Vent/Rage of the day thread

[Cluless]

Jane and Kelinas sending you both ciber hugs
Patty wishing our hubby a speedy recovery
Pinto ouch! hope those toes are less sore this evening

onto my vent; I don't get people, this society we live in anymore, is it me or what. Someone please enlighten me.

This morning I went for blood tests there was 2 receptionists sitting in front. An older lady(about 75) that had finished asked one receptionist to please call her a cab, the receptionist pointed towards a phone by the front entrance and said the phone to call for a cab is there. the lady thanked her and proceeded to make the phone call, the cab company asked her for the address the old lady walked over to the first receptionist and asked her for the address since she didn't know it the first receptionist replied "I don't know the address either" so the lady walked over to the second receptionist which was sitting maybe 2 feet away from the first one and asked her for the address. This one proceeded to get up walk out around towards the phone (I that point I thought how nice of her she's gong to speak to the cab company herself) and pointed at a poster next to the phone and informed the lady that the address was on there.

WTF!! Was it to hard for the 1st receptionist to even ask her co-worker for the address if she really didn't know it. My beef I have with this is she's the freakin receptionist when someone calls, and asked where you are located what does she answer? I don't know our address?

Receptionist no. 2 was it to hard to answer the address is 1234 brick road, why did she have to be so snotty and be little the lady?

Is there no more human compassion in this freakin world? Why does it seem as though no one can be bothered to help anyone any more?

Sorry for the long rant vent over.

 

[fiona00004]

Jane and Kelinas sending you both ciber hugs
Patty wishing our hubby a speedy recovery
Pinto ouch! hope those toes are less sore this evening

onto my vent; I don't get people, this society we live in anymore, is it me or what. Someone please enlighten me.

This morning I went for blood tests there was 2 receptionists sitting in front. An older lady(about 75) that had finished asked one receptionist to please call her a cab, the receptionist pointed towards a phone by the front entrance and said the phone to call for a cab is there. the lady thanked her and proceeded to make the phone call, the cab company asked her for the address the old lady walked over to the first receptionist and asked her for the address since she didn't know it the first receptionist replied "I don't know the address either" so the lady walked over to the second receptionist which was sitting maybe 2 feet away from the first one and asked her for the address. This one proceeded to get up walk out around towards the phone (I that point I thought how nice of her she's gong to speak to the cab company herself) and pointed at a poster next to the phone and informed the lady that the address was on there.

WTF!! Was it to hard for the 1st receptionist to even ask her co-worker for the address if she really didn't know it. My beef I have with this is she's the freakin receptionist when someone calls, and asked where you are located what does she answer? I don't know our address?

Receptionist no. 2 was it to hard to answer the address is 1234 brick road, why did she have to be so snotty and be little the lady?

Is there no more human compassion in this freakin world? Why does it seem as though no one can be bothered to help anyone any more?

Sorry for the long rant vent over.

May they are people who hate their jobs... lots of people out there like that with no car for other people and no social consideration. These are type of people who would not think to move a bit to let you walk by or something like that... annoying!

 

[Kelinas]

Kelinas, I'm sure, from your posts here, that you are incapable of being a shitty friend.
It sounds to me from what you've written that she did not beat the cancer
She had no more breast cancer. Speaking with her DH, turns out they were so focused on the tumor in the breast that they overlooked the other parts. They are now fighting with the insurance company who is refusing to cover the charges for chemotherapy because "it wasn't a conventional therapy that they cover" along with refusing to pay for the red blood cell therapy that will cost him 40k if he loses.



I am sorry for your loss; you've had too much recently. Perhaps your friend wanted you to remember the balance of your friendship and not her end time.

This is an understatement. 9 days after my friend died, a high school "sister" (upperclassmen) passed away very suddenly. She was diagnosed with 3 types of cancers ast once and had to maintain a full time job tho keep her insurance despite harrowing chemo. Then a few months ago, was told she had lesions in her brain. It's like she couldn't get a break.
She went in the hospital for severe kidney infections and while getting treatment, something went wrong and she was placed into a medically induced coma. The specialists stated that waking her from it would only intensify her pain, so they waited until her mother flew in from Korea to say get farewell and took her off life support.

