Unhappy with hair trial, not sure what to do next?

[hawaiianorangetree]

So i had my hair and makeup trial last year in early December. I was pretty happy with my makeup, quite heavy on but it looks great in the photos.

I was not so happy with my hair though. I asked for a low bun, showed her some pictures and let her go with it. It looked nothing like what i was going for, i think she knew that i wasn''t too happy because she said that we could change anything about it on the day. I guess i felt that she didn''t really listen to what i was after.. i wanted sexy and sophisticated and in my mind i got high school ball hair.

So i am not too sure if i should stick with her and try and be more specific with what i want (even though i felt i was pretty clear in what i wanted.. i mean i showed pictures!) or take a risk and try and find a new hairdresser 6 weeks out from the wedding (and have to find a new hairdresser because i doubt i could go back to her if i went with someone else for the wedding)...

What do you think?

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

woops sorry that was huge!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

.

 

[laughwithme]

I think you need to call her up, and be honest with her that your hair trial, while still very pretty, isn''t quite what you imagined, and can you do another run? Even if you have to pay the fee, you don''t need this stress leading up to the wedding, and you need her to get your hair right. Even if her first attempt was a "trial" run, its basically null and void since the end goal is nothing like what she did - so it wasn''t a trial at all. She needs to practice the actual look you want.

Don''t be shy or feel guilty, you are the bride and you need this to look right.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

the front

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

one of the photos i showed her

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 1/28/2010 7:59:11 AM
Author: laughwithme
I think you need to call her up, and be honest with her that your hair trial, while still very pretty, isn''t quite what you imagined, and can you do another run? Even if you have to pay the fee, you don''t need this stress leading up to the wedding, and you need her to get your hair right. Even if her first attempt was a ''trial'' run, its basically null and void since the end goal is nothing like what she did - so it wasn''t a trial at all. She needs to practice the actual look you want.

Don''t be shy or feel guilty, you are the bride and you need this to look right.

You''re right. I guess i am a lilttle chicken and i feel stupid because i left there pretending that i was happy with it.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

the other pic i showed her

 

[beltane]

She did a lovely job, but it certainly isn''t what you wanted. (BTW you have beautiful hair!)

In my professional opinion (I am a licenced hairstylist

) she definitely has the skill to do what you want. It''s awfully late to try to find another stylist and I think this one does have the skill, she just didn''t quite "tweak" it into what you wanted on that day.

I can see clearly that you wanted the base part of your hair to definitely LOOK like a bun, which isn''t evident in your finished trial do that she did.

What I would do is: ask for a consultation. Tell her you just need 10 minutes of her time (she should do it for free) so you can bring in all the photos and talk about your hair plans. If you have the budget for another trial do, and that would make you feel better, go ahead. I don''t think it''s necessary. I would print off all the pictures you have showed us. Show her how the pictures you provided have a definite BUN, and yours does not.

Then, on the big day, make sure you are there early enough so you have extra time in case you want to make changes to your hair. Don''t leave her chair until your hair looks the way you want. You have hired her to provide a service, don''t be afraid of hurting her feelings. She is a professional and stylists who do bridal hair are fully prepared for brides who want it "just right". YOU are the important person that day. Your hair should be exactly what you want. If necessary have your mother or MOH prepared to be the one who says "It''s lovely, but the bun is not distinct enough. Can you make it a little more prominent?" and don''t get out of the chair until your attendants give you the thumbs up that it is picture perfect.

 

[purselover]

You shouldn''t have left if you were still unhappy, it''s your wedding so it''s important that your hair looks right and you''re satisified with it! I agree you need to go in for a consultation and be very clear about what you want, if you''re still not satisfied pay for a new trial. I had to tell my hairstylist I wasn''t happy with what she originally did and while I could tell she was offended (even though I was extremely nice about it) I didn''t care it was my wedding and she was getting paid and tipped handsomely to do it my way. In the end I loved my hair and I was so glad I insisted she do it again.

