Update: Good and Bad

[Ashley21]

After talking with BF I know new information which makes me feel better about an upcoming proposal but disappointed and angry at the situation.

After purchasing a setting with BF almost a year and a half ago, I was anticipating a proposal soon. I figured we had a few main events coming up this year: Christmas, New Years, Valentines, my birthday in April, I graduated at the beginning of this May, and our 5 year anniversary was at the end of this May. Sadly enough, each event passed without a proposal.

I was getting a little worried since we had talked about getting married around next summer. After biting my tongue for a month, BF new something was bothering me and asked me to tell him. So I did. He said he was glad I said something because there was an issue.

We purchased the setting and matching band (from Shane Co.) for almost $1000 with tax a year and a half ago. As we are both college students we have a very small budget. We could not afford a diamond either so I suggested a simulant, at least temporarily until we could afford to put a real stone in it.

When I talked to BF this weekend he said he actually purchased **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies**. He proceeded to take it to Shane Co. to have it set. They said it would be $300 to set it since we didn't get a stone from them and $100 to change the head for a v-prong setting. They also said if we got it set somewhere else, it would void our warranty. Of course, BF did not have that much money in his bank account.

So the options are save all summer and try to pay for the $400 to set it, or possibly have it set somewhere else and get insurance on it from Jewelers Mutual. The entire ring is worth $1500 or less and I don't think insurance would cost that much. I'm not sure what our best option is or what the cheapest option is. By doing it somewhere else we would have to pay for an appraisal, setting, new head, yearly cleanings and inspections, and insurance. I'm not sure if that cost would be less than the $400 from Shane Co., but when I think about it, the insurance might cover more than Shane Co. would based on what I've read on their website and reviews.

So the good news is BF is trying to get it all together and still wants to get married next year. Bad news is we're stuck and not sure what to do.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

$300 to set? That's outrageous!

What does the warrenty include? Is this something you had to pay extra for or did it "come" with the purchase?

 

[Indylady]

I''d forfeit their warranty and have it set elsewhere. Assuming its fairly well made, it should hold up fine. I don''t think outside insurance will cost that much if you choose to get it.

 

[trillionaire]

Not to be a debbie downer, but how are you going to pay for a wedding if you don''t have $300-400 for a ring? We''re eloping, and even that is expensive, relative to just going to the courthouse. We are opting to do a honeymoon next year, because this economy is unpredicatable, and it''s more important for us to have savings than a honeymoon at this moment.

...just food for thought...

 

[JSM]

How many times do people around here say that if you want to get married, all it takes is a few dollars for a license and a JOP? A wedding does not a marriage make.

Or, perhaps a parent has money set aside for a wedding fund?


Even if they don''t, if they want to get married without much money, that is their decision. We eloped because that was all we could afford. Heck, to be honest I don''t think I have $400 in my bank account at the moment either! But DH and I are working, putting our money towards our bills, and are HAPPY. Money certainly makes things much easier, but it doesn''t buy you happiness.

Rant over.

 

[slg47]

just a thought...

instead of paying $400 to set the ring and $150 for diamond simulant...

you could get a small diamond that comes with an upgrade policy, so that you can trade it in later if you decide

0.31 ct, $390

james allen I believe requires you to spend 2x to upgrade

0.4 ct

this one is more but is from good old gold and has their lifetime guarantee, which comes with a better upgrade policy.

anyway just a thought! i''m glad you talked to your bf about this, otherwise it can get sort of stressful

 

[Miss Sparkly]

**Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies** I'm sure you'll enjoy it

With the small diamond, you still run into the issue of Shane Co wanting so much to set it

I would take it to a local jeweler and have it set, honestly it sounds like a sales tatic to buy both from their store, and no matter how you slice it you can't afford a diamond from Shane Co. (there's nothing wrong with that). Can you post pics of your setting? I'm curious to see what it looks like

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 6/20/2010 6:48:17 PM
Author: jsm
How many times do people around here say that if you want to get married, all it takes is a few dollars for a license and a JOP? A wedding does not a marriage make.

Or, perhaps a parent has money set aside for a wedding fund?


Even if they don''t, if they want to get married without much money, that is their decision. We eloped because that was all we could afford. Heck, to be honest I don''t think I have $400 in my bank account at the moment either! But DH and I are working, putting our money towards our bills, and are HAPPY. Money certainly makes things much easier, but it doesn''t buy you happiness.

Rant over.

She seems a bit out of sorts about not getting married soon enough, and says that it will take an entire summer to pay for a $400 ring. Between two people, this seems a little thread bare in the financial department. If they were going to the JOP and paying $30 to get married, and another $50 on simple bands, that''s one thing... but she is talking about a wedding. I asked a fair question, IMO.

It could be that they have no spending cash because they are saving so diligently, in which case, I applaud them and their fiscal savvy and responsibility.