So 2 people, from fast paced aggressive cancer, passed with 2 weeks of each other.
Now there are a bunch of people I grew up with freaking out that there may be a connection with my hometown because how many people have gotten cancer.
(Total being 8 - 3 passed away, 5 are currently in remission)
Long post sorry.

 

[Kelinas]

Sorry for all the typos, my phone hates me.

 

[Jambalaya]

Walking from point A to point B in the living room, I managed to stub two of my toes this morning, and they still ache a bit. grr...

Slippers, my friend, the answer is slippers! It's amazing how they not only keep your feet warm but have protected my feet on numerous occasions around the house, like remains of broken glass, inexplicably splayed furniture feet, etc.

 

[VRBeauty]

So tired of the use of the term "hack" for tips and tricks. Back in my day, we used to call them Hints from Heloise!

 

[stracci2000]

So tired of the use of the term "hack" for tips and tricks. Back in my day, we used to call them Hints from Heloise!

Yes, Yes!!!!
What the f*ck is a hack?? Stop with the hipster lingo! Not all of us are 20-somethings!! Egads!

 

[TooPatient]

Just got ANOTHER failing grade on a midterm in one of my math classes. I'd think it was me having issues except that I have been getting 100% on all the quizzes and the class average for both exams have been right about 50%

Woo hoo. Down to a C in the class and dreading what the next exam will do. I have another class with the department head. I think I may just mention in passing and see what she says. I don't want to get into formal complaints. Hoping she can just quietly deal with this. The guy is New and is a pretty lousy teacher. We've all been using other resources to learn the material. He has also no showed a couple of times and has been bringing his sick toddler to work with him.

Good news is I just got a B on a challenging engineering exam!

 

[lambskin]

Too Patient-I give you so much credit for doing such hard math. I can not do math and it has stunted me in so many ways. We are making sure that our girls know how to do math -and understand it. Since it is a new teacher I would talk to that teacher first to see what the class situation is- if that seems useless I would talk to the department head.

 

[TooPatient]

Too Patient-I give you so much credit for doing such hard math. I can not do math and it has stunted me in so many ways. We are making sure that our girls know how to do math -and understand it. Since it is a new teacher I would talk to that teacher first to see what the class situation is- if that seems useless I would talk to the department head.

Thanks!

I can't say it has been easy. I started in math 99 (not even college level) and have struggled my way through calculus (1-4), linear algebra, and am now in calculus 5 and differential equations..... again

Have you looked at Khan Academy? It is great! Love the way the practice you on everything and have videos & hints to help. Everything from kindergarten on up through all of calculus.

This guy has taught a couple of things before but is still pretty new. I think this is his second quarter at this school. He mentioned in class one day last week that someone had said he talked too fast and wrote too small so it was a bit hard to understand him at times. His suggestion was to sit closer to the front if you had trouble reading his writing and if you think he talks too fast then you should go home and try to speak slowly because it is too hard for him to bother with. (he does write too small, off in the corners where you can't see it, and then stands in front of the board)

He has also made such great explanations as "I feel like this is just too simple to even bother explaining. I want to just say 'You should just understand!' because it is so easy."

We've had two exams so far this quarter and both had a class average of about 50% (failing grade). People have been talking before class and are not happy with how things are going. Bunches of us get 100% on our quizzes only to end up failing the big points exams. A couple of people did talk to him privately after the first but nothing happened to help on the second.

The department head is a sweet woman who happens to teach another class I'm in. She prefers to hear about stuff quietly so she can make suggestions to the newer teachers rather than have official complaints that don't let her deal with it as easily. I'm hoping to just mention quietly to her (I've never done this before but she has asked my opinion and requested I pass on concerns quietly before they become official issues.) so she can help the guy and not have him end up in trouble. Not sure what else to do. I can manage challenging material. I'm even willing to acknowledge that I didn't understand and got a lousy score (it has happened before!) but it seems like something is wrong if much of the class is having the same problem.