 

[beltane]

Date: 1/28/2010 9:19:33 AM
Author: purselover
You shouldn''t have left if you were still unhappy, it''s your wedding so it''s important that your hair looks right and you''re satisified with it! I agree you need to go in for a consultation and be very clear about what you want, if you''re still not satisfied pay for a new trial. I had to tell my hairstylist I wasn''t happy with what she originally did and while I could tell she was offended (even though I was extremely nice about it) I didn''t care it was my wedding and she was getting paid and tipped handsomely to do it my way. In the end I loved my hair and I was so glad I insisted she do it again.

Exactly! Hairstylists have been hired to provide a service. You wouldn''t say nothing if you hired a plumber and your sink still leaked. Same thing.

 

[meresal]

I'm sorry but your hair is nothing even remotely close to a "Low Bun".

I had the same EXACT issue as you. I wanted low woven bun, she gave me exactly what you hair looks like (my personal description was: "High School Prom"), and all the while she was putting it up, she kept repeating that "We can change anything I don't like that day-of".

Well, that is not what a trail is for. You should have been able to leave there saying, this is EXACTLY what I want! IMO, you should definitely find another hair stylist. If she knew how to do what you wanted, then she would have done it. I would not (and did not) trust my hair the day of my wedding to someone that couldn't even remotely do what I asked for at the trial.

ETA: It is NEVER too late to change anything about your wedding! There should be nothing left unsure on the day of your wedding. I would find someone that is known for doing wedding hair (Weddingwire.com). They might be a little more expensive, but they know how to do elegant.

 

[beltane]

Date: 1/28/2010 9:52:06 AM
Author: meresal
I''m sorry but your hair is nothing even remotely close to a ''Low Bun''.

I had the same EXACT issue as you. I wanted low woven bun, she gave me exactly what you hair looks like (my personal description was: ''High School Prom''), and all the while she was putting it up, she kept repeating that ''We can change anything I don''t like that day-of''.

Well, that is not what a trail is for. You should have been able to leave there saying, this is EXACTLY what I want! IMO, you should definitely find another hair stylist. If she knew how to do what you wanted, then she would have done it. I would not (and did not) trust my hair the day of my wedding to someone that couldn''t even remotely do what I asked for at the trial.

ETA: It is NEVER too late to change anything about your wedding! There should be nothing left unsure on the day of your wedding. I would find someone that is known for doing wedding hair (Weddingwire.com). They might be a little more expensive, but they know how to do elegant.

Too many things that a hairstylist can''t control can play into the first trial... did the client have her hair done that day? had she previously flat ironed it? did the client wash or wet her hair that day? (that is probably the BIGGEST problem for a wedding stylist!) did she even have enough of her own natural hair to create a sgnificant bun at the base? (Remember, most of those celebrities in those photos have extensions hidden inside their glorious locks.) Is the client''s hair too fine? too short?

A trial is to work out those kinks ahead of time. The trial helps your stylist know your hair and what it is capable of -- especially if she isn''t your usual hairstylist, the one who does your hair every 8 weeks. From the detailwork in your photos, that stylist seems to have the skill to carry off the style you want. Did she recommend perhaps some temporary extensions to give a little ooomph to your bun? Or perhaps a little ''bird''s nest'' to conceal inside it?

The first trials I have with my clients are always a consultation. Helps me get my hands on her hair. Feel it. Know the thickness/fineness. See the length I have to work with to create the magic. See the style the bride is hoping for and most importantly, be brutally honest with her whether her hair can actually pull off that ''do''. The second appointment is usually the actual physical ''trial''... that way the bride''s hair is not damp, it is pre-blown out and prepared with the correct products (my brides always come in the day before for a shampoo/blowout and then they are not allowed to touch their hair until their big appointment the next day!)

If you are nervous about this particular stylist, I agree with meresal, it is never too late to find a new one that you have confidence in. You shouldn''t be worrying right up until that morning whether or not your hair is going to be what you want.

