upgrade - but what will hubby think?

[lotsagems]

I would love to upgrade my ering, but I think my husband will be hurt and feel like I don''t like or appreciate the one he originally picked? thoughts?

 

[diamondfan]

It is hard to say without knowing him, but I think most men''s first instinct is to be upset. That does not mean they do not warm to the idea later, but certainly at first I think most men feel a bit hurt. If you handle it well, I think it all can work out fine! Really also depends on your finances, and what you are planning to get and what you plan to do with your old ring.

 

[3shebabes]

Hi there! I completely understand! I began posting on PS back in September when I was pining for an e-ring upgrade for my 10th anniversary. My husband had conveniently "ignored" my subtle hints on the subject, so I pretty much just had to come right out and tell him that I''d like an upgrade. Things had changed so much financially since we were married (for the better, I''m happy to say)that it seemed reasonable to me and of course I told him what he already knew about me...that I wasn''t a clothes-freak, I don''t care about driving fancy cars, etc -- but I was always totally overwhelmed by beautiful diamonds. He at first did act a tad offended and said he''d "never want to change his ring..." and things like that. But he came around pretty quickly...and gave me my upgraded stone for my b-day (Sept 22). I spent months searching for the type of setting I wanted and finally settled on a 3/4 eternity-style set, in platinum, which is being custom-made at this moment. I had so hoped it''d be ready by Valentine''s day -- but no such luck! I am so excited and anxious -- and so glad I came right out and told him that I''d love an upgrade. As for my original diamond (a 1 carat pear) he seemed horrified at the thought of selling it or trading it - so I told him I may have it set as a pendant, but even if not -- we have 3 little girls so I figured at least one of them might need/want to use it as part of an engagement ring one day..especially if she & her intended are impoverished grad students or something! A free diamond, with a sentimental history might be nice...but I digress!

My advice is to be honest...and don''t bring up a subject like this at a bad time. I made that mistake the first time -- starting that conversation when he was tired after a long day at work. Not the best time! Maybe bring it up after a nice dinner in a restaurant when you are both relaxed and maybe in a bit of a romantic mood anyway...

I know it feels awkward and touchy and the very topic can make men feel threatened, as if what they gave you originally isn''t good enough or doesn''t mean anything to you...but most of them get over it I think. Mine did..and now I know he''s excited to see my final upgraded set any day now. I think he''ll be proud for me to show it off..even though I doubt he''d admit that to anyone...

Good luck! Remember -- you''re not doing anything wrong -- you''re just sharing how you feel...

 

[Jenn5504]

I think 3shebabes set it very well! I wish you luck. I''m sure once your hubby realizes that it is something that would make you happy then he''ll come around.

 

[lotsagems]

thank you 3shebabes! I will think about it....my husband is so sensitive, I hope he won''t take it personally, but you have described it better than I could have!