 

[monarch64]

TP: your teacher sounds so amateur-ish! That's really unfortunate. I'm glad your department head is at least willing to listen. Reminds me of when I was in college and several of us took our grievances to the Dean. Of course we went to the Head of the Department first, but that was a fruitless adventure, so we had to go above her. So sorry you are dealing with this! I hope your department head helps you figure something out. It's not cool at all to pay for education and be deprived of actual learning. I know you've been working towards your goals/degree for awhile now, and I'd really hate to see any setbacks. Take care!

 

[PattyCo]

Clueless, I am sorry that the elderly lady was treated to terribly. Ageism in action, I suppose.

PintoBean and Fi Z, I hope those tootsies are healing up nicely.

Kelinas, my condolences on the loss of your friend.

TooPatient, I am not a math-brained person and I am so impressed with your accomplishments! I hope that a talk with this professor will get to the bottom of why your overall grade is so different from what it seems it should be.

 

[TooPatient]

It is after midnight. My mother called at 10 pm. My brother was in the emergency room. Found passed out drunk in front of a brewery. 20 minutes from us and an hour or more from her.

So I just picked my little brother up from the hospital, cleaned the empty (and urine filled) bottles out of his car, and drove him back to where he lives with my grandparents (over an hour away).

Know what I found when I got there with him? My mother is falling down drunk. She had been sitting there drinking vodka. Could barely stand. Grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I had to threaten to use my pepper spray if she didn't get het hands off me.

My grandfather won't let either of them in the house that way so they are sleeping in a camper in the driveway.

We lost one uncle just over a year ago and the other one year (to the day) before that..... To alcohol poisoning/scirrocis. So, yes, my grandfather is beyond angry.

DH driving me home now. He was good enough to follow in our car.


Happy 30th b-day to me. What a great start to my birthday.

 

[junebug17]

I'm so sorry TP, I know from personal experience it's very upsetting to deal with something like this, addiction is very damaging to everyone involved and such a complicated issue. I hope one day your mother and brother decide to get help. Until then, I don't think there's anything anyone can do. How tough for your grandfather to have to deal with this. Hugs, I hope you can put this out of your mind for now and try to enjoy your day a little. Happy Birthday, and (((hugs))).

 

[chemgirl]

I have a very ignorant coworker. All of the office drama surrounds this one woman. She has routinely made up lies about people I'm friendly with outside of work (went as far as spreading a rumor that a friend raped another employee, both parties deny it).

Well today a colleague was venting to me about a difficult client who doesn't seem to understand simple procedures/rules. Annoying coworker walks up and says "What an idiot. What race is he?"

I said "I don't see why that's relevant" and reported it to her supervisor. Her supervisor groaned and said I should just ignore her.

Not OK! Really not OK!

She is a vile human being.

The crazy part is that we work in polar opposite departments. She has no reason to talk to me at all.

 

[fiona00004]

Dammit my car broke down yesterday and I need to dish out more $$ to keep it going until I find out which new model I want to purchase...thing is, my new job that I am starting in 10 days requires a car so it's not like I can take public transportation in the meantime...I have been wanting to have this car replaced for awhile...have put in well over 2000$ since last summer to fix it so that it can function but damn...cars are expensive!!

And this is fixing it so that it runs...not for maintenance nor aesthetic purposes either!!

 

[TooPatient]

"A" just brought me a pair of her pants and said "Look. These ones have a really big hole." Yep. A big clean slice. No way was it an accident or just worn out. These are I, beautiful condition otherwise. No visible wear anywhere (as it should be as they are less than a year old and were one of 12 pairs in her dresser)

She has been intentionally trashing her clothes because she wants new. She got some New to start the school year on top of some new over summer and some New last spring and....
We tend to do clothes for her every quarter or so rather than all at the start of school so she is always rotating in New and not stuck with stuff that is worn out or doesn't fit.