 

[slg47]

300 setting fee plus 100 seems WAY steep. (I purchased a diamond locally and am getting it set by BGD for $75). What exactly does the warranty cover?

Also for JM if the item is under 5000, a receipt is ALL you need for insurance, you don''t need an appraisal. I just checked, and the insurance is about 30 bucks per year for JM for an item that is 1500.

but yes, as someone else said, please post a pic of your band!!! would love to see

 

[vc10um]

Just a thought...I've noticed you said part of the fee is to "change the head for a v-prong setting"...

Does that mean the head on the setting you've purchased is for a round diamond, and he's purchased a princess, marquise, or pear **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies** to go in it? If so, a lot of the setting cost is to change out the head.

Perhaps, if there is still time, he can return the **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies**, and you can purchase a round or upgradable diamond like slg suggested, and then change over to your preferred fancy shape when you're more financially stable? Just a thought!

Best of luck!

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 6/21/2010 7:43:10 AM
Author: vc10um
Just a thought...I've noticed you said part of the fee is to 'change the head for a v-prong setting'...



Does that mean the head on the setting you've purchased is for a round diamond, and he's purchased a princess, marquise, or pear **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies** to go in it? If so, a lot of the setting cost is to change out the head.



Perhaps, if there is still time, he can return the **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies**, and you can purchase a round or upgradable diamond like slg suggested, and then change over to your preferred fancy shape when you're more financially stable? Just a thought!



Best of luck!

My thoughts as well. They are not just setting it, they are replacing head. $300 is not unreasonable. I have to get a new head for a bigger stone of same shape and it will be $450 for a new platinum head.

I would suggest either getting an **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies** that fits into the current head or being prepared to have to spend some money wherever you go to get a new head. You may be able to find a place to replace it for a little less but no guarantee there.

 

[Ashley21]

Thank you all for posting! I definitely need the advice and support to figure this out. I do not have an actual picture of the setting as I have not seen it since we got it. And I never got to see the **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies** either but BF said he was impressed.

Sparkley Blonde - the warranty came with the purchase of a setting and was not any additional money. It includes: "We shall clean, polish, examine prongs, provide services and regular maintenance needed due to normal wear (including retipping) on your Shane Co. jewelry free of charge for as long as you own your jewelry ... This warranty does not apply to lost, stolen or abused merchandise"

Trillionaire - we are both graduate college students responsible for rent, food, books, etc. We both have jobs and do well to save money when we can (we do have an emergency fund but have decided to try and find a way to not dip into it). We will both graduate next year and join the workforce. My parents have saved a little money for a small wedding at my church. We have wanted to get married for a couple years and would rather pinch our pennies together than to wait until we could afford a large wedding, rings, etc.

jsm - thank you for your support!

slg47 - I didn't know we didn't need an appraisal! That's a great piece of information. Thanks so much.

vc10um - the **Removed by moderator. No discussion of simulants allowed per PS policies** is a princess and the setting has 4 regular prongs. I wanted v-prongs to secure the stone better and I liked the way it looked, but I guess it wuold be a good decision to not have this done if it is too pricey.

 

[RaiKai]

Ugh I cannot edit on my phone.

What I meant to say is $300 would be fair if it was for replacing head. $100 is reasonable for that. But $300 to set plus $100 for head is high.

I would get quotes from others but you may find they do not save much more when head replacement, setting, labour and such is factored in, and you lose lifetime warranty (if that matters for you).

 

[lilyfoot]

Do you have a Jareds around you? Their setting fee for a 1ct stone should be around $100.

 

[Ella]

Ladies please remember we do not allow discussion of sims on PS.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 6/20/2010 9:06:14 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 6/20/2010 6:48:17 PM
Author: jsm
How many times do people around here say that if you want to get married, all it takes is a few dollars for a license and a JOP? A wedding does not a marriage make.

Or, perhaps a parent has money set aside for a wedding fund?


Even if they don''t, if they want to get married without much money, that is their decision. We eloped because that was all we could afford. Heck, to be honest I don''t think I have $400 in my bank account at the moment either! But DH and I are working, putting our money towards our bills, and are HAPPY. Money certainly makes things much easier, but it doesn''t buy you happiness.

Rant over.

She seems a bit out of sorts about not getting married soon enough, and says that it will take an entire summer to pay for a $400 ring. Between two people, this seems a little thread bare in the financial department. If they were going to the JOP and paying $30 to get married, and another $50 on simple bands, that''s one thing... but she is talking about a wedding. I asked a fair question, IMO.

It could be that they have no spending cash because they are saving so diligently, in which case, I applaud them and their fiscal savvy and responsibility.

Did you not see where she said they are both college students?

 

[JSM]

Graduate students is how I understand it - and since I was a grad student when I got married, I certainly can''t judge that!

Trill, all very good points, and perhaps I was not as familiar with her financial situation when I commented. Thanks for the info and best of luck to the OP, no matter what she decides.