, Dinner and Dancing sentence.

It doesn''t appear that your wedding is formal from the wording.

But FYI, if it were, I''ve seen suggestions for the following:
''....request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter....'' (with a U in honour)

Steph,

I agree with this above, but ONLY because the rest of your invitation is written formally (ie. you wrote out the entire date and time, rather than using numbers).

My invitations were the ''informal'' option, so i wrote:
mr. and mrs. so and so
request the pleasure of your company
at the marraige of thier daughter
violet violet
to
mr. violet violet
December 5, 2009
5:00 PM

For yours, I would probably use ''request the honour/honor of your presence at the marraige of their daughter''

i think you can go either way on the honor part, but you might want to look that up.

Thanks for your input!

I was under the impression that honour of your presence was reserved for a wedding in a house of worship, curious now if I was wrong about that. Since our wedding is not religious, I wanted to error on the side of caution and not use that one.

We did consider "request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of.." before leaning towards "share in the celebration of the marriage of..."

I''m not 100% sold on our current wording (and in fact, think it''s a little clunky with two "of"s so I would welcome any other suggestions.

 

[violet3]

Steph,

you can probably go with whichever you would like - i'm not really very good at it, so i used a template on the website, picked the informal version, and then didn't really change anything at all!

I used www.weddingpaperdivas.com - they have an online chat thingie where someone can talk to you and respond immediately to your questions. I don't think you have to buy from them to use the chat function, and someone IM'd with me immediately to answer my questions.

Good Luck !

 

[caribqueen]

For my personal invitations my parents are hosting, but we added my FI''s mother''s name to the invitation under his like this example: "son of Mrs. Carolyn Smith-Jones"

Anyway, I found these few sample wordings if Bride''s Parents host:

#1:
Because you have shared in their lives
by your friendship and love
you are invited to share with our daughter
BRIDE''S FIRST MIDDLE NAME
and
GROOM''S FIRST MIDDLE LAST NAME
when they exchange marriage vows
and begin their new life together
on DAY, the FORMAL DATE of MONTH
YEAR
at FORMAL TIME o''clock in the TIME OF DAY
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE
BRIDE''S PARENTS


#2:
BRIDE''S PARENTS
invite you to share in the joy
of the marriage uniting their daughter
BRIDE''S FIRST MIDDLE NAME
to
GROOM''S FIRST MIDDLE LAST NAME
on DAY, the FORMAL DATE of MONTH
YEAR
at FORMAL TIME o''clock in the TIME OF DAY
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE


#3:
BRIDE''S PARENTS
invite you to share in the ceremony
uniting their daughter
BRIDE''S FIRST MIDDLE NAME
to
GROOM''S FIRST MIDDLE LAST NAME
on DAY, the FORMAL DATE of MONTH
YEAR
at FORMAL TIME o''clock in the TIME OF DAY
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/16/2009 3:47:13 PM
Author: stephbolt
Thanks for your input!

I was under the impression that honour of your presence was reserved for a wedding in a house of worship, curious now if I was wrong about that. Since our wedding is not religious, I wanted to error on the side of caution and not use that one.

We did consider 'request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of..' before leaning towards 'share in the celebration of the marriage of...'

I'm not 100% sold on our current wording (and in fact, think it's a little clunky with two 'of's so I would welcome any other suggestions.

You are correct. It is incorrect to use "request the honour of your presence" for a wedding that is not held in a place of worship. The formal wording for such a wedding is "request the pleasure of your company".

Your current use of "invite you to share in the celebration of the marriage of their daughter" sounds as if you are only inviting guests to the reception (celebration) and not the actual marriage ceremony. I would not use that particular line if you are, in fact, inviting people to both the ceremony and the reception using this invitation.