She isn't happy with this. Feels that she should have ALL new wardrobe multiple times per year plus more as she wants. (She does get a bit of money every two weeks so can buy the occasional thing she wants above the substantial wardrobe we keep refreshing)

Grrrrrrrr.....

(You would think she would learn, we don't replace intentionally trashed stuff.)

 

[pregcurious]

I am getting annoyed with stuff, and in turn am trying to immerse myself in my gemstone setting choices. Sigh. I appreciate PS.

I'm tired of my parents being dead. My mom never got to see my kids. I wasn't even 35 when my parents were both gone. It's been over 5 years. Isn't this supposed to get easier? Why.

 

[TooPatient]

I am getting annoyed with stuff, and in turn am trying to immerse myself in my gemstone setting choices. Sigh. I appreciate PS.

I'm tired of my parents being dead. My mom never got to see my kids. I wasn't even 35 when my parents died. It's been over 5 years. Isn't this supposed to get easier? Why.

Sending you big hugs. I have both of my parents but was closer to my grandmother than to either of my parents. Losing her was so very hard. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling having lost both of your parents.

If you haven't seen it, there is a great thread here in Hangout: LINK

 

[pregcurious]

Sending you big hugs. I have both of my parents but was closer to my grandmother than to either of my parents. Losing her was so very hard. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling having lost both of your parents.

If you haven't seen it, there is a great thread here in Hangout: LINK

Thanks, TooPatient. I never had the proper time to grieve because I had my first child a few months after my mom passed away, and before my dad passed away. I was working full time (still am), and just trying to get through life. Now I have 2 kids. All my friends have their parents still, so they're just uncomfortable and avoid the topic. My husband is great, but he has both parents and doesn't understand.

 

[missy]

Sending you gentle (((hugs))) pregcurious. I'm so sorry you lost your parents at a young age.

 

[junebug17]

I'm so sorry for your losses pregcurious - a very hard and sad thing, 35 is just too young…sending thoughts of comfort and healing to you.

 

[azstonie]

I am getting annoyed with stuff, and in turn am trying to immerse myself in my gemstone setting choices. Sigh. I appreciate PS.

I'm tired of my parents being dead. My mom never got to see my kids. I wasn't even 35 when my parents were both gone. It's been over 5 years. Isn't this supposed to get easier? Why.

Pregcurious, I'm sorry you are going through this. I understand from my two friends whose mothers died when they were 17 that you re-grieve the loss at milestone events in life---marriage, becoming a parent yourself, etc. I'm glad you have a loving spouse to support you through this. Its too bad your friends are uncomfortable about this. Did any of them know your parents? I think its a kindness when you can remember someone's relative with them. They might think they could hurt you if they tried. If you are particularly close to one of your friends, perhaps you could ask them to talk with you about your mom and dad? Sometimes we have to ask for what we need. I think about my grandparents all the time, they are very real to me. My uncle and aunt did not come to the graveside service for my grandmother and I felt very let down by them.

I hope you are feeling better very soon.

 

[KaeKae]

I am getting annoyed with stuff, and in turn am trying to immerse myself in my gemstone setting choices. Sigh. I appreciate PS.

I'm tired of my parents being dead. My mom never got to see my kids. I wasn't even 35 when my parents were both gone. It's been over 5 years. Isn't this supposed to get easier? Why.

Pregcurious, I'm sorry you are going through this. I understand from my two friends whose mothers died when they were 17 that you re-grieve the loss at milestone events in life---marriage, becoming a parent yourself, etc. I'm glad you have a loving spouse to support you through this. Its too bad your friends are uncomfortable about this. Did any of them know your parents? I think its a kindness when you can remember someone's relative with them. They might think they could hurt you if they tried. If you are particularly close to one of your friends, perhaps you could ask them to talk with you about your mom and dad? Sometimes we have to ask for what we need. I think about my grandparents all the time, they are very real to me. My uncle and aunt did not come to the graveside service for my grandmother and I felt very let down by them.

I hope you are feeling better very soon.

