Wedding Date Dilemma - Advice?

[AmberGretchen]

Hello Ladies - we''re still not officially engaged, although it is looking closer and closer. We almost have the money together, but now I am wavering on the setting (original was to have two bullet cut diamonds, .47 cttw, but I''ve sort of been drawn to the look with small rounds halfway down the sides, so will have to talk to the jeweler about that...).

So the problem is that once we do get engaged, the wedding date is tricky. We are in SF area, and I grew up here and kind of always wanted a Spring wedding because I think its so pretty here in the Spring. But, we can''t have it Spring of ''06 because that will be right before my qualifying exams. We don''t want to have it Spring of ''07 because bf will be in his first year of law school at that point (almost definitely). My quals are in early Summer/late Spring of ''06 and I definitely want the wedding after that if possible (I feel like being in grad school I need at least a year to plan, preferably a bit more, and I''m too superstitious to start officially planning until we''re officially engaged...). But I have a cousin who is getting married summer of ''06 (July) and I don''t want to get married too close to her date because I want the mutual family to be able to come to both weddings. Also, bf doesn''t want a Winter wedding and doesn''t want to wait too long.

So, what do you guys think - keep in mind the following constraints:
late Spring/early Summer ''06 Quals
July ''06 cousin''s wedding
September ''06 bf starts 1st year of law school
no Winter, and nothing before Quals...

I would greatly appreciate advice on this ladies, especially for those of you who have, plan to, or know someone who has planned a wedding around school schedules...thanks!

 

[Jennifer5973]

Can you have it in 05? I initially set a wedding date 2.5 yrs from our engagement because my husband was in law school (just starting--would NOT recommend doing it then), and got sick of waiting, moved it up a year and did it all in 4 mos--and had a first-rate wedding in the middle of his 3rd year of law school.

I''d get it done in 2005. 2nd choice is the time near your cousin''s wedding--who cares? My two brother-in-laws just got married within 4 weeks of eachother. That''s life.

 

[appletini]

He will have spring break while he''s in law school and his first semester will be the hardest, so since it will be his second semester y''all can make time for it and have the honeymoon during the spring break or wait until after finals and go before his clerkship. Then just do a lot of showers and family time over the Christmas break. Spring 2006 is very doable.

 

[goldengirl]

Here are my thoughts:

1)Talk to your cousin about it first, but, if you can have the wedding in the same general location, have it the same time as her. That way the family''s already out there for her wedding, stick around one more day and they get to go to yours.

2)End of June ''06. Although that would probably piss off your cousin.

3)August ''06. Although family is less likely to make a lengthy trip twice in two months, so you may have a smaller guest attendance.

4)Summer ''05. It''s totally do-able to plan a wedding on a short schedule.

 

[Blue824]

I''d have to agree and I''d try to move it up to 2005...I understand the whole not wanting to officially plan until you''re engaged, but if your ring is in the works that can''t be *too* far away! And it might be the easiest all around so you''re not studying and having wedding details to distract you from your studying.

If you do want to wait until 2006, my only question is, do you have a lot of out of town family/mutual friends that would be coming in for your cousin''s wedding? Because if everyone is local having it in June or August wouldnt be a problem, its just the out of towners you have to worry about. Although having it on the same weekend would be convenient for out of town guests, I know that I wouldn''t really want to share my weekend, as bratty as that makes me sound.

Have you talked to your bf about his thoughts on this? Looking at that timeline it seems so daunting, but I''m sure you two will figure out the perfect date

 

[blue_chica]

I would say go for 2005 as well, it sounds like 2006 is really overcrowded. I am sure you don''t want to be preparing for your exams and planning a wedding at the same time either.

I''m having a similar dilemma - I am thinking Aug 2006 for my wedding, and it would be a travel one in BC, where I grew up. The only prob is BF and I are soccer nuts and have been planning on going to the world cup in Germany with a bunch of friends that summer too. It might be a bit much for us to do a trip like that and then turn around and do a destination wedding, not to mention for friends to get that much vacation and $$ together for it.

 

[Libster]

Hurry up and get engaged!!!! LOL
I''m with having the wedding in 2005. Like the others have said, it sounds like there is already quite a bit going on in 2006 and I''m sure you''d like to be married sooner rather than later. With all you both have ahead of you, is 2005 a better, less stressful time to plan and wed? I love SF and think it''s beautiful all year long! Keep us posted

 

[Erin]

Anyone ever consider consulting astrology or some form of life pattern for a recommended date?

 

[honeynut]

We''re getting married on May 14th 2005 and we only got engaged officially last week! Then again, I had already picked a caterer and established a menu - just no date - I had found a photographer, and we knew that our ceremony and reception site were available: the in laws'' back yard. All we really neded to find was an officiant, a dress, and some rental equipment. I don''t think the whole thing is going to cost us more than $5000 US and I''m planning it while working full time AND going to school full time. I''ll keep you up to date on my psychological distress level as time goes by, but so far, so good

 

[Molson]

Is your bf going to be going to law school during the summers as well?? If it were me, I would most likely wait until Early Summer of 07. I''m sure it could be done in 05 though, possibly in the early fall, if you get that ring soon!!! But, if not I think 07 gives you time to enjoy being engaged and not interfere with your cousins wedding.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Hey guys - thank you so much for all the thoughts. I talked to a woman who I work with a lot in my lab and something she said kind of rang true with me - she said that she and her husband got engaged in January and married in April (in India, where her family is from, and they are both doctors!!), and she said they wished they had had more time to plan and enjoy the planning. I have to say I kind of agree with that. I''m definitely someone who likes to obsess over details and would want everything to be right and have plenty of time to make decisions and everything. So I''m leaning towards sometime in ''06. As soon as we are official (holding my breath and trying to settle for sure on how I want the ring setting to look...), I''m going to talk to everyone I know at school about it, but I think I get a lot of flexibility in scheduling my quals, such that they could be anytime between probably late May ''06 and early September ''06, so I think that gives some leeway to have them either before the wedding or far enough after that they wouldn''t interfere with my enjoyment. Plus, bf says he wants to be married before he starts law school, and so I think this will give us enough time to plan without taking forever and there should be enough weekends for me and my cousin over that summer. Also, we are going to have a reception on the East Coast as well we decided, and so if everyone can''t come to both weddings out here they should at least be able to come to that.