If you try a new stylist, I think you would be happier if you book a consultation first (bring your pics, if you have a tiara/veil, etc) find out what SHE needs from you, then book the actual physical trial appointment so your hair is ready to be done that day. Ask to see photos of previous brides she has done (not every hairstylist can do bridal hair.) I think you will have a more satisfactory experience.

If you''re scared, change your stylist for sure.

 

[katamari]

If you are unhappy, then there is no reason to not get what you want. But, I actually think your hair looks very similar to the inspiration photos. My recommendation would be to find a picture taken directly behind the head of the actual bun. It may just be that you needed a different picture for her to see your vision.

ETA: Looking again at the photos, I think the "very" may have been an overstatement, but I do still believe they are similar and you need a shot from the back. Also, is your hair long enough to make a bun that big, that low? Or will you be adding extensions? Both of your inspiration photos look like they are women that wear a ton of extensions. Also something to keep in mind.

 

[kas baby]

"The first trials I have with my clients are always a consultation. Helps me get my hands on her hair. Feel it. Know the thickness/fineness. See the length I have to work with to create the magic. See the style the bride is hoping for and most importantly, be brutally honest with her whether her hair can actually pull off that 'do'. The second appointment is usually the actual physical 'trial'... that way the bride's hair is not damp, it is pre-blown out and prepared with the correct products (my brides always come in the day before for a shampoo/blowout and then they are not allowed to touch their hair until their big appointment the next day!)"


oh my goodness beltane- where are you at?! I haven't had someone pay attention to my hair like that in years. We used to have a really great hairdresser when I was younger, then she moved

I haven't found anybody like her since. Would love to be able to confide in someone about my hair and what looks good etc... You sound like you would be wonderful

definitely keeping all of this advice in mind when I go searching, again

hawaiian, i think your hair is gorgeous(and I'm a tad bit jealous)but it definitely should be exactly how you want it. Maybe take your pictures in and tell her, 'you know I really like this- but- this part should be more... etc' and then go from there. good luck

 

[oddoneout]

I think what the hairstylist did was lovely but didn''t really look like your inspiration pics. I would return and explain things.

 

[beltane]

"oh my goodness beltane- where are you at?! I haven''t had someone pay attention to my hair like that in years."

Stylists are taught basic updo skills in hairschool, but whether or not they have a "flair" for it, or an interest in it will determine how much they further nurture their talent in this area after they graduate and get "out on the floor". Not all hairstylists have a flair, or an interest in updos. Sometimes an updo is simply a quick way to make $150 for $2 worth of bobbypins and a few spritz''s of hairspray. (Personally, I hate perms. I won''t even do them anymore. Hate the smell. Hate rolling them. Every hairstylist has something they hate.)

It is not inappropriate, when phoning a salon, to blatantly ask if they have a stylist specially trained in updos. If they say "Oh ya, we do updos", that is not good enough. Does this stylist do them often? Have they taken extra courses? Do they upgrade their skills? It''s okay to say to their receptionist "I''m extremely picky, I want a phenomenal updo and need a highly skilled stylist who can do this." And then also be prepared to pay for that service. My updos start at $90, that''s for a simple french twist, and they go up from there. That doesn''t include the trial updo, or the day before prep blowout, which I insist on.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Thanks to laughwithme, beltane, purselover, meresal, katamari, kas and oddoneout for your words of wisdom and advice!

I think that i will go and see her again and give her another shot at the trial.. she has been my hairdresser for over 4 years and i would hate to loose her because i am too chicken to tell her the truth in how i feel.

(and because she has just gone mobile which is extermely convenient!)

I agree with everyone that the (nonexistant) bun needs to be more prominent. Do i have enough of my own hair to make it more prominent? I don''t know. But thank got for hair extensions hey??

I think i will ask her if she thinks that''s what i need to make the bun more obvious and go from there with the rest of the style. There is enough hair to make some kind of a bun, but probably not as big as i would like. My hair is just to my shoulder blades, it''s not thick but there is definately alot of it!