I hope you don't mind my quoting you, azstonie. You said so much of what I am thinking, and said it so well.

pregcurious, I, too, lost my parents, far too young. I was 13 when mom died ad 29 when my father died. They have missed so, so much. Graduations, weddings, grandchildren (who they would have adored, my girls have so much in common with my mother, too.) I think that sometimes it does get better, but as azstonie said, milestones and other moments can bring the emotions to the surface again. I talk about them quite a bit, in order to keep them alive, in memories. S and K have been hearing about Grandma M and Grandpa J their whole lives. I also "talk" to them, especially Mom, quite a bit. Including the ever popular, "you sent me this child, didn't you??? What did I do to deserve this one???" Just a little joke between me and her. Also as azstonie suggested, when I am with or talking to old friends and family, I talk about them then. It's good to be able to share with some one who remembers, too.

 

[pregcurious]

Thanks, Missy, Junebug for your message and good wishes.

AZstonie, everything you said resonated with me. It is especially true that I grieve with each milestone.

Kaekae, thanks for sharing your story with me My husband knew my parents, so he has been a great help when talking about them. I moved from where I grew up, so there aren't any people here, besides my husband, who knows my parents. Also, my friends didn't know them well. My dad was sick since I was in middle school, so I never really got close to any friends. I spent a lot of my time pretending I was fine around people, which means no one really knew me. I've tried to become better about sharing things with people, but I still have a lot of acquaintances, and very few close friends.

 

[JanesJewels]

Pregcurious and KaeKae:

I am deeply sorry for your losses. You were both way too young to lose both parents. I am so sorry. I lost my mother 11 months ago and although she was my main parent so this was the worst loss, I tremble at the thought of my dad going also. I think you have both done very well to come through your losses. As my grief booklet from the hospital says, just getting through certain days is an achievement.

Pregcurious, you wrote about your peer group not understanding. I just wanted to let you know that this has also been my exact experience. Every single person I know has two healthy parents. I literally don't know anyone who has lost their mother or traveled a journey of terminal illness in the family. (I was 39 when she died but she first became sick when I was 24.) Therefore, sadly, judgement and hurtful comments have been the order of the day. It hasn't even been a year yet and you wouldn't believe the hurtful remarks over the past year. They have affected me greatly, and what may seem an innocent remark to someone else amounts to a grieving setback for me. For this reason socializing has been very difficult and so I don't bother with some people now, because it's just too hurtful. Grief has rewritten my address book and re-landscaped my social life.

I gravitate toward people who have experienced some kind of loss, because only they get it. It really is like a secret club. As one writer said, "The bereaved cannot communicate with the unbereaved." Personally, I have found this to be true. Maybe there's a support group you can join? I recently get a book called "Losing Your Parents, Finding Your Self" and I haven't read it yet, but it looks good. There are a number of books for people who have lost parents in adulthood.

There is a name for the experience of people trying to rush you through your grieving process. It's called disenfranchised grief. People are very quick to dismiss the death of an adult's parent, and also I've heard women who have suffered miscarriages say that their losses are often dismissed rather quickly, too. I've also read that people who lose a sibling have felt pressure to recover and that many don't understand the depth of the loss, or understand that these things reverberate for a long time. Say, the due date of the child that was lost, or the strange time when a younger sibling becomes older than a deceased older sibling. Many people, even those close to the bereaved, simply just don't want to know. Many, many people lack empathy, patience, and wisdom. Death has been a real eye-opener on that score, about how shallow many people really are. (Until it happens to them, of course.) There is definitely a hierarchy of loss in our society, and the particular circumstances of an individual's loss don't seem to make much difference to that hierarchy. And comparing losses is extremely bad form. All loved ones are precious and all losses to death hurt like hell.

It always makes me wonder how certain people will like their feelings to be minimized and dismissed during the worst times of their lives, as will surely happen to them when it's their turn.

No one ever says this, but unless you're fortunate enough not to suffer any loss until later in life - when most around you have lost - grief is very lonely. But you're not alone in your grief here, either of you. Hugs xxxx

 

[Polished]

It always makes me wonder how certain people will like their feelings to be minimized and dismissed during the worst times of their lives, as will surely happen to them when it's their turn.

