urgent need for baby stuff

[TooPatient]

My boss wants to get the basic stuff needed for a baby for his pregnant daughter but has a pretty tight budget. Her due date is 3/28. She is 40 years old and used who-knows-what drugs and alcohol during the first 4+ months of pregnancy (and before). She's currently living in her foreclosed condo with nothing. He's been buying her food/basic stuff for the last year and much of what he buys gets stollen/pawned.

Anyway... very long, sad story but Boss is trying to do the best he can to help his daughter.

What are the absolute necessities that she'll need for a new baby? Suggestions of where to buy and/or any sales/coupons you know of would be greatly appreciated too.
For now, he's focusing on just the new-baby stuff and will get additional stuff as needed as the baby grows.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

The baby needs an infant car seat, safe place to sleep, diapers, and possible bottles and formula if the mother is unable to BF. Clothes can be bought at secondhand shops. I would buy the car seat new.

 

[somethingshiny]

Ditto Tacori. Some fire stations or other car seat safety check points offer free new seats too.

Target's Up and Up brand diapers are the best off brands, IMO. Boss can sign up for all sorts of coupons from Enfamil, Similac, Pampers, Huggies, etc. Just go to any baby site and the list for sign ups is endless.

If mom is really in dire straits, WIC will probably be made available to her. It'll provide her with some food for the rest of the pregnancy and 6 mo post partum. It'll provide formula if she needs it and then solid foods as baby gets bigger. If she bf's she can get tons of extra solids and stuff.

Also check into the local Closet type places. The people at the WIC office can help with that too. She can get a voucher to go in and get a free load of clothes for herself and the baby.

 

[fieryred33143]

Ditto Tacori. He can find an inexpensive crib at places like ikea. Need a car seat, clothes, diapers, and feeding (bottles and possibly formula).

 

[Pandora II]

My father would empathise with your boss! My youngest sister found out she was pregnant at 7 months and ditto to the Class D meds, drugs, alcohol etc. She's now living at my parents with her little boy.

She had lots of testing and the baby is 100% healthy - he was also 9.5lbs so not a low-birth weight baby either. So the baby may well be fine.

I gave my sister most of my baby stuff so she didn't do too badly.

Things you don't need:

Changing table
Baby Bath - the sink works great!
Diaper Genie or similar
Expensive bedding

My essentials would be

Car Seat (new)
Sling - Moby or Mei Tai, then she won't need a stroller for at least the first 6 months
Crib with a new mattress - unless she wants to co-sleep which is a no no if she smokes, drinks or does drugs.
Diapers
Bottles and possibly a hand breast pump
Clothes
Towels
Sleep sack or blanket

Ebay is brilliant for baby stuff. Other than my stroller and carseat everything I bought for Daisy was either second-hand or a bargain on eBay, I hate to spend money where I don't need to!

 

[TooPatient]

Thanks for the info everyone.

I'm going to look into all of this and pass suggestions onto Boss. He has only the one daughter so it's been about 40 years since he had much of anything to do with a baby.

Pandora -- your list is great and I almost forgot about e-bay!

 

[Mara]

eBay is a GREAT place for clothes. you can look by size and get a huge lot of clothes for very cheap. also i would ask around, chances are you or people you know have friends who have clothes they would be happy to toss in to help. and many of the baby essentials are unisex.

craigs list is great for deals (but i wouldn't buy a car seat on there) like strollers, toys, and ikea has great deals, cribs for $99, tables, dressers, etc. if she can get a hand me down infant seat from someone that she/he trusts (so it hasn't been in an accident) it would be ideal as they are only used for 6-7mo and are pretty much brand new most times.

lastly, marshalls, tjmaxx and ross have baby items at huge discounts... i shopped there while preg and they had things like playmats, toys, carseats, a boppy, etc all at 50% off retail. it's just overstock stuff from bigger stores. also they have cheap clothes items like you can get a pack of washclothes for $1.50, 5 pack baby bodysuits for $3.00, a playmat for $14, etc etc. def have him check it out and all of it is brand new. it's where i get most of my baby shower gifts.

 

[taovandel]

I just knew Mara would find herself over on this thread!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Forget coupons, that baby needs a stable parent and home. If she's selling food, and other stuff he's giving her then what do you think will happen with this baby stuff? She should sign up for WIC and he can check Craigslist and Freecycle for second hand baby clothes and gear.

Things she will need:
a car seat
Diapers
Wipes
Desitin or other diaper rash cream
a place for baby to sleep (I don't know if I'd want the baby sleeping in bed with her if she's a user/abuser)
baby clothes in NB or 0-3 size
Formula (if she's not BFing and I have a feeling she wont be BFing)
Bottles and extra bottle parts

 

[pennquaker09]

BabyGap sale racks can be AMAZING. Some of the stuff at regular price can be kind of $$$.

 

[TooPatient]

Forget coupons, that baby needs a stable parent and home. If she's selling food, and other stuff he's giving her then what do you think will happen with this baby stuff? She should sign up for WIC and he can check Craigslist and Freecycle for second hand baby clothes and gear.

Things she will need:
a car seat
Diapers
Wipes
Desitin or other diaper rash cream
a place for baby to sleep (I don't know if I'd want the baby sleeping in bed with her if she's a user/abuser)
baby clothes in NB or 0-3 size
Formula (if she's not BFing and I have a feeling she wont be BFing)
Bottles and extra bottle parts

I couldn't agree more. I've actually warned him of this (which is part of why he's only looking at the essentials and not buying for the coming months).

He's hoping that she'll agree to put the baby up for adoption so that he/she can have a happy (stable!) life with someone who's willing & able to care for him/her. She's not currently willing to consider that and insists she can care for her own baby (and seems to have some crazy idea that the "father" will come around (when he gets out of jail) and help). The one bit of good news is that with all of her legal drama this last year she's being monitored closely (including mandatory counseling & medical care).

Not sure what else can be done for her or the baby at this point other that trying to make sure she has what she needs right now. I've offered to watch the baby while I'm at the office any time she needs to do something (or just take a break for a few hours) in hopes that she'll take me up on the offer instead of hauling an infant to the mall or out in the rain or to visit some of her "friends".


Just a couple of weeks to go...
She's going in for a c-section on 3/24.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

TP, we all know what a caring and compassionate person you are and that's commendable, really. But I have to ask, why are you taking on the challenge of helping them so much?

 

[TooPatient]

TP, we all know what a caring and compassionate person you are and that's commendable, really. But I have to ask, why are you taking on the challenge of helping them so much?

I hate to see kids in bad situations. Maybe I'm a little sensitive to what the kids of alcoholics have to go through after how I was raised?

On a less selfless note...
Boss writes my check. If the stress of this kills him (he had to go in just a couple of months ago for more heart surgery), I'm left with only the other guy writing a check and facing the strong possibility of having hours cut substantially.
(Boss is about 70 years old, high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea, already had a handful of heart attacks, got more stints than I can remember, and has gone to the emergency room several times in the last couple of months after getting upset about something his daughter did/said)

 

[Diamond.Lover]

Please don't take this too negatively, but if you're worried about your boss, and his health, perhaps talking about his personal life isn't the best idea. I know it's technically anonymous but you've given quite a bit of information that someone might be able to figure it out. If I were in this situation (or your boss), and found out you were doing this, I would be very upset! And probably looking for a new employee. You could have asked the same question without the back history.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be nasty. I'm just a pretty private person and would be furious if I found out my, and my family's, dirty laundry was being talked about on the internet, especially by someone I trusted with private details.

However, it's very thoughtful of you to be concerned. It seems as if there is a need to be. Good luck with everything!