Well i am off to visit projectwedding to sift through the 15000 odd hair pictures they have to see if i can find some better ones to illustrate what i want!

 

[purselover]

Good luck let us know how it goes! I''m glad you''re giving her a second chance, a good stylist is hard to find so hopefully you''ll be able to work things out.

 

[monarch64]

When I look at your inspiration pics and then your trial pics, the first thing that comes to mind is that she didn''t give you enough volume in the front. I don''t think you have bangs, though? The outstanding difference I see is that in the two inspiration pics (yes the buns are lower and more prominent also) the ladies'' bangs are very full and sideswept but noticeably bangs and not part of the woven-in-towards-the-bun section. You definitely had a skilled hairdresser, it just may be that since your hair is similar but not quite the same (and sans extensions and bangs) you aren''t getting the desired effect. I would call her up, tell her you''re not quite satisfied, and ask her what she suggests to get the exact look you want.

 

[meresal]

HOT- I hope that you get what you want at the next appointment.

For my own piece of mind, I just wanted to share that it never even occurred to me to use my regular hair dresser who cuts my hair as the person I had do my wedding day style. Like Beltane said, different stylists have a "knack" for different aspects of hair.

I hope that you do your next trail soon, because if she can''t give you want you want, you are getting short on time, for finding someone that isn''t already booked. Please keep us updated and let us know how it goes! Best of luck!

 

[ArtistJess]

here is a pretty look that you might like.. it looks like a mixture between your inspiration photos and what you actually got, so it might be do-able.

 

[meresal]

If I were you, I would show her tons of pictures that actually show the bun, from the side, so that she can see how far you want it to stick out from teh back of your neck.

I think she got the "wind-swept" look you were going for in the front/top, but didn't quite "complete" the look you want thru the back.

That is what I am seeing anyway. Also, with the hair that loose, I have a feeling that you are definitely going to need extensions to get a bun that big. My hair was to the middle of my back, and I still didn't have a real big bun, and my hair was pulled pretty tight. You might want to call your hair stylist and ask her which type she prefers to work with, and take the pieces with you to your trial.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 1/29/2010 11:47:19 AM
Author: meresal

If I were you, I would show her tons of pictures that actually show the bun, from the side, so that she can see how far you want it to stick out from teh back of your neck.

I think she got the ''wind-swept'' look you were going for in the front/top, but didn''t quite ''complete'' the look you want thru the back.

That is what I am seeing anyway. Also, with the hair that loose, I have a feeling that you are definitely going to need extensions to get a bun that big. My hair was to the middle of my back, and I still didn''t have a real big bun, and my hair was pulled pretty tight. You might want to call your hair stylist and ask her which type she prefers to work with, and take the pieces with you to your trial.

Meresal you are absolutely right. Thanks for creating a succinct description that is a perfect representation for what is going on with my hair. (i have been trying to figure out ''what it is'' for ages) This is exactly what i need to tell my hairdresser.

Jess, that pic is beautiful! I''m pretty sure i added it to my inspiration folder on project wedding last night.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 1/29/2010 9:30:57 AM
Author: monarch64
When I look at your inspiration pics and then your trial pics, the first thing that comes to mind is that she didn''t give you enough volume in the front. I don''t think you have bangs, though? The outstanding difference I see is that in the two inspiration pics (yes the buns are lower and more prominent also) the ladies'' bangs are very full and sideswept but noticeably bangs and not part of the woven-in-towards-the-bun section. You definitely had a skilled hairdresser, it just may be that since your hair is similar but not quite the same (and sans extensions and bangs) you aren''t getting the desired effect. I would call her up, tell her you''re not quite satisfied, and ask her what she suggests to get the exact look you want.

Monarch i think you make a really good point. Thanks. I am definately prepared to cut some bangs and get the extensions!! (well at least talk about cutting the bangs)