I think it can be difficult when you are in a grieving state, feel vulnerable and crave understanding from others to realize what effect your state might have on others. I lost my mother when I was 33, a year after I had had my first child. We were exceptionally close and so enjoyed sharing all the same things. What followed was some of the worst experiences with my mother-in-law I hadn't thought would be possible. She'd say things like, "it's alright for you, you've got your own child, it's your father ....". She didn't know what the relationship dynamics in our family even were. It was like she wanted to take control of my feelings and dictate to me how I should be responding to my loss. And I didn't even spill my guts in front of her; I tried to make a concerted effort to stay strong but people pick up on things nonetheless.

Twenty years have passed and recently we lost my mother-in-law. I think I grieved, if you could call it that, for a full 20 seconds. With the benefit of hindsight and also with me in a strong situation with my life now, I can look at her response to my loss with more empathy and compassion. She really struggled with her relationship with her own daughter and they never shared much of a bond, although they did keep in contact and do things for each other. As it came out later she had also had a very fraught relationship with her own mother, a feisty but rather hard woman (she herself had had a very tough life). I think now she felt somewhat afraid of my grief. A sort of dread that someone had had something that she didn't and wasn't ever going to know anything about. JaneJewels sometimes the worst times of people's lives when they experience a death, isn't the worst time because they haven't experienced the best.

Postscript - my mother-in-law both adored and admired my first born daughter (who is one hell of a girl). They shared a special bond so hey she didn't miss out on that grandmother/daughter thing after all. I visited my MIL as she lay dying in hospital and one time just before the end, she looked up at me and said, "Siggy?" (my daughter), I held her hand and said, "yes".

 

[JanesJewels]

Thanks, Polished. Yes, it's always helpful to consider others' feelings, even during the darkest days of your life when you can barely get out of bed, because it helps with perspective, which is all-important.

 

[JanesJewels]

It's one thing that you're a cruel, uncaring *******. It's one thing that despite having been best friends for 38 years, you haven't called, emailed or written once in the ten months since my lovely mom died. I don't even care that you dropped me like a hot brick the day she died and haven't bothered with me since, not even when I turned 40, not even when I expressed my grief in an email, and not even on the first Christmas without her. I don't care that despite Mom having been kind to you your whole childhood, and despite eating at our table all those years while we were growing up, you couldn't come to the funeral even though you have six weeks' vacation. Oh, yeah - remember when you slept with our mutual friend's fiance and you lost every friend in town except me, who stood by you because I believed in you? I don't care, because you know what? Karma is a pre-menstrual so-and-so who must be royally pissed off with you by now, so you'll be getting yours one day.

The thing I really can't stand about you?

That you think "hisself" is a word, and you're unable to conjugate the verb "to be". The sentence "We was going to the park" is also not a sentence.

Did you know that the last time we met, you punctuated literally every other sentence with "if ya know wha' ah mean"? Yes, actually, when you said you liked the wine or that you were going to the bathroom I did, in fact, know exactly what you meant. There's no need to check one hundred times in an evening.

At least you no longer embarrass me in public with your "interesting" dialect.

Even more interesting is that your pre-Higgins Eliza speech never bothered me before you treated me so terribly during major bereavement and I barely noticed it. But now I just think you're a gutter-dwelling pathetic little urchin with two brain cells and a mouth to match. I should have dumped you like the rest of the town when you alley-catted around with your friend's man - not once, but a handful of times. And what had she ever done to you, may I ask? Nothing, she was lovely, and you took her man.

Bitch. The word doesn't seem to cover it.

Soooooo, your mother suffered a "massive near-fatal" heart attack at the beginning of March, according to your email. Well, I knew karma was a bitch. I didn't know she was also a fast worker.

But your mom's alive and doing well. She'll be fine, which I'm glad about because I like your mom.

 

[JanesJewels]

Edit: And it was so nice to get an email from you after a year of silence after Mom died. At least you feel you can still reach out to me. It's sad to see so many older married couples coming to the end of their roads together.